CHAPTER ONE: RED DESERT
PAIRING: ex!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Swearing
Series Summary: Bucky realizes one can only run from their problems for so long before they must returns home but he sure as hell wasn't expecting her to be there when he did.
Word Count: 1k
A/N: This Series is based off the Album “Calm” by 5sos. If you want to follow along in the album, listen to Red Desert while reading this!
Series masterlist // Masterlist Coming soon
“My love, are you coming to bed?” she giggled, wrapping herself in a cocoon of blankets at the edge of his bed before collapsing backwards to collect the remote from the bedside table.
“Yeah, I’m coming.” His razor swiping away the last of the shaving cream off his face signaled the end of his meticulous night routine.
Her full lips took the shape of a mopey pout as he exited the bathroom. “Bucky, Bucky, Bucky… don't you know I like my men with a bit of gruff?”She pulled him onto the bed and placed a kiss on his freshly shaven face. “I guess you're the exception!’
“Very funny, now it's past my bedtime Mila..” The tired grumble in his voice dulled the girl slightly as she muted the tv and cuddled up to the man. She quickly drifted off leaving him to trace the lines in the all too familiar ceiling. Every sleepless night in her home leads to him finding a new face in the abstract texture, so to expect anything different would be crazier than he feels himself becoming as he desperately tries to find his peaceful slumber. Hour after hour, his mind paints figures of his past that he cannot escape. Gently sliding out of her grasp, he walked out to his balcony, draping himself over the edge. The cool breeze cooled his head as he leaned over just a little further. If someone would have been there they probably would have stopped him, calling him reckless. At least that's what Steve would have done. He missed Steve and on nights like this, he even missed the compact city of New York. The sleepy town he found himself only mocked his insomnia, while in New York, he knew he wasn't alone in being awake and it soothed him slightly. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his pack of cigarettes and lit what appeared to be his final one. He didn't smoke often, just on nights like these, which could be considered often enough if you asked his girlfriend Camilla. The numbers 3:49 flashed past his face as he took long drags from his cigarette. It didn't take long for the lit object to wither away but before he could take his last drag and smother it on the metal railing that surrounded him, his phone buzzed in his pocket.
Steve: Hey Buck, it's been a while! I know it's kinda last minute but next week is recruitment week and I’ll be completely swamped with evaluations. If you want to come help, know that the invitation is extended. (We’ve still got your room here at the compound if you're interested!)
Instantly, his thumbs began tapping the response.
Bucky: Not surprised you're struggling without me there. I’ll fly out in the morning punk.
With that sent, he snuck back into his room, gathering his suitcase and belongings. As the sun rose, she awoke to the smell of coffee emerging from her kitchen. Stumbling in, she found a note taped above the coffee maker.
Had to go, Steve needed help in the states
Call soon, Bucky
•••
It wasn't long before Bucky found himself strapped into a seat aboard his international flight back to the US. Knowing Tony Stark had its perks and when he initially told everybody he would be leaving, Pepper contacted the nearest charter service and insisted on giving him a ticket back for when he was ready. It was unfortunate that it was only a one way ticket. The other tragedy that plagued his mind was the gift of solidarity private charters provide to those aboard (in this case just Bucky).
His month long battle with insomnia resolved itself about 3 hours into the flight, much to his surprise. The first three hours were spent, once again, combing over memories of the past, this time with no balcony to escape too. This is why he would later credit his state of sleep to a survival mechanism.
After landing, he hailed a taxi straight to the compound and arrived within the hour. After tipping quite generously and retrieving his bags from the taxi, he stood in front of the building he called home less that a year ago.
But a lot can change in a year.
The wide white doors still accepted his credentials, allowing the first chuckle to escape his lips in months. Tony was never one to slack on security, but Bucky assumed that without a global crisis in a few years, he had gone soft. As soon as his foot crossed the threshold of the compound, he was greeted by a friendly smile.
“Bucky! How have you been?” The large blonde’s smile grew as he took out his ear buds and engulfed the man in a hug.
“Not too bad Stevie! Now wait a second..” Steve released him from his hug and a furrowed expression took hold of his face. “Isn't 6:30 a little late for your morning run?” The blonde erupted in laughter at the comment, slinging his arm around the brunette and leading him to his room.
“It’s nice to have you back Buck”
Bucky soon found he was surrounded by familiarity as he enclosed himself in his old room. Inhaling deeply, he realized he missed this. The smell of the sandalwood desk he had crafted his first summer in the new compound, the sound of the training academy not too far from outside his window. Even the familiarity of his dark blue sheets engulfing him as he laid quietly on his bed made him realize he may have needed some comfort in the form of things he once knew. Peering down at his watch, he rose from the position and began for the gym, attempting to fall back into his routine as soon as possible.
“Oh my god! Bucky! Welcome back!” A red head behind him caught his attention.
“Tasha! It's great to see you again!” He beamed, jogging over and embracing her in a tight hug before taking steps backwards toward the gym. “I’m going down to the gym if you want to join!”
“No thanks Barnes, I’m not trying to beat your ass on your first day back” She let out a small laugh before turning back around.
“Well it was nice seeing you around!” Bucky laughed, stepping backwards once more before turning around, right into someone causing the yoga mat and phone in their hand to collide with the floor. His laugh carried over, “Here, let me help you wi-... Y/N?”
au #10 and prompt #2 with jungkook pls and thank u!!!!!!!!
