Little wolf - Jongin (wolf!au)
You followed the group outside the house, they all wanted to go for a run before the afternoon was over. You wanted to howl by expectation. They were already taking off their clothes and ready to change, but something didn’t feel right.
Right behind Jongin, you hesitated. Your wolf was telling you no. Your eyes wandered around in the porch, seeking for an excuse when you found the new human there. The girl that was saved by your pack weeks ago. Minseok’s human.
Jongin was already in his wolf form when you realized he stayed behind and was waiting for you.
“Go with them, I’ll stay with her a little bit”.
When he finally left, you looked at the girl again. She smiled at you.
“If you’re staying because of me, please, don’t worry.” You could sense that she was nervous now, alone with you. “Minseok explained to me how the wolf feels when he doesn’t change in a while”.
Now you were smiling, but you didn’t reply. That was awkward for you.
It’s not like you didn’t know how to interact with humans. You did, you’ve even met a few of them, but you were not part of those wolves that also lead a human life.
Something your mate, Jongin, did.
Having parents with different lives, he had grown up having the best of both worlds. Being a full human when with his father in the city, but a wolf with his mother and the pack during his vacations.
When you reached the right age and mated, no one dared to say it out loud, but you knew that you were not who everyone expected for him. Neither did you. Yes, you always appreciated Jongin, you were fond of him, but you were his long waited mate? The most awkward towards humans? He could have mated an outsider, human, just like Minseok, or a wolf that also enjoyed both worlds. But no. Mother nature decided it was you.
To be honest with yourself, something you would never admit to them, you expected to mate Minseok.
You admired him. And he enjoyed much more his animal nature, just like you. You couldn’t see yourself with someone more fitted for you. But mother nature knows what she’s doing.
Now that it’s been a few years of it already, you could say you understood why. Why you were the best fit for him. There was a time that Jongin got so caught up with his human job, that his wolf was left in second place for too long. Until it snapped. You never asked how he felt about those consequences, but you could sense how much he regretted it.
You were his biggest tie to this world. Mother nature picked him a mate that would keep him sane. He connected you more to your human nature too, while you did the same for him. Not letting any of you drown into your own world.
“Do you wanna ask me something?” The question slipped from your mouth when you felt the human’s curiosity before you could stop yourself.
“You don’t mind Jongin working in the city while you stay here?”
“Not really.” You simply said.
When she kept quiet after that, you knew that you had disappointed her because she was expecting more. Sighing, you sat beside her and played with the crease of your jeans. You needed to make an effort. That was supposed to be your world too and time was running off.
“Most of us have both parents wolves. That’s my case. Growing up, I knew only nature. My parents only let me go to the human world when I was near the matting age and that was terrifying. With Jongin it was different”.
You could hear his mother walking around the house, probably ready to cook something for the wolves when they got back. You wanted to go back inside and help her, but that wasn’t something you should do. Stay and chat, you told yourself.
“His father is a teacher. So he went to schools and stuff like that. There was a time that we barely saw him. Only during his vacations. He was expected to be one of those wolves conquering the world. Some even said that he wouldn’t stay in a pack for too long. So I’m fine with it. As long as he comes back to me, it’s ok”.
“You always knew he was your mate? That’s why you’re okay with it?”
“No. The matting process is different for each person. It depends on your age, whether your a wolf, the closeness”.
She was still confused.
“Did Minseok told you that the more close the mates are, the harder is for them to notice?”
“Really? Shouldn’t it be the opposite?”
“Well, no. The bond is not instantaneous. Of course, if you never saw your mate before, you will feel it in a way that can’t be ignored, but it’s very soft at first. A tingle sensation. You wonder without thinking”.
“That’s how it happened to you? Was it strong?”
“No. I’ve always known Jongin. We’ve mated almost six summers ago. He was in his first year studying to be a reporter”.
“So, he was a freshman? That’s tough for you to handle.”
You nod. Was that the word? “I was really young. Thirteen in human age. Since I was so young, it was really confusing for me. I remember being more interested in whatever he had to say whenever he was back, but it was just it. I didn’t feel interested in him, as a man”.
“How did you realize?”
“When he finished his studies, he came back here and stayed more time than he ever did. I was older, so the feeling I got was different. I wasn’t curious about him anymore. I wanted to be around him, be the focus of his full attention. When I realized he was giving me exactly what I wanted and asking the same, it all made sense. That was two summers ago”.
“And who noticed first?”
