ship: clark kent x f! reader (established relationship)
content warnings: (sfw) fluff & protective behavior, light possessiveness (consensual & affectionate) work-place tension with raised voices, christmas setting, lois, jimmy, cat, perry and steve cameos
word count: 2k
author's note: kinkmas day 20 🎄
five days until christmas... and five days until kinkmas final. which feels insane to say out loud. this one was written with bitten lips, and full anthony mackie meme energy because protective clark in a newsroom around christmas time? yeah. i folded immediately.
as always, thank you for being part of my little strawberry patch 🍓 i hope this one makes you feel safe, soft and a little feral in the best way.
xo, lae ᯓᡣ𐭩
now playing: baby please come home by darlene love ⋆˙⟡
the daily planet bullpen was alive with it's usual charm and hustle and bussle. phones ringing, typing on keyboards, the ocasional laughter rising above the noise. yet, despite the usual chaos, there was a quiet charm in the air. christmas decor adorned desks and bulletin boards, among their usual clutter. tiny trees blinked with white and multi coloured lights from a small corner, garlands were drapped hapazardly across shelves with candy canes hung from string like festive ornaments. snow fell gently outside, frosting the windows, and coating the outside of the planet's walk way.
the offices' local radio came through scratchy croon of bing cosby singing a holiday tune, giving the room an oddly cozy, old-fashioned atmosphere. you leaned against the edge fo your desk, speaking animatedly to cat, lois, and even jimmy. "i mean... really he's been everywhere these past few days. toy drives, shelters, the fire station this morning... and even stopped by leo's diner before the city woke up, made sure the tip jar was full. it's like he's everywhere, spreading cheer!" jimmy grinned, leaning forward. "sounds like superman's trying to earn extra brownie points for the holidays. i mean, the guy's basically a saint." his own big ear to eat smile brushing across his freckled face.
cat smirked, adjusting her glasses and giving you a pointed look. "oh, so you like him that much, huh?" her voice was playful, teasing but sharp enough to make your cheeks warm. lois, perched on the edge of her own desk, leaned back with her arms crossed and a mischievous glint in her eyes. "careful, clark might get jealous if he hears you gushing like that." you laughed softly, brushing the comment off, though a subtle fluster of warmth spread through you. "i'm just... noticing the good he's done, that's all. i appreciate it." from across the room, steve's plaful voice chimed in with a teasing drawl. "oh yeah, if you like that sort of thing, miss princess."
your smile faltered for just a moment, and you felt the faintest twinge of fluster rise in you chest. clark, who had been standing nearby pretemding to sort through a stack of papers, froze mid-motion. his glasses perched just so on the bridge of his nose, he adjusted them with the tip of his finger, though his eyes never left you. the office around you became background noise—the chatter, the clacking of keyboards, ringing of phones, it all seemed to blur into a soft hum as clark's gaze sharpened, observing every tiny inflection in your expression. you swallowed, suddenly very aware of him and his presence.
three months in, you still felt the little jolt that came whenever clark's attention was fully on you. and today, there was something more. something careful, watchful, protective. "clark." you whispered softly, almost to yourself. "i'm fine." he stepped slightly closer, the air between you contracting in the smallest, unspoken way. "i know." he said, voice low, calm and measured. "i just-i noticed." his jaw tightened ever so slightly, a subtle flash of possesiveness crossing his expression, though he quickly masked it behind the familiar, mild-mannered calm of clark kent. you glanced back at your co-workers, trying to laugh it off.
even cat's knowing smirk couldn't distract you from the tension humming quietly between you and clark. "i think she's fine." jimmy said, his obliviousness to to the silent battle of attention and sublte energy happening right next to him. "she's more than fine." clark murmured under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear. his shoulder brushed yours slightly, a movement so sublte it could have been accidental, but you knew better. your hand brushed briefly against his as you shifted your papers. clark's thumb moved instinctively to trcae a light circle on your wrist,possesive protective, but impossibly gentle.
your stomach fluttered at the touch, warmth spreading through you like the first sip of hot cocoa on a cold day. "clark..." your voice softlu murmured, trying to tease, trying to keep your voice casual. "you don't have to hover." he smiled softly, not enough to reach his eyes. "i'm not hovering." he said softly, a corner of his mouth twitched ina ghost of a smile. "i'm making sure you're comfortable, safe." a blush crept over your cheeks, and you leaned just a little closer, letting your shoulder brush against his. he didn't move away, in fact, he adjusted slightly, draping his arms over the back of your chair in a protective cocoon. it was sublte but deliberate.
the office seemed to melt around you, leaving only the two of you in a quiet bubble amid the christmas office bustle. cat, not missing a beat, tilted her head and quipped. "careful, clark. you're giving off serious santa-with-the-cookies vibes, and it's boderline threatening in the best way." lois, stifled a laugh behind her hand, eyes flickering between you and clark with an unmistakable curiosity. "i get it now." she murmured, just loud enough to be annoying. "you talk about superman like that, and suddenly kent's hovering like a guard dog." steve, completely oblivious, leaned against your desk with a grin. "yeah, it's kinda adorable.
big superhero crush, huh?" before you could even form a response, clark's chair scraped back, loud, sudden. "that's enough." the bullpen quited in an instant. steve blinked, caught off guard. lois' brows lifted, surprise flickering across her face. clark stood there, broad shoulders squared, jaw tight in a way you'd only seen a handful of times, the way it got when someone crossed a line. "you don't get to comment to her like that." clark said, voice firm, no stutter, no awkward kent softness like usual. "not as a joke, not ever." lois opened her mouth, jimmy's comment trying to ease the tension here.
