Season 4 of Downton Abbey is so rough in part because they get rid of O'Brien (the instigator) and Matthew (the mediator) at the same time then try to pivot the two Thomases into those roles and it just does not work. Tom Branson is always part of the drama, not solving it, and Thomas Barrow is mostly a player not an instigator.
Summary: Tom needs to look at the Downton cars and make sure that things are running the way they’re supposed to be. Matthew joins him and as they work together Tom is able to share some of his grief. Set after 3x8. One-shot. Canon compliant.
A/N: In this fic Tom grew up in Dublin.
Tom had decided to stay at Downton, at least while Sybbie was little. And since that decision he’d felt a sense of peace about the whole thing which made it seem like it really was the right choice. There was, however, one thing he had been itching to do ever since he’d arrived back here for Mary’s wedding in the spring.
He needed to look at the cars.
Not just because he loved cars and had missed having them in his life every day. But also to ensure the new chauffeur was keeping them up to scratch. He’d taken great pride in his work on maintaining the Downton cars. The oil was always kept changed, the spark plugs were always clean, the breaks and hoses were always in good repair, and the paint never bore a single scratch. No one had ever had cause to complain about the way the cars looked or rode while he worked in the garage. They’d always been in tip-top shape and he’d often received, or heard Lord Grantham receive, compliments on the shiny surface and smooth running engine.
So far, he’d resisted the urge to butt into another man’s work and double check it. Not only was it discourteous, it didn’t really matter that much if he was impressed if he wasn’t staying around anyway. But now that the Crawleys had thrown him into a job as the land agent and he was going to be sticking around, he needed to have a proper look. So, one fine morning when he was otherwise unoccupied, Tom took a little stroll down to the garage.
The new chauffeur, an older fellow named Sam Stewart, wasn’t there at the moment. Tom rather thought that Carson had specifically sought out an older man to replace him in hopes of averting any more love matches between the staff and the household. The man was a good enough driver, but seemed to be perpetually a bit grumpy. A personality feature Tom also thought had been hired for specifically. Tom was a bit relieved that Sewart wasn’t there when he stepped intp the garage. He didn’t want to insult the man, but he wanted to have a good and proper look at everything.
Taking off his coat as he entered, Tom hung it on the peg by the door where he’d always hung up his chauffeur’s uniform jacket when he used to work on the cars. Then, going over to the first car, he began. Of course, the very first thing to be done was to give it a visual check. Tom walked around the vehicle with a careful eye toward any dents, scratches, chips, frays or other damage. He was also inspecting for cleanliness. Even a short drive to Ripon and back could get the car caked in dust, mud, bugs and other debris. As he made his way around the car at a deliberate pace, a few minor flaws stood out to him. A small dent in the taillight housing on the right side. A scratch on the back bumper that looked like the car had been backed into something solid. A chip in the glass headlight cover. Bugs not cleaned off the front grille. Things he would have taken care of immediately when he was the chauffeur.
Finishing his circling of the car, Tom paused to roll up his sleeves. If the outside looked this bad, the inside was certainly worse. Releasing the latch to the hood, Tom opened up the engine and peered inside. Just as he feared, things were dirty and corroded and some bits were just downright grotesque. Glancing around to make sure he was unobserved, Tom raided the chauffeur’s toolbox and got to work.
He may not be good for much, he certainly wasn’t going to be much use as a land agent, and probably even less as a father, but he knew cars. He knew cars like the back of his hand. One of his joys as a boy in Dublin was to read the magazines that detailed the engines of the latest cars and how they all worked. He’d read those magazines like they were the Bible. He and Kieran fought over a lot of things growing up sharing a too small bed in a too small room in a too small tenement, but the thing they fought over most were the car magazines.
That had just been the beginning. His first job after finishing school was in a repair shop. He’d worked fixing up bikes his entire childhood and when he got a chance to work with cars he’d jumped on it. He loved the way they worked and how fast they could go. He loved figuring out their problems and getting them running again. He loved very much how beautiful they looked when they were cleaned and polished.
