#false uniqueness

[infjadvice]

Hi, I was wondering if feeling like people think you're just like everyone else but you feel like you're really different is a infj thing. I'm not sure if that makes sense but I know we get the alien kind of feeling or like we are alone but I wasn't sure if that has any ties into it. Btw love your blog. Thank you

Yup that is probably one of the hallmark feelings of an INFJ! Almost all of us feel a sense of ‘difference’ because of our Introverted Intuition’s ability to pick up deep subconscious vibes that other people may not be as aware of or care to talk about. While other types are focusing on something outside of them or something more tangible, INFJs are often thinking about what makes people ‘one’ and ‘connected’ and whether or not they are feeling that way themselves. It’s the natural blending of the deep thought of Ni and the social harmony of the Fe. That’s why it’s so common for us to think that way. And we often feel disconnected because the depth to which we explore our own minds pulls us further and further away from the people around us.

I talk about this feeling in the ‘false uniqueness’ tag so check that out!

Stay Awesome 

[infjadvice]

I feel like a big factor to the false uniqueness that many INFJs feel is out introverted intuition!! It's kind of hard to not feel as if you have some special purpose when you JUST KNOW things that the rest of the world can't seem to piece together.

I believe you’re right on the money! I figured Ni plus the focus on statistical rareness are some of the bigger factors into the false uniqueness belief.

I think Ni could also be largely to blame for the ‘know it all’ or ‘preachy’ vibe that INFJs can give off because it’s hard to find a balance between what your intuition is telling you and what is actually true. Even if we are correct most times we shouldn’t always assume that we will always be right. One of the problems with Ni is that sometimes it goes too deep, speculates too far, and jumps to conclusions. Ni doms often read too far into people’s behavior, trying to see some underlying meaning or truth behind what they are saying instead of taking words at face value. Sometimes Ni can see meaning where there is none. Someone may say, “I think you’re nice.” and our Ni might try to try to find some hidden meaning behind that by whispering things like “Wait why are they saying that? Are they lying and just trying to be nice? Or does this person have feelings for me? Who is motivating them to say this?” instead of just realizing that that person said they think you are nice because they just think you are nice. There’s isn’t some hidden meaning behind it all the time. They don’t secretly love you and are trying to show it in subtle ways or secretly hate you and are trying to deceive you. They just think you’re nice. Go home Ni, you’re drunk.

Sorry I went on a bit of a tangent there but the important thing is that sometimes we JUST KNOW but other times we think we just know and we’re actually very wrong. There’s a balance each Ni dom has to learn between when to trust Ni and when to question it. Personally, I know I need to listen to those ‘red flag’ feelings more often. I also have to be careful that I’m not seeing what I want to see instead of what actually is. I know if I find myself doubting something for a long time then that’s not a good sign. But I’m still learning! I’m sure I’ll make more Ni mistakes in the future and I’ll tell you guys all about them and how to avoid them :)

Stay humble and seek balance,

Stay Awesome