Guys, you're in public and you're the mayor and the sheriff and that is an uncomfortably long kiss.

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Guys, you're in public and you're the mayor and the sheriff and that is an uncomfortably long kiss.
Reblog if your villain/heroine ship that people keep side-eyeing fits the Francie Nolan Approval Criteria as established by Betty Smith in 1943:
Ship getting together would solve central conflict
Villain willing to go to a whole lot of trouble to win heroine
Villain is around while the canon love interest is off doing Hero Things
Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon You come and go, you come and go Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dream Red, gold and green, red, gold and green
Eve: You.
Moriarty: "You"? That's what I get? "You"? Well, nice to see you, too, Duchess.
honestly this is a salty post (so be forewarned) because I’m salty and I know, I KNOW SUSAN YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME, that this rarepair is dead and me and my ~1~ friend on tunglr.gov are the only people who still ship it, but----- yall remember when Eve had someone who worshiped her? From almost the very first moment they met- he thought she was the most incredible person (hell of a woman) he’d encountered in all his years? The most brilliant person, (quite a detective), despite his own brilliance? A man who died for her despite losing her love? A man who was flawed, but would literally do anything for her despite his own natural inclination to look out for himself?
if you think I’m talking about Flynn DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG i miss my boy Moriarty and how he valued Eve the way her stunning, talented, strong, empathetic, beautiful goddess self SHOULD BE valued, and how he would have done anything to deserve her/be the man she wanted/CHANGE HIMSELF and never would have be a “runner” and run from her. (ESPECIALLY MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!!) it is only by MAGIC and the grace of EVERY GOD KNOWN TO MANKIND that the nutball, spastic, talks-over-everyone, grandpa clothes wearing Flynn got aN ANGEL LIKE EVE--- and he doesn’t seem to fucking realize this and appreciate that fact everyday!! (unlike someone would) and yknow I was resigned to their relationship by the end of season three as long as she was happy. BUT HTIS LATEST BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!
OH BOY
OH MAN
OH SWEET JIBBITY JESUS
IT REALLY SKIVVIES MY JIMMIES MAN!!!!
AND I’M DONE!! I’M DONE ACCEPTING FLYNN’S SHIT IN REGARDS TO EVE!!! BECAUSE HE’S GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME!!!! I don’t usually put this stuff in the tags because I don’t like starting drama but you guys I’m so heated!!! I’m so angry for her and at him!!! How dare he do my wife that way. How dare he make her cry and hurt and think his issues are her fault.
and even if James never comes back, and they never get together (wHICH YES SUSAN I GOT IT, IF IT HASN’T HAPPENED YET IT NEVER WILL I GOT IT GET OFF MY BLOG!!11!!) I never want her together with Flynn again and will accept her with LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE (A GAY BUDDY FROM THE OLD ARMY DAYS MAYHAPS PLEASE AND THANK) (or better yet Nicole because wouldn’t that be poetic irony and also their episode together was verra gay so halfway there already) because he doesn’t EVER deserve to have her back and I will personally kick every single one of the writer’s asses if they write her taking him back.
okay im done now thanks for listening to my shitty, ranty TED talk please yell about this in the comments if you wish i’d love to yell more with you
Eviarty Coffee Shop AU
Headcanons:
Eve Baird is the CEO of a well respected security company. She loves being able to put her skills from her NATO days to good use by protecting civilians who are in danger. Although she loves her job it keeps her busy, being the boss means she is on call 24hrs a day. But almost every morning from 5 to 5:30 you can find her at her local coffee shop. She gives herself that half in hour to enjoy her coffee, read the newspaper, and mentally prepare for the day.