"clark buddy, relax." his eyes snapped up to jimmy. "no!" he snapped himself, sharper now, eyes flashing. "you relax, olsen." a beat of stunned silence followed. jimmy's grin falters, as cat watches with open interest, lips pursed like she was filing this away for later. steve muttered something under his breath and backed-off, auddenly very interested in his monitor. perry's office door cracked open enough for his voice to carry. "kent." he warned, "bullpen." clark exhaled slowly, visibly reigning himself in. "sorry, cheif." the words were polite, the edge beneath them not so much. he sat back down, the chair creaking underneath his weight, but he didn't dare move away from you.
if anything, clark shifted closer to you. your pulse was loud in your ears as you leaned toward him, voice low. "clark..." you murmured, "you didn't have to-" his voice in a low murmur alike yours cuts you off gently, "yes, i did." his hand finds yours under the desk, fingers warm, steady and possessive. his thumb brushed your knuckles once, in a slow grounding way. "it's... complicated." you said quietly, more to fill the space than anything else. clark's gaze softened immediately when he looked at you. the tension drained from his shoulders, replaces by something private. something only you ever got to see. "it's not complicated..." his said under his breath "just mine."
and your breath hitched then, ever so quietly so no one lese could hear his voice, it came. "you know." he murmured, lips barley moving, "i could hear his heartbeat spike from acorss the room." your eyes widened, a mix of shock and heat flooding to your chest. "clark." you warned. "i could hear yours too." he added softly, a dangerous hintog a smile tugging at his mouth. "son't pretend you weren't affected." you swallow, your cheeks pinked. "your using thst agaisnt me." you stated squeezing his fingers. "only a little." he said his thumb pressing more firmly into your hand. "and only because you're safe with me."
outside, the snow had came to a gentle still, snowflakes drifiting lazily past the windows, blanketing into the snow on metropolis' streets in a quiet white field. the office lights had glowed warm and golden, but the heat curling through you had nothing to do with them. "you know..." you whispered, leaning into him just enough for your hair to brush his shoulder, "you're doing a very good job. even without your cape, superman." clark's lips curved into a slow, knowing smile. "careful." he warned, teasingly. "you know i don't always leave it at home." you laughed softly, your cheek brushing his chest as you leaned closer.
he was solid, steady and unmistakably there. his arm shifted behind you, still protective without being obvious, his own version of restraint. cat smirked from her desk. "wow! someone's taking wprkplace loyalty very seriously." lois rolled her eyes, though there was a small smile tugging her lips there too. "she's glowing, kent. try not to scare the newsroom into thinking you've grown a backbone overnight." jimmy lifted a candy cane like a mircophone. "for the record, i', scared- but i'm also impressed." clark ignored them all, as his hand rose and brushed a strand of hair from your face. tucking it sweetly, behind your ear with deliberate care.
his breath was warm against your temple when he whispered, "i've got you." your fingers intertwined with his, natural as breathing. "for everything." he added quietly. "always, sweetheart." the bullpen noise faded once again, dissolving into a cozy background hum. foreheads brushed, with shared smiles passed between you two like secrects. snow silent as you looked into each other's eyes for the millionth time. bing crosby's voice crooned faintly still on the radio. clark adjusted your scarf once. his touch lingering just enough to make your heart stumble. "i've got you, sweetheart." he repeated, softer still. "and no one else needs to." you pressed into him closer, laughting warmly as a quiet glow formed inside your chest.
"i know." you whispered, "i wouldn't have it any other way, clark." and there, beneath twinking white and mutli coloured lights, surrounded by the smell of ink and stale coffee, with the printer wiring to life and cooling down. surrounded by the snow and frosty ice, with christmas warmth, you knew it was true. the world could be loud and dangerous but also unpredictable. but with your beau, clark kent. you were, protected, chosen, and most importantly his.
author's note cont.
thank you so much for reading this little cozy moment with clark. i had the softest time writing this, snow-outside-the-window energy and all, and i hope it felt like a gentle exhale for you too. thank you for being here, for supporting my writing, and for making this space feel so safe and special.
thank you to my mutuals and readers and passer-byers who've been here, hyping me up, and making this whole kinkmas experience feel so warm and special. writing this felt like wrapping myself in a cpzy sweater and letting clark do what he does best: protect quietly but completely.
all the love,
lae 🍓
chapter 3: You could use a little highlighter, too.
The next day I woke up late and hungover. Of course, I was also late for work, where I had so many things to do that I didn't have coffee until around lunchtime.
The thought of the dreaded eviction order only rumbled distantly through my skull, like an echo of yesterday's alcohol haze. A latent threat I'll deal with when I survive the day.
Shift ended up later than I expected for me. I had hoped to catch the same subway line as yesterday, but only subconsciously knew why. I didn't fully realize it until the moment I got on and saw the dark-haired boy from yesterday. He was standing in a similar spot just like yesterday, holding the pole with his fingerless gloved hand and reading Naked Lunch by Burroughs. I noticed that he had shimmering eyeshadows on his eyelids.
The feeling came back. Like I was watching some version of myself from another universe, like I was watching someone I could be. The idea scared the hell out of me. I wondered what exactly it was that fascinated me so much about him. I eyed him carefully. Other than the makeup, there wasn't much special about him. He was wearing dark clothes, sneakers, a backpack next to him with a Food Not Bombs badge on it. Perhaps it was the way he managed to exist in space, the way he just was, without apologizing to anyone for his own existence or asking if he was in anyone's way. And...he was handsome, I realized. I'd gotten used to looking at people and not seeing them as something other than a potential threat. I didn't notice how they looked, how they affected me. I never thought whether they were pretty or not, I didn't see if...
I cut off the last thought. No, fuck. Stop staring at him, moron, you have more important things to do. Like figuring out where to move my whole existence for next whoever knows long. My gaze slid back to him. Invisible magnetism was at work. I couldn't do anything about it.
He was obviously engrossed in his reading or he would have noticed a group of about 4 guys in football jerseys getting on the subway. They were obviously drunk and talking loudly to each other. I immediately became alert, as I always do when I'm around someone drunk. As if the atmosphere in the carriage had also changed, the woman standing by the door hurriedly stepped out. But he took no notice and continued reading.
"Hey! You fucking bastard!"
Only they noticed. One of the men nodded his head in his direction. The others laughed and walked over to him.
"Hey! You faggot!"
Slowly, in obvious annoyance, he peeled his eyes away from the pages of the book and focused his gaze on the tallest of them. "Yes?"
The tallest one laughed, and the others with him. Their laughter echoed through the whole carriage, it sounded to me like barking or hyenas, like sandpaper, like pleading of hundreds of smaller kids they used to bully in fucking elementary school.
"What a great makeup you have!" Another one of them addressed him, while the others kept laughing.
