EVO HAIR BUNGEES in Operation Desert Storm (A Review)
Looking akin to an emergency clothes line for one sock, the evo® mister fantastic hair bungee is actually a courageous new product that will satisfy your desire for novelty as well as restore your faith in human ingenuity.
While the evo® marketing machine hasn't included any of the literary genius that characteristically emblazons its products, it cannot be faulted for letting this bizarre little contraption speak for itself. On the face of things, it is a wholly utilitarian effort, with the following instructions included:
The product is well-made and the grade of bungee rope does provide adequate torque to hold hair in place under inclement conditions. It did, for example, stand up to the strong desert gusts of Marfa, Texas (conditions shown in the video above). In such cases, securing one's hair is highly recommended and may preclude the use of The Original Mane 'n Tail Detangler "The Tangles and Knots Solution"*
While I do believe the mister fantastic hair bungee to be a breakthrough innovation in hair security, this comes with two caveats.
First, it may only prove useful for long and/or thick hair in which case the dreaded ponytail droop, with its eventual spiral into full blown collapse, is a threat. Those sporting smaller, sprightlier ponytails may not require the additional support of the hair bungee, and have little ground coverage to camouflage the two hooks straining their overexposed, angelic little scalps.
Second, it soon becomes apparent that the benefit of this product is less utilitarian than first meets the eye. Use of the bungee requires a certain level of cunning. To reap the full benefits, you must lose all muscle memory associated with using hair ties. You must commit yourself to winding it round tightly, over and above itself. Any gaps will cause your pony to bubble up like a string-tied pork roast. You must be mentally prepared, like a gymnast, or ballet dancer, or other OCD sportswoman, all of whom would be ideal candidates for this product.
Real mastery of the hair bungee, however, may allow you to achieve hair until now only seen in 60s movies stills - in which case there was probably an "invisible hand" behind the actress's up-do. Once proficient in bungeeing, you may even dare to enjoy such thrills as securing your hair when your nails are freshly painted (a possibility as you are wrapping the hair rather than pulling it through a tie).
I usually wear my hair down, so the extent to which the hair bungee assists me in everyday life has not been life altering. But if you are the kind of person who likes to go charging through life with your strong-willed hair tightly and defiantly swept up behind you, I envision the evo® mister fantastic hair bungee might just provide the kind of support, physical and emotional, that you require.
A pack of six retails at $8.95, which is not bad considering the ridiculously inflated prices of hair ties in the current economy.
8/10
* BONUS Review!! This American detangling aid, apparently made for little girls and their ponies, is effective on wind-molested hair. But if you can avoid that whole sorry situation arising in the first place, so much less the trauma (it doesn't prevent breakage). 7/10