James Moriarty is a world renown author who has written a series of detective novels that takes place in a different city around the world. He has written five books each taking the name of the city for it’s title. Lisbon, Perth, Sao Paulo, Oslo, and Kyoto. Moriarty will live in each city for six months trying to soak in the atmosphere and really get to know the place he will be writing about before he returns to London, his home base. His current work-in-progress takes place in New York. He is in his fifth month in the city that never sleeps when he stumbles into the coffee shop that is around the corner from his flat. He desperately needs a caffeine boost as he just pulled an all-nighter working on a particularly stubborn chapter.
He orders coffee (having learned the hard way that Americans can’t make tea to save their life) and stumbles into the first seat his legs bump into. It takes three sips of too hot coffee for him to realize he chose a table already occupied. He blinks tiredly at the beautiful woman sitting across from him, who was currently staring at him frostily from over her newspaper, and he can’t help but wonder if she is a lovely figment of his sleep deprived imagination.
Finally waking up enough to realize he is intruding, Moriarty hastily introduces himself. Eve takes his hand pretending not to have recognized the name and then smiling to herself when he seems a bit put out by that fact. (Even though she almost has his entire series on her bookshelf and is only waiting on Oslo which is back ordered in order to complete her collection.)
When he hears the name Baird he asks if she is anyway affiliated with Baird Security Services. When she warily says yes. He asks if he can pump her for information. He has a few questions for his latest novel. She acquiesces and answers his first question in such depth that a half an hour passes before she notices the time. She quickly apologizes and gathers her stuff. Moriarty asks her to stay as he has more questions. Eve lets him know that she is here everyday at 5 and that if he wants more answers he can come back then. As Eve walks to work she assumes that will be that last she hears from Moriarty as such a big name author would have better things to do then wake up at the crack of dawn.
But to her surprise when she’s arrives the next day he is already at her table with a notebook and pencil in hand. He even has her coffee waiting for her, a nonfat triple shot latte. She is impressed that he remembered.
For the next half in hour he picks her brain about the ins and outs of running a security business. The next morning he is there again with more questions and Eve starts to slip in her own on what it is like to write best selling novels. Eventually the conversations shift from work to more personal areas and they get to know each other as James and Eve. It then becomes routine that they would meet in the early morning just as the sun was raising. Eve instead of leaving promptly at 5:30 would find herself lingering, five, ten, fifteen minutes.
The month passed quickly. Soon it was time for Moriarty to pack up and go back to London to polish off his novel and turn it into his publisher. The next morning at what Eve had started to think as their table was a bouquet of flowers and a note with a phone number attached. That was the start, and from there it was phone calls, letters, and skype dates. As the months rolled on the calls got longer, till finally Eve took her first vacation in five years and went to London. There she spends a blissful week being escorted around.
Eve sleeps in every morning and wakes up next to James and can’t help wish that her vacation could last for just a bit longer. Then as they sit at the kitchen table of his flat, watching the sunrise over the Thames she realizes she has fallen in love with the man sitting next to her. Moriarty has the same revelation when it is time for Eve to leave. Soon they both crossing the Atlantic whenever life permits, and each time one of them has to leave it becomes more difficult.
A year later Moriarty’s novel is published and he hand delivers the first copy to a surprised Eve at her work in New York. She reads the dedication inside and it simply says To Eve, Will you marry me? She grabs a pen from her desk and writes Yes underneath and gives him a very enthusiastic kiss in front of all her employees.
A year after that newlyweds James and Eve move into their L.A. bungalow. Eve has decided to expand her business and open up a branch office in Los Angeles. Moriarty in support of that decision decided that his newest novel just had to be set in the city of Angels as he was unwilling to be parted from his love for such a length of time.
And to this day they celebrate every anniversary in a coffee shop.
(Even though I have no time to write a proper story for these two I had to do something because I love them so. If anyone wants to run with this idea you have my permission just let me know so I can read it! :)
Week 12: Eve and Moriarty
For some reason this was kind of my guilty ship because I felt like it was betraying Evlynn, especially when watching season 2 for the first time. Watching it back afterwards I don’t feel that anymore, but it is an interesting ship.
