I watched as his body disappeared into the sea of people. As quickly as he appeared, he disappeared. I exhaled heavily and chewed on the inside of my cheek. Why was the concept of soulmates over romanticized in our world? There was no such thing as being rejected by your soul mate… until now.
I looked down at my watch and realized that I needed to get back to the bridal shop. Christine would probably know that being around all this would be too much for me. Actually, it was too much for me. It pained my heart that I wouldn’t be taking part in any of this. I’m always the outsider looking in. I was already twenty-five and had been to so many weddings, but my own. But, as much as my heart ached I didn’t want to ruin this for Christine. No matter how bitter I am, I truly believed she deserved the bliss of finally having her soulmate.
I let out another sigh and slowly made my way back to the bridal shop. My feet felt so heavy and dragged with every step. A small smile spread across my lips at the thought of how Christine and I planned our weddings as children. We had always said that we’d both get married together. But, reality hit and only one of us was getting married. I had just met Yixing and he made it clear that what I dreamed about wouldn’t be coming true. The truth was I’d probably never get married. Would I have to settle on someone who wasn’t my soulmate?
My feet finally landed in front of the bridal shop and I inhaled deeply. I had decided not to tell Christine about Yixing. I didn’t want to ruin her day and it didn’t matter anyways. I mentally prepared myself before walking through the front doors. I watched as Christine's small figure bee-lined over to where I was. “Are you doing okay? Were you able to get a breather? I’m so sorry, I promise we’ll be done soon!” I shook my head at her silly words and placed my hands on her shoulders. “I’m okay, Chris. I went out to get a breather and I’m okay now. You have my full attention now, bud.” I smiled at her and nodded. I watched as her eyes examined me and her head tilted a bit. Her eyes lingered on me before she nodded slightly.
She pulled away and clasped her hands together. “It’s down to two dresses now! I can’t make this choice without you, buddy.” I nodded and motioned for her to go try them on. She let out a squeal and her green eyes widened. I let out a soft chuckle and her red hair swayed over her shoulder as she ran back to the dressing room. As soon as she was back in the dressing room, my face dropped. I felt so horrible, I should be excited for her. Why did I have to meet him today? He completely stole this beautiful moment from me. She deserved to have her best friend’s full attention, but I felt like I had been robbed of that. My head was swirling with thoughts of him.
She modeled each dress for me, but I kept my focus on her facial expressions. Just by her face alone I could tell she loved the first dress more. I knew her too well and even though she couldn’t pick a dress, I knew which one had won over her heart. “Soooo, which one should I get?” I snickered and looked up to see her walking towards me. I shook my head and smiled at her. “You’re pretending you don’t know which one to get, but you love the first dress the most.” Her mouth opened agape and her eyes squinted. “How’d you k-,“ I cut her off answering her with what she already knew. “Chris, we’ve known each other for so long. I can tell what you like and what you don’t like based on your facial expressions.”
“Aria, I felt like a princess in that dress!” I smiled and enveloped her small self in my arms. “You are a princess. You’re going to be a real-life princess on your day.” I held her closer as sobs left her tiny body. She pulled away and tears were streaming down her cheeks. “I feel like such a bad best friend. We said we’d do this together, but it’s just me..” She trailed off and sniffled as more tears flowed out of her. I gently held both her hands. “Chris, nooo you’re not a bad best friend. Don’t feel bad, it’s okay. I’m glad I could be here during these special moments. And you’ll be there for my special moments when the time comes.” I gently wiped her tears away and offered her a small smile. She sniffled some more and embraced me in another hug. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I tried to keep myself composed, she knew me too well. “I’m fine, buddy. Don’t worry about me.” I stated rubbing her back gently. She pulled away and her green eyes examined me once again. I knew she knew that I was hiding something from her. But, it was more than she could even imagine. I felt so embarrassed. I couldn’t even gather the courage to muster up those words inside me. I felt humiliated knowing what had taken place.
~~~
Christine dropped me off in front of my house and I waved at her as she drove off. In all honesty, I didn’t want to go home. My whole family would be there planning my cousin’s wedding. I could hear the roaring of their laughter from outside the house. I felt like I had a million cousins that were getting married each weekend. The perks of having an enormous family. I gripped my bag tightly and stared at the front of my house. I really didn’t want to go inside. I’ve had such a rough day because of Yixing and I had to work harder to keep it from Christine.
I took in a few deep breaths and commanded my feet to make its way to the front door. It felt like an eternity once I finally reached the door. The roaring of laughter grew louder and rang in my ears. My heart began beating faster knowing I’d have to face them and plaster a mask on my face. I rolled my eyes and threw the front door open, it was better to get it over with.
"The baby's home!!!!" The sound of all their voices rang through the walls. I smiled and shut the door behind me. I internally groaned at all the cheeks I had to kiss. I greeted every single aunt, uncle, and cousin. After all the greetings, I wedged myself between my mom and dad. I watched as everyone engaged back into their conversations. “Thalia’s wedding had the best food!” “Noo, Sarah’s wedding had the best cake!” “Ohhhh, but Roberto’s wedding had the prettiest decorations!”
I rolled my eyes and tuned all their chatter out. I sank my brain into a spiral of frustrated thoughts. Usually, I loved hearing them argue about who’s wedding was better. But, today I had no patience for it. “Xo, remember our wedding?” My dad’s words pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked up at him. There was a bright smile on his face as he looked over at my mother. His bright smile only heightened his soft features. His almond shaped eyes held such a beautiful honey color in them. His tan skin complimented the color of his eyes so nicely.
“Leo, don’t start.” My mother mumbled while shaking her head. My parents were so in love and sometimes their mush was too much for me. My dad got up and sat beside her. He wrapped his arm around my mom. He gently kissed her cheek with a smile on his face. “You looked so beautiful, Xiomara. You’re the most gorgeous bride I’ve ever seen.” I clenched my jaw to contain my bitterness. “Your brown eyes looked so beautiful in the sun. Your olive skin looked so gorgeous in that ivory wedding dress.” If I could clench my jaw any tighter I’d have no teeth left. Most days I enjoyed hearing them complement each other, but it was too much for me.
When would I get my chance? I felt like everyone else’s love was on display on purpose. I had often questioned my worth and that probably sounded ridiculous. But, I had cousins getting married almost every other weekend. I was suffocating in a sea of love that wasn’t meant for me. Why did this forsaken world glorify soulmates, and not show the ugliness of it? How some people die before they can even meet their soulmate? Or those who settle on others who isn’t the one meant for them? Or what if your soulmate rejected you?
I couldn’t take any of this anymore and swiftly stood up. I felt all eyes on me and darted for the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and the tears came unwelcome. I ran my fingers through my hair and paced in circles. Once the tears had come to a halt I splashed cold-water on my face. My breathing grew rapidly and I pulled up my left sleeve and snarled at the mark on my wrist. This wretched mark that I wanted so badly to disappear. I lathered soap on it and scrubbed on it as hard as I could. Soap wasn’t going to do anything, but I was desperate. I hated this disgusting mark that only meant one thing.