“Him. He knew it the moment he saw me those years ago. But like I said, it’s no instantaneous. The feeling needs to grow. At the beginning is just affection towards each other, and after it, it’s love. Pure and simple. My young age made everything slower and I’m happy about it. If that happened before, if I was older, he would have given up his studies. Fully mated couples don’t stay away for too long. The bond doesn’t let us”.
“That’s cute. You respect his need to grow.”
You both stay silent for a while, watching the backyard, the same place the pack was at half an hour ago. If you really think about it, you could almost feel the sensation of the wind on your face while you run, and your paws touching the grass. You hold back a whine.
“What about having kids?” She interrupts your daydream.
“What about them?”
“Ah, you know. How does it work in the wolf world? What will you both do?”
“What we will do?”
You tried to understand what she was asking. Why humans had to use so many words and meanings?
“We will have them”.
“No. I mean, will they live here, or they will go to the human world too?”
“Oh. We haven’t talked about it yet, you know, raising kids, but I’ll live in the human world for them, I’m sure of it. I cannot deprive my kid of part of his father’s life. What if he likes it more? And I’m actually getting ready to move in with him there”.
That was true. You knew, the moment you fully mated him, that you would have to accept the human nature inside of you, for Jongin and your future kids. And he asked you many times to live with him in the city, but you always found a way to delay it, even if that meant giving Jongin a hard time every day before leaving to work. But now you felt the rush of doing it. You couldn’t delay it forever.
“How is a wolf’s pregnancy? Is it like dog’s?”
“How’s a dog’s pregnancy?” You make fun of her ignorance. Even if she doesn’t know much about wolves world, she should know it.
“You know what I meant. Will you have a little and haired baby wolf when you get pregnant?”
“No, we have human babies, usually prettier than just human babies, but still humans. We can only turn the first time around eight years old. Most of us have kids in hospitals, you know”.
“And can you get pregnant from someone that is not your mate?”
“Yes. Not all wolves are mated. But we shouldn’t let it happen. It’s more common that the wolf will wait for their mate, but they can fall in love with someone else”.
“How can a wolf not have a mate? Minseok said all of you have one, them being another wolf or not”.
“It’s rare, but could happen. When we reach the right age, we feel our mate, the bond, even if he’s far from us. This bond makes sure that one day, mates will meet. When a wolf is born to unmated parents, we can’t be sure that he will have his own mate. Something like being an extra. He wasn’t part of the plan, so there’s no plan for him”.
“That sounds sad”.
“It is. When their parents are both wolves, chances are a little bit bigger. If one of them is human, its chances decrease. But I guess when one of them is human, it’s easier for the wolf, actually. He can live like a human most of his day”.
“Do you know someone like this?”
“Zitao.” You simply answer and shock reaches her face. “His parents are wolves from different packs, but he says he doesn’t feel anything. Doesn’t feel a mate yet.”.
“It could be that his mate isn’t old enough, right?”
“Yes, it could. We hope so. He can’t leave and go to the city and it will be a hell staying with mated wolves, while he doesn’t have one. I’ve heard there’s a girl, she lives in a city around here, but her mom is human. I guess for her should be easier. But that’s just a rumor”.
She stayed quiet and you felt how sad she was. Just a few weeks into the wolf world but already aware of the complications of it.
“Maybe mother nature prepared something bigger for them. How could they create someone to be alone?”
You kept silent, doubting if that was a good idea to tell her that. If Minseok hasn’t said something, probably wasn’t your place to tell about the pack yet.
“Wait. If wolves have human kids, you must be in your human form, right? How do you…”
“Wolves can’t change their form while they are expecting. Human females know they are expecting because of their periods. We know we are because our body refuses to change. It protects the baby”.
“The moment you get pregnant, you can’t change? Is it that quick?”
“Well, we don’t really stay in wolf form for too long, and only once or twice in a week. There’s no accuracy. I could change a few days ago, but now I can’t. I feel it, so I don’t force”.
You didn’t have to look at her to see the way her jaw dropped. It satisfied you.
When Jongin appeared between the long trees, you knew it was time to tell him. If it was that easy to tell Minseok’s mate, a human that you barely knew, it would be just as easy to tell your own mate.
You waited him get to the porch by your side so you could pet his hairy ear.
His wolf was so beautiful. His dark fur always caught your attention, so shiny and fluffy. You wished your kid to be like him.
“By the smell, your mom is baking a cake. Let’s get inside and wait for it. There’s something I need to tell you”.