#excath

[fanboy-feminist]

[whiterosezines]

My brother randomly got this fire and brimstone newspaper in the mail so I decided to make some collages.

[the-winds-indecision]

Said Cain to his mother, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

Eve kneels in front of him, the boy barely old enough to understand what he is asking. Takes his face in her hand, looks him in the eye.

"Yes."

He must watch out for his younger brother, must keep him safe, must teach him how to be a boy, must make sure he knows how to pray and how to find his way home (though, to Cain, they are one and the same). He smiles at the boy who toddles behind him through the garden, mud up to his knees and elbows, smudged across his nose. This boy has his heart - he would be his brother's keeper even without his mother's word.

The first time Cain finds himself with Abel's blood on his hands, he doesn't know what to do. Abel lies bleeding in the garden - his knee is skinned and the blood is everywhere - it seeps into the soil and stains the stone and it is so sticky and red on Cain's hands as he cries for his mother.

Cain cries as Eve bandages Abel. He is still crying when Abel runs back outside to play in the garden. Cain is his brother's keeper. He should have been keeping a closer eye on his brother, should have told him to be careful, should have run slower, should have --

The rocks in the garden dig into his knees as he prays forgiveness. It feels right. It feels deserved. He stays out there until the ground is cold, the blood long since dried, and long after his mother has called him in for dinner.

* * * * *

Said Cain to his father, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

His father's back is turned but Cain can almost hear Adam roll his eyes.

"Yes."

Abel is a young man now, and almost never home. It is somehow Cain's job to know his brother's whereabouts, Cain's job to make sure his brother is home for dinner, Cain's job to ease his mother's mind when his brother is out after dark or before sunrise. Cain is, after all, his brother's keeper.

Cain has never known what it means to be a boy, to be a man, yet he has taught his brother without fail. He, however, has only ever known what it means to be the older brother. He knows that when his fathers feet ache, it is his job to pull the plow. When Eve tends the hearth until she collapses with fever it is his job to work in her stead. And his job to care for his mother as she rests.

When Abel comes home bloodied, his mother cries and his father scolds. Cain simply sighs, and hangs a pot of water over the fire. Pulls out the scrap cloth and soap. Abel grins as he regales his brother with the day’s adventure.  Doesn’t notice that the only response is a smile and a tired nod. 

Cain is the last person awake that night - tired body slumped by the dying fire as he washes his brother’s blood from his hands for the hundredth time. Cain is, after all, his brother’s keeper.

* * * * *

The last time Cain has Abel’s blood on his hands, he doesn’t know what to do.  Just stands still, sways in the breeze, watches as the blood paints the stones, paints the soil, paints his hands.  There is so much blood on his hands.  Cain knows he cannot hide from his Lord.  There is only so much time until he is pressed for a reason.  He should think - he should know what he is to say. 

He just stands there.  

Cain doesn’t know who he is without Abel.  He is - he was his brother’s keeper.  If not the older brother, who is he anymore?

It is not long before the footsteps approach and a voice sounds from behind.  Cain dares not turn to meet the gaze of the speaker.

"And where, Cain, is your brother?"

Said Cain to his Lord, "am I my brother's keeper?" and for the first time -

"No."

[levi-unpacks-purity-culture]

anti-lent sex-ed sunday #1

this post is part of the 40 day s of anti-lent posting that i'm doing on my main @the-winds-indecision - feel free to follow along there as well!

okay my first suggestion is to get familiar with your downstairs anatomy.  lock yourself in the bathroom or your bedroom with a hand mirror and actually take a look.  to some of you this might sound silly, but the church filled me with such sexual shame that i didn’t actually take a proper look at my own anatomy until i was almost 18.  not groovy.  so grab a mirror and poke around.  learn what you look like from as many different angles as you can manage.  if you have sufficient internet privacy, consider googling “anatomical diagram of *insert genitalia here* and look for a trustworthy medical website in the general search results.  part of the way the church exerts control is by restricting knowledge, but once you have that knowledge, it can’t be taken away

[positivelyatheist-old]

[the-winds-indecision]

if i were to make a 40 antilent daily suggestions type thing, would y'all be interested in that? i think it'd be fun

lent is coming up next month (starting on valentines day, gross) and i kinda wanna make a 40 anti lent suggestions post

[the-winds-indecision]

anti-lent day 1

ash wednesday is both the first official day of lent (yuck) and a day of fasting so we're gonna start out small and inconspicuous

inconspicuous: make yourself a hot drink that feels indulgent.  get out the good tea or make your hot chocolate with milk or sweeten your coffee with maple syrup or whatever you like.  once it’s in your mug, chances are nobody’s gonna notice anything.

defiant: forget the fasting guidelines entirely.  eat a meal (ideally a hearty one, but even a sandwich will do) that has meat.  have dessert.  treat yourself to a meal/dessert out if you have the money and it won’t raise any eyebrows at home.  this is hard. i know.  my first time breaking the fast deliberately i ate one piece of salami and then i had to consciously avoid praying for forgiveness the rest of the day.  so don’t worry if it’s hard, or if you can’t do as much as you’d like

[the-winds-indecision]

anti-lent day 3

fridays for my family always involved food-oriented fasting, so in this list i’ll likely keep the food theme.  today, it’s about preparing food in advance as a kindness to your future self

easier: make yourself a toss-together meal for tomorrow. this is something extremely simple like throwing some oats and milk and sugar into a bowl, then putting it in the fridge overnight for overnight oatmeal, or opening a couple cans of beans and tomatoes and pouring them into a slow-cooker with some ground beef/turkey for chilli.  low effort now, good food later

medium: make yourself a balanced lunch for tomorrow.  i know, i know, it’s friday, so a lot of you aren’t working/going to school tomorrow, but you can use this suggestion on any day you like, or do it now, just for the hell of it.  i like to make my fav sandwich (rye bread, turkey, mayo, garlic salt, onion, and apple) and put it in my lunchbag with a pickle, the rest of the apple i used, and a soy-yogurt (dairy allergy)

high effort: try meal prepping if it’s not something you’re used to doing.  spend an evening or afternoon preparing meals for a few days that will just need to be reheated, and make sure they’re nutritionally balanced - for me, that looks like making sure i’ve got all 4 food groups on my plate.  i try not to look into nutrition beyond that because it starts to tug at some of my old disordered eating tendencies