#fall previews

[imwithgeek]

by William John It's that time of year again where many of our favourite US shows are coming to a close, some leaving us desperate for more, and others wondering why we bothered. Arrow faced off...

[jayblanc]

It's the last days of August and summer are drawing to a close. Soon it will be my Birthday and I must mark another cycle of the years. So you know what that means... It's Time To Snarkily Comment On American TV Fall Previews! The Flash. Oh no, poor Uncle Ben! Wait, wrong comic book. Wow, they're really trying to make this show look like it's a Christian Bale movie. I mean, not that I've seen the leaked pilot that's actually much more light hearted and geeky appealing. At least this time they have real super powers in the Arrow spin-off. Is it right to call this a spin off from The Arrow? I mean, doesn't The Flash pre-date the Arrow in the comic books. But hey, first episode cameo! Which maybe they shouldn't have spoiled in the trailer? Opinion: Will watch. Still not admitting that I might already have watched. Gotham. Oh no, poor Uncle Ben! Wait, wrong comic book. Wow, they're really trying to make this show look like it's a Christian Bale movie. Uh... Whoa, Deja Vu. It's a Batman TV show but Batman is only a kid, so it's all about the Cops, but actually it's all about the kid who isn't Batman yet we're not sure how we were supposed to focus this hey look at all the future villains who are not yet villains either... What time period is this set in? The Depresion-Era-Only-It's-The-80s-But-With-Airships? That's a cohesive time period right? Wait, is the older version of not yet Batman going to show up in Arrow and The Flash now? I'm not sure if I want that! But I want that! Opinion: Will watch. Will kvetch. Will point fingers of blame for the smallest of issues. Constantine. Oh no, poor Uncle B... OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SERIOUSLY? Basically, this is Supernatural, but there's only one of them and he doesn't have a car of his own. Also it's actually based on the comic that Supernatural et al have been cribbing from for years. Note for people not British, that accent is a Welshman putting on an oddly generalised accent that includes some regional tones but for which the Amerians won't need subtitles. Opinion: Sure, okay, put it on the pile with the other Comic Book adaptations. State of Affairs. Finally, something that isn't a Comic Book adaptation I will be obliged to watch. Sad Music over Sad Introduction Sequence. Which then segues into a weird mix of Grey's Anatomy and Zero Dark Thirty. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's how this was pitched. And there's a TWEEEEEEST! A TWEEEEST! OOOOO THE CONSPIRACIES! Opinion: Pass. Do not care. So much do not care. Utopia, the only Reality TV show of the Previews. And it's A TOTALLY NEW CONCEPT NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE that they are telling us about by using footage from the Dutch version that ran last year. In the TOTALLY NEW CONCEPT a bunch of people are put in the wilderness for real and have to build a community, kind of like the BBC did with Castaway 2000, only with Americans and it's not an freezing cold Island in the north sea, and they get a hot tub for sexy times instead of a herd of sheep. Opinion: TOTALY NEW CONCEPT!!! Talking of new TV shows, Gracepoint is the american version of Broadchurch. You even have David Tenant in it again. But he has an american accent now. Is it really that hard just to watch Broadchurch. It's actually in english you know. It's not even like it's a weird thing like Dr Who, it's about a Murder Mystery. Is the presence of cups of tea instead of coffee too alien? Also, 'Gracepoint' sounds like an iOS app. Opinion: Uh... You know, I really should get around to watching Broadchurch. Redband Society: Real Issues. Real Problems. Real Humour. Fake Children's Hospital. Not at all mawkish exploitation of easily emotive presentation of critically ill children. Based on what a TV executive heard someone else explaining about that movie based on a John Green book. Narrated by a boy in a coma. That last part is not me making a snarky joke. Opinion: This is where I put the tacky joke about it being taken off life support. John Mulaney has a sitcom. I've never heard of him. He's been on SNL I guess? It's also a self-referential one about being a Comedy Writer doing the quip lines for a gameshow. Can I have "Pretty lazy premises" for 100 dollars? Opinion: Lorne Michaels is a producer. Which means nothing. Wait and see. I hear that there was a TV show titled STALKER, and man I was so ready for a show based on the Soviet Science Fiction work "Roadside Picnic". But no, it's a police procedural about a made up law enforcement office with an acronym that focuses on one particular kind of crime. There's a female lead, and a male lead. They have quirks. Opinion: Sorry, I fell asleep. Forgotten the premise of this