Happy Birthday To Xalvadora Polo Romero (Hero Name: Polecat)
The heavy scent of maple syrup, sizzling bacon, and buttery eggs drifted into the bedroom, waking eight-year-old Xalvadora from a deep sleep. She blinked, rubbing her eyes as her parents strolled into the room clad in their morning house robes, balancing a towering breakfast tray.
Standing side-by-side were the city’s premier heroine, Green Rod (Paulina Romero nee Polo), and its most notorious supervillain, Coyote (Brian Romero).
"Surprise! Happy 8th Birthday, Dori!" Paulina cheered.
Beside her, Coyote let out a series of deep, rhythmic, gravelly growls and chuffs. To anyone else, it would sound like a terrifying, localized earthquake. To his family, it was perfectly clear: “Happy birthday, princess. We made you a mountain.”
Xalvadora beamed, sitting up as they settled the massive tray onto her lap. While they had celebrated her birthdays in the past, this was the first time they were doing it under one roof as an official, married family. It had taken two years of standby engagement rings and patient waiting for Coyote to finally convince the reluctant heroine to say "yes," but the payoff was sweeter than the syrup.
"Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad!"
Paulina leaned down, kissing her daughter’s cheek. "You're very welcome, sweetie."
Coyote extended a massive, slate-grey hand. His razor-sharp claws, capable of tearing through reinforced military steel, patted Xalvadora’s head with the delicate precision of a surgeon. The feared, heavy-metal-themed nuclear zombie easily folded into putty around his wife and daughter.
"Do I get presents and cake in bed, too?" Xalvadora asked, her eyes wide with excitement.
Paulina laughed, already picking a piece of bacon off the plate and popping it into her mouth. "Presents and cake come later. Eat your breakfast first so we can get ready for the party."
Coyote let out a low, rumbling huff that vibrated through the floorboards. “Your mother means if there is any breakfast left for you. She’s eating for three now.”
It was true—three months into her pregnancy with twins, Paulina’s heroine-grade metabolism had skyrocketed into a black hole of hunger. Xalvadora had inherited that exact same bottomless pit of a stomach. Without missing a beat, the young girl grabbed her fork and knife and began digging into the stack with feral speed, matching her mother’s enthusiasm for the food.
"Will Abuela and Abuelo be there?" Xalvadora asked between massive mouthfuls.
"Of course," Paulina said, pouring a generous extra river of syrup over the pancakes.
"And everyone else? Even Uncle Omega and Auntie Meagan?"
Coyote’s ears pinned back, and he let out a sharp, guttural hiss. “Do we have to invite that glowing boyscout?”
Paulina nudged his ribs playfully. "Be nice, Brian. He’s my mentor. He’s basically your brother-in-law at this point."
Despite their public status as bitter archenemies, the private reality between Coyote and Omega Nuclear had evolved into a bizarre, begrudging family dynamic. Because Paulina was Omega’s former sidekick and viewed as a little sister, the two heavyweights had no choice but to tolerate each other over backyard barbecues.
To add to the chaos, Omega’s wife, Meagan, was currently seven months pregnant with their third child, meaning the party would be packed with their two cousins: eight-year-old Leona and four-year-old Kassandra.
"Awesome!" Xalvadora cheered, completely unfazed by her dad's dramatic villain growls.
She happily swallowed another massive forkful of eggs. Looking at her mom’s growing bump, her dad’s gentle, monstrous smile, and the feast before her, Xalvadora knew her eighth birthday was already perfect. For a kid who was nuclear zombie, having her family safe, happy, and under one roof was the best gift she could ever ask for.