#evolution rewrite

[the-writing-artist]

It recently occured to me that I should post up the references I have for my A World Without Danger story. All of these are old, and I will probably redo them in the future, but for now, this is what all the characters look like, both main characters, plus a couple of characters that haven't made an appearance until now.

Pre-AWWD Jeremie's avatar is currently being redone.

[sparatus]

i just had the line "kick his ass and say it's from me" pop into my head as something abrudas would definitely say re: desolas and im quaking in my boots that is a line of Power

im thinking. evolution rewrite, saren visits abrudas in the hospital, confesses how strange des has been being, abrudas is worried but attempts to cheer him up by assuring him it's just because she's not around to beat him in sparring and keep his ego in check

[sparatus]

gag in the evolution rewrite: harper and co try to make desolas wait for his squad on his knees. hislop is like "okay, on your knees, general" and des responds "oh sorry, i'm not into xeno ;)". they decide to let him keep standing

[sparatus]

i also just want an excuse to expound upon how abrudas calls desolas by his first name, not "general" or anything else formal. YOU WROTE THEM AS FRIENDS AT LEAST, MAC WALTERS.

[sparatus]

trufax half of my motivation for an evolution rewrite boils down to "desolas's scenes clearly establish him as joking, sarcastic, snarky bastard, but bioware doesn't utilize it to its fullest effect and let him make jokes that are what you would expect from a sarcastic jokester, not just snide xenophobic comments here and there"

[sparatus]

mmmmgueeess who’s been outlining the evolution rewrite in class for lack of any actual notes to take

if you can’t read it fullview or bust, it isn’t actually important to be able to read it just know it exists

most important highlight: abrudas figures out the message from “desolas” is faked cause 1) desolas is speaking too formally 2) his cadence and grammar is wrong for him, the message sounds like translated imperial standard instead of translated carthaani 3) he never calls her “lieutenant” and most damningly of all 4) desolas has a heavy carthaani accent that’s missing in the message

basically i’ll also be trying to fill in the plot hole of “wait how can the humans and turians understand each other when there definitely aren’t official proper translation softwares yet”; long story short the humans have a rudimentary translator key for imperial standard and No Other Turian Language so desolas is speaking standard to them both so they can understand him and so he can tip off abrudas by not speaking the language he normally uses

not included cause i thought of it later: during the desolas-harper Physical Altercation des gets hislop’s arm in his mouth and c r u s h e s   i t, which is then important later when they find the monolith