Hi so I've just read the first five chapters of your book and figured I'd give you some feedback on them (It's 4:30 where I am and I haven't slept, like, at all, so sorry if this is a little incoherent).
Also English is not my first language so please take everything I say with a pinch of salt.
Anyways, I didn't notice any big grammatical mistakes. There are, however, a couple sentences that seemed strange to me:
"It already caused him and Terri to break up in the first place, and now it was costing him his wins at boxing matches" -> I think you can safely cut out that "wins at".
""So," he began, "A while back, I remembered the talk we had a while back, after you got out of the hospital." -> not really a mistake, since repetitions in spoken dialogue happen all the time, but I figured I'd point it out regardless in case that wasn't your intention.
Now for the overall review:
No ok I'll try to be serious now:
1) Nick is very likeable. Adam is also very likeable. The other characters? Also very very likeable. Have I mentioned how much I like your characters?
2) I love still-recognizably-modern-but-just-a-little-in-the-future settings, and that's exactly what I was picturing while reading.
3) The government seems just as callous and incompetent as it is in real life and I'd love to learn more about it as the story progresses.
4) The buildup to what happened 9 years ago is very well done. I think I can tell the direction you're going to take with this, but I'm still curious to see the specifics of how you're going to handle it
5) Nick and Adam's dynamic looks like this to me:
Coincidentally, that's also how I feel about Adam.
6) I ship these 2 so much. They're so cute!
I will now spend the foreseeable future scrolling through your blog for more info about your story while I wait for the next chapters.
omg this means so much to me!!!! thank you so much for your feedback!!! im so glad you love my story and characters!!!