Summary | On your graduation day, you find out two things: 1. Jungkook’s falling out of love with you and 2. it’s because of another woman.
“When did you run out of love for me?”
Genre | lots of angst + ex!au
Word Count | 1.6k
Your relationship with Jungkook is going well. This is the biggest lie you’ve told your friends and yourself. But what you don’t know is that you’re not fooling anyone. They can see it from your smile that had gotten smaller over time. They can see it in the stars that have slowly vanished from Jungkook’s eyes. They can see it when Jungkook lets go of your hand when they’re out of sight.
You’re not quite sure how it all started. But you knew that it was slowly coming to an end.
“I’m so proud of you, wifey.” Taehyung gently nudges you. You look up at him and flash a smile.
The both of you are seated next to each other in the auditorium, along with hundreds of other students. Taehyung watches you as your eyes wander throughout the auditorium, looking for someone. He notices how you’re fidgeting in your seat, how you’re glancing at your watch every now and then. He can’t help but feel nothing but pity for you.
“Looking for someone?” He decides to ask.
You quickly shake your head. “No.”
“You’re looking for him, aren’t you?” He questions and you immediately fall silent. Your head hangs low and he takes it as his cue to rub your back to console you.
Taehyung’s the only person that knows about your failing relationship with Jungkook. He’s the only person you trust, aside from Jungkook, since the both of you have been best friends since high school. He’s the person you tell everything to. He knows everything. He knows about that time where Jungkook forgot your anniversary and never came home to you that night. He knows about that time where Jungkook showed up late to your date for the third time. He even remembers that time where he coincidentally saw Jungkook shopping for a necklace that wasn’t for you.
But of all things, there’s something he knows that you don’t. And it’s the fact that Jungkook’s meeting another woman behind your back. And yet he still can’t gather himself together to tell you, because he’s terrified of the outcome and how ruined you’ll be.
“I told him that the ceremony would start at ten.” You explain. “It’s already twelve and the ceremony’s about to end.”
“Maybe he slept in?” He tries to make things lighter for you but it doesn’t work.
“I wish I could believe that one,” you mutter softly.
The ceremony ends, and although you should be happy that you’ve graduated university, here you are, searching for your boyfriend. Your parents give you tight embraces and pecks on the cheek. But then you wonder, if you parents had fought for two spots on the airplane just to see you graduate, then Jungkook must have a better reason to explain why he can’t drive a few miles to see you.
“I’ll see you at the restaurant tomorrow,” you tell your parents. “You should get back to the hotel and get some rest, it’s been a long day.”
“Alright, sweetie.” Your father says as he reaches up from his seat to ruffle your hair. You wave them farewell as he rolls up his car window.
As their car disappears from the parking lot, you take it as your chance to hop into your car. There’s only one destination in mind. As you’re backing up from your parking space, you immediately slam on your brakes when you see Taehyung knocking on your window.
“Is there something wrong?” You ask Taehyung when you roll down the window, completely alarmed by his sudden presence. He immediately urges you to unlock the doors and he’s running over to the passenger’s seat.
“Drive.” He says, buckling his seatbelt and pulling out his phone to text someone.
“Drive? Drive where?” You’re completely confused. He looks like he’s fuming, his face red in anger. “Is everything alright?”
“You wouldn’t believe what Hoseok saw,” he finally says. His hands are balled into fists. “I’m going to beat the shit out of him—”
“What’s going on?”
“Just drive. I’ll give you the directions.”
“If you wanted to come over, you could’ve just asked.”
The both of you are parked outside of your apartment that you shared with Jungkook. Taehyung made you park behind a bush, completely hidden from the front door of your apartment building. Minutes later, you see a familiar car pull up and park. You squint your eyes in suspicion as you see Jungkook in the driver’s seat. Your eyes linger towards the passenger’s seat, and you swear you feel your blood run cold. Seated in the passenger’s seat is an unfamiliar woman, a woman you don’t think you’ve met before.
There’s an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach and it starts to bother you. Taehyung notices how your knuckles turn white from your tight grip on the steering wheel. The both of you watch how Jungkook leans over to her side, grabbing her cheeks and chastely kissing her lips.
Taehyung glances at you with concern. You take off your graduation cap, hopping out of the car before Taehyung could stop you. At the same exact time, Taehyung gets out of the car, running towards you before you could fall within Jungkook’s sight. Taehyung pulls you back when he gets a hold of your arm. You send Taehyung a death glare, but he’s too strong to let you go.
“Let me go,” you urge him and he doesn’t budge. “Taehyung! Let me go! I need to slap that bitch.”
“____, don’t act out on your strong emotions. I know you’re mad, but please, I don’t want you getting hurt. That woman might just hurt you. Just talk to Jungkook in private.”
You feel your eyes well up with tears of anger and sadness. “And you don’t think that I’m already hurt?”
You push Taehyung away from you. Glancing at Jungkook’s car, you watch Jungkook hand the woman a box. She opens the box and it reveals a necklace that’s oddly familiar to Taehyung. You scoff, angrily wiping your tears. Taehyung watches you as you make your way back to your car, hopping into the driver’s seat. As he reaches your car, he takes a seat beside you.
He hears muffled sobs.
Heading inside of your apartment, you kick off your heels and slam the door shut. You and Taehyung sat in your car for hours, waiting for the perfect time to come out of hiding. Jungkook didn’t seem to notice your arrival. You see him seated in front of his computer playing games.