The tears came again and there was a light knock on the door. My breathing grew heavy again. I tugged my sleeve down to cover this thing that I was already growing to hate. “Aria? Baby are you okay?” It was my mother and I hated that she’d see me like this. I hated that they’d all know I was having a hard-time with this and they’d all feel pity for me. “Baby, are you okay?” I turned the door knob and the door creaked open. “Aria?”
I stepped forward and felt my knees buckle. There was a sharp pain that struck through my gut. I dropped to the floor in grueling pain and sobbed. “Aria!” I felt my mother’s arms wrap around me and the pain continued. “I HATE HIM I HATE HIM,” I shouted repeatedly. I hated him. I hated that he was constantly getting hurt, I hated that I met him. I hated that it was him. What I hated the most was that he wanted nothing to do with me.
trigger warning: mention of being an orphan and abandonment
~~~~~
You had been surrounded by bleak walls that you did your best to try and decorate. These walls had burned into your memory by being surrounded by them for so long. What probably didn’t seem normal to others, seemed normal to you. The same routine every day, you had given up on ever hearing good news. You had been in this system for so long that you had grown used to it. As a kid you were angry and frustrated, but now as a teenager all you felt was numbness. If it weren’t for Chanyeol you’d feel a lot more lonely. You had never had siblings and he was the closest thing you had to one. Both of you were placed into this share house at twelve and grew up in it together. Both of you were now seventeen, a year away from a window out. Or at least that’s how others saw it. All the younger kids would whine about how lucky you and Chanyeol were to be so close to freedom. Well, they saw it as freedom since they were only kids. Of course, they didn’t know any better. But, deep down both you and Chanyeol were scared.
A knock on the door brought you back to reality while you were staring blankly at your homework. You looked up to see a small smile pursed on Chanyeol’s lips. A smile mirrored on your face as he strode in. “Need some help?” You looked back at your homework and realized why you had zoned out. You were working on science homework, your least favorite subject. You turned back to Chanyeol and nodded. He sat by the pillow on your bed that was close enough to your desk. His hand pointed to the first question on your worksheet and you felt your brain wandering off already. A gentle hand placed on your shoulder shook you a bit and you looked up at Chanyeol. A snicker escaped his lips and you stared into his big eyes. Before you could stop yourself from saying it, these words slipped out. “Your birthday is next month.”
The smile on Chanyeol’s lips disappeared into straight lines. You both stared blankly in each other’s eyes. It was something neither of you wanted to talk about, yet it was coming so close. You at least had a few months left, but he only had days left. A sigh escaped your lips and Chanyeol shook his head. “I’m here to help you with science.” He muttered sternly. You shook your head and sat closer to him. “What are we gonna do?” You mumbled with tears pricking your eyes. He stood up slightly and ran his fingers through his hair. “We’ll figure it out!” He shouted frustrated. You bit your lip in attempt to hold back your tears. He was ready to storm off but calmed himself the minute he saw your state. He sat back down on the bed and placed his hands on your shoulders. “We’ll figure it out okay. We have each other, and we can stay until graduation. At least we have each other, right?” A smile curled on his lips as he stared back at you. You blinked quickly to keep your tears from falling and nodded. Chanyeol winked and gave you a quick hug. After letting go he grabbed your paper and circled all the answers and handed it back to you.
“I gotta go before Minnie catches us, it’s curfew.” You nodded, and he patted your back gently. You watched as his frame disappeared through your door and vanished into the hallway. You let out another sigh and closed the door to your room. You turned off the lights and slipped into your bed. Another sleepless night while spiraling off into your thoughts. For the past two months this was your routine. Your fears were consuming you and disturbing your sleep. Chanyeol always made fun of you and said you looked like a panda because of the bags under your eyes. Of course, he always looked out for you when you napped during homeroom. But, in all honesty no matter how hard you tried your thoughts haunted you and you couldn’t fall asleep. What would life be like once you were on your own? Would you and Chanyeol really get an apartment together? Or would he just abandon you the minute his birthday came? You swatted that thought out of your head knowing he’d scold you if he knew you were thinking about that. He had always promised he’d never leave your side, as you never left his. You remember seeing a frazzled Chanyeol following Minnie around as he gave him a tour of the place. Minnie had introduced you two and right away you had asked him to come with you to make hot chocolate. Ever since then you two had been inseparable.
Although, you were now numb to your situation you knew Chanyeol was quite angry about it. Of course, he hid his anger but because you both were close you knew. He had spent a few years with his mom, this was different for him. Whereas you never knew what it was like having parents or siblings. There were times you were frustrated by it, but you didn’t know what having a family felt like. You were so grateful for Chanyeol because he was the small slice of home you could experience. He gave you a taste of what perhaps it might be like.
Thoughts spiraling in your head had you watch as the sun rose. You turned over and glared at the clock, the red numbers glared back at you. Soon Minnie would come over and wake you to get ready for school. You stared at the clock knowing the morning would be rough without any sleep. However, you watched as the red numbers symbolled that an hour had past and was now seven. You sat up wondering why Minnie hadn’t come barging in to wake you.
It wasn’t until you heard screaming from the other side of the hallway. Out of curiosity you got up and slipped your shoes on. The screaming grew louder as you grew closer to the door. When you reached for the knob your door swung open and revealed a tiny child with frantic eyes. “It’s Chanyeol, he’s upset!” You nodded towards the child and sprinted down the hallway. Once you finally reached Chanyeol, you gasped at the state he was in. His wide eyes were now small and tears streamed down his face. His face was swollen and the top of his ears tinged with red. You watched as the veins in his neck strained as he continued shouting. You watched as he crumpled up a paper in his hands and slammed it against the wall. “Chan- Chanyeol!” Minnie yelled several times at him and tried his best to calm him down. You watched as Minnie’s head turned and he motioned for you to come and help him out.
You strided towards the frantic Chanyeol and stood before him. He sniffled, and his chest rose and fell rapidly. You watched him as he let out one last scream and dropped to his knees. Minnie tapped your shoulder and placed the ball of paper in your hands. He half smiled and nodded at you one last time. You watched as Minnie sighed and walked towards the crowd of kids that had formed at the end of the hallway. You peered down at the ball in your hands and sat in front of Chanyeol. Sniffles were all that you could hear coming out of him. Chanyeol raised his head and snatched the ball out of your hands. You watched as he sneered and crushed the ball further with his hands. A hysterical laugh escaped his lips and he peered at you. His eyes grew dark and glossed over. “I hate that woman,” he sneered. More laughter escaped his lips and you stared blankly at him. You had never seen him this upset and knew that it was best for him to get whatever bothered him off his chest. He gulped air and crushed the ball more. “She thinks that after abandoning me, I’d want to be with her?” You watched as he began breathing heavy and you placed your hand on his knee in hopes that it would calm down. However, his anger had riled him up. “Apparently she got her life together!” He shouted while laughing. His laughter rang through the halls and he held up his hand with the balled-up paper. “SHE SAID MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT IS TO MOVE IN WITH HER!” You watched as Chanyeol’s face began turning red. “I hate her! I hate her!” He hissed with his jaw clenched. You reached out to grab the ball from his hands and he violently pushed you from reaching it. He stood up and tugged at his own hair. Letting out a sob his arm slung back to throw the ball of paper.
