Below the cut is a template to help you think of lines for whatever character you can think of to serve as the dealer in a hypothetical Poker Night 3. You don’t need to do all of these, and you can even add new contexts; all that’s required of you is that you do your best to keep the characters…well, in-character, and more importantly, have fun. : )
In the case of the Dealer, it’s recommended that a patient character is picked -- seeing as all they’re doing the whole game is calling poker hands and announcing winners and whoever gets busted out -- though you could find convincing reasons for impatient characters to keep playing the role of the dealer.
Calling Hands
(”[This Character or The Player] has...” “...and [This Character or The Player] has...” Some characters serving as dealers might have their own nicknames for the people at the table.)
Announcing Hand Winners
General
(”[This Character or The Player] wins.”)
With Better Hands
(”[Character or The Player] wins...with [the higher pairs, the high trips/triples, the bigger house, the high quads/quadruples, the high straight, the high flush, an ace (the king, queen, jack, 10...) kicker, or the high card on the straight flush])
Side Pots
(You can find an explanation on side pots here.)
(”On the side pot.../On the first side pot...” “And on the second side pot.../On the second side pot...” “And on the (rare) third sidepot.../On the (rare) third sidepot...” “And on the main pot.../And on the big pot.../And FINALLY, on the big pot...”
Tie/Draw/Splitting the Pot
Everyone Else Folded
(”[Character or The Player] takes/steals the pot.”)
Everyone Else Folded Pre-Flop
(”[Character or The Player] takes/steals the blinds.”)
Eliminations (minus The Player)
(Examples: “[Character] has been eliminated.” or “[Character] has been busted out.”)
Raising the Blinds
(Depending on the stakes for the tournament, the blinds start at a comparatively low number. In Poker Night 1, the starting blinds for the $10,000 buy-in tourneys were 200/400, while in Poker Night 2, the $20,000 tourneys had 400/800 starting blinds. The blinds are periodically raised as follows (using Poker Night 2′s starting blinds as a starting point):
600/1200
800/1600
1000/2000
1200/2400
etc. Notice the pattern; the low blinds are raised by $200 each time, while the high blinds are double the amount of the low blinds. Remember this.)
Putting in Bounty Items
First Time
(When all the player characters have run out of items to use as bounty items, the dealer can offer something. The same rules for the Bounty Challenge apply as before.)
Following Times
The Player is Eliminated
The Player Wins the Tournament
The Player is Eliminated
Conventional Dealer Quotes
(general)
(after the Player has been eliminated several times in a row already)
Personal Quotes
The Player Makes a Big Bet (at least 4x the full blind)
The Player Raises (to make at least 4x the full blind)
The Player Calls a Big Bet (at least 4x the full blind)
The Player Checks
The Player Folds (After the Flop is Revealed)
Large Pot (at least buy-in price (i.e. $20,000 in Poker Night 2))
The Player Wins With a Good Hand (AK, QQ, KK, AA or at least Three of a Kind)/Wins a Hand in Omaha Hold 'Em
Below the cut is a template to help you think of lines for whatever character you can think of to put in a hypothetical Poker Night 3. You don’t need to do all of these, and you can even add new contexts; all that’s required of you is that you do your best to keep the characters...well, in-character, and more importantly, have fun. : ) (NOTE: Some things are further explained for the sake of new fans, plus there are some lines not commonly heard in either of the games.)
Wagering Item
(Sometimes a player might forget to bring their money, and decide to buy in with something they could afford to lose yet is also worth the price of admission. Whoever knocks this character out will receive the item. If you eliminate them, you can use this item in another game, like Team Fortress 2.)
...Alternatively...
Putting in Bounty Item
(This is another method of obtaining items to use in other games, but executed differently. If The Player accomplishes three goals during the Bounty Challenge, one of the other characters (first the other players, then the dealer) will put in an item of great value (even if only to themselves). If you win the tournament, you will receive this item and, as a result, unlock items to use in other games, the menu of your video game console, etc. If you are eliminated, the character will take back the item, and you’ll have to play again to win it.)
First Time
(Usually, the character may be reluctant to let the item go, but exceptions are possible.)
Following Times
Taunting
“Call My Bet!”
