#feeling morose

[talkingismylifewrites]

just found out my best (only) friend won’t be in california for my birthday :((( first a second quarantine birthday and now this?? what’s next, my mom can’t find the recipe for her amazing cake?? california gets hit by an earthquake and falls into the pacific?? 

[stormstruck-angel]

I need a tumblr mutual to confess their ardent love for me i don't think I can bear the embarrassment of having to admit to a regular dating pool what is simply understood and enjoyed among the tumblr ecosystem 😭

[lepetitfruit]

I think I just need to participate in the divine act of creation

[cruntslayer]

What is even the point of hating everything. It's like, during your evil monologue, somewhere a bee will be pollinating. Or a rainbow spreads wonder and joy amongst the townspeople. I can only do so much, and it feels all my wickedness is just lost on these fools, like they will always believe in a happy ending even though there will be no such thing

[cuppatealove]

I'm sad because I only have room in my soul for one or two obsessions at a time, and despite my best efforts, writing is just not winning at the moment. Which would be fine, except that, unlike all my other little hobbies and obsessions, this one has an audience. And while I'm rational enough to realise that I'm not the Worst Person for having been stuck on my current WIP chapter for a disgraceful amount of time, I can't help but picture my readers as expectant little puppies with eager eyes and wagging tails, and that sucks, and I want to be better, and I fail, and that sucks.

[bluelamia]

I don’t have enough thoughts to fill in all the gaps.

[wise-brown-owl]

If only they knew.

[atolia]

I don’t want to say goodbye forever. If being home this weekend has done anything to me, it makes me realize that I don’t really want to move across the country for a job. Everyone that I care about from high school friends, to college friends to family, they’re all here. They all exist on the east coast. I know that some of you will say that if these people are important to me, then I’ll keep in touch with them no matter what. But people don’t work like that. Sometimes life just gets in the way. I’d take the job in California because I have no other options, and because it’s only temporary and I could come back to the East coast for graduate school, but I would be so lonely for that one year. And so out of the loop when I came back. I still really hope that I’ll hear back about it soon. I’d like to know what’s happening either way. But I’m going to focus on applying to places close by too.