"Si no existieras, yo te inventaría" TELL ME ABOUT THAT FANFIC, NINA
I’m writing this, PLEASE don’t steal my ideas or reblog this as “someone write this” or “I’m gonna write this” or “prompts”/”ideas” because it’s not. I’m writing it, lol.
Title from Tú O Nada/O Tú O Ninguna by Luis Miguel, translates to “If you didn’t exist, I would imagine you”. Title may change to “En la boca llevarás sabor a mi” that translates to “In your mouth you’ll have my taste” or “Your mouth will taste of me”, from Sabor A Mi by Luis Miguel.
Ryan shares an apartment with his brother Jake, and Shane has just moved to their building. Ever since Ryan saw him for the first time, he’s been giving him the eyes while Shane is not looking.
He finds the crush funny, so he speaks in spanish to Jake every time they see him in the elevator, saying cute things like “Es tan lindo” (”He is so cute”) and slowly starts saying shit more… not so cute like, “Papi hermoso, me lo voy a comer” (Mmmm.. The way we use the word ‘papi’ is different from how you guys THINK we do, so the literal translation would be like “Beautiful daddy, I’m gonna eat him”, I honestly don’t think I can translate the power of that phrase in spanish to english lol).
This starts happening every day for it seems their working hours are similar, so Shane smiles at them and waves at them. They go as much as to say good morning, afternoon and night, but never anything else and Jake is starting to get tired of “Ugh, ahí va El Hombre Cuapo” (”there goes The Handsome Man”).
What he doesn’t know is that once, little after Shane moved and Ryan had started saying shit in spanish, Jake needed help with groceries and Shane helped him out, speaking perfect spanish with him, to what Jake could only open his eyes like O_O and started to apologize for his brother. “I think it’s cute, don’t worry” (after telling Shane that, nah, they are americans– they just mess around in other languages from their family’s multiple cultures).
Turns out, Shane knows many languages as well and spanish is one of them. He was too emabarrassed to tell them the few first times, and after that it was just… more embarrassing.
Jake finds the situation way too funny, saying he won’t tell Ryan because this is too good. Shane accepts it because he finds no harm in Ryan’s compliments.
Then it got dirty and he is too embarrassed to say the truth, knowing it will be weird that he didn’t say it earlier.
He also kinda likes Ryan. Jake knows. He is still waiting when one of them will stop being stupid and ask the other out.
Shane is known as El Hombre Guapo (The Handsome Man) in Ryan’s cousin’s chatgroup, which means the entire family knows by now.
The Bergara Cousins Chatgroup is a Discord group where they are often insulting each other in tons of languages but mostly spanish. They also keep bothering the Johnsons (whose mom is a Bergara) and the Super White Bergaras (brother and sister whose dad is Bergara but where born extra whitepassing).
The Cousins From México™ are also there, they have terrible english but are always saying they should go visit, so every time they are bantering, someone will say “WE SHOULD GO TO MEXICO!” and it’s just some joke between them.
Jake and Ryan use “we should go to Mexico” outside the chat and people Look at them from time to time.
The age between them all is very strange, so there’s a smaller group with cousins more Ryan’s age, some with the older ones and the younger ones that are around Jake’s. Jake and their cousin Alice are the younger ones.
All of them are always bothering Ryan with when is he asking El Hombre Guapo out, and his female cousins are always giving him like 30 different advices at the same time, it’s insane.
They do use audio on weekends and when it happens, it’s the worse thing ever with all the different accents, good and bad english, good and bad spanish, and every other language.
They play videogames sometimes, so they use the audio channel for that, and those who don’t play sometimes enter just to make the others angry.
When one of them gets online and they are in the audio chat, cousin Rogelio from Mexico will sing “ya llegó el cara de verrrrgaaaa” (”the dick face is here”) and make everyone laugh.
When they were all teens, they used to hate the Bergara Situation aka the fact that their last name sounds like “verga” which means dick in spanish, so at least one of them was always being make fun of it. They take it with humor now, which means a lot of “hijo de la VERRRGA, cierra la boca” (”son of the dick, shut your mouth”) and so.
No white person will ever understand.
Ryan is known as Mirrey, which is like a mexican fratboy.
Once Ryan was in the elevator with Shane, and they were so fucking awkward, he had to run to his apartment and call Helen to let her know he is an idiot. Helen enjoys this way too much.
Ryan’s aunt, who speaks zero english, visits them from Mexico with her family and his parents decide to spend the afternoon and night at his place because none of them has seen it yet. That day, while in the elevator, Shane helps their aunt with some stuff she was carrying. Ryan is about to say thank you when his aunt starts talking in spanish aND SHANE ANSWERS HER PERFECTLY AND RYAN WANTS TO DIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE.
That same day he was lowkey telling Jake Shane was Too Much with the beard and was being kinda dirty about it, making his brother shook his head and Shane want to die.
Jake can’t stop laughing after this. Their aunt doesn’t understand anything. Shane winks at Ryan while going to his apartment.
