#feeling stronger

[settle-down-frohike]

Mulder’s fingers digging into his son’s jacket as he held him for the first time since he was a baby reblog if you agree.

[sagecedarsrunning]

Nice fall morning run of 3 miles and 30 degrees. My heart rate is getting better. It used to be my high would be between 180 and 185, with a baseline of 165. This helps me recognize I am getting stronger again. My performance also hadn't been going below 0. This past week is the first time that's not happened on every run.

The breaks in pace is due to the little pooper.

[blueleslina-blog]

Good afternoon! I'm feeling more better and strong! #StillRise 😄😌💪

[thedreamer-and-therealist]

Day 17- Busy bee

Today has been a busy day! And I'm loving it! Didn't feel too down today...actually felt quite...strong? Of course, I still miss you. Of course, I still love you. But that's okay because today, I felt okay. I was too distracted to really think of you. I was too busy to feel empty. My friends have been amazing and have continued to check up on me. I feel very grateful to God for surrounding me with all this love. Hopefully, I continue on this path to recovery. Because as I've said, I don't intend on just getting over it. I intend to conquer. I intend to triumph.

[gottagolisten]

Muzzy - Feeling Stronger (ft. Charlotte Colley)(High Maintenance Remix)

[thesewallsarekillingme]

Cize It Up Day 4

Today was a long... long... longggggggggg day. 

I worked from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m., which is an extra two hours I needed to work because I was the only one in our front office today and I was run off of my feet all day. Then I decided I’d swing by and pick up those three things I needed that were on my grocery list. That quick shop turned into an hour march around the grocery store in my three and a half inch wedge heels. By the time I got home and got my (way more than) three things into the house, my legs and hips and feet were KILLING me. 

I flopped on the couch, kicked off my shoes, and decided I wasn’t going to Cize It Up today. I gave myself every excuse I could think of.

“You’re exhausted. You should just go straight to bed.” 

“Shopping in heels is always a work-out.” 

“You barely sat down today.”

“It’s 11 o’clock at night and you have to work at 8 a.m.”

“Your legs probably won’t hold you up for more than five minutes.”

Even the dreaded “you’ve been so good, you deserve a break.”

Since when does working out three days in a row mean that I’ve been soooooo good? Where on God’s green earth did I ever get that idea?! Three days isn’t going to get me where I want to be. It’s not going to get my body healthy or give me more energy or rid me of my migraines or keep me from becoming a diabetic like my mother. Three days isn’t ANYTHING to write home about.

So I told myself I would try. I got up, I got off of the couch and put my sneakers on. I didn’t even change into my workout clothes so that I would be comfortable. I didn’t even put socks on.

But I got up.

I told myself that five minutes would be better than nothing. Five turned into ten. Then at ten minutes I discovered that I was no longer unable to stay up on my left foot for “The Trip.” Then I started to get the wind in my sails and decided to keep pushing. 

My goal for today was to add five minutes to what I did yesterday (still trying to avoid the evil migraines) for a total of twenty minutes plus cool down and guess what?

I DID IT. It’s a small goal to reach, but I was exhilarated. I almost pushed harder because I DIDN’T WANT TO STOP. This is something completely foreign to me. Working out is something I enjoy? This is fun?! WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING HERE?!

I’ll tell you what’s happening...

In the week that I’ve been dancing daily (light XBox Zumba from the day I ordered Cize to when I started Cize) I can already FEEL the change in my muscles. My legs feel stronger. I feel steadier and more in control of my movements. Adding heels to my work wardrobe this week probably helped, but I know my characteristically weak ankles are getting stronger. This is evidenced by the fact that I can now stand on my left foot and swing my right leg back and forth for an entire eight-count without touching the floor, when I couldn’t balance on my left leg standing still for more than four seconds before I started. 

I can also feel my body learning the moves. I’m transitioning between steps more automatically now. I’m getting a lot more precise and l’m not as tired during the workout. And I’m nailing the dang four-count cha cha step at the beginning that I’ve been modifying into a slow two-count off and on since I started because I couldn't keep up at full tempo. As always, the human body’s ability to adapt and grow will never cease to amaze me. Mine couldn't keep up, so it’s evolving in order to do so.

Tomorrow should be more of a normal work day and I have an evening massage appointment (THANK GOD) so I’ll probably be a lot more willing to work out when I get home. I’m trying to save my rest day for Sunday because that’s when my school work is due and I’ve only got one week of classes left before the end of the semester. Lots to turn in this weekend.

But no summer classes means that I can concentrate on getting healthier. So I’m looking forward to a summer of pushing myself through Cize It Up and continuing my body’s transformation towards that goal.

Here’s to tomorrow! (I’m gonna go sleep now.)

[lucidite]

It's such a nice feeling to finally speak up and stop pretending that being treated with no respect is okay.