Not sure how to answer? Maybe you’re a little confused as which rights are meant here or just that we don’t really give or are keen on fulfilling the rights of others upon us? My dear sister in Islam, this is an open letter for you and a genuine reminder for the brothers. Today, I chose this story to share to address an issue we often neglect or are not so keen about it. For example, a lot of brothers are keen to marry a second wife - don’t get me wrong - there’s nothing wrong with that as Allah has made it permissible while also some sisters are in a rush to marry someone to the extend that they would agree with certain conditions that would eventually lead such marriage into a failure. _____ Have you heard of the lady who refused the marriage proposal of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ? Quite fascinating, right? - as who wouldn’t want to marry the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ during his time? What do you think would stop such woman from marrying the best of all creations? Curious to know, then read on. _____ There was a lady named Fakhitah or more knowingly as “Umm Hani”, she was the daughter of Abu Talib Ibn Abdul Muttalib and Fatimah bint Asad Al Hashimiyah - the uncle of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and was the full sister or biological sister of Ali Radiyallahu Anhu.
Umm Hani Radiyallahu Anha was known for her intelligence, beauty and jealousy. She was married to Hubayrah Ibn ‘Amr from Banu Makhzum. She was younger than the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and embraced Islam at the time of the conquest of Makkah.
During the conquest of Makkah, Hubayrah - her husband - fled to Najran and later on died there. With this, Ali RA finally made his moved and spoke to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ about marrying Umm Hani. He ﷺ took the advice of Ali RA and went to propose to Umm Hani.
Umm Hani replied:
“Verily, you are dearer to me than my own self but the rights you are due are great and I now have orphan children. I fear that if I am busy trying to fulfill your rights that might harm my children’s rights and if I am busy tending to their rights that might harm your rights.”
With this response of Umm Hani, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ became amazed and happy that he further praised the women of the Quraysh by saying, “The women of Quraysh are the best amongst the womenfolk, they show affection to their children and zealously guard the wealth of their husbands.”
______
Subhan’Allah, look at how the people before us honored the rights of people upon them and look at how we neglect such rights these days. Astagfirullah. Take a moment to ponder about the character of Umm Hani - nothing prevented her from marrying the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ other than her fear of not being able or being unfair in fulfilling the rights of a spouse and her children.
My dear brothers and sisters in Islam , let me ask you - have you taken in consideration such things when thinking about marriage?
To my brother in Islam who intends to remarry or marry, have you thought of the importance of fulfilling the rights of your soon to be bride or are you one of those who just wants to do it and get over the nikkah already? How about your kids, if you have any, have you thought about their rights?
To my dear sister in Islam who intends to be married, either to a single brother or to someone who already has commitment, have you thought of such? If you are someone with kids already, have you thought many times about their rights upon you before considering the thought of marriage again?
Indeed, these days temptations are everywhere and are threatening marriages here and there. However, I ask you, do not treat marriage as a game or is something that you would eat and if you didn’t like the taste you will easily spit out.
Marriage has been made very easy in Islam but we should not take advantage of it by deceiving others by guaranteeing or making false promises just so we get the approval of the other side. This wonderful act of bringing two souls together comes with big responsibilities, always remember that.
I know a lot of us think that marriage would save us from a lot of fitnah - that is true - but this is not the end of the line my dear brothers and sisters in Islam - we are not merely created to marry someone rather we are created to worship Allah. There are people who live happily without spouses because they have Allah in their lives while there are many married couples who live a life full of hardships and trials because they make Allah their last resort or that they have forgotten Allah after Allah has caused them to be together in this dunya. Which one would you like to be? Is it not best if we are amongst those who found love in this world that have created a stronger connection with Allah? Choice is yours. ______ And we pray that we become amongst the likes of Umm Hani when it comes to fulfilling the rights of people around us and make us realize that Allah is our best resort and not the last. Amin Umm Umar Khaled ______
Story was taken from
[1] Sahih Al Bukhari 3434 [2] Sahih Muslim 2527