You watched as his hand threw the ball of paper and his eyes grew darker. You shielded your eyes as a flame of fire strung out of his finger tips and spiraled towards the ball of paper. You moved your arm and saw that the ball of paper was now a pile of ashes. Your jaw fell open and your eyes darted towards Chanyeol. His eyes were wide with bewilderment. The hallway had filled with scent of smoke. He froze up and his eyes met with yours. Both of you stared at each other now knowing what to do. A few seconds later Minnie returned and was angry. “PARK CHANYEOL!” You and Chanyeol both turned to look at Minnie. “I get that you’re angry, but did you have to set it on fire?! You’re not even allowed to have a lighter!!” You and Chanyeol were both puzzled and remained frozen. “Now I have to clean up this damned mess! Both of you go get ready for school already!” He motioned his hands for both of you to leave. Chanyeol held out his arm to help you up. You grabbed onto his arm and stood back up. “Hurry up! Go get ready or you’re gonna be late!” You and Chanyeol gave one last look at each other and headed towards your rooms.
With the way your week had gone, you felt as if the world was out to get you and had some master plan to tear you down. You had been so stressed that you felt as if you didn’t even have time to stop and breathe. With so many thoughts running through your mind and so many small things needed to be done you barely had any time to eat. Of course, you did your best to eat when you could- if you remembered. Your shoulders ached and felt as if the weight of the world sat on top of them.
As your footsteps brought you to your apartment front door, you took in a deep breath. In all honesty all you wanted to do was hide under your covers. You turned the key in the lock and pushed the front door open with all of your might. Stepping through the door frame, you tore off your backpack from your shoulders and in all your anger flung it across the room.
“WOAH,“ the voice coming from your right side startled you. You watched as a body jumped from their spot on the couch. Your eyes met with your boyfriend and you felt your chest tighten. Your breath hitched in your throat and felt your body go weak. You had no energy left in you to pretend that everything was okay and that you were fine. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk about what had been going on in your life.
You felt horrible for not letting him in on how you were doing. You just couldn’t even fathom the feelings you were feeling. How could you explain to him what you were feeling, if you didn’t even know what you were feeling? You felt embarrassed that you were at such a low. Of course, there was no need to feel embarrassed but, you still felt silly. Fortunately, he had been so busy that he only had time to text you lately. You’d mainly ask how he was doing rather than the other way around. However, seeing you in this state made him feel guilty for not taking the time to text you about how you were doing.
“Honey, are you okay?” You felt your stomach twist in knots and felt tears threatening to spill over. His voice was so gentle and soothing. The way he emphasized your pet name made you feel horrible for not letting him know that you were having a tough time. You stood there frozen as your boyfriend stepped closer to you but kept his distance not knowing if you needed him too close to you. “Honey?” His words brought you out of your intrusive thoughts. Your eyes met with his and your body began shaking. Your eyes landed on the floor as you fiddled with your fingers. Tears welled up in your eyes and you gasped for air as they spilled over and streamed down your cheeks.
Your boyfriend inched closer to you and opened his arms waiting for you to embrace him. He watched as you chewed on your lip and your tears stained your cheeks. His heart tore at the sight of you fighting your tears. He watched as you gasped again for air and crumbled to your feet. Allowing himself to break the space that you needed, he grew closer to you and enveloped your body in his arms. You buried your face into his chest and stained his blue button up with your tears. He hummed gently as he held you in his arms. His fingers delicately ran through your hair to help calm you down.
Being in his arms is what you so desperately needed after having such a difficult time. “Jongin,“ You choked out barely even able to breath. His kind eyes peered down and met with yours. “mm?” He mumbled. You shook your head and buried your head into the crook of his neck. He slightly tightened his embrace and rocked you gently.
“It’s okay to cry,” he whispered. You sniffled at his words and nodded lightly. The both of you stayed there for some time before you broke the silence. “What are you doing here?” He chuckled at your words. “I just felt like I needed to see you.” You nodded again before he looked down at you again. “Should I order some take out?” His words were so soft and sounded like a whisper. You nodded slightly, realizing you hadn’t really eaten anything all day. “Why don’t you change into some comfy clothes while I order food?” He stood up and swiftly placed you on your feet.
You sheepishly smiled at him and gave a half smile. “The usual please,” you mumbled. A sweet smile arose on his lips. “Of course, honey.” He motioned for you to go change your clothes and you nodded. Your feet dragged your body through the hallway and into your room. Your body felt heavy and all the exhaustion tugged at you. But, you were so happy that Jongin was here to be beside you.
Once you had changed into comfortable clothes and tied up your hair, you made your way back into the living room. Jongin was sat on the couch and his head popped up to look at you. You smiled slightly at him and he winked. “The food is on its way and I ordered some desert too.” You grinned at his words and sat beside him. He scooted closer to you and wrapped his arms around you again. “Your bear is always here for you,” he cooed. You snickered at his words. Your pet name was honey, since he always cuddled you as if he were a bear.
Once the food arrived, he watched as you scarfed the food down. He shook his head and pouted his lip. “You haven’t been eating.” His voice was low, and you frowned knowing how concerned he’d be. “I haven’t had time,” you trailed off. He added more food to your plate and sighed. He watched as your head bowed and he crawled over to your side and kissed your cheek. “I’m not trying to scold you. I’m just sad that it’s been so tough for you that you haven’t had time to eat.” You nodded and watched as his eyes lingered on you, his face was filled with worry and sadness.
Finishing up the last of the food, he turned towards you. “Please let me know when you’re having a hard time. I feel so bad that I didn’t check in on you properly.” You nodded and sighed. “I’m sorry, I feel bad that I didn’t tell you. But.. to be honest I wasn’t sure what these feelings were. How can I explain to you if I don’t even know what’s going on?” He nodded at your words. “It’s okay to not understand your feelings, but please let me know when you start feeling odd. I love that you’re always supporting me and comforting me. But, I’d like to do the same for you. It’s not fair if you’re dealing with these feelings alone but, helping me with my feelings.” You watched as he trailed off and his face turned towards you again. “Did you not tell me because you thought I was already too busy?”
You watched as Jongin’s face flushed with guilt and you shook your head instantly. “No, I just wasn’t sure what was going on. I didn’t tell you because I couldn’t even understand myself.” Jongin nodded and let out a sigh of relief. He was worried that you didn’t want to tell him because he was already busy, but that wasn’t true. He’d always make time for you no matter how busy he was.
A kind smile spread across his lips as he turned towards you. “How about we put on a movie and put on face masks?” You giggled knowing that two minutes into the movie Jongin would fall asleep. Whenever he was at your apartment and you two tried watching movies he’d always fall asleep. He let you pick out the movie and he picked out the face masks. Your feet lead you to the pile of movies you had, and you picked out a studio Ghibli movie since they always helped you relax. You watched as he returned with two face masks that had animal faces on them.
