say goodbye like you mean it | pt. one
dr. robby x f!charge nurse!oc content: 18+ mdni, swearing, vague age gap (oc mid to late thirties) words: 4.5k PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR synopsis: dana is serious about leaving, at least for a while. her replacement is bright eyed, bushy tailed, and determined to impress robby and robby is less than thrilled... but can't help but be impressed. as well as a little infatuated. a/n: this is my first fic for the pitt! idk how many parts this will be yet, but pls let me know your thoughts
“And there’s nothing I can do to convince you that this is a mistake?” Dr. Robby was looking at Dana with the softest, pleading eyes he could muster.
But Dana only smiled and shook her head, “Would you give the kid a chance first? It’s only a trial and I’ll be here the first few days and train her, alright? I vetted her myself. She was charge nurse in her own ER in Manhattan. During Covid.” She added for emphasis.
“Huh, no shit.” Robby rubbed at his beard, “How old is she?”
Dana shrugged, “I’m not sure, somewhere in her thirties?”
Just then, the doors of the ER opened and the new charge nurse walked in, securing her hair with a claw clip as she walked toward the hub.
“Here she comes,” Dana said and elbowed Robby in the side, “Be nice, please.”
“Sweetheart!” Dana said as she approached and a smile lit up her face. “Welcome, thank you for coming in.”
“Of course,” She said, looking around the already chaotic ER, “I’m eager to get my hands dirty.”
“There will be no shortage of that, I can assure you.” Robby interjected.
Finally, her eyes fell on him and her smile widened, “You must be Dr. Robby. Dana told me all about you. It’s nice to put a face to the name,” She held out a hand, “Gwen Keating.”
He took her outstretched hand in his, “Good to meet you too. Though, I don’t envy you, you have big shoes to fill,” He dropped her hand, “I’m still trying to convince Dana to stay.”
Dana glared at Robby, “I told you to behave.”
“Gwen” Robby continued, ignoring Dana, “Dana tells me you were charge nurse at a hospital in Manhattan during the pandemic. Which one?”
Her face falls marginally, “New York Presbyterian.” She says softly.
The words hit him in the chest, “My God,” He shakes his head, “You guys were basically ground zero. We learned how to use one ventilator to treat two patients from you.”
Gwen looks down at her hands which he notices are now pulling at cuticles around her nail bed, “Yeah.” She says eventually, “It was a fucking nightmare and we adapted as quickly as we could.” Then she winces, “Sorry. Shouldn’t curse on my first day.”
“Don’t sweat it, kid,” Dana said, putting an arm around her shoulders, “The pandemic was a motherfucker for all of us.”
She gives Dana a sad smile and leans into her embrace.
Robby hates that Dana is leaving. Hates it so much, in fact, he had thought about putting in his two weeks several times. But each time he had faltered. And now Gwen was here, by all accounts looking like a goddamn angel, and he thought maybe everything would be okay after all.
Robby and Dana give her the grand tour, introducing her to everyone. She’s quick to learn names and she takes diligent notes. Though she’s a trained nurse and not a doctor, Robby learns quickly that being charge nurse during covid had many doctors giving her a lot of leeway.
“We were constantly short staffed with doctors and nurses getting sick,” She shrugged, “It wasn’t uncommon for a doctor to be on speaker phone, sick at home, walking me through an intubation or a chest tube. But don’t worry,” Gwen said quickly at the look of alarm on Robby’s face, “That part of my life is over. Thankfully.”
Before he can comment, a lower abdominal GSW is rolling in and the three of them are immediately gloving up, following the gurney into trauma three.
Robby calls for Collins and Whitaker who trailed behind.
Giving the case to Collins, his eyes focus on Gwen as she reads vitals, jumps in when needed, and delegates tasks to other nurses with ease as things get more tricky. She has tools and meds ready before Collins can even ask, already anticipating how she would want to treat.
When the patient is stable and headed to an OR, Gwen degloves and walkd back over to Robby, looking a bit smug.
“So, did I pass?” She asks. Dana is grinning at Robby from behind her back.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She smirks, “So you weren’t evaluating me?”
“The person you should be trying to impress is Dana, not me.”
She scoffs, “Please. Dana is already impressed. I know it’s your approval I need to work here.”
He turns his attention from Collins to Gwen, eyes rolling carefully over her face. He is impressed. Thoroughly. But he doesn’t want her to know that yet.
“Have you ever thought about going to med school?”
“Oh, bite your tongue!” Dana snaps, “We need more nurses, not doctors.”
