Man, some people really enjoy being skinny and being fit… But honestly- I don’t. I know I’m at an unhealthy weight right now but no matter how much I lose I will always be considered obsese or overweight. When I do lose weight I will choose to be much “heavier” than I was when I did it in high school. The smallest numbers I ever saw on the scale were 153lbs. I will NEVER weigh that again and I’m VERY happy about that! Of course I’m not 100% happy with where my body is now but I can appreciate it because when I look in the mirror I see a woman- not a girl. I see a young women with morals and beliefs and accomplishments. I see a young woman who doesn’t crave anyone’s acceptance or approval. When I was skinny that’s all I was after. But bless my young heart bc I didn’t know any better. I am too big now- but I’ll get back down. For now I am still very flexible- I can do yoga and have accomplished heads stands and hand stands when other smaller people in my former yoga classes could not even do them. My point it: there are a lot of things in life right now that prevent me from being as happy as I could be- but just because I am thick, I am large, and I am bigger than my boyfriend- don’t assume that is one of them! He met me at about 175/180lbs and actuslly probably gives me more attention love and affection then he did then. He showed me that it wasn’t about my weight that determined whether or not I had someone to have sex with, over the last 5.5 years he has shown me that it is about so much more. Genuinity, connection, love, honesty, protection, forgiveness, kindness.
So like I said, many people want to be skinny and think being skinnier will make them happier- but I ain’t one of them ❤️😊.
note: this is not meant to offend or insult anyone- I was merely looking at old photos of myself and realizing how much inner turmoil I was dealing with but how that didn't matter to those around me because I looked good. It seems like people are often surprised by my goals and outlook on life when i open up to them- and that shouldn't be because they think I'm fat and that that's a bad thing and that no fat person could be happy. My own realizations here.
