Kieran

30, from the UK

[kierancampire]

Just sharing some of my possessions and my voice

[kierancampire]

He's also been blasting the Nelly Furtado version of Maneater, which he never usually does. And yes. Still going on. It hasn't stopped almost all day. So fucking sick of him.

[kierancampire]

Maneater hasn't stopped blasting music literally all day. So glad he's going soon. I hope someone decent replaces him

[kierancampire]

The autism people got back to me already and said who they put me with

Positives are, on their website they say they see people within 4-6 weeks, so hopefully that is the case for me, and they seem all set up for it, so hopefully i get good answers

However. It is a bit of a distance, so if I need to go there in person (which i think I do), that won't be fun. But my big issue. When I looked them up, one of the first photos I see is some machine on a person's head, and i immediately was like "Oh brother here we go 🫩", then they say they are holistic and use "evidence based treatments", which, if you're saying holistic and stressing "evidence based treatments" in the same thing. Augh

But, as long as they can diagnose me, and as long as the NHS and the government accept it, whatever, I'll take it. I am terrified. It seems like you only get 2 appointments, and the first one is the diagnosing one. So it's thinking this is my one shot to get this, and if I mess up or don't come across correctly, i could fail this and probably not have a chance again, so it's scary, especially knowing the weight of decision is based on these people. But hopefully all goes well

[kierancampire]

I wasn't gonna say about this, but eh

The way i was watching Avatar and Bob's Burgers was Disney+, i got it again, as I've just really been watching to watch Disney movies in general, the price is stupid compared to what it used to be, but eh

So yeah, so far only watched both Avatar movies, Zootopia 2 as i hadn't seen it, and a few episodes of Bob's Burgers. A few days ago when I first got it, i was looking at what Disney movies to watch, as i really enjoy Tangled, and The Princess and The Frog. But I saw Frozen, and for a moment I wanted to, but then i couldn't

It's weird, I watched both Frozen 1 and 2 one time since, so i did it in the past. But seeing it this time, I got an instant feeling of happiness and excitement, like I wanted to. But then I remembered how I watched Frozen at home with Nathan, then my first time seeing Frozen 2 was in the cinema with him. And as much as i felt that excitement and happiness, it quickly turned to pain, even looking at the icon of it, I felt shameful, like I wanted to be sick, I couldn't even look at it, like it was hurting me. A part of me still wanted to watch it, cause I have in the past, and it makes me happy. But I felt guilt, like something was holding me back and stopping me

In the end i didn't watch any Disney movies and watched Avatar instead. But it just left me frustrated. It's been over 6 years, and I watched them once before, i don't get why it was so bad this time, or why some things are worse than others that have ties to him. I've been going to the gym for 2 years, that was an extreme source of the pain he inflicted, yet I've made this mine, but then i couldn't even look at Frozen. While i listen to the odd song, I've never been able to come close to Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I doubt i ever will. I only saw it once before Nathan, and I admittedly wasn't super into it anyway outside of the songs I like, so it's not like it's a big loss. I just never see myself ever being able to watch that again, especially if I'm struggling with Frozen

[kierancampire]

Sorta half good news, half bad news

I was gonna contact the autism people soon, as I have been waiting for a referral for 3 years now, and they said it'd be around a 3 year wait. However they just sent an email and said, essentially, they know I've been waiting a really long time, however recently other providers have started up, and they can refer me to one of them who will likely see me much quicker, it seems like only certain people have this option and I am one, or I could stay waiting on them. Also, due to the bloody systems and ridiculous policies, the NHS still recognises these as official diagnoses

So, even though they said it was a 3 year wait, I guess I was nowhere near being seen. They also said the word "likely" to see me much quicker, so it's seemingly not a guarantee. I still have no idea how much longer I will be waiting. And it seems like even though i am getting this due to a referral of passing an autism check, this is just waiting to pass their own autism checklist, to which I seemingly then still need to wait for an actual assessment and diagnosis

However, they clearly are doing things in the background, this could speed it up, and it's something. I really need answers and support sooner rather than later, and I've been waiting technically 30 years for this, with my life in education being terrible due to lack of support. But hopefully this does something. I obviously applied for the chance at a faster service, and they said I will hear back in 10 working days

[kierancampire]

Maneater stopped for ages, but he's back to blasting that and Man Like You 🫩

[gregtom]

[k-simplex-deactivated20241001]

Happy Pride

[kierancampire]

I did a stupid at the gym today

When I was done, i put my bottle in the locker next to me while I sorted out my shoes and stuff in my locker, but i slightly closed the door on it. So when i was done, i went to put my bottle in my bag, but couldn't find it anywhere

Assuming I left it on the treadmill, I went back to it but someone was there with their bottle where mine was, mine was nowhere to be seen. So then I looked around downstairs where I was working out, couldn't see it, quickly scanned the office, not there. Realised I left all my stuff in an open locker which isn't safe abd is stupid, so i ran back up to sort that out and decided to look for my bottle after. As I was halfway down the stairs, I remembered I put it in the locker beside me, I just couldn't see it any more, so i forgot it existed. Thankfully it was still there, i just was an idiot with no object permanence

[kierancampire]

My body was waking me all throughout the night, now at 5:30 again. It's done this a few nights in a row now. I'm so tired

[kierancampire]

The official HTTYD page commented on a post of mine from a year ago asking permission to use it in advertising! I guess they mean the one with the popcorn and slushie, or the one with the credits, as i doubt they'd want to or could use the selfie of me with a Mickey Mouse jumper

But that's so awesome if they do! It seems like a thing that maybe will happen, not a guarantee. But if they do, something of mine could be used to advertise the new movie potentially! Like, in a very minor way, i could be officially affiliated with Universal! That's so cool!