She laughs, and turns back to Robby, “I did, yeah. Before covid.” Again, he notices the way her face falls just slightly at the recollection of the pandemic, “But I decided I like it better in the background. As charge nurse, especially, I like all the admin work. I love working with patients, but I love taking care of my nurses and doctors more, I think. Is that awful?”
Robby’s shaking his head, “No. That’s exactly what we need from a charge nurse. A mother hen, right Dana?”
Dana had her arms around Gwen’s shoulders again as she laughed, “Isn’t she just the best?”
Robby rolled his eyes and began to walk away, “You haven’t passed yet.” He called over his shoulder.
“What?”
“We’ll see if you survive to the end of the shift.”
She laughed, “I do love a challenge.”
“Good,” Robby called back, “Because I’m very difficult to impress.”
Mateo was standing next to Dana at the hub, both of them intently watching Gwen and Robby, “I gotta hand it to you, Dana,” Mateo said as he took a bite of a sandwich from the patient bin, “You’re good. Not only have you given Robby a perfect replacement, you’re also getting him laid.”
Mateo offered Dana a fist, which Dana bumped while smiling, “Robby should be kissing my feet in thanks.”
The rest of the shift flew by with little incident. Things ran smoothly with Gwen behind the wheel. She had questions for Dana every now and then, but she was a fast learner and by the fourth hour, Dana hardly needed to do anything. She had Dana’s respect, and so she had the nurses’ respect as well. The doctors? Well, they looked to Robby first and he hadn’t yet decided how he felt about her. Though, it was clear the two of them worked well together almost immediately. And it was very clear that they had become a team when the reports of ICE being in the area started rolling in.
“What are you hearing?” Robby walked up to the hub, a bunch of nurses were around the desk, around Gwen, their phones out and scrolling.
“Reports of ICE vans in the area,” She said, looking at her own phone, “Rumors they plan to stop here.”
Robby nodded, “What do you want to do?”
Both Gwen and Dana’s eyes snapped to Robby in surprise, “You’re asking me?” She said slowly.
“Yeah. Surely you went through this sort of thing in New York. What’s the protocol?”
She stared at him for only a moment before she jumped into action, “Nurses, everyone is on a patient until I say otherwise. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure ICE does not get in here, but if they do, being in a hospital means these people are protected by the law. If it comes to it, make sure the patients know that. They do not have to speak to the officers without a lawyer. They do not have to leave with ICE unless they have a warrant signed by a judge. If that is the case, I will confirm the legitimacy of the warrant.
We do not leave a single patient unattended until we’re sure no one is coming. I know there are more patients than there are nurses, assign yourselves no more than three patients that you can cycle through every thirty seconds. No one unattended more than thirty seconds, unless a medical emergency dictates otherwise. I trust you all to make sure every patient is covered, make sure you’re communicating with each other. Doctors, if you notice a patient doesn’t have a nurse, let me know and I will assign them one. You can explain to the patients why you’re there if you like, but do not pressure anyone to reveal their citizenship status to you. It’s better we don’t know anyway. Is Ahmad around?”
“Present.” Ahmad strolls up to the hub, hands on his belt.
“Can security make sure every entrance to the ER has at least one man watching it? If ICE shows up, do not let them in, call me. I will come out to meet them.”
Ahmad looked to Robby who nodded, and then looked back to Gwen, “Roger,” he said and headed for the ambulance bay.
“Any questions?” She asked the medical professionals that encircled her, but she’s met with only silence.
“Alright everyone, you’ve got your marching orders,” Robby said, “Back to work.”
While a nurse caught Gwen in conversation, Robby watched her and Dana sidled up to him, “You know, the sky won’t fall if you admit you like her.”
Robby just glared at her before heading in the direction of Whitaker, who was flagging him down to a patient’s bed.
It was true, he was really starting to warm to Gwen. Sure, it had only been half a shift, but things in the ED moved quickly and everyone worked in close quarters which meant he didn’t need long at all to get a sense of someone. And she was the real deal, that much was clear.
It was only thirty minutes before Ahmad was paging Gwen that ICE was in the ambulance bay.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
She spun to see Robby just behind her. She had gotten used to his proximity in the first half of the shift, in fact, she was beginning to find his constant presence comforting.
“Only if you want to,” She said slowly, “Well… Yes, actually, if you don’t mind. I find they respond better to male authority figures.”
“Okay,” He started following her towards the exit, “But you take lead?”
She nods, “Of course. Thank you.”
