So yesterday I posted about the damage and toll this whole Catfish Connor thing has taken on me. That I was going to try to move on.
Its not going so well. Last night I had a really weird dream that I rode a train to go see him, and when I got there we went to a playground. In the dream we played like children in our adult forms. We laid on the marry-go-round and spun around and around. We talked and I asked him why he deleted his facebook and left me in the dark. Why he didn’t give me a reason or tell me goodbye. He told me he couldn’t tell me. I stood up and started walking toward the swings and when I turned around he was gone.
Weirdest dream I have ever had. And that’s not the first one he’s been in.
I used to dream about him before he stopped talking to me too, and I would tell him about it because usually it was something funny.
Like us fighting zombies, or running around a creek to start little tikki fires on top of the rocks that weren’t completely under water.
Back then his face was clear, I felt like in those dreams I could actually see him. But last night it was hard to make out his face, it was blurred and dark.
Today marks exactly 1 week since he deactivated his account.
Exactly 1 week since I lost a friend I never really had.
What I don’t understand is where he got all those pictures from.. they were all of the same person. I just don’t think they were acutally him.
I have so many questions and so many things to say.
I wonder if my catfish thinks about me.
If he or she wonders how I’m doing with this.
If he or she will ever message me again pretenting to be the doe eyed boy.
When we were talking he told me so much about this made up life. How old he was, where he lived, who he lived with, that he was going to college, where he worked, his birthday, favorite color.. ect.
I even went so far as to look up the Olive Garden in Pa. I got the phone number and almost called to ask if a Connor DiCristo worked there. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. If I call and they give me the answer weather it be yes or no I’ll still be full of questions.
Still have no contact with him.
He has the link to my blog, I trusted him enough to give it to him a while back. I wonder if he reads any of this. Somewhere sitting reading about how badly he has confused me..just not caring.
Or maybe he does care, and just feels like after all this he can’t contact me because of personal reasons.
I was scared of this happening again. When I looked to see when his facebook was made it said 2012 and I thought that it would be fine. Apparently these people plan ahead like crazy.
Actually researching the place he “Lived” the place he “worked”
Maybe the person does live there… they just arent Connor.
I miss him. I miss having someone to share things with.