Obviously Flynn and Eve’s relationship is tense for most of season 2, so Moriarty showing up and attempting to woo Eve doesn’t help matters. Flynn being super stressed about Prospero completely renders his ability to think past that useless, which isn’t a new behavior, but it’s grating on Eve since now she doesn’t have the LiT’s to mother hen so much.
Side note: A lot of people get annoyed with Flynn, thinking he’s doing this on purpose, not willing to change, but he knows he’s straining their relationship; it’s his personality fighting him. He prioritizes his problems, and Prospero being loose is #1 because Flynn very much has an apocalyptic scenario ending in mind, so it didn’t matter if he stopped to repair their relationship if they weren’t alive later to enjoy it, thus his “fix the bigger problem first, then go and fix the little stuff after” mood the whole season. It wasn’t that he thought his relationship with Eve was little, it was that it wasn’t a possible source for mass destruction like Prospero.
Moriarty, however, wasn’t focused on completely serving Prospero like he was supposed to; his constant desire to defy him, figure out a way to free himself, is why Eve keeps working with him/he keeps showing up as he keeps being the sort of 3rd party in their fight of good vs. evil.
It doesn’t also help that Moriarty is quite similar to Flynn, but more put together, more manipulating, and more charming. Moriarty, despite being in a different century than he was written in, has much better social skills and is quite intelligent, which doesn’t help Flynn’s sort of bad social skills when he can’t bs his way through something. The fact that Moriarty actually gives her attention pulls on Eve’s annoyance that Flynn is being Flynn and neglecting their relationship.
In that car ride to find Ray and Flynn in “And the Hollow Men,” Moriarty ends up helping Eve sort her frustrations and mixed feelings with Flynn. By now she’s impervious to Moriarty’s charm besides a general sense of flattered sometimes, so he goes for ratting on Flynn, comparing him to Sherlock, a bit I always found weird because if Moriarty’s comparing them in terms of the relationship strain because of the difference of the solver/strategist personalities, what exactly is Moriarty attempting to suggest other than that he wanted to “settle down” with Sherlock the way he assumes Eve wants to settle down with Flynn?
Moriarty looks pretty smug at the end of that scene, but I think that’s when Eve realizes that yeah, Flynn’s a runner, but he’s doing what he thinks is right and he’s going all out on it which he did in season 1 searching for the Library, and does again in season 3 on finding a way to defeat Apep.
Since Flynn and Moriarty are comparable people in terms of skills and intellect, Eve and Moriarty would also be a pretty terrifying power couple, but it’d be very tenuous, if it lasted. Moriarty’s a bit too...morally ambiguous, or perhaps more focused on his own well-being, than Flynn by a long shot. No one in their right mind would trust Moriarty to do the right thing over what works out best for him per his nature (though I will say I love fics that redeem him on this because I like Moriarty breaking out of his written personality), so Eve would have to be the moral compass, and figure out how to control him while also being the muscle.
Sure, Moriarty actually plans stuff, which would take some stress off her, but she’d have to plan somewhat against him in case he decided to switch it up for change of interest or if he developed an overarching plan to not actually have any detriment to him at the cost of lives or such. Flynn she can trust to have the interest of the world in mind, though sometimes he forgets to think about his own safety in that, but that’s something she can work with much easier than out-planning Moriarty.
Eve and Moriarty had an important relationship in season 2. Without him, Eve would’ve had a much harder time coming to terms with who Flynn is and how he’s not going to change anytime soon, and Moriarty highlighted the fact that Flynn, while he can be pompous at times, genuinely cares about saving people and the world, which outweighs the annoying bits of his hyper-focus and minor problem avoidance. I think Eve changed Moriarty too; I think he realized at the end what it’s like to actually have strong feelings towards someone, that he was never going to needle his way between Eve and Flynn, and perhaps he realized that maybe it’s nice to care about someone that way, even if he never got to experience that.