"Thanks. You could use a little highlighter, too."
I froze. Instinctively, I knew I could feel the violence and aggression hanging in the air. Like the smell of locker rooms after a game, like stale beer, like all the places I'd experienced violence.
"Well, I'll tweak your face real good, piece of shit..."
I got moving before the first punch landed, before I even saw it. The tallest of them brutally punched the dark-haired boy across the cheekbone with his fist. Blood gushed from his mouth.
I forcibly pushed away the two smaller ones, who had meanwhile outflanked their victim, and made my way to the tallest one. I didn't even realize I was clutching the keys to the apartment in my right hand as I punched him. I watched in surprise as the key to the front door, clenched tightly between my index and middle finger, ripped his face open. He screamed in pain. I kicked him in the shin with all my strength. He slumped to the ground in pain. The others started to come at me, I elbowed one and kicked the other between the legs with all the rage I could muster. For a moment I saw his brutal face crampled in agony, weirdly surprised. Adrenaline and luck couldn't last forever, the next second I got punched by one of them. I tasted blood.
"Enough!"
They all started screaming at once. Not only the attackers, the whole carriage, until this moment silent and complicent. I looked around and suddenly understood. The dark-haired one was pointing his gun at the attackers, his index finger on the trigger. His chin covered in blood, a determined look in his eyes. The tallest of them was kneeling on the ground, gun pointed directly in his face.
"Fuck, don't..!" I gasped. The dark-haired one narrowed his eyes.
"How about I tweak your face now, YOU SHIT!"
Kneeling man began to visibly shake, his hands in the air. The dark-haired one turned his gaze to the light board above his head, showing next stops of the carriage. Then he pointed his gun at the rest of his attackers.
"Get out. Get the FUCK OUT FROM HERE!"
The carriage door opened, two of the men pulled their friend, whose bladder didn't last look into the gun barrel and pissed himself, onto the platform. The last of them gave the dark-haired man a look of hatred that got chills in my bones. The doors closed, the carriage started to move and the dark-haired man lowered his gun to the ground. He didn't break eye contact with the last of the men and made a curtsy as a greeting.
Adam gets his everloving shit wrecked from some of the Hotel Staff in order to convince him sinners really can be redeemed. Charlie also recruits Lucifer to give them a hand, in more ways than one.
Warnings for foul language, some violence, suggestive humor (nothing extreme, just some totally in chatacter comments), my shitty grammar/punctuation, and lots of fluff/tickles. I hope you enjoy!! :3
It was no secret that Adam was heaven (and hell's) resident douchebag. He was stuck up, conceited, and completely self-centered. He had no real intentions of giving Hazbin Hotel a shot. He hadn't even shown up in person to the meeting in which was arranged originally between himself and Lucifer. And after Lucifer's daughter had stood in Lucifer's place at that meeting, well, Adam just couldn't take anything the princess of hell had to say seriously.
Charlie Morningstar was less than pleased to discover that the angels were going to be on a new six month extermination schedule. How was that even fair? It was so frustrating that Adam had flat out refused to listen to reason or even take Charlie's pitch of redemption even halfway seriously. He spent most of their allotted meeting time making sexist comments, talking about himself, interrupting anything Charlie had to say, and eating his pile of ribs in the most obnoxious and rude way possible.
Charlie had to think of a way to truly convince the head angel to call off the extermination and redeem those who were taking their path to redemption through the hotel seriously. But no song, no dramatic speech, no amount of begging or pleading could convince the dickhead that her Hotel would ever actually work.
"How could we actually convince heavens top angel to take our Hotel seriously?" Charlie had asked the staff and two meager residents in a meeting that was originally to be comprised of forgiveness role-playing and trust exercises. The change of routine was much welcomed by all, though they'd never explicitly tell Charlie that.
"We could just kill him?" Alastor suggested, his grin broadening and eyes darkening at the thought.
"That wouldn't be a good way to exemplify our goals or show redemption," Charlie paused. "We just need to figure out a weakness, you know, find something that we could use against him! Does anyone have any... less violent ideas?" She shoots Alastor a sympathetic smile.
"Vicious blackmail?" Angel suggests casually. He has the day off, and while he'd rather be scoring drugs or drinking at the bar with Husk's sole company, this discussion is far better than trust exercises.
"That's a less violent alternative," Charlie comments, "But still shady..."
"Listen toots, we aren't gonna convince Adam or anyone else to take us seriously if we don't play at least a little bit dirty," Angel tucks his upper set of arms behind his neck in a bored gesture.
"Angel has a point, Charlie. They wouldn't listen to reason, and the angels are notorious for not playing fair. I know you're trying to find a way that isn't violent or unconventional, but we might not have much of a choice. Especially if we want to defend our people," Vaggie steps closer to Charlie to embrace her briefly.
"Blackmail... nonviolent... unconventional... playing dirty..." Charlie thinks briefly about the options that fall under all these categories, and suddenly her face breaks out into a wide and evil grin. "I know exactly what we have to do! And I know just the person to call to ensure this plan will work. But I'm 99.9% positive, and it'll be foolproof!"
••••
"You want to what?" Lucifer's voice raises an octave. Unsure of what exactly this favor was his nearly estranged daughter had asked of him, he couldn't tell her no. But he hadn't known this was the specific favor in question until he arrived to the hotel. And Charlie had intentionally left out a few key details.
Had Lucifer known his precious daughter and hotel patronage had planned to exploit his ticklishness, he would've very well declined and spent the afternoon with his vast collection of rubber ducks.
"But that's only part of the favor. We also need you to arrange a meeting with Adam face to face. But first we need to know if this plan will work," Charlie's voice at the end was near pleading. Lucifer almost felt sorry for her, but what did this have to do with tickling him?
"I can arrange him to meet you all in person," Lucifer spoke slowly' "but what the hell does this have to do with tickling me?" His voice rose to a strangled octave, indicating that he was indeed ticklish.
"Mr. Morningstar, erm, your majesty, Charlie pointed out that you and Adam have similar angelic traits... so we figured that if you were... also inflicted the same weakness... We might actually have a shot at bringing that Adam prick down a few pegs," Vaggie nervously stepped forward to shake her girlfriends father's hand.