“I’m home,” you announce, and he just nods his head. You sigh.
“Have you eaten yet?” He asks and you bite your lip.
“Taehyung and I missed our reservation,” you reply. “It ended late.”
It somehow dawns on him, and he’s immediately tearing his headphones off to look at you. He stares at you with realization, and you laugh bitterly. You toss your graduation cap onto the couch.
“I’m so sorry, I completely forgot.” He frustratingly runs his hands through his hair.
“It’s fine,” you mutter. “You always forget.”
As you head into your room to take off your graduation gown, you could hear Jungkook’s footsteps following you. When you reach your room, you slowly take off the gown. You stop, throwing the gown over your shoulder. You look at him.
“Since when?” You ask.
“What do you mean?” He questions.
You turn your back towards him, gently placing your gown onto the bed. “Since when did you start seeing her?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about—”
You laugh. “Don’t even try to lie, Jungkook. I saw it. I saw it all.”
He gulps nervously. “I can explain—”
“No, you can’t. You can’t explain, Jungkook.” You cut him off. “I should be mad at you right now, but because I love you so much, I can’t bring myself to it. So please, just spare me the pain and tell me, when did you start seeing her?”
“A couple of months ago.” He says just above a whisper.
“Doesn’t seem like a couple of months ago,” you shrug your shoulders. “But I’ll take it, even if it doesn’t make me feel a bit better.”
“We both saw this relationship ending, ____. Don’t even try to justify it.”
You finally face him, wiping your tears. “And you and I both know that I’ve been the only one that tried to save this relationship. Don’t try to justify it, you did nothing.”
“She makes me happy, ____.” He says and you feel your heart shatter. You used to make Jungkook happy. “And I haven’t been happy for a while.”
You shut your eyes, letting out a tiring sigh. “When did you run out of love for me?”
He doesn’t answer. You bite your lip to try to stop yourself from bursting out into sobs. When you finally open your eyes, you see Jungkook already putting his clothes into his duffle bags. As your eyes follow him around the room, your eyes stop at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot red, and you’ve never felt so vulnerable and insecure.
When his things are packed, you see him heading towards the door. His hand is on the doorknob, but he hesitates. He looks over his shoulder and sees you crying.
“I loved you, ____.” He reassures you. “I really did.”
You wipe your tears. “If you loved me, then could you at least tell me what I’m missing? What I’m lacking in?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes it as his cue to leave. You promised yourself not to let him see you break down, so once he’s finally out of sight, you feel your knees grow weak. You fall to the ground, bursting out into loud sobs.
You wish this was a nightmare.
You wonder when you’ll wake up from it.
author’s note | here you go, anon! i hope you liked it :-) i’ve started most of the drabble requests so they should be up pretty soon! if you’re interested in sending a request for a short drabble, check out my post on the drabble game for the rules and the lists of aus and prompts to choose from!
faunus-4-life answered your question “aaand it turns out there wasn’t a math homework set this week so…...”
ladybug, ex au
Sometimes it was like Blake’d never left. She’d come over, while Ruby was preparing stuff for the kids’ lessons and baking-it was never hard to guess what called her-and she’d help for the price of one or two spoonfuls of cookie dough, and they’d talk and tease and laugh like they used to.
But away from where Blake felt safest it was obvious how much had been lost in the battles she’d seen. The flashbacks and intense reactions-it was obvious to everyone who knew her, that a full support system was needed.
CHAPTER SEVEN: THE BEST YEARS
paring: ex!bucky barnes x reader
warnings: ANGST, anxiety mentions, guns, blood,
series summary: bucky realizes one can only run from their problems for so long before they must returns home but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting her to be there when he did.
word count: 1.1k
a/n: sorry this came out so late guys!! this series is based off the album “calm” by 5sos. if you want to follow along in the album, listen to “Best Years” while reading this! thanks for supporting the series! i really love you guys! let me know what you think of the series!
series masterlist // masterlist
Your trembling hands ran through his hair one last time before finally shoving your ex out the door, back into the training room. The thumping from your chest shook each bone thoroughly. Your reflection in the glass frightened you slightly as you caught the aftermath of the chaotic event, noting your smudged lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara. The compact mirror in your purse, an old restaurant napkin, and your favorite lipstick were all you had to re-assemble your previous look. You gently wiped the smudges clean off your face and regained what appeared to be professional composure, taking a gentle seat back into your chair and trying to resume your job. The adrenaline from your encounter still coursed through your veins feverishly as you struggled to jot simple notes onto the evaluation sheet. With each passing minute, you grew more and more frustrated with yourself at falling victim to Bucky Barnes again. He had taken over your mind again and refused to give it back. The PA sounded, calling all recruits and team leaders to the cafeteria. A slight relief washed over you as you quickly gathered your recruits and dropped them off, signaling the end of your day again. Like clockwork, you dropped your report off to Pepper and for the second night, changing into pajamas and cuddling up on the couch with your favorite book was your plan. Unfortunately, Bucky Barnes and his wonderful lips stole any peaceful plans you had for the night from you. Curled into the back corner of the couch, your eyes scanned over each line again and again but your mind was preoccupied. You couldn't help noting the light bruises that littered your hips when you slid into your sweatpants or the ache of your scalp as you threw your hair into a bun. Yet, you missed the violently sweet nature of his touch, the pulling of hair and the death grip on your hips. It was very early in your relationship you had realized he held very tightly onto things he was scared of losing. You wrapped your large gray blanket around your pleasantly aching form and opened your bedroom door, letting the cool air from your balcony hit your tense body. Instantly your muscles relaxed under the cleansing moonlight and you set the blanket down across the marble flooring, finding a spot across it. Your eyes scanned the night sky as you took a moment to relive the encounter again, like a giddy high schooler. The gentle knock at your door gathered your attention. Walking across the room, you opened the door to a slightly disheveled Bucky. “Do you have a minute?”
