#feelings....

[i-hate-block-men]

During the "skin history" animation and the prank skins section where Biffa was marching next to him, I--

and Biffa commented--

[dirbyjuliaducournau]

just thinking....

[annaofthenorthernlights]

It´s your life

Chapter 5

High and low

A short drop of a sweet Kristanna surprising trip (Modern AU)

Rating: G

Word counting: 2057

Previous chapters (on AO3)

Summary: That day had been great – no, it had been splendid! It had been a dream and she was wondering if she would even wake up again! But then, life can sometimes be cruel and switch within seconds... from high to low...

Anna plopped down onto the bed, sighing contentedly and simply happy.

That day had been great – no, it had been splendid! It had been a dream and she was wondering if she would even wake up again! Kristoff had laid down next to her. So, here they were again, like the evening before when they had arrived. Anna turned to face him, beaming with sparkling eyes, her hand on his chest. Kristoff reached out and covered her fingers with his own hand, glancing at her with a grin. He was exhausted, but her radiant smile sent a warm satisfaction through his mind and body.

“Okay, tonight is yours and you´ll set the program, or maybe NO program anymore for us?!” Anna giggled and rested her head on Kristoff shoulders. “You were amazing, and this day was just soooo… wonderful! I won´t ask anything from you on my behalf, believe me!”

“Hey feisty pants,” Kristoff stroked her hand and reassured her quietly, “honestly it was pretty fun for me, too. I swear – I must admit I got more intrigued than I had expected.” He mused over all the shows, exhibits, and the rides they had attended. Not to mention their participation in the parade. He would even think to feel sort of excited about another go the next day.

Anna chuckled next to him and fumbled for her mobile out of her jeans pocket. She pushed herself up on her elbow and started flipping through the taken pics of the day. She laughed and shook her head, when she´d just found the one she was looking for especially.

“I think we should enlarge this one and hang it framed in your kitchen.” She held it up for him to see. Kristoff grimaced and then brushed his hand over his face. “Yeah right, thanks – now I can´t get the picture out of my head anymore.”

He stood grinning broadly, standing enclosed by a oversized Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

All the while, Anna had pranced and laughed, taking that photo…

There were many more lovely pictures, mostly involving some gigantic plushie figures for which Anna couldn´t pass without hugging.

Now, she was tired – but happily tired.

*****

Hey Anna – hope you´re having a good time. Things are quiet here. Please let me know when you´re back home, okay? Enjoy!

Anna sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Kristoff to emerge from the bathroom, when Elsa´s message popped up on her screen. She wasn´t sure how to respond at all. Yes, she did enjoy herself immensely. But would Elsa understand? Should she inquire about “the quiet things”? She felt like in a dream and would love to last it at least to the moment when she had to face her grandfather…

Hi sis, thanks I´m overwhelmed with all. Will text you when I get home. Love x

She turned the mobile off and threw it on the bed, when just at that moment Kristoff´s phone started vibrating and buzzing on his nightstand. Startled for the moment, Anna leaned over to notice Sven´s contact shown on the screen. She reached for it before it hopped of the little table.

“Hey Sven!” Anna chirped into the phone. It was always good to have Kristoff´s best friend to talk to. For some reason he seemed to take Anna as his “best friend” along with Kristoff. He was so nice.

“Hey Anna! Sorry, to come at you guys on your romantic weekend. I wouldn´t intrude on you if there weren´t great news. I thought of leaving a note, but this is to amazing. Is Kris around?”

“Don´t apologise Sven! You know, you never disturb – at least not at this hour!” Anna laughed. “Hang on, Kristoff will be right there, just a second.” She held the mobile to her chest to turn, just when Kristoff came out, with his trousers on and shirt half buttoned up.

He sat down next to Anna and took the phone with one hand, trying to finish his buttoning with the other. Anna gave a hand to this task.

“Hey buddy, what´s up?”

“Hey Kris, sorry for the interruption – but I had to tell you personally. You would not believe what happened!”

Then Sven would tell his partner that they got the application confirmed to involve in a building complex construction of ten new family homes. That project announced, approx. 20 miles from their place. The builder of this developing family site project had been specific on choosing local companies to construct the houses. The competition should be a fair one with no oversized companies that dumped their prizes to get the most job calls.

“So, I´ve signed the pre-contract in the name of us both. We´re good in time if you can sign it yourself on Monday. So, enjoy the rest of your trip with the princess of the year, will ye?”

Silence.

“Kris, you´re still on?”

“He is!” Anna giggled into the phone. Kristoff had turned on the speakers and Anna had overheard it all. She was so excited about that news, that she had practically crawled onto Kristoff´s back, kneeling behind him and having laid her arms around his neck. She felt like steading him, as Kristoff sat in a stare, glaring down on the phone.

“I…. I…. I don´t believe it! We got ourselves in ´North-valley side´? That´s not some bad joke, is it?” By now, Kristoff had clasped a hand around Anna´s wrist, to make sure, he was not alone on this.