"I'd like to peg him," Angel murmered, earning a few looks of utter horror he quickly added "Adam, I meant Adam! Besides haven't you heard of hate fucking?" Angel grumbled defensively.
Lucifer turned back to Charlie.
"So you're asking me... if you can find various sensitive spots on my body... to use on Adam... in hopes of getting him to call of the next extermination?"
Charlie nodded enthusiastically and damnnit, Lucifer just couldn't say no to her.
"Okay, okay, okay... But a few things first... I'm only letting you do this as part of that favor. If anyone here ever tries to tickle me outside this one stand alone instance, consider yourselves to be absolutely wrecked. As ticklish as I am, I will ensure to pay you back in kind tenfold if any of you pull a stunt like this outside this small window of time. I'm only doing this because it would be nice to knock that dickhead down a few pegs."
His threat clung to the air a few moments. The king of hell was known to be ruthless, and he was a force to be reckoned with.
"Thanks dad!" Charlie reached over to hug him. Something the two hadn't done in such a long time but their embrace felt familiar. Normal even.
"A couple of other points..." Lucifer told the group, "an angels wings are the most sensitive, pretty much everywhere. Between the feathers, shoulder blades, wing pits, I mean, it's lethal... Lilith used to..."
Lucifer couldn't help but turn a blushy pink color at the mention of his former wife. He hadn't been properly tickled since... well, it had been quite some time. Lilith wasn't a stranger to tickling Lucifer to tears, but she was the only one to ever indulge in his weakness. He was never tickled by anyone other than Lilith. And cetainly not by this many people. Charlie had grown up with witnessing Lillith tickle him to pieces. Faint memories of her father squealing, shrieking, and downright begging Lilith not to tickle him while laughing helplessly. But Lilith had always been able to easily overpower her much smaller husband. But Charlie also knew how Lucifer could hold his own. She knew what a fierce tickle monster he could be in her own experiences and knew by watching her parents in her much younger days that Lucifer almost always sought revenge.
Lucifer kept reminding himself that this was necessary. He knew this was to help his people of hell, his daughter even, but being demon royalty and exposing his most innate physical weakness and allowing others to take advantage of it was downright terrifying. It had been bad then, but now? Lucifer let out an involuntary shudder.
"For Adam, specifically, I'm led to believe that he would have another weak point aside from his wings. But if his wings are anything like mine, then you shouldn't have much trouble!"
Lucifer tried his hardest to ignore the shit eating grins forming on the faces of both Angel Dust and Alastor. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But he remembered his favor to Charlie, and all the memories of his past tickling experiences and thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
"Please, do tell us of any other weak spots you think the angel will have, your royal higness!" Alastor chimes in, eager to have something to use against both Adam and Lucifer.
"God removed one of Adam's ribs to create his new wife. And being touched by that amount of power would absolutely cause that spot to be more sensitive... It's basically a given."
"So torture the guys wings and ribs, got it," Angel smirked.
"Torture Adam's wings and ribs," Lucifer clarified "you motherfuckers better go easy with me." Lucifer couldn't help but back away nervously from the group. Unfortunately for him, there was only so far he could back up before his back collided with the wall of the Hotel lobby adjacent to where Husk was sleeping at the bar. At least Nifffty and Husk weren't involved in this scheme.
"Anything else we need to know before we tickle you to death?" Charlie asked almost sympathetically as Vaggie, Angel, and Alastor closed in on the king of hell.
"Sixty seconds. Do NOT exceed sixty seconds." Four against one was definitely not a fair match.
Lucifer wasn't given time to think while the group circled around him. Shit. Fuck. Shit.
"Sixty seconds," Charlie clarified, "starting in 3..."
Why the fuck did he agree to this again?
"2..."
This really had better work on Adam. Otherwise Lucifer knew he'd be totally fucked around Alastor, Angel and Vaggie, who all seemed to take pure delight in discovering the king of hell was ridiculously ticklish. Why did Charlie have to tell them?
"1..."
Shit. And he was lost in helpless, screech filled laughter. Lucifer had curled into a ball as ten arms and countless tickling fingers dug into almost all his ticklish spots.
"WHAHAHAHAHHAHT THE FUHUHUHCK AHHAH STAHAP!" Lucifer pleaded, knowing it hadn't even been 10 seconds yet.
Alastor had taken the liberty in casting a temporary paralysis spell on Lucifer so he couldn't even protect his worst spots. He had taken this opportunity to also tickle the smaller demon's shoulder blades which shook helplessly as his six magnificent wings unfurled.
Angel and Vaggie started to explore his wings and Lucifer had severely underestimated just how much it would tickle.
"OohoHAHAhaA, IHIHIHT tiHIHihihCkles HAhahHa soHo mUhUHUHUCH AHAhaHa!" Lucifer squealed as Angel and Vaggie had tickled the soft skin beneath his feathers, Angel's extra set of hands had made quick work of his wing pits which caused his laughter to shoot up an octave.
"That's kind of the point, short king," Alastor teased as he had switched to taser his sides while Charlie had been scribbling at his ribs, grinning madly as her plan had seemed now that it could be executed without fail.
Lucifer was in absolute tickle hell. Literally. The sensation of Vaggie and Angel mercilessly tickling his wings, scritching the skin beneath his feathers, digging into the sensitive wing pits and occasionally poking and scratching at his shoulder blades combined with Alastor squeezing his sides and Charlie torturing his ribs had nearly caused Lucifer to break. He couldn't move to protect his tickle spots. And all he could do was laugh and shriek and hope the ticklish assault would end whenever the alloted minute was up.
"I didn't think you'd still be this ticklish!" Charlie cooed.
"OkAYHAHAHhahAH! SEhehee? IHAH- I TOHOAHAHHOLD YOUHOO AHAHhahah it WOHOULD WORK!" Lucifer cackled.
He never had four people tickle him at once before. It was the most ticklish he'd ever felt in his entire life. It wasn't fair to have all his tickle spots exploited at once!
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of cackling, the minute had passed and as promised, Charlie called off the experimental tickle attack. Alastor reversed the spell and Lucifer had crumpled to a giggling panting mess on the floor, overstimulated from all the tickles and trying to rub away the residual ghost tickles.