He held the face masks up and laughed. You laughed with him as you saw the animal faces on the masks. There was a bear face mask and a bee mask. After putting the movie on the two of you sat on the couches covered in blankets. The sweet comfortable silence filled the air. His arms were gently wrapped around your frame. Your head lay on his chest and you felt his chest rise and fall as he took in and exhaled every breath. His fingers gently ran through your hair. The movie was only background noise to you enjoying being in Jongin’s arms. You heard his snickers and laughs as the funny scenes passed.
You looked up to admire his face and how engrossed he was in the movie. Once he felt your eyes on him, his eyes peered down to meet yours. His lips puckered up and he blew a kiss and giggled. A chuckle erupted out of you and a smile grew on his lips. “I’ve missed your laugh.” Your eyes lingered on his as he pulled your body closer to his. His head moved closer to your face and he placed his forehead on yours. You watched as his kind eyes stared back at you. “I want to be there during your hardest days.” He whispered and placed a kiss on your head, and shifted so that your head was on his chest again. You took in a deep breath of air and felt the warmth tugging at you and making your eyes heavy. It wasn’t long before the warmth and the exhaustion pulled you into sleep. You hadn’t slept so well in a while and thanks to Jongin, you felt safe enough and let go of your worries after gripping onto them so tightly. This time you were the first one to fall asleep rather than Jongin.
Kyungsoo gripped his revolver as he let out a deep sigh. His head slightly turned towards his men and he clenched his jaw. “Keep your guard up. The Seo’s are reckless. Don’t let your guard down for even a second, or so help me God..“ A breath slowly quivered out of him before he raised his hand. He couldn’t lose any of his men on this trip. If a wound even appeared on one of his men, well there’s no telling as to what he’d do. The Seo’s were a newer Mob and they were unbelievably reckless. It was clear that none of them knew what they were doing. Quite frankly becoming allies with them was the last thing Kyungsoo wanted to do, but he had no other choice.
Kyungsoo turned towards the entrance of the building and motioned his hand for his men to move out. His swift steps brought him through the jagged entrance. He peered inside and was met with a hallway that had blood stains and all kind of markings on it. He matched his breathing to the sound of his men’s footsteps behind him. As he immersed further into the building his heart beat sped up. The hallways were dark and smelled fowl. Once his feet landed in front of a door, he heard slight shuffling on the other side. He knew this had seemed way too easy. Of course, the Seo’s were planning something on their end. Kyungsoo quickly made eye contact with all of his men and nodded. All of them waited in silence wondering what would occur.
After a few passing minutes, the hallway flooded with rampant footsteps. The hallway overflowed with so much heat from all the bodies pouring in. Kyungsoo’s heart beat sped up so rapidly that his ears begin ringing. He snapped his fingers twice sending out a signal to his men. He briskly turned around and a smirk appeared on his face. His eyes went dark and watched as his men dispersed and the blazing of bullets began. He clenched his jaw and looked up at the ceiling to see a camera facing his direction. Rage spewed out and filled his body with anger and heat. It was a set-up and he couldn’t be any more pissed about it.
With heavy steps Kyungsoo treaded through the madness of it all. He hissed as he felt the sting a of a bullet blazing past his ear. He felt the coolness of his blood dribble down his ear. He quickly wiped the blood from his ear and cursed under his breath. He promptly spun on his heels and snatched the revolver out of its strap and pulled the trigger. He watched as the man’s body slumped to the floor and continued running through the maze of bodies. He knew what was happening and he wanted to rip that person to shreds. There was no way in hell that person could think they were that sly and could get away with what was being done.
He felt his body collide with another and with all his might he swiftly put the other person in a head lock. “If you don’t tell me where she is, I’ll tear you apart.” He looked down to meet the other person’s eyes. Their light eyes were wide and filled with fear. He watched as their body began trembling and he tightened his grip. “TELL ME NOW!” He bellowed while placing the revolver against the man’s head. “She’s in the penthouse!” Kyungsoo loosened his grip and chucked the man against the wall with all his might. The rage inside of him was exploding within him and he couldn’t keep his anger at bay anymore.
The adrenaline swimming through his body had him sprinting and flying up the millions of stair cases. He had finally reached the front door of the penthouse. He took in a few unsteady breaths and closed his eyes for a few seconds. As soon as his eyes flew open he kicked the wooden door down. He stormed through the room and lifted his gun. The scent of cigarettes and sweet perfume filled the air. A conniving laugh rang through his ears and his eyes danced around the room before landing on her.
“SEO BITNA!” His screams rumbled through out his entire body as he strode closer to her. Her laughter lingered, and his breathing grew heavy. He raised his revolver towards her forehead and his hands shook violently. “Why should I let you live?” His hands gripped his gun and she gently stood up. She proceeded towards Kyungsoo and a smirk danced on her lips. Her left hand smacked the gun out of his hands and she turned it towards him. She laughed as she aimed his own gun towards him. His eyes shifted from her to the barrel of the gun that faced him.
“Because, if you kill me.. the Gong’s will kill you and your men… partner.” Kyungsoo shook his head and looked her dead in the eyes. “Sure, kill me. But, your tactics will get you killed eventually.” A laugh escaped her lips again and she shrugged. “I don’t want to be at the top, might as well have some fun.” Kyungsoo shook his head again and lowered his voice this time while speaking to her. “Are you that reckless? You don’t care if so many other lives are at stake? Don’t you realize that your fun could take so many lives?!” She tilted her head to the side, amused with his gentle words. She rested the revolver against his temple and softly stroked his cheek with her right hand.
“Ah so it is true. Do Kyungsoo does have a soft spot.” Kyungsoo snatched her hand away and locked his eyes with her. “You have nothing to offer me, Bitna.” Her finger hovered over the trigger and a snicker erupted out of her. Bitna inched her face towards Kyungsoo’s face and smiled at him. “That’s where you’re wrong my dear Soo,” she cooed. His eyes watched as she taunted him with her words. Her hand gently caressed his cheek again and she pouted her lips. “We wouldn’t want anything to happen to your Rose.”
Kyungsoo’s body tensed at the mention of her name and Bitna chuckled at his actions and curled her lip. “Ah so it is true.” Kyungsoo’s breathing grew heavy as she moved the gun from his temple to his forehead. “I may be reckless, love. But, I can offer you more protection for her.” She stated with a sweet smile on her lips. He watched as her dimples appeared through her false smile. “Leave her out of this!” Kyungsoo howled and she tapped his temple gently with the barrel. She pulled away from him and sighed. “You’re the idiot that brought her into all of this. Tell me Kyungsoo, do you think people like us get a happy ending?” She paused and watched as a man ran through the door with his body and clothes stained in blood. Kyungsoo’s head darted towards the man and their eyes met. Bitna cleared her throat and Kyungsoo’s eyes met with hers again.
