#faq funny

[demie90s]

🥴 Oh Look..more shit I didn’t ask for:

1. I only drink room temp water. Sometimes warm. I don’t care. Cold water got too much attitude.

2. I make a mean-ass jollof rice and I will talk shit while you eat it.

3. hate people who talk too damn much. Like… breathe. Shut up a little bit.

4. I love “DTF” by Stunna Girl like it’s speaks to my core.

5. I hate touch-me-nots. Like why are you here if I can’t touch? Be serious. Go home.

6. Older Black women? Yeah. Them the ones. Every time. Queen Latifah, Angela Bassett , Viola Davis, Keri Washington, Danai Gurira, Lupita Nyong’o

7. Only man I ever liked was Chris Tucker—and that’s cause he funny. Even then… eh.

8. Men just turn me off. Like not even in a hateful way… just like ick. I’d rather chew glass.

9. I hate watermelon. Shit it’s disgusting in the most disrespectful way‼️

[demie90s]

🌟 Fun Facts About Your Favorite Person™ 🌟

• I love Tropic Thunder like it’s a personality trait. And Iron Man. Yeah, that’s my man. Don’t bring up Endgame I’m still grieving. (Not like that.)

• I hate BBLs. Especially when you get one at 18–22. Girl your hips ain’t even clocked in yet, why you built like a trending topic??

• Everything I own should be pink. I bought a tablet ‘cause it was pink and never used it. Priorities.

• I’ve had 17 piercings. Currently 10. None of them hurt. Yes, I ate Chipotle after my tongue piercing. Yes, I want more.

• My vertical labret was that girl. Septum had beef with me tho I got it three times.

• I wear a size 10 shoe ‼️ Go ahead, make your jokes—I’ll stomp you cute. Shit yall short it’ll be easy🤷🏾‍♀️

• I have two dogs: Caine (Pitbull) and Bernie (Mini Pin). They know I’m dramatic.

• Halloween and Christmas are my Super Bowls. I celebrate with full delusion.

• I have 5 tattoos and a sixth one loading the second I get bored enough.

• I like the heat. Like mini-heater-to-the-face heat. Like “almost burned the house down” levels of delulu comfort. My mom hates it. And be under the covers and everything.

• I love unnecessarily huge knives. Why you need it? They make me giggle.🤭

• Patron over Don Julio. I don’t even drink like that just on my birthday…and my mom’s… and maybe my siblings’. Shut up.

• I love big dogs. Like Cane Corso big. The type that look like they pay rent. Or should have to.

• Let’s bump pocketbooks. I’m just saying, what’s the fun in strap? GET ME AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE😛‼️‼️

• I love me a “lay back and take it” girly. If you don’t listen, that’s fine I’ll show you. IM JOKING IM JOKING 🙃

• I out-freak a lotta people. Not that I’m keeping score… unless I win.

• I want a bestfriend irl but I’m the type to fall in love. I’m so serious. I be wanting to fuck 🤷🏾‍♀️

[demie90s]

More stuff about me you don’t need to know:

• i love when people ask me for help. feeling down? we’re opening the windows, cleaning up, then going outside. you’re not alone—what am i here for otherwise?

• i have a dog named Brio Leonardo Rene Black. yes, i made him a birth certificate and social security card. mind your business.

• i clean in the morning like it’s a spiritual ritual.

• i love Central Intelligence. anything with Kevin Hart and The Rock? I’m in.

• i make handmade gifts like a love-drunk elf. it’s not even that deep—I just like making people feel special.

• i’ve never studied a day in my life. prioritizing school? couldn’t tell you how.

• i’ll eat dragon fruit every day if left unsupervised.

• i make birria tacos way too often. my family’s tired of it. i’m not.

• i bake weekly like someone’s paying me. favorites? cinnamon rolls, snickerdoodles, raspberry lemon loaves.

• i love Stephen King books. like… too much.

• escape rooms but make them VR. peak entertainment.