"So was that 60 seconds of getting your everloving shit rocked, short king?" Angel grins down at Lucifer.
"Seriously, fuck you guys," Lucifer giggles.
"Think this will actually work on Adam?" Vaggie turns to Charlie beaming as she helps her one day father-in-law off the floor.
"It has to!" Charlie says with pure confidence.
"Thanks, dad, for helping us prove our theory to be true. Adam won't stand a chance against us." Charlie hugs the still giggling Lucifer around the middle.
"I don't mind seeing that loser taken down, I'm... glad I could help, but seriously, that was awful," Lucifer says, hugging Charlie back.
"I'll arrange for Adam to arrive here tomorrow and then you can convince him to listen."
●●●●
Adam was irritated. Sure, the king of hell was able to order him to meet in person to discuss business matters, but that didn't mean he wanted to. If it were up to him, he would meet through holographic magic, but Lucifer had strictly forbidden it for this meeting only.
So here he was, at the hotel's doorstep, expecting to meet with Lucifer and returning to report back to heaven as soon as this mandated meeting was concluded.
What Adam wasn't expecting, however, was to be met with Alastor, opening the door positively beaming at him.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Why, you must be Adam, we've all been dying to meet you! Well, if it weren't for the fact that we are already dead!" Alastor chuckles at his own joke. "Do come in!"
"Who in the fuck are you?" Adam glares at Alastor, wary of the taller demon.
"Why, I'm Alastor, the infamous radio demon of hell and manager of this fine establishment! Allow me to show you around hell's only rehabilitation center for lost souls!" Alastor grabs Adam's wrist and drags him through the hotel lobby toward the bar.
"Allow Husker to pour you a drink, on the house!" Alastor grins at Adam's sheer befuddlement. He was out of his element here in unfamiliar territory. Husk pours an unmarked liquid into a glass and slides it toward Adam.
"...uh, thanks... but when am I supposed to meet with Lucifer?" Adam looks at the drink as if it were poisonous.
"Don't be a silly! We would never think to poison the one and only angel who had the power to permanently end the exterminations of hell's residents!" Alastor laughs as if he could read Adam's mind.
"And Lucifer will be here soon, but we have other eager candidates to speak with you before hand!" Alastor continues smirking as Adam slowly begins to drink from the glass.
That's when Adam turns and notices Vaggie, Charlie, and Angel behind him, a bit too close for comfort. And suddenly, Adam finds himself unable to move, thanks to Alastor's demonic power and curse of immobility.
"What the actual FUCK, Charlie?" Adam tries to writhe away but is unable to do so.
"Adam, thank you for joining us today! We thought it might take a team approach to convince you that our redemption center deserves a chance to save sinners from extermination," Charlie smiles.
"I already fuckin told you that hell is eternal damnation, I'm not changing my mind and I think that your hotel is a worthless waste of time!" Adam spits angrily.
"Maybe you just need more convincing..." Angel smiles, excited to be able to have one over on this pompous angel prick.
"I said Noho!" Adam let's out a startled Huff as Charlie prods his side near the bottom of his ribs.
"I don't think you're in a position to refuse our quite reasonable requests." Alastor chuckles.
"What are you all playing at?" Adam sneers, albeit nervously.
"Well, we can't harm you, obviously, but we found a rather unconventional method of torture to utilize to convince you to take us seriously," Charlie explains.
Torture? Adam now realized three things.
One: he was outnumbered.
Two: he was completely immobile and couldn't move from whatever power was keeping him trapped.
Three: The poke Charlie had administered to his side had been... well... ticklish... Adam had started to realize that they intended to tickle him. They couldn't. They wouldn't, actually, could they?
"No, no, Charlie. I demand you to release me!"
"Maybe this will help convince you not be such a pompous asshole," Charlie smirked down at Adam evilly.
And suddenly, Adam felt her dig all ten fingers into one of his most ticklish spots, his ribs. And he felt Angel and Alastor tickle into his sensitive shoulder blades, causing his wings to expand.
"Nohohoho, what thehahahhah FUHAHAHAHAHUCK?" Adam squeals.
Vaggie had hopped in to help Charlie tickle his stomach and hips and Adam was in absolute ticklish hell.
"Fuhahahahuck YOHOU GUYS, AHAHAHAHAHA!" Adam can't even squirm away from their torturous fingers. His laughter shoots up an octave as Alastor and Angel tickle into his wings.
No tickle spot was spared on the guy and he couldn't even move or writhe away from the ticklish touches. It wasn't fair!
"Think you'll give the hotel another shot?" Charlie asked, digging sharply into Adam's lower rib cage. Adam's laughter doubled.
"NohohahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Oh shit, Adam! It feels Ike one of your ribs are missing!! Maybe we should count them to see how many are there!" Charlie teases, enjoying how much power they have over Adam.
"FUHUHUCK OHOHOHOHOOFF!" Adam screeches as Charlie proceeds to count and recounts his ribs.
"We've got all day, tough guy!" Angel digs roughly into Adam's wing pits as Alastor digs his claws beneath the feathers to torture the delicate skin beneath. How long had it been? Fifteen minutes? Twenty? Adam quickly realizes that he is utterly fucked.
Adam's laughter goes silent. It's not fair to have them all tickle him to pieces. He couldn't even fight back or try to get away. All he could do was lie there and take it. His eyes begin to water as they continue their ticklish onslaught. And Adam just can't handle much more.
"Think we can renegotiate now?" Charlie asks and Adam quickly nods despite his silent hysteria.
"Okay, I think he's had enough," Charlie slows her hands and pulls them away, and the rest of the group follows suit.
Adam lays there panting giggling, still feeling the ticklish assault through his nervous system.
"I hope you won't forget this, as we are easily able to convince you to do exactly as we want," Alastor chuckles darkly, removing the immobility curse.
"Seriously, fuck you guys," Adam flips them off as he uses his magic to dissappear. His tough guy facade had been broken.
Adam would call off the next extermination, out of fear of what would happen to him if he continued to refuse. Now, his greatest enemies knew of his ticklish weakness. He would never be able to live it down. And maybe a part of him didn't want to.
Guys, my return as a KPTS, mainly KimChay fic author will be a hefty gift.