“Bucky? What time i- uh, I mean yeah… yeah, come it” you blushed, opening the door further. Your heart melted as soon as your eyes met his and any request he made, you knew you would follow. Leading him back to the blanket, you couldn't help but recall the endless nights the two of you had spent on the very balcony you now found yourselves sitting on. You were drawn from your thoughts as he cleared his throat.
“Look, I just wanted to let you know that, I-uh- ended things with Camilla and she booked a ticket home. I was going to tell you in the morning but-” he paused, letting out an awkward chuckle before continuing. “I needed to- well, tell you this. Not a single moment passes without you being on my mind. You are my every dream and thought and while it breaks my heart, I wouldn't give them up for the world. I realized how much time I have wasted so much time on people who look, talk, and act like you, in denial that I had lost the only woman I had ever loved. I-”
“Buck-”
“No Y/N, listen. I remember every single moment we have shared and I loved every single second of it, even the fights and the long distance, because I would rather be doing it with you than anyone else. If you decide you have room in your heart to give me a second chance, I swear I will give you the best life doll. Every single moment of the rest of my life will be spent cherishing you. I will completely understand and will graciously accept my place beside you as a friend if that's what you want but, I just wanted you to know that… I lo-”
Before he could finish, the small bullet that whipped over your shoulder ripped into his chest. Your throat expelled a scream that shook the earth around you. Your body trembled as your weak limbs scurried over to his body, pulling him inside and out of harm's way. Tears flew down your face in forceful torrents as your hands desperately tried to stop the blood that seeped over them. His voice wavered slightly as he tried to reassure you, “Y/N, doll, i-its ok.”
People began flying through your doors as it became clear what had happened. People swarmed around you and onto the balcony as you tried to memorize every detail of his face. The med staff put him on a stretcher, they instructed you to hold the pressure until they could get to the medical ward and see what was happening internally. You climbed on the stretcher above him, begging your shaking body to hold still for him. His eyes began to draw closed as you pleaded to him, “James, stay with me love, I’m right here, stay with me.” A light grumble left his lips as you continued, “ Remember, you promised me the best years James. We’ll dance at our wedding to that Bessie Smith song your mom loved a-and tell our kids all about our first date where you had to pose for photos the whole time,” you said with a broken chuckle. Tears and blood had completely soaked your hands when you entered the medical room. His bloody mouth elicited a small chuckle. “W-we’ll name ‘em Sam and Steve right?” he said, as a cough littered the silver table with more of his blood. “Of course my love,” you smiled as tears flowed freely down your face. The medical team instructed you to remove your hands and you stumbled back into Steve who pulled you out of the room. As the doors swung behind you, you collapsed into the blonde as sobs raked through your entire body before you completely blacked out.
CHAPTER SIX: WILDFLOWER
Paring: ex!Bucky barnes x reader
Warnings: swearing, cheating, almost smutty near the end if you squint
Series Summary: Bucky realizes one can only run from their problems for so long before they must returns home but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting her to be there when he did.
Word Count: 2.6k
A/N: this series is based off the album “calm” by 5sos. if you want to follow along in the album, listen to Wildflower while reading this! thanks for supporting the series! i really love you guys! let me know what you think of the series!
series masterlist // masterlist
The blush that sat on your face sank deep into your skin as you lost your color. Bucky took note of your sudden change and concern captained his face. “Y/N… you ok?”
“Bucky...Y-you lied to me?”
“Y/N, what are yo-”
“You lied to me about last night Buck,” you sighed, hiding your face into your nervous hands. His head grew heavy with responsibility as it dropped with an exhale before he placed his hand on your knee and gathered your attention.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I should have said something. I just figured since you didn't remember it, well”, his hand momentarily left your leg as he ran it across the back of his neck. “I just figured that you didn't want to…”
Before you could start, he quickly continued. “Look at me,” Following his queue, your silent eyes lifted to meet his. “I don’t know what you remember, but I was absolutely sober. I meant every word that left my lips even if you didn’t. That being said, we just fell into a little bit of normalcy and I really don't want to lose that Y/N.” He searched your face anxiously for a response.
You looked down at your newly tied sneakers with a small grin. “I forgive you bucky, but I need you t-”
Fury’s sharp voice interrupted yours as it rang over the PA system on the course, “All recruits and essential personnel need to hurry their asses up into this building, we have reports of a storm coming our way and it does not look pretty.”
Other agents holding clipboards began walking faster as they made their way inside, encouraging you and Bucky to do the same. As you got into the building, even more agents filtered through you.
“Hey, Steve’s on his way over... look, why don’t I meet you after we all get settled and have dinner? Like 7ish?” he smiled.
