#excerptsfromthebackburner

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

i love the possibility of the morning. the aroma of a hot coffee and the refreshing wind and the sunrise that bask the innocent skies, like the yesterdays were washed away and a brand new day starts hopefully. i like the beautiful glimpse of sunlight that reflects the leaves, and my face, as if it's caressing my soul. i love the morning rain and how the sunrise kissed the dewdrops on leaves, a cry of the dawn and a hope of a better day.

- Sailer, September 25, 2025

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

the feeling of bathing under the morning sun. the fierce connection through simple and stealing glances and mysterious smiles in the afternoon. islands and a floor away. chattering on screens - words flow out like the wind. and i hope that this feeling is not like a flowing wind, but a feeling where i can run on the coastline under the mild heat of the sun with the summer breeze kissing my cheeks, where i can rest under the shade of the tree while the wind is swaying my curly hair, where i can admire the changing scenes of the seasons and the weather and the wide expanse of blue skies and blue ocean. i hope this may stay for long - the flame, the warmth, the peace, and if only it will last. it will last.

- Sailer, January 8, 2024

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

i already left. so long, you're no longer a muse. not even a muse from the start but a wicked being that sapped my energy. you clouded me with darkness and i chose the that lifeline to live in my own terms. so long, you are not part of my present anymore, no llingering shadows. it has been extinguished, slowly and in a matter of time. your damages may still etched but it wouldn't stay long - rusty and no longer matters. a scar that reminded me of a past that no longer holds my present. so long. goodbye. i'm leaving you.

- Sailer, January 8, 2025

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

The scars were permanently etched in the recesses of my brain, always there looming in the dark, getting its chance to reach the surface of my conscious mind. A haunting nostalgia I barely escape. Here I am, clutching to the dear life I'm running away from, letting the waves carried me to the depths of that lurking dark waters. You're a thunder and lighting that put me on the edge in swift seconds, and I'm tired of my selves reliving you on pages when you're dead to me — a ghost. Remnants of yesterday.

— Sailer, July 18, 2023

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

Devour me whole completely at midnights — no stoplights.

— Sailer, July 18, 2023

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

Small Things Matter

As I contemplate about the intricacies of the universe, I found myself thinking about the phenomenal events that took place on Earth - changing or transforming our lives. But there small things that can change a life's trajectory. They may feel appreciated when you speak to them gently, acknowledging their emotions. You can save the Earth by bringing that eco-bag you handcrafted that Sunday afternoon. You can make a positive impact to stray animals you adopted. You can be someone who can inspire the people around you. The light you have may spread to others who are walking under the heaviest clouds of their lives.

We may aim for bigger things but we forgot that smaller things can make an impact to somebody. Your smile, your laugh, your body language, may matters to others. The gift you gave years ago may bring a hope to someone dear to you, the one who cherished you even if you're far away. It takes about a little thing that the universe will conspire you to achieve greater things. This may not the time, but it may come at unexpected times. Believe in the power of little things. They can move mountains despite the changing tides.

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

“𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓮 𝓶𝓮?”

— renegade, big red machine ft. taylor swift

you're the blue in my heart. you're always there. a piece that became a scarred thing that i couldn't deny nor ignore. a part of you lingers. you're jagged and weak. barely out of breath. the nightmares scarred your sanity and even if i cloak you with my sunshine, you eat it like nothing happens. all that's left is that miniscule of hope - hoping that you will be fine. but i know, i'm just lying to myself. the cigarette kisses we shared in that fateful midnight rain lits me up and burns me further and i'm still carrying the burns that you gave me - marking me. your sharp pieces make me bleed and i'm just lying on the kitchen floor, gasping for the air we shared, that intoxicated scent that makes us crazy from time to time.

you speak of words with flowers armed with poisonous thorns. you touched me here and there, as if telling me to stay - to stay while you're battling with your illusions and hallucinations. and here i am, still holding on. where can i stay? when you're not even know yourself anymore. while i am carrying the damage you inflicted everywhere. i'm bleeding. but maybe, that's fine. i've been bleeding ever since i choose to love you.

isn't it insensitive for me to say? to fix yourself in order for me to love you freely. i want to be with you - and your cigarette kisses and intoxicating scent of berries.

- Sailer, excerpts from the backburner

[bluerthanblue-excerpts]

when the meteor burns

what happens when you fall so fast? it burns and it warms your heart. i don't have an exact explanation of why, it's unfathomable and the connection is palpable, can't contain it so i let go of it and just embrace it. life is unpredictable. you don't know if someone crosses your path while you're forging a path that's very different from your original path. a detour or a destination? and to the stars, you witness my past and under both moonlight, the trajectory of my past and present - she witnessed all of it. the unhealthy and healthy me, the toxic and the healing phase. i don't know where that road takes me as i take this detour on my own, and this is also my choice. i don't know if i'll end in a cliff and free fall to another path again or river or if i'll reach an unknown turf where i can make things grown on my own. i am clueless where this road leads me but i have to be strong despite the challenges. this is my choice so i have to keep my head and heart in check.