Even if they don't, the fact they reached out, saw my post, and even offered is cool!

[kierancampire]

The other soup was not good, and i doubt this one will be either, I'd really rather not eat it at all, but i know I will waste it if i don't. So i will just get it out of the way with, maybe add salt and MSG to try and bring out some flavours. A very light dinner, so i will probably be hungry after, but eh

[kierancampire]

I've made decentish progress on Link's Awakening. I got to the south temple near Animal Village, before immediately leaving and getting the ocarina, the fish and frog songs, the boomerang, then saved and quit

So far I haven't needed guides in the dungeons, it's just been when getting around the map, sometimes i am clueless. But the catfish maw or whatever it was. Man. I will admit, I kept doing this thing where I kept advancing without an item i needed, then having to go all the way back to the start of the dungeon, all the way through it, then all the way back. But I did that so many times over. So in the end i did use a guide for that, that was also when I discovered the ocarina and a song you can play in dungeons, but by that point I brute forced it

Like i said, i dunno if i am just dumb, but i feel like maybe 75% of this game i am figuring out on my own, or using the in game hints to steer me in a direction. But that other part, like I said, I dunno if i an just dumb or what, as i have no idea how you're meant to figure some of this out. Unless it is trying things over and over and getting lucky, but after running around the map so much trying to figure out where I need to go, or constantly ramming my head against a wall, sometimes literally, every 5 minutes, just some things I lost patience for

I think it is hampering my experience a lil, as it's not fun constantly using my phone, and I do feel stupid. But there's just certain moments in this game where I have no idea what I'm doing, and while it largely can be exploration, like knowing where to go, it is ocassionally combat too. Like the big blue armour guy in the South Temple, I eventually had to look up how to hurt it as I felt i tried everything and nothing damaged it, or earlier on the shy guys, I dunno how you were meant to figure out to spin attack the back of them. Most enemies, most puzzles, and even most exploration i figure out on my own, yet repeatedly every so often something comes along i just can't figure out and i feel stupid

[kierancampire]

The past few times I have needed a medication review, I can't order my pills, and i got a note saying I needed a review. I contacted my doctors being like "Hey, it won't let me order my pills again as I am due a review" and they've just told me that I can't order them cause it's too early, so i need to wait. Said nothing on the review

So now I need to wait until I am almost out of pills, as i know nothing i say will change their mind, send a request through again, they'll comment on how weird this is and that it shouldn't work this way, I'll be stressed about running out of pills before I get the review and the chemist has time to sort them out, then this will happen again next time a review is due. This has happened I think 2 or 3 times now 🙃

Like, how hard is it to see on my system this has happened multiple times? I even said why it's happening this time, but they've just decided i don't know what I'm talking about. Like, it should even say I need a medication review on the system? I haven't made it up? So why not just make me an appointment? I don't get why they suddenly want me doing reviews so often when I've been on these pills for years. This is already so tiring going through this every time

[kierancampire]

My phone forced an update on me, literally nothing but AI shit I do not want, will never use, and do not support. Yet it crashed my phone, like, just wouldn't do anything for ages, and even now, while finally working. The entire thing is lagging like crazy, everything is choppy, nothing is working properly, inputs aren't registering. Never had this with an update before. Hopefully soon it stops.

It's so fucking stupid it forces this shit on you 🙄 I don't want this shit bloating my phone and taking up space, I do not want to support this shit or the damage it causes. It was fucking fine before. I'm so fucking sick of this AI bullshit. It's destroyed the fucking auto correct and shit stuff too

My phone literally feels like it is on fire

[teamhawkeye]

We put glow collars on the dogs when we walk them at night, and it is Extremely™️ effective on Boswell

[kierancampire]

I dunno if i am extra stupid, but Link's Awakening is making me feel dumb :')

So I just reached the second dungeon, but i have had to look up a guide multiple times, i should say that the only other Zelda game i have beaten is BoTW. The thing is, certain things, while stumping me, I eventually figure out, but I'm maybe getting confused by something every 5 minutes

The thing is though, there's also been multiple things i couldn't figure out, and while there is an in game "guide", it isn't the most helpful. For instance, the game told me to go to the swamp, but I had no idea i had to take the dog with me but the game kept just telling me to go to the swamp. While I figured this out myself, I got stuck on pushing the blocks onto the tiles. I then had no idea i had to take the dog back after. I then traded the Yoshi for a bow, but forgot one of the chain chomps wanted accessories, so I had to look up what to do with the bow, then look up where the gold leaves were, as i got 3 without digging and assumed the last 2 must needed to be dug up yet couldn't find them. Nope. No digging required even though the game tells you to buy this expensive shovel

And i just swear, every time something opens up to me, i go literally everywhere except where I am meant to, so I explore the entire map repeatedly just trying to find the location I am meant to get to. And while the phone guy ocassionally helps, other times he really doesn't. I am sorta enjoying it, like it is kinda fun. But, like i said, i don't know if I am stupid, but literally every 5 minutes I am feeling lost and confused, and maybe every 1 in 8 of those times, i need to look online as I just can't figure it out. Like I'll try on my own for ages each time, but in the end I need to give up, and it feels like some of these things have been so obscure I don't get how you were meant to guess them

Also sometimes my game is having insane slow down randomly, it just gets super choppy every so often