You smiled back as you tried to control the butterflies that took over your stomach. “Y-yeah, sounds good.” He was quickly swept away by the blonde super soldier who was walking towards the conference room at a timely pace. You headed toward Tony’s office, taking a minute to process the events of the last hour or so. You had managed to lose yourself, replaying the dream-like encounter in your mind on loop, before reaching your destination. You shook the feeling off and allowed your knuckles to rap gently on the door's glass surface as Tony opened the door at the same time, almost trampling you in the process.
“Yea- wait no. just hold that till i get there. I’ll be- oh hey Y/N! Greg, give me a second, I’m on my way to the conference room now” he said before flipping his earpiece off. “Here to accompany me to the training briefing?” he laughed.
“Actually, I just wanted to hand off my paperwork. I need to help Pepper with the schedule for tomorrow,” you smiled warmly before grabbing the top few pages from your clipboard and extending them toward him.
“Oh right! Have fun and tell Mrs. Potts, she looks fabulous for me,” he smirked, taking the clipboard from your hands. You let a chuckle fall from your mouth as you passed him, heading towards Pepper’s office, only a few strides away.
Again, you found your knuckles knocking on a glass door as Pepper invited you in. “Y/N! It’s great to see you! Whatcha got for me?”
You handed her your clipboard and the remaining papers on it, “I made a list of possible sparring partners with the assistance of Sergeant Barnes during the evaluation which include estimated time based on skill level. It’s a rough outline and doesn’t include instruction time but it's a start” you smiled.
“God, you are the best!” she groaned in relief, flipping through the pages of your detailed work. “Way smarter than any of the other meatheads conducting evaluation,” she laughed before placing the clipboard on the desk and grabbing another. “I managed to get a lot done during the course training so I really don’t need much else. Could you just put this on Tony’s desk when you pass his office?”
You nodded, grabbing the new paper work before pausing, “Oh! Also Tony told me to let you know how fabulous you look,” you giggled, exiting the room and dropping the papers on Tony’s desk next door. After leaving a note that it was from Pepper, you glanced down at your watch and smiled at the timely end to your day.
You found yourself leisurely wandering to your room, dropping your work of the day at the door then closing it behind you when you finally arrived. Your hands found the wooden knobs of your dresser, pulling it open then sorting through your neatly folded pajamas in an attempt to finally get comfortable. Landing on the black t-shirt that your hands now rested on, you slid off your tight leggings and revealing sweatshirt, throwing on the oversized garment in their place. You asked Friday to play some background music as you grabbed a book off the shelf that sat next to your bed before finding a seat on the long gray couch that adorned your back wall.
Lost in the annotated pages of your favorite novel, the rain that thumped on your window added to the wonderful soundtrack your room emitted as you began to sink back into the familiar life you held here before you left. The time had escaped your mind until a soft knock thumped at your door. Your heart picked up drastically as you glanced at your watch again, this time denoting 7:00. He was punctual if nothing else.
You opened the door gently and welcomed the tall brunette in with a small nod, “Sergeant..” you giggled.
“Ma’m” he laughed back with a small bow before making his way into your room and reclining across your previously occupied couch. His eyes glanced over your bare legs drawing a light blush to your cheeks as you sat next to him, curling up into the corner of the gray loveseat. The comfort you had earlier in the day decreased at the lack of people around you as he started, “So you were saying something earlier.. You wanted something?”
The smile on his face infected your heart with warmth causing your body to shiver. “Y-yeah… I just wanted to know what happened last night… I mean I know what happened but I also, uh, well don’t and I know you would have never done a-anything like that but uhm..” you chuckled nervously, letting the hands that were on your knees fall down your smooth legs in an attempt to find any comfort hidden in this situation.
His hand met yours as he assured, “Nothing happened, I promise. There were some heated words exchanged and, uhm” he cleared his throat before you cut him off with a chuckle.
“No Buck, I-I know... “ you pointed to the now poorly covered hickey, letting your eyes fall to the ground with a small smile on your face. “I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't missing anything crucial.”
“Of course…” he said with a smile, standing up and offering you a hand. You grabbed his hand and he gently pulled you up from your seat, bringing your faces a little too close for your comfort.
“Nothing more happened than a mistake. I-I’m sure it won’t happen again” you mumbled, quickly becoming consumed in his eyes.
A cheeky grin danced onto his face as the gap between you seemed to be closing at an alarming rate. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
As you held the distance, centimeters from his face, you quickly cracked under the heavy blush that sat on your cheeks and stepped back in a sheepish manor, quickly dropping his hand and opening the door.
“Sargent,” you nodded, this time your eyes not leaving the floor.
“Ma’m.” A blush found itself on his smiling cheeks before he finally exited the room.
As you closed the door, you sank to the floor, holding your hands to your wildly beating heart.
You were made.
•••
The night passed quickly and it wasn't long before you found yourself in the gymnasium of the training hall, present for the next phase of recruitment week. The groups were divided by skill level and prospects were matched by Pepper using your scouting report.
Director Fury led the mornings commencements, taking his rightful place upon the platform at the front of the room. “Ok listen up. We are going to start dividing into groups, pay attention and follow orders or consider yourself cut. Howell, Barker, Morton, Hale, Preston. You have been assigned to Agents Romanoff and Barton, please follow your evaluator, Agent Rooney to the training room. Cole, Duran, Gonzales, Sims, Fields. You have been assigned to Agents Rogers and Barnes, please follow your evaluator Miss. Y/L”
As continued to give instructions, you raised your arm with a smile and waved, gathering the attention of the prospects who swiftly found their spots in front of you. Turning around, you began reading off the script while leading them out of the main gym.
