Right so I wrote this when I was down, went back, crossed out the negative shit and changed it...
I wish I was naturally beautiful, I wish I didn't have to wear makeup to look good. I know I look 'striking' when I'm all made up but I think that makes me look unapproachable, I'd rather be one of those girls who doesn't have to try. I have the pointy features like the cheekbones and that but they don't look good without the eye makeup to go with it. I will never look 'cute' or 'pretty'. Never been described as cute or pretty...just striking. I guess there'd no other word for my face. 'dominatrix', 'porn star'...ugh. I've been described as looking like both those things...
I am fucking striking...so what if I don't have plain features that always just look pretty...I have the feature of somebody who can carry of mental makeup when I want to, and sure I look a bit pointy but who doesn't want an interesting looking girl rather than an ordinary looking girl. I have awesome cheekbones too.
I wish my nose was smaller and my lips were bigger, then I might fit into what men are meant to find attractive, along with that I'd like my waist to hip ratio to be 0.70 instead of 0.76 (damn bone structure). I wish both my sides were my good sides so I didn't have to worry about which side I'm getting photographed from.
My hip to waist ratio is 0.76, my bone structure won't allow me to get to 0.70 as I've now lost so much fat that if I lose any more it is bordering on unhealthy. Fuck it, if I want a smaller nose or bigger lips I'll pay for those things, I paid for bigger lips in the past and I loved it, I'll pay again!!!
I wish I could be one of those girls who everybody wants to talk to as soon as they enter the room instead of being the aloof one that is yet again, unapproachable. I'm trying hard not to be that...I'm not really like that at all, I just get stuck inside myself sometimes.
Everybody does want to talk to me but they're plucking up the courage to. I've noticed that now...and I'll just sit playing on my phone waiting for you to, because I don't flirt...get used to it. You have to work for it.
I wish my ears didn't stick out so I could wear my hair tied back without looking like a mouse. I wish people would see what I see so they wouldn't disagree with what I think I look like...or maybe they do and they're just trying to make me feel good.
I just won't wear my hair tied back...and I need to realise that people compliment me because they mean it, not just for the lolz.
I think I need a guy with similar features...a pointy guy with cheekbones. I am generally happy with the way I look, but it would be nice to be different for a little while.
I need somebody nice who will look after me. I am me...