It's not an update of the other stories 😅
It's brand new. It's also a one-shot.
That has finally met the midway point. As in I'm watching the scroll bar getting smaller and smaller and it's now about equal to chapter 1 of Underestimated (and Fall Harder).
This has gone through 3 different name changes:
1) Karaoke Communications
2) Cornering Loved Ones and Making Them Talk Actually Works
3) Shoving Brothers into the Proverbial Closet
It's gonna be a doozy. Following that, I'm aware this should've been split into 2 chapters, but Tankhun took over and said we're making this happen right this instant 👀👀👀😅🤣🤣 it'll make sense when ya'll read it.
Also this was meant to be mostly crack fic, but of course 🙄 my dumb ass brain decided to have Part 1 & Midway mostly serious in nature. Part 2 is as of right now should be crack fic, as planned.
As planned, I say...staring at Midway that wasn't supposed to happen.
I assure you, the context [of Part 2] might be believable within canon, but not with how it happens...well, maybe for one it could be, depending on fandom, the other two not so much.
Should I do some sort of indication of when Part 1, Midway, and Part 2 is? 🤔 Just in case ya'll have a favorite part.
- _ - ... Forever The Liberty Of Expression , My First Art Of LGTB Characters : Are Lyla Brown And Frederick ( Fred ) Mcnodlck , Lyla Is A Ireland Girl ( Lesbian ) , Is Laurel ´s Boss In The Newpapper University Crew . Frederick Is Scotland Guy ( Pansexual ) , Make Photos And Friend Of Laurel ...
@arrowsbane well i guess we’re going to just have to keep being inspired by each other. i read her amazing post HERE, which was in turn inspired by my post HERE and you don’t need to read any of these to read this, but can i just say –
holy shit. havoc/ed. what a brilliant fucking paring that i’ve never even thought of before. holy shit, it’s perfect.
so – to set the scene. trans female ed. trans ed who performed human transmutation not to bring anyone back to life (both her parents are alive, but gone, trisha was not content to be left behind this go around) but instead to give her the body she always desired. and she succeeds. she and al are still trained by izumi curtis, and this gives ed her driving passion, her goal in life – to be a housewife.
so she and al go about her adventures, dragging winry along more often than not, but they stay away from central and they always come home. and ed’s about to turn twenty, and pinako is talking to her old friend ellie, and ellie is moaning about her unmarried grandson, her grandson who refuses to inherit the general store and won’t settle down and is off in the military, of all things. he’s a bright, handsome boy, elle says, he just has his head in the wrong place.
and pinako taps her pipe and goes – you know i’ve been raising three kids right, my granddaughter and my neighbor’s kids, a boy and a girl. and ellie is surprised, she thought both elric children were boys, but she dismisses the thought easily. she remembers ed as a tomboy, of course, and with that name who can blame her. but no one’s first thought is unprecendented human transmutation when presented with someone’s who’s a different gender than the one she remembers.
ellie is like oh, is winry looking to settle down? but pinako scoffs, says she’s a career gal through and through. but her other girl, eden – she has a wandering spirit, but she’s a good girl, a lovely country bred woman who’s looking to be a housewife (ellie’s idea of housewife and ed’s idea of a housewife vary wildly, but pinako’s not about to bring that up). so pinako sends a message to her children, and ellie sends one to her grandson: she’s sending a young woman to central from their hometown. she’s single, and looking to settle down, and the granddaughter of an old family friend.
so jean havoc gets this letter, completely and utterly horrified. the whole team makes fun of him. but grandmother eleanor rules the family with an iron fist, and havoc better come up with a damn good reason not to marry this girl. he’d not interested in a country mouse for a wife. before he can think of one, eden has already agreed and is on a train to central. she convinces al to stay behind, just for a couple of weeks, because she doesn’t want him scaring this jean havoc off.
ed is gorgeous, and a genius, and an absolute terror. she’s dated a lot of men, slept with just as many, and hasn’t found a single one worth her time. she doubts she’ll be interested in a boy from their little rural town, but pinako knows her and she trusts the old woman’s judgement. if she thinks jean havoc is someone who could make her happy, eden is more than willing to give it a shot.
so havoc has to leave early from work to meet his amost-maybe-fiance at the train. obviously, the team minus hawkeye follows him. they’re dying to know.
a country girl. they were expecting a country girl, someone wide eyed, unpolished, a little out of her depth. instead they get eden elric, a girl who’s been to cities and knows how to dress for it. they get eden elric, black boots and black leather pants and a black shirt with a dramatic red coat flaring out behind her. eden elric, golden eyes and golden hair and in the setting afternoon sun just golden. she smiles when she sees him and jean’s mouth goes dry and his heart goes zing! and havoc is going to send his grandmother some really nice flowers. “you must be jean,” she says, voice low and smoky, eyes crinkling at the corners. “you look like your father.”
“i, you,” he fumbles, holding out his hand to shake and stepping forward to take her bag at the same time. “hi.”
“hi,” she repeats, and he’s screwed, she’s already laughing at him and it hasn’t even been five minutes. “did you know you’re being followed?”
he sighs and doesn’t look behind him. “those would be my coworkers and my superior office.”
“delightful,” she says, dry and completely unimpressed, and she’s from resembool, his job and his rank is worse than useless with her, it’s a detriment. none of that crowd like the military. his mother hadn’t talked to him for over a year after he enlisted. “that won’t do. we’ll have to ditch them.”
“how?” he asks, and she grins, sharp. he takes her to his car and she shoves him in the passenger seat and climbs in the driving one, breaking about a thousand laws as she careens down crowded city streets. jean’s horrified for about thirty seconds, then he’s egging her on and cheering, directing her down roads whenever she hesitates and laughing the whole time.
they make it to where he was supposed to drop her off, beaming. “usually men throw up when they drive with me,” she says, beaming.
“nah, that wasn’t scary, it was fun,” he says, and he’s already kissed this relationship goodbye before it’s started. she’s beautiful and brave and exudes the same type of easy confidence the colonel does, and that’s not something he’ll ever be able to match. she’s no country mouse. she’s a supernova, and he’s stardust.
eden smiles at him, and says, “would you like to meet me for lunch, jean?”
havoc peers up at the building, and it’s central university. he wouldn’t have expected a country girl / wanna be housewife to be pursuing a degree, but clearly he should toss every preconceived notion he had about eden out the window, because none of them are going to be right.
