Wandering Soul
Greek God!AU
Pairing: Sehun x Reader
Summary: You’re dead. You’re a soul that wanders the Underworld, like many others. But you can’t remember how or why you died, and you desperately want to know.
Your earliest memory is of you waking up in this place.
It was dark.
Cold.
The first thing you saw was a skull staring at you. Bony hands shook you awake, pulled you to your knees and held your hands together.
It was a hazy place, so it was hard to see clearly. The floor was covered in slime and gore, whispers of pain echoing in your ears.
Hands began to form from the slime, reaching out towards you, grabbing you. Their touch was painfully cold, making goosebumps crawl over your skin and a scream rip itself from your throat.
You tried to move, to shake them off but you’re bound. You remember trembling so hard you could barely keep yourself upright.
“Alright, that’s enough.” A silky voice rings and the hands removed themselves from you.
When you lifted your head, you are met with a handsome man. His dark hair and attire contrasts with his pale skin. His eyes are terrifyingly dark, like voids, emotionless and cold. He looks at you analytically, snapping his fingers. Instantly, a skeleton formed by his side, holding out a scroll.
He checked it, finding what you assume is your name on the list. “Hm, right on time I see.” He said simply, waving at the skeleton that was still holding you to bring you away. “Take her away for the Judgement.”
You learn his name, Oh Sehun. The Land of the Living knows him as Hades, the god of the Underworld. King of the Dead.
All souls end up in the Underworld, one way or another. Most souls that arrive are tortured, filled with anger, bitterness, or regret. Most souls that come here never really find rest.
It’s a grueling place. It’s stifling and dark, covered in souls of the dead, bones, ash. The Styx leads to the House of Hades, a place only those invited by Hades himself can enter. It is guarded by Cerberus, the three headed dog.
You are one of those rare souls that have been allowed to enter. Sehun has a fondness for you that he doesn’t have for any other soul. He once said it was simply inexplicable.
“Hello.” You greet Cerberus, rubbing each of his head as it yips in delight. They now recognize you, from your frequent visit. As a soul in the Underworld, you have little to do to pass time. You are eternally bound here, to this cold, glum place.
Inside the House of Hades, it is equally dark. The marble it is made of is black and grey, though the halls block out the moaning and wailing of the bitter souls.
It is the only place in the Underworld that you can consider a sanctuary.
Sehun’s throne room is spacious and grand. When you walk, your footsteps echo and ring. It is lit by blue fire, casting a cool light across the room.
“Sehun?” You call, finding his throne empty. He may be out on his daily patrol, ensuring that no souls leave the Underworld, and no living can enter. Perhaps you have come at a bad time.
You turn to leave, but the fires flare for a second before returning to normal, a signal of his arrival.
“You came.”
You turn, finding Sehun now seated comfortably on his throne, fingers drumming across the armrest. A sly smile plays on his lips as his eyes fall on you, filled with mirth and mischievousness.
“Of course.” You answer, unable to help the smile that grows on your face upon seeing him. “I missed you.”
“Already?” It comes out a laugh. “Even though we saw each other not so long ago?”
“Every time I leave I wish I could already see you again.” You say, making your way towards him, to his warm, welcoming arms.
He holds you against him carefully, balancing you on his lap. He seems pleased by your words. “Is that so?”
He leans down, lips finding yours so naturally. No matter how many times he kisses you, it seems you can never quite get used to it. The warmth, tenderness, softness.
Is it okay for you to be this happy even if you’re dead?
Sehun pulls away, a chuckle falling from his lips as he shakes his head. “What have you done to me?”
You grin, tilting your head as you drop another kiss on his lips, his nose, the tips of his eyelashes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You make me lose my cool.” He mutters, hands sliding down your sides and making you shiver. “I can’t be biased, you know.”
“Hm.” You hum, not really replying because you know he’s biased towards you, no matter how much he hates to admit it. You adjust yourself, placing your legs on either side of him. You hear him inhale sharply, a low growl falling from his lips.
“You’re sly.” He complains. “For a dead soul, you sure are playing dirty.”
“You like me like this.” You retort, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him back towards you, to find his lips once more. You want to get your fill of him so you can last another human day or so without him. You get so lonely when he’s on patrol.
He can’t stay patient when you’re like this. You know this well as he pulls you away, towards his bedroom. His bed is large and comfortable, the only place in the Underworld that is considered so.