“Tell your men to finish off the Gong’s. They’ve been on my trails for weeks. Finishing them will be a symbol of our partnership. I’ll follow your lead however you like, and in return I’ll provide more protection for your flower.” Kyungsoo sighed at how conniving she was. She was too damn good and practically played Kyungsoo in his own game. Usually he was on the other end coming up with plans like these. He nodded and looked back at the man. “Fleck, have them finish off the Gong’s.” The man nodded promptly and disappeared back into the madness.
Bitna let out a laugh and placed the gun back in Kyungsoo’s hands. “I envy you. You have something worth living for. You have someone you want to protect with all your heart and soul.” Kyungsoo placed his gun back in his strap and eyed her. “Since you’re following my lead you can’t be reckless anymore. You talk about how I have someone I want to protect? Start by protecting your men. Their job is to protect you, so do them the favor of keeping them alive. Quit putting so many lives at stake. If you have any problems, contact me.” Kyungsoo watched as her petite body sat at the end of the bed and her guard dropped. His eyes remained on her as he watched her eyes glaze over.
As the room filled with silence, he observed the dark circles under her eyes. Her shoulders were so tense that it seemed the weight of the world sat upon her delicate shoulders. This was the real Bitna that was masked by her façade of not seeming to care. The sight in front of him was a familiar image he knew too well and sympathized with. His heart ached as he understood why she looked this way. Second generation mafia leaders either loved what they did or hated the person that they’ve become. It was clear she hated who she had become, she was lost in life and had lost herself because of this. It was as if he were looking in a mirror and taking a look at himself. God, did he look this sorry and sad? If he didn’t look this sad, the only reason was because of Rose.
He let out a sigh while glancing at her for a few more seconds. He took in a deep breath of air and turned on his heels. As he heard the echo of his own footsteps down the metal staircase, Bitna’s words rang through his ears. “Do you think people like us get a happy ending?” Another thing to tear him apart. As if it wasn’t enough that he was scared to know if his mother was alive. Would his mom still want to be around him? Bitna was right, Rose would grow tired of him one day. The minute she finds out what his work really was- She’d definitely leave him.
His feet brought him down the staircase while enveloped in his thoughts. Kyungsoo didn’t even stop to think if the combat had ended or not. Luckily, Fleck was standing right by the staircase waiting for him. “We finished boss. We still have to me-“ Kyungsoo turned to him and cut him off. “Cancel the meeting with the Cho’s. I’m going home.” Fleck’s eyebrow’s furrowed together in confusion. “Boss! We have to meet with them!” Kyungsoo shook his head repeatedly. “Tell them something came up in our town. We can reschedule. They’re one of our top allies, they’ll understand.” Fleck eyed Kyungsoo as the words came out of him. Kyungsoo laughed as he saw the confused look on his face. “I just wanna get home to my girl.” At those words Fleck rolled his eyes and laughed at Kyungsoo.
Fleck nodded and playfully elbowed Kyungsoo. ‘I’ll call the Cho’s.” Kyungsoo watched as Fleck headed in the other direction to make his phone call. He headed towards the car and pulled out his phone. A smile tugged at his lips when he saw a message from Rose. ‘Have you seen the sun today?’ He chuckled as he imagined her typing up this message. He felt like his heart was exploding just thinking about her. ‘Yes, I saw the sun today. But, it wasn’t as bright as you,’ He typed back in response.
He wanted to get home early and surprise her. He’d missed her so much and just wanted to be in her arms. But his heart warming feeling disappeared as Bitna’s words rang again in his ears. “Do you think people like us get a happy ending?” How long could he get away with having Rose by his side? How long would he be able to protect her for?
A/N: I’ve been seeing that the mafia!au has been very popular, and wanted to try it out. Let me know what you guys think. :) Just a reminder this is an au.
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
~~~~~~
It had been a long day for Kyungsoo- more of a long morning. He got more done during the morning as the sun was rising. It’s when everyone else sleeps and when his mind is calibrating every move he makes. He looked up and realized it was already noon. Only noon, yet he had taken down about ten men. His eyebrow rose and his head nodded realizing how much he had gotten done, and was done for the day. His mind shifted towards you and a smile spread across his lips.
The thought of you sitting by that window in your favorite cafe. The scent of that perfume that made his heard swirl. He loved when you sat by that window towards the back because of the way the sun made your eyes gleam, and would turn into this honey color. It made his heart turn into mush just thinking about it. His eyes peered out the window of his car hoping his driver would hurry. He couldn’t wait to see you in that dress. But, he remained calm as the cafe was only down the street.
The minute his feet landed inside of the cafe, he lost his breath. You looked beautiful as always. It was unbelievable to him how beautiful you became when he’d lay his eyes on you. He tried to catch his breath and made his way towards you. When your eyes met with his, the room spun and his heart began beating faster. Not even the most dangerous mission could make his heart beat this fast. “Hey, darling,” he barely managed to get out. When your lips broke into a smile his breathing stopped again. God, how could someone be this beautiful? “How was work?” Your words were like music to his ears.
“It was work.” Kyungsoo seperated you from work. You and his work were never in the same category. Ever. He made sure his men understood that. He’d kill a man with out blinking, but then return home to you and he’d lose his mind at how in love with you he was. Even if you wanted the details, he’d never give them to you. You were too precious to even have thoughts about his work. It was refreshing. He hated this life, but it was what his father left behind for him. He’d be damned if he didn’t continue this, too much was at stake. Too many lives were involved for him not to continue this.
What he had with you was the normalcy he wanted his whole life and he’d do anything in his power to protect it. It wasn’t hard considering, how powerful he really was. This love with you is what he dreamt about as a teenager. He stil couldn’t believe you were in love with him. If it was a dream, he’d hope he never wakes up. His fate ate him up, but he showed you all the love he could.
In front of his men he wasn’t to be trifled with, but in front of you he’d give you the world and realign the stars. The sun refelected on your eyes and his knees went weak. “I ordered you your favorite,” you said cheerfully. Good God how could you always be so amazing? His smile grew so big his eyes became tiny. He watched as a smile appeared on your lips and the world spun way too fast for him.
His world turned black as a bullet flew through and the glass of the window shattered. He watched as all the shards landed on you before the bullet struck your body. He felt himself disassociate as he watched you collapse over the table and there was crimson spreading through your favorite dress. His breathing shortened and he panted for air. This wasn’t happening. He bit on his tongue so hard that the taste of metal flooded his mouth. Was he waking up from this blissful dream? How the hell could this happen? He made sure nobody knew about you, not even his men knew your name. His screams made his ears ring and his arms wrapped around your limp body. There was dark spots flashing and he could feel himself fading out. He tried to cling on to the sweet sight of you. He greedily tried to hold on the sight of you, but the dark was seeping into his vision. Before all he could see was black he vowed to himself that who ever in their sick mind tried to steal you from him, would die at his hands. They’d have everything they loved torn from them and die at the hands of Do Kyungsoo. Whether you die or would live, this person would pay and be sent to hell personally by Do Kyungsoo himself.