He’d known all his life that he’d never be able to afford a car of his own, which is why he’d spent so long in jobs where he could work around them. The worst thing about moving to Dublin last year had been leaving the Downton cars behind. And of course, there were no cars for him to work on in the city. While he’d liked the job as a journalist well enough, it never scratched the itch for him that cars did.
Sybil had been so proud of him being a journalist and had insisted he keep writing even when things were getting thin for the two of them. Not that being a mechanic necessarily paid much better, but there had been times he’d floated the idea, but she’d always resisted it. In her mind it was “going back” but Tom never saw it that way.
Tom worked on the engine, first unfastening this or loosening that and then methodically cleaning each piece, part or component before reassembling it all. He also checked everything for wear or damage and replaced anything he thought looked dicey. Here in the garage Tom could finally relax. Finally, he knew what he was doing and what he was supposed to do. It was the first time in months, maybe even a year, that he felt like he could handle what was happening.
It all went so smoothly too. The Downton garage was well stocked with everything needed for maintaining the cars. Stewart, it seemed, hadn’t added much to the stock, but there was still plenty from Tom’s time as chauffeur. He’d taken a lot of care to make sure every needed part was put aside on the shelves. It had been a challenge more than a few times during the war years when rationing made certain components more difficult to find and more expensive. But Tom had always found a way to get what he needed.
As he worked, he began to hum a little tune. It was like he could think clearly for the first time since… he wasn’t sure. Certainly since leaving Ireland. Maybe even a bit before that. Things had been stressful and dangerous in Dublin. He wasn’t afraid of the cost of revolution, but there were times the violence scared him.
Tom continue his little chore, each small task making him feel lighter than he had in a long time. He didn’t want any part of the life he found himself stuck in, any part of it except for Sybbie. But this, going through the car piece by piece and fixing anything that was broken, this managed to help him forget his discontent.
“Am I interrupting?”
Tom looked over his shoulder to see Matthew. He gave a somewhat embarrassed smile as he’d been caught stealing someone else’s work. “No, you’re not interrupting.”
“Is Stewart about?” Matthew glanced around the garage as if hoping the chauffeur would appear.
“I’m afraid not,” said Tom. He continued on with his little task. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No, I was just going to order the car for Mary tomorrow. She wants to run into Ripon.” Matthew came over to see what Tom was doing. “Thinking about getting your old job back?”
Tom laughed. “There are days I wish I could. I like cars and I never hated working as a chauffeur.”
“You can’t hate being a land agent already,” said Matthew. “You’ve only just begun.”
“I wouldn’t say I hate it, I just don’t think I’m really cut out for it.” Tom looked over at Matthew. “I’m trying my best, but it’s a lot to take on.”
“That’s how I felt,” said Matthew. “Which is why I need your help, and even more, your alliance.”
“You have that in spades,” said Tom. “But when I look at all that’s involved with it,” Tom sighed, “I’m worried I’m going to fuck it up like I have everything else. And his lordship won’t thank me for re-bankrupting the place after you’ve just salvaged it.”
“It won’t come to that,” said Matthew, “because all of us are working together now.” Matthew clapped Tom on the shoulder then took off his own coat and rolled up his sleeves. “Why don’t you show me what you’re up to and I’ll help.”
Tom pointed to a selection of gaskets. “I was cleaning those up and replacing the worn ones. Once they have any roughness on them they need tossed.” Tom knew Matthew knew a fair bit about cars himself and Matthew went to work on the gaskets.
“Does Stewart know you’re out here doing this?” Matthew asked as he examined the gaskets for wear.
“No,” said Tom. “I expect he’ll be pretty pissed when he finds out. And I wouldn’t blame him I suppose. I’m not trying to check up on him or anything, I just had to see how the cars were doing.”
“And how are they doing?” Matthew began refitting the gaskets where they belonged.
Tom looked up and caught Matthew’s eye. The man seemed to be studying him. “A bit worse for the wear, I think.” Tom was pretty sure he was still talking about the car. “But nothing a little care won’t solve.”
Matthew nodded. “A little care can go a long way.” Finishing with the gaskets, Matthew moved on to the next thing. Tom showed him how he cleaned those parts in particular and Matthew set to the task. “Do you miss working with cars?”