When he motions you to go on, you obey without a word, throwing him a sly wink as you do so, watching him roll his eyes at you playfully. He is quick to remove your robe, maneuvering around your body so naturally because he knows you so well. He kisses your neck, mouth hot and welcoming against the icy temperatures of the Underworld.
His hands trail, finding familiar paths across your body, retracing previous steps.
“Your body looks so beautiful against my black.” He whispers against your stomach, going lower as you moan. “You stand out like no other.”
“Mm.” You tug at his dark hair. “Aren’t you the same?”
He chuckles, the vibration making your legs quiver and you throw your head back against the silky sheets.
He pulls back, eyes even darker than before, if possible. You love those eyes, always cool and collected, even in this moment of heat. He flashes you a boyish grin as he leans back, looking so incredibly relaxed. He holds out his hand for you. “Come.”
You obey, hands trailing up his bare chest to rest on his shoulders as you position yourself accordingly, lips finding their way back to his.
His finger trails down your spine, his lips caressing your forehead. You sigh in contentment, snuggling closer to his warmth.
“Sehun?”
“Hm?”
“How did I die?”
You feel his body stiffen almost immediately, his hand halting its movements. He takes a moment to recollect himself, his voice low and cold when he asks, “Why do you ask?”
“I simply want to know.” You answer tracing circles across his chest. “I have no memory of when I was alive. I know we’re not supposed to know…but I’m curious. Why can’t we know?”
“Do not ask any further.” He turns away from you, suddenly very distant as he rises, pulling on his robe.
“Sehun!” You panic, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him back towards you. “Why not?”
“Enough!” He hollers, eyes suddenly ablaze and the fire that lights the room spikes. You flinch, having never seen him so worked up before. “If I say do not ask, do not ask.”
“I—” You pause, searching his eyes but finding nothing. You sigh. “Okay.”
He removes himself from you and disappears down the hall.
Why? Why can’t you know?
It’s been haunting you ever since that day, and you simply cannot get the idea out of your head. No other soul knows about their life before their death, despite how many souls cling to feelings of betrayal or regret. What they cling to is simply a fragment that was left behind from when they were alive, they carry no real memory.
Sehun knows how each soul has died. It is part of his job, to regulate the Cycle of Life and to oversee the Judging of souls. Only he knows. But why does he refuse so much to tell you?
But…maybe…
No. It’s ridiculous, you can’t possibly…
But if you were to go back to the Land of the Living, wouldn’t you remember something? Would that world up there trigger a memory? Where did you come from, who was your family? You want to know.
How did you end up here?
Souls are forbidden from leaving the Underworld. You know Sehun regulates this strictly.
But if you were to put Cerberus, who guards the gate, to sleep…then you would have the chance to sneak out.
You’ll be back before he even knows it. You just want to take a peak.
You enter the House of Hades when Sehun is out. You know he has a flute somewhere, for training or a means of emergency in case Cerberus ever goes out of control. You’ve seen him use it only once.
You find it in the archives, filled with records of the dead, but it cannot be read by anyone other than Sehun. It would have been much easier if you could read it, but you suppose this will do. You just have to be quick and slick.
You clutch the flute as you hurry back out. You must do this before Sehun gets back.
Cerberus is guarding the gates accordingly, and you play a simple tune on the flute, lulling him to sleep. It doesn’t take you too long before he’s snoring at your feet.
Feeling triumphant, you crack open the gates just enough for you to slip out.
You’re almost there—
A great force pulls you back as the gates slam shut. Cerberus growls, fangs snapping at you and when you look a little higher…
You feel panic kick in.
Sehun is glowering down at you, eyes blazing with anger and a deep scowl on his face. You’ve never seen him this angry before, not even when you asked him about your death.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He roars, the sound making you cower.
“I-I wanted…” You bow, trembling. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”
“Cerberus.” Sehun snaps at his dog. “Double your attention. And you guys,” he snaps his fingers, summoning several skeletons. “Take her away, lock her up. This one needs to be punished.”
You don’t know how long you’ve been locked up. This place is darker and smaller than any place you’ve been to in the Underworld, and it’s making you claustrophobic, scared. You didn’t know a dead soul could feel this way.
After what feels like eons, your prison door unlocks to reveal Sehun, still looking displeased as he narrows his eyes on you.
“You,” he seethes out, “did you really think you could leave?”
“I’m sorry.” You whisper.