A/N: sorry i don’t update or write as much as i’d like to. I’ve been so busy with school :(
~~
Byun Baekhyun was the complete opposite of you. He had so much energy, he could be the silliest, and at times could be very extroverted. You were very shy, reserved, and it always took you awhile to let your guard down and let others see the real you. Only a special few were able to see all sides of you. Although the drastic differences between your personalities, it somehow worked out beautifully. The two of you fit like two puzzle pieces that were meant to be put together.
He always made sure you felt comfortable and toned done his loudness for you.Whenever you felt uncomfortable in public he’d offer his smile and hold your hand to bring you some comfort. After quite some time you felt comfortable enough to let your guard down and let him see all sides of you, including how silly you could be. He was so grateful and happy that you felt comfortable and safe enough around him to let him see all of you. He also loved that you could be as equally silly. So whenever he was in a silly mood you’d gladly join him in all the goofiness. It was such a refreshing balance between the two of you.
However, the question he had in mind for you ate at him. Not because you’d grow angry or even say no. He was extremely considerate of potential uneasiness you’d feel in an any situation. He knew how uneasy and odd you could feel in certain situations, and he always did his best to alleviate a bit of what you were feeling. He knew you wouldn’t even hesitate to say yes to his question, but he knew that you’d feel a bit uncomfortable. The bright lights, the flashing cameras, all the unfamiliar people, and the loud cheers of the audience.
You could tell that something had been bothering him all day. You never pressured him to talk about anything he was never in the mood to, you always let him come to you when he felt ready to speak about such. But, this time he seemed a bit off and more distracted. You sat beside him and gave him a small smile. “Baek, are you okay?” You asked simply. He gave a soft smile and scooted closer to you. “I have something to ask you.. I know you’ll say yes, but I’m scared that you’ll feel uncomfortable.” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He let out a small sigh and offered a soft smile. “I’m nominated for an award and I’d like you to come with me. Is that alright?”
You laughed a bit at how cute he was. “Baekhyun, of course I’ll go with you to the award show. I know how important it is to you.” He slid his hand into yours and looked up at you. “I promise I won’t leave your side for a second. I’ll only leave your side if I win the award and have to give my speech.” You squeezed his hand gently and kissed his cheek. “Baek, I’ll be fine. You’re so sweet to me. What did I do to deserve such an amazing man?” You whispered while running your fingers through his hair. His head lay on your shoulder and a smile was on his lips.
~~
You took one last look in the mirror and adjusted yourself. You smiled at yourself in the mirror acknowledging how amazing you looked. You couldn’t wait to see how dashing Baekhyun looked in his suit. You quickly grabbed your heels and walked out of the door. As you made your way down the stairs, Baekhyun’s jaw dropped and his eyes widened. You looked absolutely so beautiful. In his eyes your beauty only grew with each time he laid his eyes on you. You gave a bashful smile and tucked your hair behind your ear. “Y- Y- You look so beautiful.” The sight of how beautiful you looked left him speechless and stuttering. You walked over to him and fixed his tie for him. “You look like a prince.” His cheeks grew a bit rosy at your words. You slipped your hand into his and gave a big smile. “C’mon handsome, let’s go get you that award!”
~~
The entire way there you had to distract Baekhyun from being a bit nervous. He was good with people but sometimes these kinds of scenes made him feel a bit antsy as well. You didn’t even have time to think about what the award show would be like because you were to busy admiring how handsome he looked, and distracting his nervous self. By the time the car was brought to a stop your stomach knotted, realizing what this would really be like. Baekhyun placed a chaste kiss on your forehead and winked. Grabbing your hands, he helped you out of the car.
The snap of the flashing lights practically almost blinded you. As soon as you had stepped out of the car there were microphones already in your face. Baekhyun did his best to shield you from all the microphones and flashing lights. He spoke wisely and answered reporters’ questions so gracefully. He even made some of them laugh. He sweetly introduced you, and you gave a small wave and smile. As you walked down the red carpet beside him he placed his hand at the small of your back. You felt your uneasiness melt away. The mere touch of him helped you calm your nerves. He constantly whispered in your ear and asked if you were doing alright.You nodded slightly, feeling better that you had him by your side.
By the time you made it into the venue you were more at ease. Luckily, the rest of exo sat at your table which made you feel better. The warmth of his hand radiated as it laid gently on your knee. The award show began and he smiled at you. His eyes were gleaming and you got lost in them. Had anyone else asked you to attend an award show and you’d most likely opt out. But, for Baekhyun you’d sail across the ocean and climb the stars. He gave you another wink and turned his head to the presenters.
The show dragged on and you and Baekhyun stole glances constantly. When it came time to see who would win the award you held his hand as you waited for the presenters to announce the winner. Baekhyun grew nervous and you gently rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb. “And the winner of the award is-” Baekhyun squeezed your hand tighter. “BYUN BAEKHYUN!”
His eyes grew wide and you shook his elbow gently. “Baekhyun! Baek!” You whispered. He looked around in disbelief. “You won,” you mouthed. His face broke out into a grin finally realizing that he had won this award. He gave you a beaming smile and made his way up to the stage. You clasped your hands together in awe of your boyfriend. You were so happy for them that you felt as if you won the award yourself. You watched as the award was placed in his hands and his eyes peered at the audience in disbelief. He couldn’t believe he had won even though he was standing on the stage and the award was in his hands.
You smiled so big when he gave his speech with such eloquence and even cracked a small joke. You cheered along with the crowd as he bowed gracefully. Your excitement and happiness for your boyfriend melted away your uneasiness. The audience cheered even louder as he made his way back to his seat. Once he sat he turned to you with his eyes wide. “I won,” he whispered still in disbelief. You smiled back at him and nodded. With every fiber of you, you wanted to kiss those lips of his, but knew that it’d cause attention from the audience. Instead you slipped your hand into his and gently squeezed his hand.
~~~~~~
As the evening drew to an ending you couldn’t help but get antsy. As much as you wanted to support your loving boyfriend, these events just weren’t your scene. You had completely gone into your own little world not realizing that the event had ended, until Baekhyun gently shook your shoulder. You looked up at him and he snickered. “It’s over. Let’s head out, love.” You took a deep breath and followed his lead. You grew more tense and practically squeezed the circulation out of his hand. You felt bad for holding his hand so tightly, but he seemed unphased and hummed to himself. Once you both finally got into the car both of you let out a huge sigh. You turned to Baek and giggled. “Let’s go for ice cream. It sounds good, and I can’t get enough of you in that dress.” He said playfully followed by a wink. You giggled some more and snuggled into his side. “You did so well, my love. Thank you for allowing me to be there with you.” You let out a chuckle at his words. He made it seem as if you had won the award. You looked up at him, finally able to do what you wanted to earlier, but with no one around but just you two. You leaned in closer and pressed your lips against his sweet tasting lips that only kept you wanting more. Despite him winning that prestigious award, he had something far more precious, your heart.
We were always reviewing his lines, practicing facial expressions, watching him practice the new dances, and helping him memorize his acceptance speeches or what he wanted to say in an interview. Everything had revolved around him lately, but I didn’t really mind. I knew this was his dream and to help him reach it meant more than words could explain.