Tom smiled ruefully. “Yes, though I suppose it’s not very proper of me to admit it. Working with cars seems to be the only thing I’m good at. I like being around them too. When something’s wrong with them there’s always a fix and things can go back together. That’s not how the world works, usually, and it’s nice.”
“Well said,” said Matthew. “But I think you’re selling yourself short. You’re good at plenty and you have both the ambition to learn and the humility to admit what you don’t know. It’s a rare enough combination.”
“You’re always trying to butter me up,” Tom couldn’t help but feel a little warmed by the compliments. “Are you afraid I’ll run out on you and leave you as the land agent if you don’t blow smoke up my ass?”
Matthew laughed. “My compliments are genuine, don’t you doubt that. And yes, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Matthew finished with his chore and put everything as it should be. “I also want you to know that as much as I depend on your alliance for the good of Downton, you can also depend on me as an ally. You may not be where you want to be, but you’re not alone by any means.”
Tom began wiping the engine block down. “I’m glad of it,” said Tom. “You and Mary, and Edith too, all of you have been very kind to me.”
Matthew was quiet a minute, watching Tom wipe the extra grease and dirt from the engine. “How are you doing, really?”
Tom was quiet even longer as he focused on scrubbing out every mark. Eventually he said, “I miss her every day more than I could have ever imagined. I can’t help but think it was all my fault and that she’d still be alive if I never went anywhere near her.” Tom stopped there, he wasn’t sure he could keep talking. If he’d never fallen in love with her, never pushed her to love him back, never taken her to Ireland where things were so stressful, never gotten mixed up with things he didn’t really understand, if he hadn’t fought with her family so much, if he’d taken better care of her, maybe she’d still be alive.
Matthew nodded and looked down at the car. “I felt very much the same after Lavinia died.” There was real emotion in his voice as he spoke. “You don’t get over it, not really. You just have to find a way to live with it.”
“There are days living seems impossible,” said Tom. “But I keep on going for Sybbie’s sake.”
“You’re a good man and a good father,” said Matthew. “She’s lucky to have you to take care of her.”
“I don’t know about that.” Tom worried constantly that he was making some mistake with Sybbie. He still didn’t know how it was all supposed to work as she got older – he wanted his daughter to be Irish, not an English lady – but he was leaving those problems for a later date. “Sybil would have been such a good mother, and it grieves me when I think of all the things she’s missing out on.” Every time Sybbie did something new, Tom would wish again that Sybil was there to see it.
“Sybil would be proud of you, I know she would.” Matthew picked up a spare cloth and started cleaning alongside Tom. “You haven’t had an easy time of it and you’ve tried hard to make the best of, frankly, several terrible situations. No one can fault you for that.”
“I have you and the rest of the family to thank mostly, all I did was fuck things up in the first place.” Tom wasn’t one to swear around people like Matthew, but there was no better word to describe it. He figured Matthew wouldn’t be too shocked though, having been a soldier.
“I’m not going to say you haven’t made any mistakes,” said Matthew, “but so have we all. I will say you’re being to hard on yourself and Sybbie’s daddy deserves to be treated better.”
Tom looked up and caught Matthew’s eye. The other man was right, of course. It didn’t do Sybbie any good to have one parent dead and the other in a constant state of misery. He had already made so many mistakes with Sybil, he didn’t need to keep down that path with Sybbie, too. “I’ll try to remember that.”
“Besides,” said Matthew, in attempt to lighten the mood, “if you’re too hard on yourself it takes all the fun out of it for Robert.”
This did get a small laugh out of Tom. Robert certainly loved nothing better than deriding someone at the dinner table. Sometimes Matthew was the target, but Tom was a well worn favorite. Tom was also aware of how much Sybil’s sisters jumped in to defend him on those days he was feeling particularly low. “I’ll keep that in mind too.”
Finishing with the first car, Tom carefully lowered the hood back into place. Waving Matthew over to the second car he said, “Do you want to have a look at this one too? We’d better be quick about it though, I wouldn’t want Stewart to find us.”
Matthew nodded. “I think between the two of us we can get it taken care of in no time.”
This is one of my favorite humor scenes. Love how Tom is so anxious about his brother he starts translating his brother's words into simpler terms so the Crawleys understand. Makes me laugh every time.