“Officers, I’m the charge nurse here, this is Dr. Robinavitch, our senior physician. How can we help you?”
There were three men in street clothes, the tallest one in front stepped forward, “We have a warrant for a patient here, we need to be allowed inside to take them.”
“Okay, I need to see some ID and the warrant before I can let you inside.”
“We have a warrant. Let us inside now and we’ll be out of your hair.”
“I’m sorry, sir, I cannot let you inside without seeing the warrant myself first as well as some ID.”
The man made a big show of huffing and puffing before retrieving a warrant from his pocket. Gwen was conscious of Robby just behind her, shifting his weight from foot to foot. She let her shoulders drop remembering he was there. She had just met him, but felt already that she could trust him to have her back. It had been a long time since she had had that sort of rapport with a colleague, let alone a superior.
He handed the paper over and before she had time to read it, was already trying to shove past her.
“Excuse me—!” She scoffed and tried to shove him back, “Ahmad?”
Ahmad was immediately there, shoving the man back. “I gave you the warrant, let’s go!” The man snarled.
Gwen glared and took her time unfolding the piece of paper he gave her and scanning it. It took her only a moment to recognize it wasn’t a proper warrant, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you in with this. Please come back when you have a warrant signed by a judge.”
She turned to leave, ignoring the man’s calls behind her. She doesn’t see what happens next, but very quickly, Robby has put himself between her and the ICE officer.
“You touch my nurse.” He said lowly, dangerously, “And we’re going to have bigger issues. If you want access to our department, you need a warrant signed by a judge, that is the law. Not a piece of paper signed by one of your own. Until then, get off the property or we call the police.”
“Hey man,” The officer backed off almost immediately, “We don’t want any trouble.”
Gwen rolls her eyes and walks away, thoroughly annoyed, “Asshole.” She mumbles under her breath.
Soon, Robby is jogging to her side, “Are you okay?”
“Fine.” She says, “Did he lunge at me?”
He hesitates, “Yes, but Ahmad and I wouldn’t have let him touch you.”
She almost smirks, “Are you worried I’m going to get scared and bolt?”
“What?” He says quickly, too quickly, “No. No.” He said firmly, “Just making sure you’re okay.”
“Well, Dr. Robby, it’ll take a lot more than a disgruntled ICE officer to get me out of your ER.”
He smiles at her, for the first time, and it sends a flutter to her chest. He had such kind, warm eyes.
“I’ll just have to try harder then, I guess.”
She smirked as they both walked back into central, “Come on, don’t you know a lost cause when you see one?”
He smiles, but grows serious again, “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks quietly, “If you need a break or anything, I would encourage you to do so.”
Gwen shakes her head, “I’m sure you know the rate of assault on nurses?” He nodded, looking down at the ground, “Believe me when I say I’ve had much worse than an attempted hair pull. But I appreciate your concern, truly. It’s… not common in my experience for doctors to treat their nurses with the attention and care you do. To treat the nurses as equals. It doesn’t go unnoticed.” She squeezed his arm and headed back to the hub, announcing to everyone to resume care as normal.
“So,” Robby didn’t hear Collins until she was already next to him, “The new Dana’s pretty badass, don’t you think?”
“Don’t call her that.”
Collins smirked and followed after Robby when he tried to walk away, “Come on, Robby. We’ve all been watching you flirt all shift. Just admit that you like her.”
He sits at his workspace and puts his glasses on, “Did Dana put you up to this?”
“She didn’t have to. It’s more and more obvious by the second.”
Robby sighed and rubbed at his eyes, “Don’t you have patients?”
Collins rolled her eyes, but walked away without another word. In her absence, Robby’s eyes seemed naturally drawn to Gwen. The phone was pressed to her ear, but with the chaos of the ER, he couldn’t hear who she was talking to or what she was saying. While on the phone, she directed some nurses and respiratory therapists looking for patients and supplies. It was uncanny to him how fast she came up to speed, but he supposed spending years in Manhattan would do that. Maybe his ER was a cake walk to her.
Beyond his fascination with Gwen’s professional capabilities, he would be lying if he said he didn’t find her unnervingly attractive. He knew Abbott would be egging him on if he were here, practically begging him to ask her out. If you don’t, I will. He could hear him say. And he couldn’t allow that. He would ask her out for a beer later, he decided. It wasn’t like him to move this fast, to acknowledge his feelings so quickly. More than likely she had someone waiting at home for her anyway. She would let him down gently, professionally, and then he could put this ridiculous pining behind him before it had a chance to really take root. It was genius, really.
