#false apologies

[loveinquarantine]

Sorry doesn't exist to you

[reynard61]

Sorry Not Sorry: The Media's Hollow Year-End Ritual

Semafor's latest "mistakes" roundup proves accountability is dead.

[babyspacebatclone]

Ok, I’m forced to back off a bit on a post I was considering because it’s based on a reaction video where I side with the reaction-er’s side but am getting exhausted with the non-apology being addressed.

But I saw this list, and tumbling back down into my SPoP slash Season 5 Catra salt I was just “Yeah, that’s clear and concise, how many of these did Season 5 hit??”

The list is: “The Five Rules of a Shit Apology”

Don’t actually Apologize!

Emotional Appeal

Strawman your Detractors / Gatekeep

Play Semantic Games to Aid your Nonapology

Switch Roles with the Victims of your Behavior.

Thoughts re: this list and Catra’s “Redemption”?

Also: DARVO, for anyone not familiar with this concept.

Should I build up the energy to put up what came to my mind for each point?

(And I still haven’t seen the entire show let alone all of Season 5, although I’ve done my best to watch clips of the relevant scenes…)

I’ll link the video I took this from below the cut, as well as an accountant’s take on publicly available information that supports the initial “whistle blowers” as being correct that “The Math doesn’t Math.”

Because I know there are some people who will not agree with me on which side I’m on in this particular “drama,” but to me the evidence that has been provided shows either extreme incompetence (which lead to fraud through neglect) or, given the entirety of the evidence, willful misrepresentation.

I’ve only watched half an hour of this, because at a certain point I get exausted hearing Jirard actively distracting from the actual points with, well, the listed points justinsane made above.

When an accountant looks like he’s undergoing an aneurysm over your “explanations” of how you’ve been running a charity, I think your apology failed.

[spilladabalia]

Meryl Streek - False Apologies

[kierancampire]

Sorry, trying to not do things like this any more, but i think it could educate people too about manipulation and false apologies

So for those unaware, i had a fallout with a friend where i tried avoiding an argument by saying agree to disagree as i didn't want to argue, but he pushed forward to an argument, when i said i was tired he then said we were only arguing because i was tired, and that i started the argument, so he literally tried gaslighting me. He wouldn't allow i word i said because anything i said was main stream and corrupt, he insulted a load of people in my life, he said some horrible things, he acted like i had been this awful person to him when even others had pointed out how supportive i had been to him lately. Like, truly awful

Anyway, i bumped into him today and he said "Look, i don't hold grudges, i don't hold anger, I'm not mad still about things that you said. So i am hoping you are the same and we can talk again". Did you notice 3 things? One, he never said sorry. He said it like an apology, but he never apologised. Two, and this is the big one, did you notice how everything in his "apology" was on me? It was a grudge against me and what i said and did, it was anger at me for what i said and did, he even said he was not mad about the things i said. Just like he did in the argument, he placed it all on me. Three, "I hope you are the same and we can talk again" that is a not so subtle way of trying to guilt trip me, he is acting like he is holier than thou, and by saying "i am hoping you are the same", that is saying that by not accepting his invitation to welcome him back into my life, i am an angry, begruding person who holds hatred for others and cannot forgive others. He then continues that by reinforcing "we can talk again" by saying the reason we won't talk again is on me, it is my fault we will not talk, again, because i am an angry person who cannot forgive others "unlike him".

When i obviously told him no and said i am angry still over what he said and did, he said "Really? But it was so long ago!", one, it wasn't. Two, again, if there was any acknowledgement of his actions (which there wasn't still), he immediately tried negating it by saying it had been a while, thus i should be over it, and if I'm not that's a problem with me.

Not a single part of that is an apology, and it in fact reinforces why we fell out, and also why after only one argument i never gave him another chance. Because i realised instantly what he just said, that it will always be my fault, and i will always be the bad person. If anyone in your life gaslights you, mistreats you, makes you feel bad, or makes you feel like you are the cause of every problem in the world. If you FINALLY leave them because you realise you can, and whether it is their whole apology, or if they do say sorry/admit to what they did, but even a part of their apology is trying to guilt trip you, make you feel bad, or make you feel like it was your fault. Do not go back. Do not forgive them. Do not accept that their burden is yours. You are better than that, you deserve better, and you will find someone who shows you how a person truly apologises for their actions. Words are important, and although people mess up sometimes, whether conciously or not we use particular words for a reason. Don't listen to the emotion, do not listen to the way they convey it, listen to what they say, that tells you all you need to know and this told me i was right to do what i did.

[februarythethird-blog]

Well I know now that K's apology was in part bullshit. The day after she wrote her little spiel her Facebook read

"You win some, you lose some. I've not been particularly proud of myself this year, and I'm sorry to those who have been caught in the fallout. New Years resolution: be a better person :/"

You win some you lose some?

I've been reduced to a little some that didn't come off her way. Oh well!

[noncohesivecontrivances-blog]

I’m sorry I don’t know normal from not,

just kidding, I’m not sorry at all.