“yes,” he says, because eden will make an effort with him for a while, he knows, since she’s here on the insistence of both their grandmothers. but she’ll grow tired of him eventually, like they all do, and jean intends to spend as much time with her as she can before that happens.
except it doesn’t happen. she’s kind and smart, so unbelievable smart, and dry and biting. she snores when she sleeps and get snappy when he interrupts her reading, refuses to drink milk and hates brushing her hair, so more often than not it’s up in a truly awful ponytail. he likes these things about her best, because her little imperfections, her temper and her skittering attention, the messy way she eats, all make her human. she’s flawed, and each new one havoc finds delights him, because the fact that she leaves crumbs on the counter brings her just a little closer to his level.
they keep going out. the brother shows up, and gives him one overly-firm handshake, then takes his lead from eden. she’s happy with him, so alphonse is happy with him, but he imagines the easy friendship he shares with the other man would disintegrate the second eden indicates she’s moved on from him. eden talks about her classes and the kids in them, which ones are good students and which ones aren’t, and havoc keeps meaning to ask what exactly she’s studying but it keeps slipping his mind. he listens to her talk about it for hours, but it’s all science mumbo jumbo and honestly goes in one ear and out the other. he just likes listening to her talk when she’s excited.
she follows him home about a month in, and the sex is so amazingly mind numbingly good it almost doesn’t seem real.
she comes to office one day to meet him for lunch, a first because she hates his office and his work and the impasse they’ve managed to maintain about his career is that they just don’t talk about it much. but she shows up, pretty pale pink dress and softly curled hair, looking close to the delicate country girl they all expected her to be. havoc is running late, and when he shows up it’s to eden sitting on hawkeye’s desk and laughing with the woman. it’s a terrifying experience. he didn’t know hawkeye could laugh.
but she’s around more after that, befriends hawkeye, and jean finds out that eden met catherine armstrong on campus and they’re fast friends, she spends a lot of time at the Armstrong mansion. and havoc is sure that’s it, that eden will meet strong, rich alex and their relationship will go out in flames. but it doesn’t happen, eden keeps asking to see him and he keeps saying yes.
it’s been almost a year when eleanor barks down the line, “are you going to marry this girl or not, jean?”
“i don’t know if that’s something she’s interested in,” he says, because he’s not the marrying sort, but for eden? he would be willing. he’d be a husband if it meant having eden as a wife.
his grandmother scoffs down the line, “she’s a smart girl, jean. if she’s still seeing you, she’s interested in it. she didn’t move to central to date you. the girl wants to be a housewife.”
and jean hems and haws, but the thing is he does love eden. and maybe, just maybe, eden loves him. so he goes to hawkeye for help, and she goes, “oh thank god, finally.” havoc is offended for all of two seconds before realizing that means eden’s been waiting for him to propose. yes.
he’s walking down the street with her after a movie, holding up his jacket over both of them as some sort of minimal protection from the rain. there’s a ring burning a hole in his pocket, but thanks to the torrential downpour this is not the romantic evening he intended. they see roy, and are confused for about to seconds until they see serial killer scar going to attack him. havoc yells at eden to run, and she does – right at the serial killer.
but then she does something he’s never seen her do, she claps her hand together and blue energy cracks in the air, and – she’s an alchemist?
he really should have had that conversation about what she’s studying at university.
she good, incredible good, and he knew she worked out, but he didn’t know she was combat trained. she launches a relentless alchemica/physical attack against scar that has him running away with his tail between his legs. ed’s helping roy up when jean runs up and grabs her by shoulders to shout, “you’re an alchemist!”
“what,” she blinks, “of course I am? i talk about it all the time! i know i teach the advanced theoretical alchemy seminar, but my knowledge isn’t theoretical. what kind of professor would i be if I didn’t’ test my own theories before teaching them?”
“teach,” he says faintly, “professor. right.” he’s such an idiot, eden isn’t attending central university, she’s teaching there.
she gives him an odd look, and okay, his girlfriend is way more awesome and too good for him than he previously thought, but that doesn’t change anything.
“will you marry me?” he asks. they’re sweat, rain, and blood soaked. roy has horrible gash on his side, and he thinks eden might have a broken arm. he had a speech planned, but he can’t remember it right now. “you do still want to be a housewife, right?” he knows better now, that eden will never be the traditional housewife. but he can give her a home and his name, and, oh god, kids, when she wants them. he’ll give her everything within his power to give her, if only she’ll take it.
“finally,” eden and roy say at the same time, and havoc doesn’t have the time to get flustered before she’s kissing him.
A soft knocking on a motel door, wouldn´t wake many of the people. Sam, however, wasn´t just a regular. Hunter instincts have saved him from many sticky situations. Also his intelligence, but he had to admit there were times when Dean could thought up of better tactics. Speaking of Dean, he was sleeping like a baby. Sam chose to not interumpt his sleep. Yesterday´s werewolf hunt had been an exhausting one.
Sam grabbed a silver knife from his lampstand and cautiously approached the door. The werewolf they hunted down could have some buddies near the town.
Nothing could´ve prepared him for the view he met when he opened the door though.
„Who are you and what are you doing on my doorstep at 2 in the morning ?“ he asked the hillariously short figure that stood in front of him, while holding his knife close. It certainly wasn´t a human.
„I come in peace.“ Said the figure in a shaky voice. „I-I´ve been cast out of my home planet.“
„Dean, wake up.“ Sam shouted out into the darkness of the room where his older brother slept, maintaining defensive stance, just in case the creature was lying.
„Sam, if you´re trying to get me to live healthy, you better stop now. I am not going jogging with you ever again!“ Dean waved his hand at Sam and turned on the other side. He was having such a nice dream. He wanted to go back and drown himself into those heavenly blue orbs.
„I am not taking you jogging, and never will since the time you used my running clothes to get laid. This is an emergency!“ Sam´s voice was gradually getting more desperate.
„Is Hell freezing solid or what?“ asked Dean, finally getting up and fixing his wild hair sticking out in every angle possible and grabbing the nearest clean pair of pants.
