“I have been screwed up, messed around and I'm slowly falling into the ground from the pain that I have received. My entire life no one has told me how to deal with any pain that will come my way including heartbreak, loss or anything that could hurt me badly. Right now, I have lost, felt heartbroken and pushed people out of my life because I don't know how to control what I feel or what to do in order to deal with this. Im lost and confused but I am learning. I am going to take every day as a chance to change that, I will learn on my own, feel the way I should and make sure I am able to be empowered by being alone and know how to control my feelings. I lost myself throughout this process trying to figure out what to do and losing someone as well as being hurt by the person you love. I have no clue where to begin but I will try, Im starting a new leaf next month which is University and moving away. I tried to hold onto people who meant the world to me and who I wanted to stay in my life for as long as I could and it only made it worse by pushing them away further apart from me. I keep on telling myself If I shut down I will lose EVERYTHING, Its a way of saying I will turn my emotions off, I will become someone who Im not and definitely I will lose focus on whats real. I don't want to I really don't but being emotional with a naive personality as well as a broken, sad little heart which still cares so much about everyone and everything will keep on getting me hurt but then again if I lose that I will lose myself and I will blame myself. So right now and every single day I will be working towards building up myself, learning to control emotions and speaking about what I am going through to be able to see how I change for the best. I am not the only one I get it, but I am telling each and everyone even when you are in the darkest most deepest place in your life there is still hope you just have to find that little light, I know I don't believe that everything will be perfect and great. I just know that I will try and I hope you do to as it will get better, we learn from our mistakes, heartbreak and pain thats what makes us become who we are”