Apr 22
His ass has not touched a creator owned comic in YEARS
seen from United States
seen from Finland
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from South Africa
seen from Australia
seen from Australia
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
His ass has not touched a creator owned comic in YEARS
. . . that way he wouldn't have to feel this way, this awful terror at comprehending his own failure.
Brandon Taylor, from The Late Americans
2023 Tumblr Ultimate Fail Son Competition Round 1: Aaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman vs. Todd Chavez)
AARON PAUL IS A EXTREMELY TALENTED AND SUCCESSFUL ACTOR KNOWN FOR PLAYING HOODIE-HOLDIN' BEANIED-BUFFOONS WHO GET MANIPULATED, MAN-SPLAINED, AND MALE-WIFED BY OLDER SHITTIER MEN WITH EGOS LARGER THEN LIFE (OR WHAT LIFE THEY HAVE LEFT)
FROM BLUE GLASS TO COTTON CANDY, THE SANDS OF ALBUQUERQUE TO THE STARS OF HOLLYWOO, TWO AARON PAUL PERFORMANCES ENTER, ONLY ONE LEAVES.
Jesse Pinkman vs. Todd Chavez
Jesse
Todd
Also I hope my MGS fans watching this are relieved to know that upon my research (this thing took me days to organize) I was horrified to discover that REVOLVER OCELOT is more of a FAIL SON than a MEOW MEOW while OTACON is more of a MEOW MEOW than a FAIL SON it’s fucked!!!
2023 Tumblr Ultimate Fail Son Competition Round 1: Rage Boys (Fire Prince Zuko vs. Kylo Ren)
alright guys.
kill each other.
Fire Prince Zuko vs. Kylo Ren
Zuko
Kylo Ren
2023 Tumblr Ultimate Fail Son Competition Round 1: Holy Fuck Ups (Asriel Dreemurr vs. Jesus Christ [of Jesus Christ Superstar])
OH BLESSED ARE THEE THAT THEE NOT BE CURSED WITH SONS SUCH AS THOU, THAT YOUR WOMB AND YOUR PEEN LAY NOT SIEGE TO SUCH AS DISAPPOINTMENTS AS THIS, THAT THEY NEVER KNOW THE HORRORS OF A DEATH BED WITH THE FAILURE THOU SPAWNED ONTO THIS EARTH GLARING DOWN BACK AT THY
OH OH WHAT WRETCHED ACCURSED BEASTS WE MUSR BE FOR SUCH POSSIBILITIES TO EVEN PLAGUE OUR IMMAIGNATIONS
HAVE THE HEAVENS FORESAKEN US? HATH GOD FORGOTTON HIS OWN LAMB BEFORE THE FLOCK, AWAITED BY HUNGRY WOLF OF OPPERTUNITY?
Asriel Dreemurr vs. Jesus Christ (of Jesus Christ Superstar)
Asriel
Jesus
2023 Tumblr Ultimate Fail Son Competition Round 1: Baby Bitch Boy (Jesper vs. Zephyr Breeze)
THE THREE DREADED Bs, BABY, BITCH, BOY!! tHESE MOTHERFUCKS CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR THEM FUCKING SELVES AND EVERYTHING THEY HAVE ANYONE ELSE DO IS COMPLETELY SELF-SERVING, ISN'T IT WWIERD THEY'RE BOTH BLONDE?
UNEMPLOYED COUCH SERVING HACKS WHO HAVE TO RELY ON FAMILY CONNECTIONS TO GET THEIR FOOT, OR HOOF IN THE DOOR, ALL WHILE SIPPING ON CHAMOMILE TEA AND SENDING DICK PICS ON INSTAGRAM! THEY MAIL NEVER FAILS BUT GOD DO THESE FUCK UPS FAIL!
Jesper vs. Zephyr Breeze
Jesper
Zephyr Breeze
2023 Tumblr Ultimate Fail Son Competition Round 1: Spoiled Stupid (Dandy Mott vs. Prince Charming)
AH TO BE BORN IN THIS LIFE UNTO A FAIL SON OF PRIVILEGE, TO HAVE SUCH ACCESS TO WEALTH AND SUPPORT YOU NEVER EVEN HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO REACH FOR IT, FOR THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL, THE VALUE OF A LIFE
THESE TWO FUCK WITS ARE AS DEPENDENT ON THEIR MOMMIES AS THEY ARE DERANGED IN THE BRAIN, THEIR DUMB AND DANGEROUS, PACKING THEIR WEALTH AS A WEAPON.
FROM KILLER CLOWN TO PSYCHO PRINCE THESE TWO BADDIES ARE ABSOLUTE FUCKING BABIES
Dandy Mott vs. Prince Charming
Dandy
Charming