show already. Move along Stalker. Super-Geek "Scorpion" leads an elite team of hackers and thieves get forced to become Homeland Security Agents to stop a threat that... blah blah blah. You know the drill. There's probably an over-arching conspiracy of some kind that'll come out at the end of the season. Hah hah, OCD people are funny. Also episode premise is based on the idea that if you deleted a single airport's server software, all the planes trying to land there would crash. Opinion: Last TV show I refused to watch any more of because the writers DID NOT KNOW HOW AIRCRAFT WORK was Revolution. It got two seasons, so what do I know? NCIS opens their new franchise in New Orleans. Come on down for the comfort food and old-timely charm. All your favourite recipes, plus the new flavour of TV's Scott Bakula. Opinion: Dwayne Pride? Seriously, Dwayne Pride? You seriously named your lead character Dwayne Pride? Madam Secretary is probably the heavy gravitas TV show that State of Afairs was cobbled together to mimic. Or, or, it might be the other way around. Who knows with the way the creative business works. So, this TV show examines the possible future where we might see a female Secretary of State. How will she balance running the US's State Department with her fashion choices, kids and being a Lady. Opinion: Actually might watch this one, assuming that the trailer/pilot was just forced into being kinda sexist by having to do the 'establish the entire character premise up-front' thing and thus loading all the "Oooo, she has a family" stuff in. I don't know what's more awkward about The McCarthys, the show premise of a gay-guy who doesn't understand sports living next door to his Boston parents and siblings who are all about sports and have attitude but they love him, or the canned laughter. Opinion: I decided they're both equally awkward. The Mysteries of Laura. Based on Spanish series. Someone explain to me why a Women cop with kids has to juggle life and profession on TV shows, but a Guy cop has kids so they can be moments of pathos at the end of  a hard day's work. Opinion: You did no favours to your show by TELLING ME WHO DID IT IN THE TRAILER. Marry Me is clearly being placed as the spiritual successor to HIMYM, but... uh, actually it's quite possible they could make the premise here work. Or it could be awful. But there's no laugh track, and they play it as a straight presentation of comedic situations which is really rare to see on US TV. Opinion: Yeah, you know what, sure, I'll watch this one to see how it works out. And not just because of the guilty secret weakness for romantic comedies I Do Not Have. A to Z is all about the stereotypical meet cute of a non-threatening male figure and the manic pixie girl who... I do not have a guilty secret weakness for played straight romantic comedies, I do not, I Do Not. Damn You. JUST PUT IT INTO MY EYES NOW. Opinion: Damn you. Manhattan Love Story... Ah ha, no, not even the secret guilty weakness I do not have can convince me that I will enjoy watching horrible stereotypes including "Girls are super interested in handbags" and Men are horn-dogs; wedged into a "Comedic Premise" that their thoughts are all narrated. Opinion: Pass. Okay, I'll give you this Forever, having your quirky intuitive-detective's quirk be that he is a secret immortal, is a pretty quirky quirk!  Opinion: Yes. Of course. Of course I want to see what they do with this idea! Selfie is... I don't know. I see that it's an updated version of Pygmalion, but seems to kind of miss the point of Pygmalion by doing it in reverse. Can the audience care enough about the vapid obnoxious lead long enough that they care when she transforms into... What we may as well assume is going to be a geeky manic pixie girl. Opinion: Pass. At least Karen Gillan has a movie career instead. Ladies and gentleman, with "Virgin accidentally inseminated by gynocologist"Jane The Virgin wins "Most Awkward Premise 2014". Opinion: Pass. Bad Judge is like Night Court. Only with a sexy female judge. And more raunchy jokes. And that's basically it. Isn't sexy female lawyer work place shenanigans a kind of tired premise, and I'm not seeing the laughs in the promo. Opinion: But then I also passed on watching Parks and Rec for a long time because I thought the premise was tired and didn't see the humour in the promo clips. So I'm not a good judge here. Get it. Haw. COURT IS ADJOURNED!

[di-kot-o-me]

Find details and trailers for the key films due out this fall, including new movies from Alfonso Cuarón, the Coen brothers, Martin Scorsese, Ridley Scott, and Paul Greengrass.

[entertainevo]

Falling For Fall TV

Although it may seem as if I’m discouraging the use of cable television,  this fall my DVR will be used like no other. The lack of human interaction this fall is possibly going to last until all 119 new and returning shows go on hiatus, which is around…

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