Loneliness || X-Men Solo
Characters: Wesley Blake (Mentions of Jonathan Mourriland)
Time Frame: Shortly after the Bombing
Location: Cemetery
Words: 661
Wesley went to his parents’ graves for the first time in what felt like forever. In a sense, for him it had been a lifetime ago. He was a poor child trying to make sure he survived the next day back then. Now he was a strong and self assured mutant who could get anything he ever wanted. And yet, here he was, remembering the days when he had nothing to look forward to except the peace he could find underneath his bed.
Jonathan had told him that he wanted to leave and Wesley couldn’t refuse him. They had a scare, the two of them, with him almost dying in front of him. He could sense that Jonathan’s fragile heart couldn’t take what they did anymore and he didn’t blame him. As much as he wanted Jonathan there with him, he didn’t want to torment him the same way his parents had. The only person he never wanted to have to force them to do something was Jonathan and if he wanted to go, he let him.
It hurt though, knowing that the boy he had seen grow up wouldn’t be there with him every day. It was like losing a piece of you that you didn’t realize was there. Sometimes he would go into his room to ask him something without realizing that he wasn’t there—that a new mutant was now residing where he used to sleep. Other times he would find something that Jonathan might like and thought he should tell him, except he wasn’t there. Of course he could call him, but it was never the same as seeing the smile on his face. Jonathan was the son that he would probably never have, the friend that would always be there despite the cruelties that he wrecked on people. Because to Jonathan he was just a boy who saved him from the shack.
He stared at the graves of his parents, their faces, not as prominent in his brain as they used to be. He hated them more than he hated any other human out there. Sometimes he thought that was the reason behind his dislike of humans in the first place. They were soft and weak and they tried to cover that up by beating on the people who were stronger. He wondered if they always knew that Wesley would be better than they ever were, that he would be among the most feared mutants in the world. He was sure that they didn’t.
There were no flowers there and if there were he would have gotten rid of them. They didn’t deserve anyone’s love. In fact, they weren’t liked by anyone. He wondered how many days their bodies were rotting before someone figured out they were dead. Was it the smell or the fact that his mother did call her boyfriend after a while? It was probably the smell. Her boyfriend slept with a lot of women and he wouldn’t care that his mother didn’t respond to his booty call.
His entirely life he told himself that he would be better than them that he wouldn’t allow himself to be as evil or cruel as they are. But he knew he was just as bad, if not worse. At least they never killed people. Wesley was never faint of heart, given his past, but sometimes he got a little sad for the path that he went down. He could have been someone else if he didn’t have dicks for parents.
He was alone now, the same that he’s always been deep down. The loneliness that Jonathan easily helped console was now taking over and he was beginning to wonder what the point of it all was. He was alive and his parents were dead but what did that achieve? More violence that he created. He should have let his father kill him. At least in death, he would feel as lonely as he felt now.
