Letter #5
February 9, 2022 (12:07am)
Dear You,
Listen to my story...
Since I was a child, I've been interested in tales of love. Someone that doesn't fit for a young one, but I like the feeling it gives me. It's is overwhelming and addictive. I've been chasing it for years, yet never give any to myself. I am lacking confidence and doubt that anyone will like me, so I am pressured into being someone likeable.
But, it came…
...the thought of being in love, treasured and having someone by my side at the same time. I felt happy -- and insecure. Scared of losing this blissful feeling, I trade myself. I became someone who always pleases everyone, in order not to lose the attraction they provide. I knew I will be lonely if I lose them.
But, it happened...
Years went by, filling up the void, I met someone whom I am sure won't ever leave me. Myself.
I loved myself in the process of healing, and this is where I built the confidence I never thought I'll ever have. I became someone who doesn't depend on anyone just to be happy and feel enough. I know I can be alone and stay happy...
... And so I thought.
As I see the new me unfolding brilliantly, my heart opens up and felt ready to meet the one who can bring my walls down.. My New Love.
Someone that will give me comfort and peace, rather than a typical or dramatic romance that we usually read or see in movies.
Someone that fits well with my missing pieces, which will never be mine but rather will always be with me.
And finally, someone who will always choose me even if not seeing their ideals in me.
...so I wait.