Tonight was meant for slowing down the pace of what had felt like a million miles a minute. We had both settled on ordering take out and just spending the night in each other’s company. I was looking forward to this ever since he recommended it. We spent a lot of time together, but it was usually filled with the business of his schedules. Tonight I was supposed to tell him-
Yet, here I was dressed in my nicest outfit with cold food sitting on the coffee table. I sighed as I held on to that last string of hope that he might show up at two in the morning. I didn’t want to be angry or sad, I really didn’t. But, I felt that tiny tinge of sadness tugging on my heart. I let out a sigh and shoved the cold food in the fridge. Turning off all the lights on the way to the bedroom, I struggled internally. Sadness? Anger? Frustration? It was definitely a mix of those but I wasn’t sure what the feeling was.
I dragged my feet as I made my way to my room. I glanced once more at my phone with some false hope that he’d text or call. I was fooling myself and I knew it. I chewed on my lip and threw the phone on the other side of the bed. With one last sigh of defeat, I lay on the bed and tugged the covers over me. I closed my eyes, fooling myself once again because I knew I wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon.
~~~~~
It had been days since I had last seen or even heard from him. I knew he was busy and couldn’t help it, but we were certainly in an odd phase of our relationship. I wanted to say that I wasn’t going to confront him, but it was definitely in the back of my mind. I had texted him saying that I would come see him and bring him lunch. I already felt odd just knowing we’d be in the same room with so much tension.
I gripped the lunch bag that was in my hand as the building grew closer in my sight. I had developed this habit of fooling myself. I would hope that he’d smile as soon as he saw me, give me a kiss, and apologize for missing our date. I knew he was too preoccupied and probably didn’t even remember.
I had so much to say, so many feelings to share, and news that I wasn’t sure if I should even share with him. With out realizing my feet landed in front of the doors of the building. My hands shook as I let out a deep breath. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed his number.
“Are you here?” His voice sounded tired and I could hear the frustration seeping out of his tone. “Yeah,” I mumbled. With that he hung up and I waited for him. My eyes wandered as I heard footsteps approaching from the other side. The gray door swung open and I plastered a smile on my face.
On the other side of the door was Kyungsoo with tired eyes and in sweats and a hoodie. He gave a small smile and motioned for me to come inside. I swiftly walked in and held up the bag of food. “I brought food from your favorite place.” I said cheerfully. The small smile he had disappeared and his eyes met mine sourly. “I can’t eat that. You know I’m dieting for my new role.” I nodded slightly and chewed on my lip. I muttered a sorry and followed him in the room he was working in.
I sat beside him and looked at all the highlighted lines in front of him. “Practicing lines again?” I asked even though I already knew the answer. He nodded his head and flipped through some more papers. “Have you taken a break yet?” I asked while carefully removing his glasses from his face. They were smudged and had fingerprints on them. He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t have time, you know that.” I slowly let out my breath on each glass and gently rubbed the glasses with my sweater. “I know but even small breaks are good. At least take a short one for your sanity.” I stated while handing him the glasses.
“I don’t have time. You already know that,” he snarled while snatching the glasses from my hands. I rolled my eyes as he placed the glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I know you don’t have time for anything, but for the sake of your health you need one, Soo.” I watched as his eyes rolled and landed back on his paper. “You of all people should know I don’t have time.” I let out a snarky laugh. “I know you don’t have time for anything. You don’t have time to even make it to a date you set up!” I said letting my anger take over. “What date?” He scoffed.
I chuckled and ripped the paper from his hands. “The date you said we should have the other night! You said we should spend time together and I waited until two in the morning for you!” I knew what I was doing and I knew what would push his buttons, but I didn’t seem to care. All these emotions inside of me just bubbled out and didn’t give me a chance to try and stop myself. He snatched the papers back out of my hands and looked at me. “No one asked you to wait that long! If I didn’t show up you should’ve just gone to bed! Why are you upset if you already knew I wasn’t coming? I’m busy, I don’t have time!” He shouted.
“I know you’re busy, you don’t even have time for me! Your girlfriend!” An angry snicker fell off his lips and his hands rubbed the back of his neck. He looked back up at me and shook his head. “Not everything’s about you! I’m so damn busy and you know that!” I felt my anger swirl inside of me at the sound of those words. I stood up and stared him down. “Believe me, I know not everything’s about me. Everything’s been about you these past few months. Everything has been about you. I’ve helped you almost every single day with all your line reading and stupid facial expressions. I’ve been with you all the time doing things to help you and you can’t even bother to spend some time with me? I’ve been knowing that everything’s not about me, because you don’t even seem to care.”
I watched as his face boiled with anger and his eyes grew wild. I began walking across the room and I turned to him one last time. I pleaded with myself not to say these words. I internally fought, but I could already tell that I wasn’t going to win this. These words would end everything, end us, end him, and end me. But, the words slipped out before my idiotic self could leave. “You’re not even that great of an actor,” I hissed out.
His cheeks reddened and I watched as his chest rapidly rose and fell. “GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY FACE! GET OUT OF HERE!” I took one last look at his rampant face. I gritted my teeth and swiftly fled out of there. I knew what I just did and I hated myself for it. In the heat of all of this I destroyed everything.
My feet lead me back to my place while my mind swirled. I ruined everything and now I can’t even tell him. I sighed heading back into my apartment. Immediately feeling sick I threw myself on my bed. My head began pounding and I groaned. I hated myself. After those words I know he’d never return to me. I did this to myself. After shouting and screaming in anger, I felt tired and the world became dark and sleep tugged at me. I had already done enough while awake and gave into sleep.
~~~
It had been weeks. I didn’t expect anything from him and I didn’t even try to contact him. I did the unspeakable and couldn’t blame him if he never forgave me. I couldn’t even forgive myself. I took what he worked so hard at and practically spit in his face.
I turned on the tv and flipped through channels until his face flashed on the screen. I sat up and watched as he so effortlessly and humbly spoke to the interviewer. His eyes were so tired and his smile was false. His eyes stared blankly at the interviewer and another plastic smile spread across his face. I changed the channel and felt guilt flood me. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed.
I flinched as my phoned buzzed underneath all the blankets. I grabbed my phone and it was an unfamiliar number that rang across the screen. I had never seen this number and placed my phone back down. I shrugged and went back to the tv, but my phone kept buzzing and now going off with sounds. I rolled my eyes and picked up the phone again. The two words that were on the screen haunted me.
“It’s Kyungsoo.”
The phone buzzed again and texts and calls were flooding in. “Let’s talk.” “I need to talk to you.” “Are you there?” “This is my new number.” Can we please talk?” My hands shook as I watched the messages pop up on the screen. I quickly turned the phone off and held my head in my hands. Talk about what? How much he hated me? That he needed to collect his stuff from my place. I quickly got up and ran to the shower. The heat of the water and quietness would make me feel better. After spending what felt like hours I got out of the shower and hummed as I got dressed.
