Oasis
Wandering
Sol /sɒl/ The sun; goddess of the sun
Junmyeon / Female reader
Wordcount: 2.5k
Series masterlist
Breaths quickening Eyes busy searching for the answers My lips drying out On this endless road
The sun is beating down on you sweltering hot, the heat shimmering in waves in the air around you. Your skin burns, sweat dripping from your body, and your throat feels like you have swallowed the sand you are dragging your feet through. With the sun behind you, it gives you some relief from the bright glare, as it descends into the endless sea of sand.
Red and golden sand dunes, colored by the setting sun, rise and fall around you for as far as the eye can see. Endless and unforgiving but breathtakingly beautiful. A prison without walls trapping you in the never-ending desert.
You know you are lost; you have been lost ever since you woke up amongst the hills of sand, but you have yet to fully admit defeat. How long has it been? You don’t know. You are so very hopelessly lost. The very thought makes it hard to keep going, to keep putting one foot ahead of the other. Would you even die if you stop? Would you disappear? Or would you turn into the very sand keeping you trapped?
You glance at your companion, wanting to shake the disheartening thoughts from your mind. His hair is lighter than when you first met him, bleached by the sun. His skin is golden but dry from the searing heat, and, like yours, his lips are chapped and cracked to the point of bleeding, having seen no water. But there is a fire in his eyes. There is hope. Determination. A will to keep going even when everything seems pointless. Without him, you would have stopped walking a long time ago.
Junmyeon is your only reason to keep going forward. You have never voiced your feelings of hopelessness to him, never told him that you want to give up. To just stop and disappear into the air. Taking away his hope is something you have vowed to yourself to never do. Even though you lost your hope long before Junmyeon appeared next to you, you will never take away his. Selfishly, you use his hope to fuel your own.
Before Junmyeon, you had been alone for so long, just wandering aimlessly through the sand, looking for a reason for your existence. Following the call of the horizon. Hunger and thirst gnawed and burned until you learned to ignore it. The only thing keeping you going was the thought that whatever was calling you beyond the horizon would set you free. But you are still in the desert, and it is still calling you. Still so far away.
The eternal cycle of the sky above you is the only change in your world of sand. Days pass, weeks, months. Maybe even years, you don’t know. You stopped counting a long time ago. Junmyeon is still trying to keep track of the days passing, but soon he will give up too. Just like you did.
He feels the call too. He asked you about it after he arrived, but you had no answers. You still don’t. It is not a voice, not something you hear with your ears, it is something you feel in your heart. Something you are longing for but don’t know where or what it even is. You have chased it for so long, but you no longer believe in the promises it tries to fill your heart with. There is nothing there. How could there be?
First, you were alone in the desert, and then Junmyeon had appeared. From one moment to another. One second you were alone, and the next you found yourself face to face with a young man, bewildered and scared. There was no one, and then there was. Just like that.
It feels like it was only yesterday he appeared, but you know it has already been a long time. Back then, you had watched him go through all the same emotions you had after waking up in the desert alone.
He had paced around for days, vehemently insisting that it was a mistake. Someone would surely know to come find you and rescue you – take you back home. But… home is a place you can’t even remember. Maybe once you did, but now, there is nothing. Perhaps Junmyeon remembered his home back then, maybe he really knew there was another world out there somewhere. But you watched him slowly forget. You never told him how long you had been there before him, how you had already tried everything you could think of. You just watched, knowing what was coming. And eventually, he realized too.
Anger grew from his denial. From his defeat. Anger burning hotter than the sun as he yelled and screamed at the sky until his voice grew hoarse and disappeared, leaving him unable to speak for days. It was hard to watch, but still, you never spoke. It was something he needed to let out.
Then, there were endless questions. Questions you had asked, and still ask, yourself hundreds of times without finding answers. He would talk to himself, sometimes to you, for hours on end. How are you alive without food or water? You don’t even need to sleep, why? What is your purpose? Why are you there? Why is it just the two of you? How do you get out?
At night, when neither of you want to keep walking and you just lie there in the sand watching the stars, you can still hear Junmyeon’s voice asking you all these questions. Every question is a knife to your heart because you want so badly to give him the answers he is looking for. But you can’t. The last question he ever asked echoes through your mind every night, his voice small and fragile.
Will we ever get out?
He lost hope after that. He stopped talking, stopped caring. He gave up and refused to walk further. For days, he sat and watched first the sun then the moon and the stars. Unlike you, he never cried once, but there was no life in his eyes. It was like he wasn’t even there. Yet still, you never said anything. You just sat and watched him, feeling your heart break at the sight. He looked so small under the vast sky. You could have left him behind, then. You could have continued towards whatever it was you were looking for, but you hadn’t been able to bear the thought of ever being alone again. You didn’t want Junmyeon to suffer the same loneliness you had.
“Just a little further,” Junmyeon says with a huff, blowing away some hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. “Not much longer now.”
You blink, thoughts breaking, and you look up at him. He is talking mostly to himself, a habit you have become quite fond of. It makes you feel less alone. He has changed a lot since then, his heart once again filled with hope. Somehow, he found the strength within himself to keep going. To find the answers to the questions he once asked you.
You want to believe his words, but you can’t. You went through that mantra for what felt like an eternity. Just a little further. You had told yourself over and over. It’s not far now. Just a little further. It got you nowhere. But he believes, and so you wander through the desert.
Every morning you chase down the sun as it rises, painting the sky in magnificent colors. Every evening you walk with the sun on your back, as the sky is once again lit up in an array of colors that leave you in awe no matter how many times you see it. At night you walk with the moon and the stars, the cool air a relief on your burned skin. You take turns in naming the stars, and you make up stories about the constellations you create together.
Though you have lost hope of ever leaving, you will be fine as long as Junmyeon is by your side.