Just three hours of the shift left before he could put it to rest.
***
7:17 PM
“Well.” Gwen was standing in front of Robby as he was finishing up charting, hands clasped behind her back and rocking on her heels like a little kid. He had been watching her, so he knew she had already done her rounds with the night shift charge nurse. She had sent Dana home an hour early, insisting she could handle it solo. Dana had given Robby the I told you so look before leaving.
“Well, what?” He asked, not looking up from his chart.
“Are you impressed? Did I pass?”
He took a deep breath before meeting her eyes. She was flushed and sweating a little from the exertion of the shift. Strands of hair had freed themselves from her claw clip and either stuck to her face or hung loosely around it. Robby thought he might be more attracted to her now than he was a few hours ago.
“You did good, but it’s a long way before I’m impressed.”
She shrugged, “That’s fine, I’m very patient.”
He smiled and rubbed at his beard, “Would you… want to grab a beer with me?”
She blinked, raising her eyebrows in surprise. Here we go, Robby thought to himself and braced himself for the rejection.
“I thought you didn’t like me.”
He frowned, “I never said that.”
Gwen’s eyes narrow as she scrutinizes him and he feels himself beginning to sweat under the weight of her gaze. He wanted her to get it over with, to rip the bandaid, to say no so he could go home and drink alone in front of the TV.
But she didn’t do that.
“Yeah, okay.” She said finally.
“Y-Yeah?” He asked, mostly to confirm that he had heard correctly, “No… significant other or family waiting for you at home?”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, “Nope. You?”
He couldn’t believe it. How was it that she was all alone? “Not a soul.”
“Ok, well, I’ll meet you in the ambulance bay in five?”
He nodded, still feeling a bit in shock, “Yeah, sure.”
When she walked away, he watched her hips sway and knew he was in deep shit.
There was a familiar whistle and then a hand on his shoulder, “Nobody told me Dana’s replacement was hot.”
Robby shrugged off Dr. Abbott’s hand, “Have some respect, brother. She worked the ER during the pandemic in Manhattan.”
“The early days?” Robby nodded and Abbott let out another low whistle, “No shit?”
Robby sighed, beginning to log out of the computer after finishing his final chart, “That’s what I said. But her work today proves it, for sure. She’s a pro.”
“Why come work at the Pitt, then? She could probably have her pick of any hospital with the nurse shortage.”
“No idea. Hoping to find out now, I’m taking her out for a drink.”
“No shit!” Abbott said again, clapping him on the back, “Don’t let me keep you then, go get her Robby.”
***
The bar two blocks away from the hospital was quiet. It was a Tuesday, after all. The lighting was warm and soft and Gwen and Robby had sought shelter in a corner booth in the back.
They were sitting close enough that just a small movement would have their legs pushed together. Gwen tried not to notice, but over the 12 hour shift, she was beginning to wonder how anyone in the ER stopped themselves from having a huge massive crush on the grumpy attending with the kind eyes. She, certainly, was failing miserably.
“So, Dr. Robby, how long have you been at the Pitt?” She asked as she sipped her beer.
He sighed heavily, “I’ve lost track. probably about a decade, at least.”
“And you love it?”
His eyebrows furrow and he gives her a strange look, “That’s an odd question. Do any of us really love it?”
She laughs, “Probably the interns or med students. The way I see it, it’s like an addiction. When you’re fresh and new, nothing can beat the high of an ER shift. And then as the years pass, you keep coming back looking for that same high. And there are good moments. You save someone’s kid, or parent, or friend, or partner. But it never hits quite the same as it did the first time.” She takes a long swig of her beer, “But we still come back each shift, hoping it’ll be the shift that makes us feel the same way it did in the beginning.”
She turns her head back to Robby, “Is it like that for you, too?”
He nods slowly, watching her with awe, “Something like that, yeah.”
Silence falls between the two of them for a few moments, but it’s a comfortable one. Gwen doesn’t notice how Robby has moved marginally closer to her. They’re still not touching, but there’s only a hairsbreadth of space between them.
“Why’d you leave New York?” Robby asked finally.
Gwen chews on the inside of her cheek, peeling at the label on her beer bottle. The glass is cold and wet and the glue from the label comes off with ease.
“Um,” She said finally, “It was hard to be in the same place as I was during covid. The memories, the flashbacks. I needed a change, is all.”
Robby nods, but he thinks she’s not telling him the whole truth, “There was an almost two year gap on your resume, from 2023 to now.”
