#evil parenting

[sirlordevil]

Hi! Sir, did you ever notice that sometimes when Crescent jumps, it will rarely look like she's hovering of a moment before she comes back down like normal?

Actually no, I haven't.

I wonder if that's something she needs to see a doctor about....

[sirlordevil]

*"Crescent" has opened her Christmas presents and hugs Sir and Sunny, grateful for the gifts.*

"Thank you!"

[She had gotten a Percy Jackson shirt, a diy bookmark kit, and a squishmallow.]

( @deadless-corpse and @the-belle-sisters [Bennett])

[He hugs Cresent back and pats her on the head]

Now don't go thanking me, thank Satan Claws! ....or is it Santa Clause..? Uh- Merry Christmas!

[sirlordevil]

*"Crescent" notices how Sir has been acting recently and puts her book down. She walks over to Sir and gives him a hug.*

"I'll never know what you went through, but I want you to know that I'm there for you."

[Bends down and hugs her back, pretty much hiding her in my cloak]

Oh sweetheart, you don't have to worry about me. You just being here and having fun with whatever you're doing is more than enough for me.

[tolkienswiggityswag]

When I'm a mom I'm going to teach my children the history of middle earth and tell them it's real history.

[itsevilgirl]

((Here's a glimpse into Mel and Heinz's baby daughter's future, when she is 8. Inspired by a conversation @That_EvilGirl and @Evil_Dr_Doof (a different set of Melinda and Heinz) had about our Ashley, on Twitter))

“But daaaad!”,  came the childish whine of eight year old Ashley. “You build evil inators all the time! Why can’t I do it with you?” the little girl insisted. Sometimes Mel swore her daughter was too smart for her own good.

 “It’s too dangerous, honey,” Heinz replied, a sympathetic smile on his face.  Melinda knew he’d want nothing more than to let their daughter help him with his evil inventions, but he was far too protective to allow it to happen. He explained it to the child patiently, smiling at her: “Things blow up sometimes, and, and you’re too young to be handling /tools/! You could get hurt! I, I promise to let you build with me when you’re older!” 

Without missing a beat, Ashley questioned, placing a tiny hand on her hip: “How much older? You built stuff when you were a kid!” Neither of her parents could keep from laughing. That girl had some wit. Heinz explained it to her a bit sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck: “Only because my parents couldn’t care less about me! We care about you, we won’t let you hurt yourself.” He pondered her question for a minute, before answering with a grin:  “… Heh, maybe when you’re 15 you can help! If … if you still want to!” He briefly wondered if a teenage Ashley would still have any interest in hanging out with her father. He hoped to evilness she would, because letting her help now was out of the question. “Y-yes, I, I think 15 is a safe age,” he muttered mostly to himself, trying to avoid second guessing his decision. Mel nodded, showing him she agreed with him, and he suddenly felt more confident about it.

“Fifteen?!” Ashley protested. “That’s a lifetime from now!” She crossed her arms, puffed up her cheeks and stomped, in what was the start of a very mild tantrum. Heinz tried to appease her; he hated when someone he loved was upset with him. “Honey, I’m, I’m sorry, it’s just too dangerous!” He looked at his wife for help, and Mel chimed in: “Ashley, I’m sorry, but dad’s word is final. And what did mommy tell you about throwing tantrums?” Her tone was kind, but firm. Ashley sighed dramatically and shuffled her feet; “You told me it’s not polite and that I have to be nice if I want to manipulate people into doing what I want them to do." Heinz grinned widely at his wife, and Mel beamed with pride at her daughter. “That’s my little evil girl!”

Ashley resigned herself to her fate, and looked up at her mother with round blue eyes that looked just like Heinz’s. “Then, can I tag along the next time you rob a bank, mommy?” Both parents laughed softly; their daughter was so determined to do evil deeds, it was absolutely endearing! Mel knelt, to get on the little girl’s level, and took Ashley’s hands in hers: “Not until you’re eighteen, honey.  You’d need a lot of training before pulling a successful heist.” The child opened her mouth to protest, but thought better of it and closed it again. She gazed from her mom to her dad, whining a little. “I just want to be cool like you guys!“ 

Hearing their daughter say that made their evil hearts melt. Mel couldn’t stop grinning, and her green eyes were sparkling. Heinz’s whole face lit up; he could barely contain how overjoyed he was, his grin spreading from ear to ear. “Y-you think your dad’s cool? Really?!” Ashley nodded, smiling to him; “Of course, dad! You’re the coolest! So is mom!” Heinz knelt down next to Mel, to kiss their daughter on the top of her head; he was so touched by her words.

“You’re already cool like we are!,” Mel assured Ashley, smiling broadly at her. “You just need to be a little more grown up to do the things we do. Just be patient, okay, sweetie?” Ashley nodded; “Okaaay, mom.” She gave each of her parents a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek . “I love you guys! Can I go play now?” Her parents told her they loved her too, and let her go play.

There was a hint of smugness in Ashley’s eyes after she heard them tell her how much they loved her. Heinz noticed; he exchanged a knowing glance with Mel, and the couple stifled their laughter. As Ashley turned to walk away, Mel called after her, smirking a little: “But you still can’t join us in our evil jobs until you’re older!” 

“….Rats.”  Ashley would sulk about it all night.

[fullonmonet]

I told our big girls that we would probably not go to the PNB Nutcracker this year because it would be too much, but I took advantage of the VIP member black friday sale and BAM tickets for the 20th at 7:30.  I don't want to tell them because they are CRUSHED that we aren't going, they nearly tear up every time they see the commercial that my evil parent soul is going to love surprising them. But then there is the part of me that can't keep a fantastic secret and makes people open their presents the moment she buys them. DILEMMA!  

[librarianpirate]

Macaroni and Cheese is one of Kinsie's favorite things.

When I serve it to her for lunch today should I call it noodles and cheese sauce?