“All right recruits, if you would follow me this way I will be taking you to an offshoot of the training facility. These rooms will be occupied by you and your instructors while I observe your progress and take notes on your performance. You will each battle in hand to hand combat and receive basic corrections from your instructors. This test is about strength and coordination just as much as your ability to receive criticism and be coached,” you paused, stopping in front of a black door. “This is where you will enter momentarily. In the event of an emergency, we will make a right here to return to the hallway we just came from, then another right to return to the main gym. When we enter, you will find a seat against the back wall and your instructors will be in to meet you briefly. Does anybody have any questions?” The small group all shook their heads in response. “Great, good luck!” you smiled, opening the door and letting them inside. Black walls encased the small room and the only illumination was found hanging above the giant white circle that laid upon the center of the black mats. You peeled off through the other door lining the walls and were greeted by two smiling faces upon entering.
“Did you scare ‘em?” Steve laughed as he and Bucky passed you.
You winked before giggling,“Only a little.”
The boys entered the room, giving a very similar speech to you before calling up the first match. You watched through the one way mirror as Daniel Cole, a tall brunette built like a steam roller and Alexa Gonzales, a small brunette with an athletic build, took their places on the edge of the circle. They quickly entangled themselves, Alexa mercilessly placing hits on him with her unbelievable agility until she found herself suddenly pinned under the much bigger Daniel.
“That was a really great job Alexa. You had him on the ropes but he managed to grab your arm. Can anybody tell me what shifted the momentum here?” Steve paused. Met with silence he continued, “With you being so much smaller than him, you can't do the normal reversal here which leaves you open to the arm bar he caught you in. Uh, let me- Y/N? Can you come here for a second?” Steve called through the glass. You tried to call back, quickly remembering the room was he couldn't hear you through the soundproof walls. You got up quickly and peaked your head through the door.
“How can I help?” you offered with a smile.
“Can you demo an arm bar reversal on Bucky for them step by step I can walk them through it?”
You nodded as you laid down on the mat, allowing Bucky to lock you in the arm bar and Steve to begin. “So with his legs significantly longer than her arms, she can't reconnect her hands to pull herself up,” he paused prompting you to move into your next position. “Instead, she bridges her shoulders off the ground and rotates, pulling herself under his leg then up and over as opposed to..” his words quickly faded away as you laid on top of Bucky. You could feel his heavy breath on your neck as you held the position, desperate for Steve to say break. As if he could read your mind he speech quickly stopped causing you to jump to your feet and offer a hand to Bucky, eventually pulling him up.
You disappeared back into the eval room more breathless and red in the face then you’d like to admit. As they continued their instruction, you found it harder and harder to maintain your composure with Bucky demonstrating throw after throw. It drove you mad watching him do what he does best and your close contact didn't help your growing want for him. As Steve handed out correction after correction, Bucky became quieter, eventually pulling Steve in and mumbling something in his ear. Steve nodded with a smile before Bucky began walking towards your door.
He slipped into the room and gently closed the door behind him.
“Hey, do you need any help with eval?” Walking behind you, he peeked over your shoulder to read your notes and his closeness burned through your hold body.
Without thinking, you turned your head and connected your lips to his. He quickly broke the kiss, shock written on his face through his raised eyebrows and slightly agape mouth.
You braced yourself for the cold rejection you knew too well but much to your surprise, he pulled you up, connecting your lips again. His hands slammed roughly into your hips as he lifted you up prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. He carried you towards the door, flipping the lock before practically slamming your back into the dark wall behind you. Your teeth caught his bottom lip, drawing a groan from his slightly swollen lips, before breaking quickly to pull off your shirts. He released a quiet needy whine at the absence of your lips but was muted by them smashing into his again. Your hands ran down his chest as he put your feet on the ground and trapped your body against the wall with his large arms, opting to continue his kisses down the side of your neck. His hands ran the sides of your body feverishly, reacquainting him with the details that he had desperately tried to forget over the past year and a half. Your lips then connected with his neck, reliving memories of your own as you gently began to gently suck and nibble at his sweet spot, being careful not to leave a hickey.
“God, you are the only one who fucking does that right,” he groaned before your lips met again. His hands slid down your waist and on to your ass as he squeezed hard enough for you to know there would be a bruise in the morning. He then moved his kiss down to your collarbone and gently bit down. Your hand found his shoulder as you lightly pushed him back, leaning for a last kiss before breaking all contact between you.
“You don’t get to leave marks if I can’t Buck....” you said softly, scooting under his arm and throwing your t-shirt back on. You tossed him his shirt next and as he slid it on over his confused face you unlocked the door, propping it open slightly. You grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door before, your hand found his now clothed chest.
You pressed up onto your tippy toes to reach his ear, “I can't be a side piece Sarge and you know that. If you decide to end it with the girlfriend, then you can mark me up. Any way you want,” you whispered before fixing his disheveled hair and fully opening the door.
CHAPTER TWO: NO SHAME
PAIRING: ex!Bucky barnes x reader
Warnings: Swearing
Series Summary: Bucky realizes one can only run from their problems for so long before they must returns home but he sure as hell wasn't expecting her to be there when he did.