(Pretty much what it says on the tin: the character who bet, raised, or went all in will brag about how big their bet was, and might even try to persuade you to call their bet or fold.)
“Call His/Her/Their Bet!”
(A player might accuse another character who made a bit bet, raised, or went all in of bluffing, or otherwise comment on the situation that the better/raiser/whatever in question put you in.)
Thinking
(general; before checking, folding, or [calling/betting/raising to make] at least 4x the full blind)
(In general, the character will hum in thought or mutter to themselves things like “Let’s see...” or “Well...” before they decide to take action.)
(with nothing to call; [betting/raising to make] at least 4x the full blind)
(with a big bet to call; at least 5x the full blind)
(after consecutive small bets/raises and/or calls; before [calling/raising to make] at least 4x the full blind)
(In this and the above cases, the character might wonder to themselves if somebody’s bluffing.)
The Player Bets
(general)
(This assumes the player makes a small bet, less than 4x the full blind.)
(after folding)
(big bet; at least 4x the full blind)
Betting
(general)
(small bet; less than 6x the full blind)
(big bet; at least 6x the full blind)
The Player Raises
(general)
(It should be noted that raising, and especially re-raising, is considered poor etiquette in poker, which is already, in Brock Samson’s words, “kind of a jerk game”. Raising the blinds instead of calling them is probably even worse. Still, this won’t stop other characters from also raising.)
(small raise; to make up to 4x the full blind)
(big raise; to make more than 4x the full blind)
(standard)
(while still in play; includes re-raising reactions)
(after folding; includes re-raising reactions)
(If the character in question has already folded, they won’t be as concerned about you raising, and if they’re of a crueler disposition, they might approve, especially if you’re re-raising.)
Raising
(general)
(small raise; to make less than 6x the full blind)
(big raise; to make at least 6x the full blind)
(re-raise)
The Player Checks
(Checking is usually considered weak and/or boring, so expect one of the other players to make fun of you for it. They’ll likely even take it to mean you have a weak hand.)
Checking
(general)
(last to check)
(If everyone else has checked during a betting round, the last player to check might comment on how boring said round has been, perhaps even making sarcastic remarks about “the thrill of high-stakes poker”.)
The Player Calls a Big Bet; more than 4x the full blind
(This may surprise the other players, and make them wonder what kind of hand you have. One of them might even let on that they’re impressed, or they’ll ask you if you’re sure that was a good idea.)
Calling
(general)
(calling the blinds)
(By calling the blinds, the player agrees to playing the current hand, and thus might say something along the lines of “I’ll play”.)
(calling small bet; less than 6x the full blind)
(calling big bet; at least 6x the full blind)
(Example: “I’m not afraid.”)
(at the river (fifth and final community card) before the showdown)
(general)
(Example: “Alright, let’s see you guys’s cards.”)
(if there hasn’t been a showdown in a while)
(Example: “I’m sick of folding. Let’s go.”)
Can’t Afford Blind
All In
(betting/raising)
(general)
(The character going all in may try to appear threatening or may seem confident. Proceed with caution.)
(more than $1200)
(calling)
(general)
(Sometimes, the only way a character can call a bet or a raise is if they go all in. If you prefer, you could call this a “Call In”, as Claptrap has. Anyway, the caller in question might either be confident or apprehensive.)
(more than $1200)
All In Reaction
(general)
(Usually, this will impress or shock the other players.)
(The Player goes All In)
(For whatever reason, some characters have special reactions for when The Player goes all in.)
(while dueling with The Player)
The Player Must Go All In to Call
(If a character makes a bet or raises high enough that the player will either need to “Call In” or fold, they might taunt them accordingly.)
Player Folds (after flop (first three community cards) is revealed)
(Examples: “That’s probably a good idea.” or “See you next hand, wimp.”)
Folding
(general)
(Players will often if not always be reluctant to fold. There’s even a pause at the beginning of their animation; hesitation.)
(last to fold)
(After a player makes a bet and others start raising (and one might even go all in), there’s a chance the other players will fold. The final player to fold may express frustration, dismay, or admiration, and say something along the lines of “Take it” or “You can have it”. Another commonly-used line is, “That’s too rich for my blood.” For the sake of creativity, you could change the line to suit the character.)