My stomach growled and I put on my slippers and made my way into the living room. My eyes bulged at the sight in front of me and I shrieked. I watched as the figure sitting on the couch turned around and faced me. “I’m dreaming I’m dreaming,” I whispered. He stood up and walked over to me. “Why’d you turn off your phone?” His tone was stern but not harsh. “How’d you get in?” I questioned while looking up at him. “The spare key under the mat.”
Our eyes locked and my heart began racing. I had to tell him even though I probably lost him. I watched as his eyes stared back at mine and I cleared my throat. “The last words I said to were you weren’t true. I knew it would hurt you and I was so upset… I know I can’t take it back and I can’t remove the anger you felt by the-“ He cut me off. “I-“ I raised up my hands to silence him. “Please listen to what I have to say. If I don’t tell you this now I’ll lose the courage and you deserve to know.” He nodded slowly and pursed his lips. I took in a deep breath and exhaled heavily.
“That night was important to me, Kyungsoo. You were so busy and I get it. You forgot, no big deal for you. But, for me it was a big deal. I was so upset and so hurt that you didn’t show up. I wanted to spend time with you and tell you what I’ve been wanting to tell you. I’ve been so scared to tell you this because I’ve always encouraged you with your dreams. That’s why I’ve spent so much time helping you and going over so many lines with you. “ My eyes watered before I could even stop myself. I knew it wasn’t my fault, it’s not like I had planned this. I stepped forward a bit and wiped my stray tears with the sleeve of my sweater. His eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed together.
“I’m pregnant.” My breath hitched in my throat and I had no words left to say. I watched as he froze at my words and then his arms pulled me into him. “While I was off chasing my dream, you stood behind me and protected it. I subconsciously cut you out of it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you felt you were threatening my dream. I’m sorry that I missed a night that probably took you more courage than you could muster up. Dreams change. I’m not sure if you want me back in your life, but please allow me to be by your side as a parent.”
Suho: He’d love that you were a writer! He’d 100% support you. Sometimes he’d come home late from practice to hear the sound of your fingers tapping away at the keyboard. He laughs to himself at the thought of the keys flying off the keyboard from you typing so fast. He knows how engrossed you get in your writing that you forget about everything else. He’ll peak into the room and mutter a “hey baby, have you eaten?” He’ll snicker at your widened eyes looking at him. He’d always make sure to bring you snacks when you start your writing so that you have something to nibble on. Or if he wants to have some time with you he’ll sit beside you and read a book and it’d be so cute. If he hears you groan bc you’re struggling with writing a scene he’ll chuckle and curl up and lay his head on your shoulder and talk with you about your scene and if you needed him to cuddle you or massage your shoulders he so would.
Xiumin: He’d get all smiley when he see’s you talking about how much you love writing. Or if you’re telling him about your characters in your story and get all excited he’d be all smiley and his heart would flutter. He’d understand that sometimes you needed your own space to really focus when you write. After you’ve finished and come back to him he loves when you tell him if you were able to figure out how to write a scene. He’d be all cheesy and tbh you’d base one of your characters off of him and that’d melt his sweet lil heart
Yixing: Ok this boy is a workaholic and is so hard on himself! But he’d feel more at ease if you were by his side. Like if he was working on some lyrics and deep in thought and you’d be by his side working on your writing. He’d feel so much better that you were working hard beside him. You would both forget to take breaks and be working hard until the late hours of the morning. But both of you would constantly praise each other for constantly working so hard. He’d always ask if he could read your writing but never pressures you bc he knows your shy about it. But, when you do share it with him he’d be !!!!!!!!! you’re amazing wow! I feel like bc of him you’d venture into poetry and experiment with different types of writing bc he’s always trying new writing styles and so you try it out too.
Chanyeol: Omg you’d both literally inspire each other! Like Yixing you’d both work beside each other completely lost in your work. He’d get frustrated and have you help him, you’d always stop your writing or quickly finish up before you helped him. Chan is always dabbling into new things and not afraid to try new things or lean new instruments. Through this you’d always have new inspiration for writing. He doesn’t know much about story writing but he knows how to tell a story through lyrics so he’d help you as well. You’d get inspiration from his lyrics and he’d get inspiration from some of your stories or stuff you’d written about
Kai: Okay he’d completely understand your passion for writing just like he’s passionate about dancing. Sometimes you’d watch him dance and poetry would pour out of you and onto a page. The words would just flow out of you. And when he’s done practicing you’d share with him your poem and he’d get all mushy and fluffy bc you used your passion and wrote about him and his passion. His heart would melt bc wow! You wrote something so beautiful about him. Sometimes you’d ask him to dance for you or show you what dances he was learning so you could get some inspiration. Tbh he’d get inspiration from you bc you look so beautiful and at peace when you’re in your zone.
Chen: He’d always cheer you on and be your personal cheer leader! If he heard you sighing or frustrated he’d immediately be like “babe you can do this! You got this! You go babe! I love you!” And that’d instantly make you feel better and you’d be able to write some more. Or if you were just having a rough day and your writing wasn’t coming out well he’d buy you your favorite snack or buy you something you’ve been eyeing for a while. “I hope this gives you some inspiration” he’d say and kiss your cheek and you’d honestly do the same for him. You’d cook his favorite food or also buy his fave snack if he was having a hard time. He’d also remind you that it’s okay to take breaks and get back into it when you get more inspiration.
Baekhyun: He’d be supportive so much as well!! If you ever felt down about your writing he’d get serious and tell you all the things you’re good that you think you suck at. He’d know how to cheer you up and be like no babe you’re writing is so good! Don’t give up honey bun! He doesn’t like seeing you beating yourself up over this but he’s always there if you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on. If you’d send him a sad emoji through text bc you were having trouble with writing he’d send a bunch of kissy emojis! You’d surprise him and write a really beautiful poem about him and he’d tear up bc you put your all into it. He’d ask if you could help him write lyrics be he loves your writing and wants to sing something you wrote bc he loves you so much!!!!!!!!!
Sehun: Sehun would always be there if you got frustrated. He’d ask if you needed a cup of tea or some sweets or a nice cuddle! He’s always busy but when he’s around he’ll ask how your writing is going and making sure you’re okay. If he’s away he’ll always text and ask how your writing is going or if you’ve come up with something new. You always asked about how things were going for him so he always made sure to check in with your writing. You wrote for fun but he knew how passionate you were about it and always wanted updates. He’d also get you to write lyrics with him so you both could mix your passions together. It’d make him feel so happy that you both worked on a piece together and now his group members were performing it along side him. He’d be the happiest boy ever
D.O: He definitely shows his emotions through his actions rather than words. So if you felt kinda down he’d cook your favorite food or bake you your favorite cookies. It would definitely put a smile on your face to see him coming in with a plate of your favorite sweets. He’d place the plate in front of you and sit beside you and smile while eating the sweets with you. Of course he’d also give you words of encouragement if he felt you really needed to hear it. If you ever came to him and let him know that you were able to get you through your writing he’d smile and pull you into his arms and whisper “I knew you could do it” and bc you’re a writer he’d go over his lines with you and ask you what things he should do to play his character better since you kind of would know since you’re a writer.