• i suck at texting. FaceTime only. even if i’m silent. even if i’m asleep.

• i adore people who want to do stuff. you wanna participate in life? marry me.

[demie90s]

✦ more things you really don’t need to know about me, but here we go anyway ✦

— I’m in LA every weekend. For what? No clue. I just be there. I’m here right now🤷🏾‍♀️

— I could talk about dinosaurs until I literally die. I got facts on facts. If I have nothing to do Animal documentaries are on.

— I have an unexplainable love for hotels and motels. It’s ✨home✨.

— I don’t have a type.

— I wouldn’t say I’m nonchalant… but like, let’s wrap it up. Please.

— I can’t stand loud people. Volume does not equal impact. Be quiet before I start blinking aggressively.

— I 100% buck at kids when their parents aren’t looking. Builds character.

— I’m nice as hell, though. Just don’t confuse that with soft.

— If you ask me to do something at 2 a.m.? You don’t even need to finish the sentence. I’m already outside.

— In-N-Out? Ass.

—Chic-fil-A? Superior. A love language.

[demie90s]

Now tell me are you a boobs or ass type of girl?🤨

I don’t care if you got both, just one, or absolutely nothing. I like it all. I been saying that. People love asking that like it matter. If I like you, I like you. I’m not clocking your body parts. Boobs, ass, neither—I’m still gon’ look. Still gon’ like it. Still gone risk it.

I’m not picky. You fine? That’s enough. I’m good. I’ve never seen a woman and been like ‘damn, if only she had ___.’ Be serious. That’s lame asl. I’ve never understood it.

And don’t let em be funny cause I’m wayyyy to easy😒

[demie90s]

Fun facts I guess 🙄

– I’m actually shy in person. That don’t mean shit though.

– I had a K-pop phase and learned damn near every ITZY dance. Ask me to show you and I might.

– I’m a virgin. Once again don’t mean shit. Yall believe me right?

– When people hurt me, I don’t be wishing them well. I be praying for karma in 4K. Like “I hope you lose everything in the same week. No breaks.”

– Lowkey wanna move to the South.

–Shamar be cracking me tf up🤣

–I love interacting with you guys. Like don’t be weird though. But like if you funny talk to me.

–I be wanting to cut my hair off cause I get to hot.

– I wish I was built like Teyana Taylor but God gave me Ice Spice. Nothing wrong with it but I wanna look like I can throw somebody through drywall.

–I be staring at every darkskin I see. Like don’t matter what they look like. I just can’t help it😛

– I think I can twerk. Like my shit be moving. No mirror. No music. 😮‍💨

[demie90s]

My Bullshit is Your Bullshit

• My go-to when I’m mad? “I don’t give a rat’s anal cavity.” Real poetic.

• I don’t actually read fanfics like that. I’ve tried, but I hate reading fr. I only read mine—and that’s just to edit them. 🤷🏾‍♀️

• I barely cuss. It feels weird coming out my mouth.

• We’re all a little delusional. Let’s be real.

• My biggest fears? The ocean and heights. Because why is it possible to vanish completely into water and never be seen again? Be serious.

• I don’t want a girlfriend right now. I don’t think it’s a good time to be obsessed with anybody. I’m just… not ready.

• All the best smut is written at night. I can’t explain it. The moon got a grip?

• I hate when studs act like men. And if you know, you know. It’s giving unnecessarily masculine. Diabolical, even. Like when they don’t take care of themselves cause “that’s lame” or like dont embrace the feminine side like AT ALL. EVERRRR

• I mostly drink water. I’m a Stanley girl. But if I am gonna sip on something else? Cotton Candy Faygo.

• My body gives sometimes. Like… when it wants to. And I hate that.

• I be like “ion care fr” and then write a 97,000 word fic about it.

• RYKKY and TaeHustle my favorite content creators

• If I say “be safe” oh boy am I judging the hell out of you

• I trust my intuition. Unless I’m horny. Then I trust nothing.

• I will make a playlist about a girl I’ve never spoken to.