#feeling suck

[m1l0-l34f]

Ways I make myself feel happy:

Reading (domestic fluff [Malink])

Reading (aggressive fluff [HW Zelink])

More reading (/reader fluff [I wish there were more Malon/reader platonic fics, but there is non])

Cute puppies and kitties and and the animals

Talk with plushies while in a cuddle pile

[hel7l7]

[getting-my-heart-crushed]

I know I probably cooked up this idea of prom in my head, but I thought we were going together. We joked about it but I kinda thought you were serious, I was. But your going with some guy that I know you’ll never actually date. Sure he’s fun and older but I’ve heard you say so many times that it wasn’t going anywhere. I like to think we’re going somewhere sometimes it feels like we are but others days it feels like I’ve completely imagined it. I wish you would just tell me is this real or in my head?

[faeaesalon]

maybe if i blame myself enough, everyone else will understand that i am, in fact, accepting that it’s my fault

in other words, i’m terrified of accidentally doing smth shitty like shifting the blame or gaslighting or smth, so i compulsively acknowledge that even the smallest piece is or could be my fault and that i know & accept that

[faeaesalon]

i want to curl up in you, i want to be held, i want to feel warm and safe with you.

but that’s not your thing, is it?

and even if it were, i’m not the sort of person it would be for.

[faeaesalon]

god, my demisexuality has to have been my worst-timed self-discovery this decade.

can we get an oof from the crowd?

[faeaesalon]

i had a dream, a month or two ago, that i was helping you prepare for a date with someone else. i met her, she seemed nice.

i remembered that it will happen one day, and that i should prepare myself for the hurt when it does.

maybe i’ll have moved on. i don’t know.

[faeaesalon]

i think ‘god i love you so much’ very, very frequently.

i don’t say it as frequently as i think it. that would get weird pretty fast, i feel.

but that’s okay. there are a lot of other people telling you that you are loved, too. you don’t need to hear it from me.