LittleMissMaddy @missmadeleine95 - Tumblr Blog

katie-mcgrath

Is it all right to hit a Nazi unprovoked?

writeradamanteve

Fuck, yeah.

xiaq

This man is the real MVP.

sugarbabediaries

Sugar Baby Friends

I absolutely love the idea of sugar babies making friends with other sugar babies. So here’s the thing. Reblog this if you are a sugar baby, and I will slide into your DMs and we will be friends, okay? 😊

debrides

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

lesbirdan

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

hermionegranger

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

thomrainierskies

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

mirab3lle

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

icouldwritebooks

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

crimeronan

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

agrestenoir

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

grimmseraph

I used to work super early mornings stocking at A.C. Moore (5am, store doesn’t open till 9am) so my brain doesn’t always work when helping customers.

I help a lady and as I walk away I turn to tell her “If you have any questions, just ask” but it mixed with “it was no bother” and proceeded to tell her “If you have any questions don’t bother asking” I had to stop in my tracks and proceed to apologize as she started laughing at my confusion

softlenaluthor

motherearthsign

what is the difference between falling in love and having a crush

if they get a haircut and they’re ugly it’s a crush

weezley

that’s a weirdly valid point

mysticcoyote

Morgan Freeman Narrates Himself Playing Pokémon Go

aresmarked

[Morgan Freeman]“The moment he discovered his first Growlithe, Morgan Freeman realised he would never care about the real world ever again.”

kinu01

artichoke-that-hoe

I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING BUT

couldbekash

Jesse Williams’ Humanitarian Award Acceptance Speech.

eugeniedanglars

a list of soothing things on the internet that i haven’t seen on other self-care posts yet

note: links with autoplaying sound are marked with italics.

zoomable version of xkcd #1110 “click and drag”: giant explorable black-and-white landscape filled with countless little details and treasures. (note: the first three panels disappear after you start clicking and dragging.)

keaton henson’s “procrastinate” page: click on different parts of the image to activate different sound effects and build a quiet lil song. all of the sounds are things like acoustic strings and humming and droning noises that layer together really beautifully.

bob ross’ “the joy of painting”: there are hundreds of full episodes on youtube (not all from this channel) and they’re all amazing. honestly, you don’t even need sound on the videos–you can just mute them, turn on some peaceful music, and watch a painting happen.

the colour my series: 5 simple flash games (or, more accurately, 4 games and 1 semi-interactive animation) about bringing love, hope, and color to a black and white dystopia. the third game contains horror and multiple jump scares, but the rest of the series is very optimistic, gentle, and loving. the tvtropes page (which i linked to) has links to and more detailed descriptions of each installment.

the nicest place on the internet: just a bunch of videos of people giving you a hug through their cameras while a lullaby plays in the background. it sounds cheesy but i find it weirdly comforting.

time lapse videos: the youtube playlist i linked to there has some really good ones, but you can search for others as well.

do nothing for 2 minutes: exactly what it says on the tin. just sit there, listening to the ocean, not touching your computer, for 2 entire minutes. there’s no punishment for stopping before the 2 minutes are up–the timer will just reset–but i definitely recommend waiting the whole time to really clear your head.

the thoughts room: type all of your thoughts, worries, and frustrations into the night sky, and watch them light up stars before falling away.

feel free to add your own favorite comfort/self-care internet things.

bohoindiegrunge

krazykatie28

This is so true… I am such a darker person on tumblr.

missmadeleine95

Yeah....

The whole world changed the day Leo won an Oscar…

trovaloteunnome

“Good Night Sweet Girl” Are we done for now, Or is this for good, Will there be something in time? With us there should. Only girl for me is you There can be no other one If I didn’t have faith I would come undone So much promise in your eyes Seems that I can only see It always makes me wonder If you save it all for me Maybe you do Maybe you don’t Maybe you should Probably wont… Because there will be… There will be other guys Who will whisper in your ear Say they’ll take away your sadness And your fears They may be kind and true They may be good to you But they’ll never care for you More than I do I’ll be always there There to the end I can’t do much But be your one true friend To the end To the end Our lives to spend With each other till the end Of time… Still see the promise in your eyes And still wonder if it’s for me But I know it’s still there Even when you sleep So I say, good night sweet girl