It’s weird to think about Fear. You look back and think about what you used to fear. As an infant you probably feared being without your parent. As a toddler you feared the monster under your bed, the boogie man, the dark. As a teenager you feared not having friends, being grounded, getting in trouble at school. As an adult you fear moving away from your parents, being alone, failing.
I know there is probably so much more to that but that just covers the basics. I fear failure. I also fear dying. My health isn’t the best. I am always in pain. I am always complaining that something hurts, something isn’t right, something is cramping, etc.
I hear stories, I know friends of friends, friends of family, that have passed away due to complications with their diabetes. That they didn’t manage it and it took their life. And it took their life young. I have been trying to get my glucose levels in check. But at no avail. They are always high and I just fear I will have a heart attack.
See when your blood sugar levels are too high, your blood gets thick. So it makes checking blood sugar freaking awesome. (Note sarcasm) And it also makes your organs work 2-4 times harder. I already have heart problems, and I have kidney and liver problems, so it’s just not good.
I worry about the damage that has already been done that might not be reversible. I worry if something happens to me, what I am leaving behind. Have I made an impact on the world? Will people remember me? I have no children so I won’t have any part of me left in this world. I fear that. I fear that if I can’t get the diabetes under control and lose some weight that I will never have kids.
We all have fears...every single last human being. From the time we are born until the day we die. But are we going to let them consume us? Let it dictate our daily lives? Let it control our emotions...we shouldn’t!
Every fear I have I can fix. I can do something about it. And I am! It’s just hard. I am taking baby steps in the right direction and I have the right idea. I know I can get there. If I just keep pushing!
