#fd1xfd3xfd4xfd5

[redlibra14]

Peter: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Carter: What if it bites me and it dies!? Erin: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Horton, learn to listen. Ian: What if it bites itself and I die? Olivia: That’s voodoo. Hunt: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Carter: That’s correlation, not causation. Ian: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Olivia: That’s kinky. Peter: Oh my God.

[redlibra14]

Peter: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something? 

Carter: Nope, absolutely not. 

Ashley: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through. 

Erin: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life. 

Hunt: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you. 

Ian: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

[redlibra14]

Ian: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Peter: This knife is actually a magic wand. Carter: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. Hunt: *cocks gun* Magic missile. Olivia: What the fuck is wrong with you people?

[redlibra14]

Peter: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. Ian: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. Carter: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Hunt: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

[redlibra14]

*Sam's helping Alex out after he get injured, while the others are watching* Wendy: How does Alex look? Nick: A little better than you, actually.

[redlibra14]

Carter: Dumbest scar stories, go! 

Peter: I burned my tongue once drinking coffee. 

Ashley: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. 

Erin: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. 

Hunt: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. 

Ian: I have emotional scars.

[redlibra14]

Peter: How did none of you hear what I just said? Carter: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Hunt: I got distracted about halfway through. Ian: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[redlibra14]

Ian: Our greatest threat right now is ourselves. 

Hunt: Naw, I think crocodiles are pretty scary, man. 

Carter: Snakes are pretty bad, too. 

Peter: *chuckling* I'm like a politician making a speech right now. *through a mic* "Our greatest threat right now is ourselves". 

Hunt: *from the back of the audience* Well, actually have you heard about crocodiles 'cause those are scary!