“Sol,” Junmyeon gasps, coming to a stop beside you. “Sol, look!”
You look up and you see it. There in the distance amongst the shimmering waves of heat. A speck of blue amongst the gold of the sand. A mirage? The longer you look, the clearer it becomes, and you just stare, not daring to blink in fear if it vanishing. It… it is really there, nestled amongst the dunes of sand. A ring of blue and green. You had almost forgotten what green looks like. Green means life – water. I can’t be, but still, you feel hope welling up inside you. It’s really there. It’s –
“An oasis,” Junmyeon breathes, voice nearly inaudible as if speaking it out loud will make it disappear. “You see it too?”
“I do,” you whisper.
You look up at Junmyeon, his eyes meeting yours. They are sparkling in the sun, wide and hopeful, and a smile slowly grows on his face. Without a word, you both start running. Stumbling and falling across the sand, you run, laughing breathlessly and high on the feeling of pure elation. Your heart beats faster and faster the closer you get, and you can feel it washing over you like a tidal wave – hope. Finally.
Junmyeon pulls ahead as your pace slows, a strange apprehension darkening the euphoria. Will this finally be it? Is this your reward for spending an eternity in this sandy prison? Will it be worth it? You take a deep breath. This is it. Everything you have been waiting for. You are ready.
Ahead of you, Junmyeon stops suddenly and falls to his knees with a soft thud. You look up and you stop. Your heart stops. No… No.
There is nothing there but sand. Just more goddamned sand! But how… you had seen it so clearly. It was right there!
You sink to your knees beside Junmyeon, the hope blooming inside your chest crushed. How can it be… You want to cry but no tears come. You feel empty. It was just another way for the desert to mess with you, to keep you going. You should have known better. You know better!
Junmyeon digs his fingers into the sand, letting out a quiet sob. You want to comfort him, but you don’t know what to say. He is the positive one, the one keeping you both going, but now… You watch as he picks up handfuls of sand, staring blankly at it as it runs through his fingers. Will this be when he breaks? Will this be it?
The thought of him ending up like you, an empty shell with nothing to keep going for… you don’t ever want that for him, have always done your best to protect him from the reality of what you fear most. That you are stuck for all eternity, doomed to wander the desert forever.
“Junmyeon,” you say, reaching out but hesitate and let your hand fall back down to your side. He doesn’t react. Maybe he didn’t hear you. Maybe he doesn’t care.
You roll onto your back, hoping to get lost in the sea of blue above you. There are no clouds in the sky today, there rarely are. Heat shimmers in the air around you, and you reach up.
Beside you, Junmyeon lies down with a heavy sigh. Neither of you speak, and the sound of a gentle breeze rustling the sand fills the void between you. It is almost comforting. At least nothing has changed, nothing was taken away.
As you lie there in the sand, hours pass. The sun sets on the horizon, the blue sky turning a soft pink, and the shadows around you growing longer. From pink to violet as the air gets colder, soothing on your burnt skin and dry eyes. Violet turns indigo as the first stars appear, tiny lights blinking to life above you. The moon rises as the sky turns black; big and white as it appears and takes over from the sun.
Still, neither of you move. Neither of you speak. You thought that you had long since accepted your fate that was now your existence but seeing Junmyeon so defeated... It broke something within you. Maybe you haven’t given up just yet. Maybe Junmyeon has managed to fill you with some of his determination. Maybe.
“Sol.” Junmyeon breaks the silence. You hum, eyes closed as you enjoy the cool breeze on your face.
“We will get out of here,” he says determinedly. “I promise you. This was a sign, I can feel it. We’re close, we have to be! Just a little further. We can do it.”
Just a little further. You have told yourself that hundreds of times, have heard it from Junmyeon just as many. But why do you believe him this time?
You turn your head meeting his eyes. They are sparkling in the moonlight, so full of life. “There’s no one I’d rather be here with than you,” you say, and it is the most honest you have ever been with him.
He smiles and reaches out for your hand. “I don’t know why I found you, but I’m glad I did.”
You stay like that the whole night, holding hands while looking at the stars. Neither of you speak again, but you don’t need to. You know.
The sky lightens on the horizon as the sun begins to rise once again. Black bleeding into indigo, then violet and pink. And as the sun peaks over the horizon, the sky explodes in a myriad of golden colors.
“Let’s go,” Junmyeon says, not letting go of your hand as he stands up. You let him pull you to your feet, and you both turn to face the sunrise.
Whatever is calling you, you will find it. Whatever it takes, however long it takes. With Junmyeon by your side, you will walk to the ends of the earth if that is where it is.
A wave of emotions wells up inside of you as you watch the sun rise, and you suddenly feel like laughing. Everything seems like a dream, your whole existence a mystery in itself, but now, instead of giving up, you are ready to explore. To learn.
You start running, letting go of Junmyeon’s hand as you go. The sun is blinding, big and red as it ascends from the sea of sand. You feel breathless, but it is not from running. There is so much to explore. Somewhere out there, you will find what you are looking for, but until then, at least you have Junmyeon to watch the breathtaking sunrises with.
“What are you doing?” Junmyeon calls, laughter in his voice.
You spin around to face him, spreading your arms out. “Chasing the sun,” you laugh, light and carefree. “Come on! The horizon awaits!”
Junmyeon laughs but starts running, grabbing your hand as he passes you, and you follow him. His smile is blinding as his eyes meet yours.
Sand is kicked into the air behind you as you run, your laughter carried away by the wind. Ahead of you, the sun shines brighter and brighter, almost as if it is actually coming closer.
Whatever it takes, you will get there.
It’s just a little further.
We'll go further, even further Finding a road never taken before Runnin', I'm runnin' Chasing the sun
