Hey there, how are you safeguarding against abusers naming their victims as a way to separate than from their communities? (I.e. Submitting the victim's name as a way to discredit their valid claims of abuse) I know for a fact that this has happened here already and would be willing to discuss it with you in private / off anon later if you'd be willing. I'm only trying to protect those who need it by being on anon presently.
So, we as mods tend to follow a survivors first model that we’vepicked up from other survivor oriented groups we are a part of. Whatthat means is that we do not feel that it is our place to question ordispute accusations, only to share the info that we’re given. Now,does that open the door for false accusations by abusers who aretrying to smear their victims? Yes, it does, but making ourselves thearbiters of whose claims of abuse are valid and whose are not is avery slippery slope that leads us right back to the dominantculture’s model of handling survivors’ claims of abuse, rape andsexual assault.
We know for a fact that false accusations of rape and sexual assault are extremely low (only around 8%). I would venture aguess that false claims of abuse are probably similarly low. As loathas we are to ever provide a platform for abusers to attempt tofurther victimize their survivors we understand that is a necessaryrisk inherent in what we do. Also, I personally feel like there are afew things about our platform and our model that further minimizethat risk.
First, anyone is free to submit their story. If your abuser wereto send us a submission falsely accusing you of abuse that in no wayprevents you from sending us your story or us from sharing it. It’snot a race to our inbox where whoever submits first is the survivorand whoever submits second is the abuser.
Second, most abusers are chronically abusive. They burn bridgesand alienate people over and over again. They usually cannot keeppeople in their lives long term. That makes it really hard for theirspin doctoring and abuse jacketing to stick in the long run.Generally what happens, even if it takes a while, is that people willsee the truth of the matter because one of the two people involved ina dispute is continually hurting and alienating others, burningbridges, destroying relationships and being called out. And the otherhas only ever been accused of abuse by this one person who is clearlyabusive themselves. The more people an abuser hurts the strongertheir survivor’s narrative becomes.
Third, we’re not asking you to believe anything you read here.Seriously. What you do with this information is up to you. Includingwhether you believe any of it or not. All we ask is that you hear it,you don’t silence or dispute it, and that you hold onto it in caseyou or someone you care about needs it one day.
As for your statement “I know for a fact this has happened herealready…” when you say “here” do you mean on this blog? InPortland? I’m going to need clarification. Though if you arereferring to the call out we published for Max all of the mods onthis blog have personally borne witness to their abusive behavioronline or in person and can assure you that their call out was acollaborative effort involving at least 10 people.
As far astalking privately we’re always willing to receive emails at theblog’s email address: [email protected] chat through tumblr’s messenger system, but for security reasonsnone of the mods here are willing to provide personal contact info.