(leaving at least two opponents still in play)
(Examples: “I’m gonna leave you to fight amongst yourselves.” or “You guys have fun without me.”)
(pre-flop)
(Examples: “Ugh, these aren’t even worth the price of the blinds.” or “These cards suck.”)
(consecutive pre-flop folds)
(The character might complain to or about the dealer giving them another lousy hand.)
(any point after the flop)
(Example: “Well, this was a bad idea. Fold.”)
(at the flop)
(Examples: “What an awful flop!” or “I seriously paid to see that?” Similar things can be said about the turn and the river.)
(at the turn (fourth community card))
(at the river)
(Example: “To think I had come so far, too! Fold.”)
Large Pot (at least buy-in price (i.e. $20,000 in Poker Night 2))
(Example: “Well, this could go either way. Let’s see some community cards!”)
During Showdown
(Usually, between community card reveals, the characters don’t speak, instead reacting via non-verbal animations. There are a few times, however, when their voice can be heard, usually muttering something like “Come on, come on...” in anticipation.)
Winning
(winning a showdown and/or dueling with The Player)
(stealing the pot (everyone folded to [this character]))
(Example: “For me? You shouldn’t have!”)
(consecutive wins)
(Example: “I’m on a roll!”)
(after a long win-less streak)
(Example: “It’s about time!”)
Winning Another Player’s Wagered Item
(Here, they usually comment on the item they’ve won.)
Gets Good Hand (Straight or Better), But Still Didn't Win
(They usually express frustration, perhaps even anger, when their awesome hand lost to an even better one.)
The Player Wins With a Good Hand (AK, QQ, KK, AA or at least Three of a Kind) or Wins a Hand in Omaha Hold 'Em
(They’ll either compliment The Player’s hand, or they’ll say something along the lines of, “Of course you won with those cards; anyone could’ve won with those!”)
Player Has a Bad Hand (High Card/One Pair)
(They’ll comment on how awful the other player’s hand is, sometimes by asking why they played it.)
Loses With an Even Worse Hand Than The Player (High Card)
(Something along the lines of, “How did I lose to that!?” May express feelings of humiliation and/or embarrassment.)
Splitting the Pot (Tie/Draw)
(general)
(Example: “Well, that was anti-climactic.”)
(while low on funds)
(Example: “Whew... That could’ve been worse.”)
Starting a Duel with The Player
(general)
(Example: “Looks like it’s just you and me, faceless protagonist.”)
(within the first raising of the blinds)
(Example: “Those other guys sure left in a hurry!” (referring to the other characters previously playing))
(with the Bounty Item out)
(Example: “I’m not giving this thing up so easily!”)
The Player is Eliminated
(general)
(while the Bounty Item is out)
Eliminated From Play
(general)
(losing a wagered item)
The Player Wins the Tournament (Theme-less Tournaments Only)
The Player Wins the Bounty Challenge
Winning the Tournament
The Player is Idle
(Something along the lines of “You’re taking too long!” or “It’s your turn!”)
Special
No eliminations when the first blind-raising occurs
(Example: “What’ll it take to knock one of you out?”)
The Bounty Item is out and no one has been eliminated by the first raising of the blinds
(Sometimes, before a hand is dealt, the character might ask or wonder aloud why any of the other players would want the item in question, or they’ll ask if they’re sure they want it, trying to convince them to drop out.)
Above condition by the second raising of the blinds
No showdowns lately
(Comments about all the folding or teasing about being unable to lift and turn over the cards.)
Lots of showdowns have taken place recently
(Example: “This has been a pretty exciting evening so far!”)
Late in the game of a long tournament where drinks have been purchased
(Comment about the quality of the liquor in the Inventory or showing signs of getting legitimately drunk. Either way, they stop drinking for the rest of the tournament after this.)
When Getting a Drink
(Usually thanking The Player for ordering, expressing suspicion of the seemingly kind gesture, or making a comment to whoever brought the drink(s) to the table.)
Drinking
(If they say anything, they might comment on how good the liquor is. Otherwise, vocalizations you’re more likely to hear from them are a satisfied sigh or a belch.)
Continuing a Conversation
(Small quips along the lines of “Anyway...” or “As I was saying...” before continuing a conversation interrupted by an all in, a showdown, or one of the players stealing the pot.)