„Sir, from the little I know about Hell and it´s culture, that´s scientifically impossible.“
„SON OF A BITCH!“ screamed Dean, subsequently getting stuck while trying to put on his flannel shirt. „Sam, WHAT is this ?“ he asked, pointing at the figure near Sam.
„Dean, calm down, it´s just a harmless refugee. I guess.“
„Also an alien. Actual, breathing, grey-skinned alien... wait, a refugee ?“
„Yes, sir, I am indeed what humans call refugee.“ Said the alien, with a glimpse of nostalgia in her big black eyes „I´ve crashed near your residence in the foliage of local growth. By the laws of Claes'od, I am your slave now.“
The small figure fell on the knees and bowed in front of the hunters. Neighter of them seemed to be comfortable with that.
„You are not our slave.“ Said Sam, „Laws in here forbid slavery. Plus, it would be highly immoral.“
„Sam´s right. We will get you back home to your kind in no time, pal.“
„No, you don´t understand! I can´t go home. I was exiled because I commited an unforgivable crime against my family.“ Ranted the disstressed alien. „When saving people from a burning building I put my mate before my parents, resulting in their death. THE MATE! Do you even realize what that means ? Blood is thicker than water, and that´s a law!“
„What´s your name ?“ asked Dean quietly, kneeling next to the small frame of the Claes'od
„Maxiprgpjadosj´evenuu“ she whined softly.
„Okay... Max.. ughh, can I call you that ?“ she nodded and Dean continued „You see, the world is not so simple. Same goes for the relationships. If your kind wants to dick around and make it a law, it´s their choose, but here on Earth, family doesn´t end in blood, and it doesn´t start there eighter.“
„Thank you, human Dean.“
„Now that that´s settled, we should probably hide the ship, or whatever you arived on, before anyone finds it. Last thing we need around now is guys from Area 51.“
„Oh don´t worry, the ship has invisibility shield that mimics it´s surroundings. Only beings with hightened perception of light wavelenght can see the minimal anomalies it causes.“
„Fair enough, but let´s go check it, just in case it isn´t hidden enough.“ Said Sam.
„Good idea.“ Agreed Max
„Let´s go ship-hunting then. I´ll man the flashlight.“ Said Dean with a child-like grin on his face.
The group of three had searched the bushes behind the motel up and down, but they couldn´t find anything, by seeing or just hitting it accidentally. As Max grew anxious, Dean was getting annoyed by it.
„I don´t understand. The ship is invisible, not immaterial. It´s gone.“ Max cried out
„Well, maybe that, or maybe you were just lying.“ Dean spat out his doubts
„Guys, I think it was rather stolen.“ Said Sam „There´s a tiny bit of sulphur.“
„So demons. This night just keeps getting better.“
„It´s not going to be the night for much longer. Max will need some disguise, and probably food.“
„Food ? Oh you must mean nutritiens. No, I do not. My species lives similarly to plants on this planet. We breathe oxygen and carbon dioxyde to create energy.“
„Well, that helps with a budget. Let´s find you some human clothes, then. Your current outfit could draw unwanted attention.“ Said Sam, pointing to the sleek fabric that shifted colors with every move.
Naturally, every piece of clothing was huge on Max, but after a bit of tearing and stitching here and there, Sam and Dean quickly made them suit her thin body.
„Now, just one last thing – a big hat and a pair of sunglasses.“ Said Dean putting them on. The hat couldn´t be tailored to fit Max´s small head, but with the sunglasses it covered most of her face.
„I think we are golden this way. Maybe we could head out to the Bob-“
The light in the cheap stinky motel room flickered.
Most of the people wouldn´t be bothered by this, in fact they would expected the lights to flicker – but not the Winchesters.
„Grab a shotgun and let´s go. Looks like the demons came back.“ Shouted Dean, tossing one to Sam.
The trio ran towards the Impala and soon they were speeding on a highway followed by an enormous cloud of black smoke.
„We gotta get rid of them, Dean. They don´t seem to be keen on letting us go just like that.“
„I know Sam, but what chance do we stand. It´s not like we have demon-killing bombs on us. Our best chance is getting the demons as far from the town as possible and then put up the best fight we can manage.“
The atmosphere in the Impala was dark, but there still was a glistering sliver of hope. Max turned in her seat and studied the cloud closely.
„Do you have any kind of energy package on you that you don´t mind destroying ?“ she asked
„You mean a battery of some sort?“ Sam answered
„Yes, a battery. A smaller one, preferably.“ Said Max „But hurry, they are getting close.“
Sam quickly pulled out his phone out of his pocket and threw the battery from inside it into Max´s hands.
„Will do. Now, stop the transport machine, Dean, I need to get out.“
„Are you crazy ? Aparently they are after you, and we can´t fight them all.“
„You can´t fight them...“ Max corrected „...but I can.“ She took of her necklace with a large pendant made of strange stone. It seemed to glow softly, shifting even, as i fit contained something.
„When I´m out of the car, close your eyes. They are too delicate for what´s about to come.“
„Okay, Mad Max, but you have only one chance at this. Better make it count in the afterlife.“ Said Dean as he jumped on breaks and send the Impala into spin. The front now faced the smoke which menacingly flew closer with every second.
Max didn´t wait for second signal. She jumped out of car, with phone battery and the pendant, one in each hand. She joined them together in a loud bang as the sparks of electricity cracked around it. She threw the pendant on the ground as she looked fiercely into the smoke.
„Eat this“
The battery flew right into the middle of the cloud and exploded from the amount of energy it was forced to take in.
Luckily, they´ve been far enough from the town, so the citizens only saw something very similar to fireworks.
„What a bunch of idiots... It´s not the 4th of July yet.“ Old, grumpy sheriff Todd said to himself as he fell back into dreamless sleep.
honorable tag: @cas-is-my-hero - because you can´t just ditch the prompt source
tags: @moostache @dragon-tail @wildtendermythologia @shit-happens-bitchachos @mishacrazyworld @snovolovac @nicowhereinhadesareyou @geekself @funnycas - feel free to reblog and spread this like a wildfire (it´s not funny or anything, but hey, I am narcissist who wants some attention, sue me for that xD)