Word count: 1.2k
A/N: This Series is based off the Album “Calm” by 5sos. If you want to follow along in the album, listen to No Shame while reading this!
Series masterlist // Masterlist Coming soon
New York provided no shade from the bright lights of fame despite your relocation from LA. Every time your foot exited your new apartment building in Manhattan, camera flashing swarmed your vision like bloodthirsty hornets. Equally unrelenting were the men holding them, often shouting crude and vicious rumors to get a reaction. It came with the life you were gifted. Being as close to Tony as you were, fame crept behind you constantly, hiding in the deep recesses of alleys and buildings you passed. It wasn't anything you chose, far from it actually. Somehow you went from humble uni student to famous confidant of Tony Stark.
It is true he took you under his wing, but it wasn't your fault he viewed you as his own daughter. Yet despite this, you were the one who had to deal with the fallout of it. The paparazzi, the vicious fans, the lack of privacy. A bit of you reveled in it because occasionally, it was nice to be the center of attention. Occasionally. You were lucky that Tony set you up with a lovely PR team, predicting the outcome of the growing friendship between the two of you. This meant you were trained for these things. The paps, the interviews, the tours. It is what came with the life. At least that's what you kept repeating to yourself as you put on a brave face and walked through the crowd with a gracious confidence and a kind smile, surrounded by brute security who did not mirror your compassion for those around you. As soon as you collapsed in the car, the smile fell from your face faster than Icarus fell from the sky. Fittingly too. It wasn't too long ago you had true happiness. Being lifted from a less than glamorous life and shoved into the spotlight had its perks. Having a team with you wherever you went meant you were never hungry or worrying about paying rent or struggling to pay off student loans. But when you fly too close to the sun….
“Hey Max, would you mind turning on some music?”
“Of course Miss. Y/N” His hand momentarily left the wheel to turn on the radio and returned just as quickly. Swells of some band you didn't quite know filled the all-to-empty compartment of a vehicle meant for 6. Opening your phone, you swiped through social media until you arrived at the compound. Max opening his front door triggered a fake smile upon your face as he wrapped around the car to let you out. Your hand was taken by Max and your Sophia Webster heel graced the pavement of the compound driveway as you exited the car, poise dripping from your every movement. This facade was dropped immediately when you entered the safety of the compound doors. Immediately taking off your heels, you quickly lost Max at the door and quickly moved to the safety of your room to avoid any unnecessary interactions. Collapsing into your prestigiously decorated room, you found a pair of leggings and a loose tank top to change into. You were home momentarily but you couldn't let that make you lazy and unpracticed according to the schedule your PR team sent you.
5:45am - Arrive at Compound
6:00am - Yoga in Training Studio
7:00am - Breakfast
7:25am - Meeting with Mr. Stark to Review notes
8:45am - Nail fill
And the list droned on and on until too late in the evening for your taste. You groaned, grabbing your yoga mat at its designated corner and burying your head in your phone, looking for a playlist to suit your next hour. Sliding in your headphones and clicking on the closet album, your bare feet quickly and quietly pattered down the hallway before you collided with someone significantly taller than you causing your phone and yoga mat to drop rather dramatically on the floor. Removing your ear buds, you froze reaching for your belongings as a laugh rang in your ears. “Here, let me help you wi-... Y/N?”His blue eyes pierced your heart as they met yours, at a distance too close for your liking. You could feel the color draining from your face like paint peeling from a wall. A wash of nausea hit you at full force, almost knocking you off your feet. Your eyes searched for an escape plan as time slowed around you and there it was in, its full body guard glory.
“Max! I’m over here!” The suit-clad man popped his head out from the crowd of identically dressed cronies and a look of relief washed across his middle-aged face. He quickly rushed toward your position, parting Bucky from you like Moses had the red sea. The same relief grabbed hold of your face as his little squad surrounded you, escorting you to the studio.
“Miss. Y/N, You know you're not supposed to leave my sight! I’m supposed to make sure you stick to your schedule and you don't make it very easy” You pushed a chuckle from your lips as you peered over your shoulder to the super soldier frozen in the middle of the hallway.
“If it was easy, everyone would do it Max,” you once again tried to play along, struggling to gain any sort of emotional footing under you.
•••
You could feel them looking at you despite you being the only one in the studio. The downside to the plan you had concocted was you couldn't escape the gaggle of security placed on you. It was infuriating that you were an adult and yet, you still found yourself surrounded by babysitters. To be fair, you weren’t known to handle stress very well and seeing he was back, you now understand why you had Max and his friends glued to your side this morning.
You exited the studio a tad more relaxed than when you entered. Your shoulders dropped a bit lower and a small smile found itself upon your face. “Alright Max, whats next?”
“Miss. Y/N, your breakfast has been prepared downstairs. You only have 25 min-”
“Max, I’ve told you… I can fend for myself ok?” you sighed, a small smile still on your face because you knew he was well-intentioned. You were welcomed to the sight of a large, hearty breakfast consisting of an assortment of organic and nutritious delights. While you would have rather sported a doughnut this morning, you were thankful you had people who cared for you this much. “Ok Max, I need you to get lost and let me enjoy myself while I’m home ok? I know it's your job so how about you walk me to where I’m supposed to be? Fair?”
“Miss. Y/N, You know I’m not supp-”
“Come onnnnn, Max! Please!”