Her head snaps to him and now he knows for certain she’s definitely hiding something, “I didn’t know you saw my resume.”
“I asked Dana for it halfway through the shift, out of curiosity.”
She turns back to her beer bottle, “Does the gap concern you?”
He shook his head, “No. You obviously know what you’re doing in an ER. I just wonder why someone as talented as you would want a job at the Pitt.”
Gwen’s quiet for a few moments, “I’m from Pittsburgh. My parents live nearby, I wanted to be closer to them.”
It’s a half truth, and they both know it.
“And the gap?”
She sighs, “Look, it’s not… It’s not something that affects my work, I’m just not comfortable talking about it right now. If that’s okay?”
Robby wants to know everything there is to know about her. But he understands the hesitancy. Who was he to push her to divulge personal information when he has trouble opening up to people he’d known for years? But he would get it out of her eventually.
“Yeah,” He says after a moment, “I understand.”
They talked for a while after about anything and everything. Her parents, his parents. Jake. What types of music she listened to (she loved 90s indie rock, like the Cranberries and Smashing Pumpkins) to how their families celebrated the holidays when they were young. They even delved into religion, discovering that though they both had been raised in organized religion (her, Catholicism; him, Judaism) neither of them believed in God anymore.
“It’s funny, though.” Gwen said, after she finished off her second beer, “During the pandemic I was so desperate for guidance I once found myself wandering into a church after a shift. I sat in a pew and cried for over an hour, repeating prayers I knew under my breath.”
“Did it help?”
She shrugged, “I felt better for a couple of days after. But nothing really changed.”
He nodded, “I do something similar, even now. When I feel at the end of my rope. I think it is… meditative in a way.”
Gwen nods, “Yeah. That’s exactly it.”
They stared at each other, the mutual understanding intoxicating.
But there was still so much they didn’t know.
Gwen cleared her throat, breaking eye contact first, “I should probably be getting home.”
“Sure,” Robby said, trying to hide his disappointment, “Me too.”
They walked in step until the cool night air hit them. Gwen was so lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice the uneven sidewalk until her sneaker caught it and she went flying.
Luckily, Robby’s reflexes were sharp and he reached out immediately to catch her, pulling her to his chest, “Woah,” He laughed, “Didn’t take you for a lightweight.”
“Shit,” Gwen swore, her hands flat against his chest, “I’m sorry.”
She started to move away, but his arms were solid, keeping her secured against him, “No need.” Their eyes locked again and he felt that pull to her that had been nagging at him all day, “Am I crazy,” He said softly, “if I tell you how badly I want to kiss you right now?”
Gwen’s eyes darted down to his mouth and she swallowed, “No.”
Robby lowered his head slowly, painfully slowly, as if he was afraid of scaring her off. Gwen had said earlier that she was patient, but not that patient. She rose on her toes until their lips met. She felt his gasp of surprise, but then he was reacting. One hand on her waist, another cupping her neck as he kissed her hard and slow.
Gwen hadn’t been kissed in something like two years, and she couldn’t remember the last time she had been kissed like this, if she ever had. Robby kissed like there was no one else in the world, but them. He kissed as if he wasn’t quite sure that the sun would rise the next morning. He kissed as if the ocean threatened to swallow them whole. It was all consuming and it made her head spin.
The kiss became hungrier and Robby sucked her lower lip into his mouth, biting the flesh gently. She sighed into his mouth, but the longer the kiss went on, the louder the alarm bells in her head began to ring.
She broke the kiss, gently pulling away, “Sorry,” She said breathlessly, a hand on his chest, “I, um, I don’t think this is a good idea.”
Robby frowned at her, “If you’re worried about the job, don’t. You don’t report to me, you report to the Nursing Director—“
“It’s not that.” She said quickly, “And it’s not you, either. I…” She trails off and then meets his eyes again, “I haven’t dated or done something like this in a long time. I’m not sure that I’m ready. I’m… I’m sorry, I thought I was, but—“
“It’s okay.” He said quickly, putting his hands over hers that were still against his chest, “You don’t have to explain. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Gwen wanted to stay here. She had the overwhelming feeling that once she stopped touching him, she wouldn’t be able to touch him again. But he was stepping away already, dropping her arms and allowing them distance.
She nodded, “Yes. Tomorrow.”
His eyes roved down to her mouth and then back up to her eyes, “Goodnight, Gwen.”
And then he was walking away. She watched his figure as he walked down the road, never turning back, until he turned right and disappeared behind a building.
She closed her eyes and sighed, “Fuck me.”
PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR
