is it a problem that i haven't finished them yet?
college apps, that is.
i just don't want to if i know i don't have to.
you know?
because if december 15th comes and is the happiest day of my life (as i have literally been dreaming the past two weeks... i'm a freak) then i can just forget about half of the colleges on my list. and what's the point in doing all my apps if i won't even have to?
ugh i need to stop searching for college apps tags. people are either done or want to kill themselves. obviously i understand part of that is because people only post on tumblr when they're bored or have extreme emotion but seriously, am i the only one sitting here with only two of them done like "well... i'll be ok."
ugh i'm crazy, there's just no other explanation. and i find that the more essays i write, the less words i seem to be able to comprehend. seriously. i have no time to read anymore because i'm so damn busy trying to write. i'm losing words, they are literally dripping out of me and i am running dry.
it doesn't even feel like 2 am right now. everything is so damn confusing. the day, the time, the future, the people, the world. good thing this huge part of my is existentialist or else i seriously wouldn't be able to handle it.
existentialism for the win.