“You betrayed my trust.” His words come out cold, but laced with unmistakable hurt. “I was wrong to be biased.”
“No!” You beg, curling yourself at his legs. “Please, I’m sorry. I just…I want to know. I want to know what my life was like, why I ended up here. Please don’t be angry.”
Sehun inhales sharply, exhaling almost as if he’s been defeated. He crouches, touching you gently, caressing your cheek. His eyes look sad, pained. “You can’t know. If you knew, your soul would break and you would disappear.”
“W-What?” Your eyes widen at the idea.
“Knowing your life will break your soul.” He repeats. “It has happened countless times before. Now, I will guard and refuse this information from anyone.”
You’ve never heard of such a thing before. For a soul to break and disappear…what a terrifying thought. You’re already dead. To think that you could perhaps die a second time…
But you want to know. No matter how much you’re scared, the feeling just cannot be shaken away. Even if you have to risk your soul, your very existence, you still wish to know. “I want to know.”
Sehun looks taken aback, “What?”
“Please tell me.” You say, tightening your hold on his robe. “I won’t break. So please, tell me.”
“You’ll break.” He whispers.
“I won’t.”
“You will!” He yells out, his voice filled with so much raw emotion you’ve never heard him express before. “You’ll break and disappear and I can’t let that happen!” He’s trembling, eyes filled with so much fear. “I can’t let that happen. Not to you.”
Oh.
He’s scared.
He’s even more scared than you, because all these years…these hundreds upon thousands of years that he’s been guarding the Underworld…he has always, always been lonely.
All these souls…all these people…and yet he must always stay level-headed and judge objectively.
You were the first he ever loved, and he can’t bear to lose you.
You find yourself smiling. You hold his cheek, holding him close to you. “I won’t break.”
It’s a promise.
He looks like he might be the one to break. He searches your eyes, hoping for you to change your mind, but you stay strong.
How could you be yourself if you don’t know your own life?
“It’ll hurt.” He says. “It’s better not to know something like that.”
“I know.” You whisper. “But I’m not me unless I know.”
You don’t want to be a lost, wandering soul anymore.
He sighs, finally giving in. He presses his forehead against yours, and memories begin to flood into you.
You watch your life play out before you like a movie. Foreign scenes, feelings…yet they’re not so foreign after all. An overwhelming sense of nostalgia fills you.
And then…
A scream.
A knife.
A wicked smile.
You were murdered.
You keep hearing screams. You realize you’re the one screaming. Your memory is chaotic, so it’s hard to really see what’s going on. Pain erupts in your chest. You see red. Then you feel it in your neck and you gasp, choking.
“That’s enough.” Sehun pulls away, holding you steady. His voice is filled with panic. “You can’t handle it. I told you!”
Your head is spinning. Everything hurts. It hurts so much…so scared…you died all alone, broken and mangled and bleeding. You can’t stop the trembling, the fear, the panic. You can’t think, can’t focus on him, can’t calm down.
“Please stay with me.” He keeps whispering. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
And then the world fades to black.
You understand now. You were murdered by a group of thieves that had invaded your town. You remember the terror when you met them, having known they were famous for murder and stealing anything with value. They were a vicious group.
But you had died because you tried to stop them. You tried to protect your friends and family, and in turn you were killed.
That’s who you are.
You wake up to find yourself in Sehun’s bed. It’s warm and comfortable, but there’s an ache in your chest.
“You’re finally awake.” Sehun is there by your bedside, looking restless. “Thank goodness.”
“I…” You hold out your hands, finding your body different. You feel lighter somehow, yet strangely grounded. “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” He asks worriedly. “You don’t feel weird? Does it hurt anywhere? Do you feel unwell?”
“I’m dead.” You murmur. “I’m really dead.”
Sehun looks too pale, looking as if the world is going to end. You can’t help but laugh at that. “Sehun, I’m fine. Really. I don’t hurt anywhere, I don’t feel unwell. I do feel…different. Like the reality has finally sunken in. I saw myself die. I know who I am, what had happened. I feel complete.”
You wrap your arms around him, pressing a kiss on his lips. “I was scared when I remembered. It was so scary, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m actually glad that I got to come here, to be with you, Sehun.”
You hold him tight, and he reciprocates immediately. “I love you.”
A/N: I just really felt like writing this. I hope you enjoyed it! I’d love to hear from you~
©kimjongdaely
Request and let’s love!
