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Thinking about Them...

The way Strasser/Connie looks at Renault/Claude, though.

#i'll never get tired of just how huge his crush on him is #conrad veidt #claude rains #ingrid bergman #paul henreid #casablanca #slash slash slashety slash #fagablanca #forever #notp notp notp #i will ship it in hell #also look how ridiculously tiny that chair is for giant tall gangly connie #considering he and paul were the same height i'm surprised they got paul a more proportionate one

Claude Rains and Conrad Veidt in Casablanca (1942).

Click here for HQ.

#claude rains #conrad veidt #casablanca #fagablanca #old hollywood #yes you've all seen this picture but never in this res #you can even see the moles and the hair on the backs of their hands #that's how nice this one is #took me forever to piece this together from the source i got it from though #ten different pieces in photoshop *flops*#but what wouldn't i do for my sob-laughter-inducing notp of all notps #life goals: still to one day be as pimp as claude rains #i love these two so much gdi

Even if it’s cropped, this shot of Renault and Strasser on a date hasn’t shown up in such a huge res before. So here you go: click through or here for HQ.

#conrad veidt #claude rains #casablanca #fagablanca #notp notp notp #honestly every goddamn time i see this i do a double take because it looks like they're holding hands #but renault's hand seems to be busy elsewhere #i love these two sfm

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#conrad veidt #claude rains #and is that the italian officer dude? i know it's not bogie #casablanca #fagablanca #well speaking of #stupid sexy strasser #being desperately in love with his little french fireball #here we fucking go...#hq is hq so you might want to wear a condom #i mean connie's eyefucking is pretty much turned up to eleven here #i feel like i could get an std from strasser just from looking at this picture for too long #it's pretty... penetrating #like jesus every time i see these two together i hope claude let connie at least suck him off once in the gents #the man was fucking desperate

LISTEN UP guys, I have a MAGNIFICENT Casablanca/Doctor Who crackpot theory/headcanon.

Namely, what if–what IF these two were, in fact, our renegade Time Lord hatesex OTP in disguise? Meaning, Renault some ruthless bastard regeneration of the Doctor (the fuckin’ chessplayer he is) and Strasser the dumbest incarnation of the Master ever (regeneration or a stolen body, it doesn’t matter). Like, you know how Renault basically manipulates the entire goddamn plot of the movie and pwns the entire thing? The main important thing (besides the Rick/Ilsa romance) is that they get Laszlo the fuck out so he can keep on fighting for the Resistance. So maybe the Doctor realised that somehow, the Allied victory in WWII rested ENTIRELY upon Laszlo’s shoulders, and on Strasser’s failure, in some timey-wimey way, so he had to come and make sure Laszlo got out and the Nazi Scumbag Master was defeated.

I mean, it’d explain the shitton of ridiculous hot gay UST between the two as well, particularly from Strasser’s part. And Renault’s intelligence and magnificent bastardness and his playing the morally ambivalent little shit all the way until the end, when everything's finally been sorted out. And don’t tell me these two weren’t fucking in Renault’s office in between.

See? This explains so, so much.

#don't worry--as you can see heinrich here fancies you anyway #claude rains #conrad veidt #casablanca #fagablanca #connie's face though #especially before claude goes past him #like what the fuck do you think you are playing this as?!?#a besotted schoolgirl?!?#notp notp notp #and yet it happened #right over that desk #strasser blurging desperately for renault's thick french cock

#and speaking of old hollywood couples who need to get a room #conrad veidt #claude rains #casablanca #fagablanca #STOP STARING AT HIS MOUTH WITH YOUR BIG CAT EYES #'oh hov i vizh your mouztazhe vould rub agenzt mine my deaw wenaut'#stupid sexy strasser

#fagablanca

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