The exasperated whine apparently struck a chord on his heartstrings because he agreed to your terms if his team watched you on the cameras.You took your bowl full of fruit back to your room and collapsed on your wonderful, wonderful bed. Your phone vibrated in your pocket as you flipped on the tv.
Bucky: I didn't know you were going to be here...We should talk?
Your heart dropped into your stomach and even the small amount of fruit you consumed seemed to spoil in your stomach.
CHAPTER THREE: OLD ME
PAIRING: ex!Bucky barnes x reader
WARNINGS: swearing
SERIES SUMMARY: Bucky realizes one can only run from their problems for so long before they must returns home but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting her to be there when he did.
WORD COUNT: 1k
A/N: this series is based off the album “calm” by 5sos. if you want to follow along in the album, listen to old me while reading this! This chapter was hard af to write so forgive me if its not my best!
series masterlist // masterlist
“Here, let me help you wi-... Y/N?”
Her face dropped immediately and fear momentarily took hold of her once bright eyes.
“Max! I’m over here!” Her obvious cry for help left him speechless. He had been thinking about the possibility of running into her but that was not the reaction he expected to face when he came toe to toe with his past. The gaggle of suited men pushed past him, engulfing her in a sea of black ties, leaving him cast away and alone in the middle of the hallway. He tried to catch another sight of the girl he once knew but she was completely buried. A chill ran down his spine before he knocked a little sense into himself, regaining his composure and picking his jaw up from the floor. His thoughts ran untamed through his mind for the first time in a long time and he hated it. He wondered why the girl he had seen just then didn't look like the girl he regularly kept tabs on in the papers, what she was doing here, and if she was wondering about him.
His mind had put on autopilot and before he could realize where he was going, he soon found himself in his own bedroom for the second time today. He shook off the thoughts and he found a seat at his desk, his eyes training on the old photos that lined the surface. A small laugh of content filled the room around him as he examined the first framed picture on the sandalwood tabletop. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. Bucky's arm was wrapped around Steve as they entered the dance hall and the night ended with him taking home a girl named Sophia, Steve being left to deal with her very unhappy sister.
The photo next to it was him and Nat at her birthday party from 4 years ago. This time he left with a different girl who was better than any girl he had met in the years prior. Her smile filled up a room with rays of sunshine and when she entered a room, awe grasped those around her. Often, those who witnessed her continued to watch her through the night, desperate for another dose of her beauty. He remembered the warmth that engulfed him when he was with her which is why his heart broke at her coldness earlier today. Was it his doing? It had to be.
As guilt crawled up his back, he pulled out his cell phone and typed out a message.
Bucky: I didn't know you were going to be here...We should talk?
Almost instantly after he sent it, those three dots appeared.
Y/n: Sorry for my reaction earlier, you just surprised me that's all!
Upon receiving the response, he released a breath he didn't realize he was holding.
Bucky: oh ok… I just wanted to make sure you were ok.
Y/N: yup all good, I have to go, i'm on quite the schedule. We’ll talk later.
His heart raised a bit, noting her shift in mood a little. It wasn't too long ago that they sat in the courtyard and talked for hours under the stars. His phone vibrated, this time at the fault of his best friend.
Steve: Hey, We are about to have a meeting for the upcoming week, why don't you come and join us? We are meeting in the Coulson wing conference hall
A lighthearted chuckle left his lips as he confirmed his attendance and got dressed into something a bit more socially acceptable for a meeting. Upon entering the conference room, he was immediately engulfed in a hug by Wanda.
“Hey Tin Man! We missed you!” She smiled, pulling him into a seat next to hers. “You’ll have to tell us everything! You’ve been living in France? Or was it Italy? What have you been doing over there? What's the weather like?”
The warm smile was reflected on his face as well as he caught up with the old friend waiting for Tony.
Walking in fashionably late as always, he was trailed by a shadow in the shape of Y/N. Her hair, nails, and outfit were perfectly styled as always and she held a glow to her persona. This was the girl he recognized from the papers.
“Hey everybody, thanks for taking some time out of your busy days. Today isss.. uhhh…”
“It's Thursday Tony” y/n chirped in before returning to her phone.
“Yes! Right! Tomorrow, Friday evening, we will be having a welcome banquet to properly kick off the festivities and I expect everyone to be in their best wear. The new recruits will be there and it will be a great chance to get a feeling for them and who meshes well with the team. Saturday will be the trainees attempting to conquer the course outback, Sunday will be interrogation techniques, and finally Sunday we will have our sparring matches. Score cards will be attached to the email Pepper’s gonna send out along with agent assignments. Does anyone have any questions?”
The room remained quiet as Tony scanned the room. “Great, everyone have a great day and, uh, welcome back barnes” he smiled.
Y/N was the first out of the room and as the rest filtered out behind her, Steve approached Bucky pulling him into his side.
“Wanna go touch up on your sparring technique so a recruit doesn’t embarrass you?” Steve quipped eliciting a scoff from Bucky.
“If you don't mind losing, I’ll spar” he laughed back, shoving his shoulder.
As they were heading to the gym, one of the guards approached and stopped them in their tracks. “Mr. Barnes? You have a visitor.”
A confused furrow caught the faces of the dynamic duo as they changed course and headed toward the entrance.
“Bucky!” a squeal filled the opening chamber of the compound and a small brunette jumped into the very unsuspecting Barnes.