“No. Buddy. It´s true. Okay? We´ll be fine. And hey, I´m proud to be your partner! Now, please promise me, to take Anna to Dinner and treat yourselves with a good bottle of the best wine and lavish in your time that you have! Love you two!”

Kristoff swallowed hard. Sven was a true friend, had always been. He wondered if Sven knew that… but yes, that pal knew more than he sometimes showed…

“We will! Thank you, Sven. We love you, too!” Anna replied softly.

“Thanks buddy!” Kristoff whispered huskily.

Later at dinner, Honeymaren would take a picture with Anna´s mobile of them sitting together, close cheek to cheek, happily smiling with a good glass of red wine in their hands.

Anna enjoyed so much sending this pic to Sven! So much more, than the text message she had to send to her sister before…

*****

2 days later…

Anna sat on the couch, staring at what was left that would belong to her.

One box full of books and stationary for her studies. Two suitcases with her clothes. A travel bag with little this and that which she had bought from her own money. The little money that she had rightfully earned during her summer jobs at her family´s company.

There was no more left.

Elsa had just left, after she had helped Anna to sort out her few belongings.

“Call me, if you need anything”, she had said. But both knew, there was little range for Elsa to help. Their grandfather had been clear. Anna knew, Elsa wanted to help, to be there, to talk… But Anna had catapulted herself out of that realm. And she had signed that dreadful document.

Reflecting on those last few hours, she wondered if she had the courage and the wits to stick to her decision she had made.

She had faced her grandfather, while Elsa had to attend as witness in the room. He had sharply reminded her of their family tradition, of the many hard worked years of several generations to get their name where they were today. He had asked her if she were aware of how lucky Anna could call herself being born into such a secure nest. And if she truly decided to step out into “her life”, if she had a sense of what would await her?

Anna hadn´t denied this all. She had been privileged. Yes, all good work deserved respect and to be honoured. All good work, especially those who started from zero. By this she thought so much of Kristoff and Sven and their less fortunate backgrounds.

Runeard Rendelle then got at her with his deal. It had all been arranged by the solicitor that took care of the Rendelle´s private affairs. Anna could choose, either to stay with them and go along with their business, or she could leave on her wish. If the latter were the case, she would be denied her monthly support nor any dowry. Of course, Runeard would not be the monster that he seemed and the college fees that had been paid already, he would not withdraw. Not that he would be told to be ungratifying to his own offspring. He wished Anna to complete her final term and go through her exams with merit or not. But at least she would have the title that was worth her name. After that, it was up to her what to do.

Before she would say anything, he was giving her a last speech. Anna should consider the fact that in this world she would land nowhere without money. Her so called friends would soon get rid of her if she couldn´t show off her financial safety. He had sat across the mahogany desk, with a blank face and stated, “of course, it´s up to you, since it´s your life!”. He had emphasised on the last phrase and raised an eyebrow.

Elsa had sat all quiet, but the agony raging within her could be sensed through the room. She was so loyal and dutiful. Anna knew that and she would not blame her sister. But it would not work for her. She thought for an instant, but her mind went numb, her abdomen crinched and all she could think of was to make a fast exit out of this room.

“Thank you, Sir, for letting me finish my finals. I´ll do best I can, I promise. About my decision to follow your advice and this business… I can´t. You might not like my friends, especially Kristoff. But this doesn´t matter to me anymore, your world is not my world.”

After that, she signed the prepared document.

Therefore, Anna Rendelle denied all rights of heritage and support from her family side.

Should she decide to return into the Rendelle business, that´s when she was to withdraw from her former contacts that had been of bad influence upon her person. Then, she would be welcomed back into contract.

It had been disgusting…

She had underestimated the impact this disconnecting step would bestow upon her. Not that she wanted to go back. But then, where would she belong to from now on. Kristoff was on his way to pick her up, to take her home with him. To his home. There was no other place she could rather think of to feel mor home that with him. But she didn´t want to burden him with her scattered self. She had nothing to bring, nothing to offer him for support on rent or making for living for the moment. It would still be a few weeks till her finals and up then…

She felt sort of lost in space, dangling between two worlds. One, she didn´t want to return to and the other, that she didn´t mean to intrude…

Anna had not heard the knock on the front door and looked up weary when Kristoff stood in front of her, his head tilted, concern in his eyes. She would stand up slowly and gesture to her packed stuff.

“This is all. There´s not much left… I´ve nothing to bring, Kristoff… Nothing to offer you that makes me great catch to be taken home with. Will you still have me?” She had clenched her hands in front of her belly, pressing them to her middle, unsure of how to move on from this point. What if her grandfather might had been right and she would lose her friends – and most of all, her boyfriend – because she was stripped of all that wealth and financial backup?

Kristoff had barely noticeable shook his head, replying with a silent crooked smile and opening his arms for her to step closer, directly into his hold. He whispered some loving words into her hair, soothing words. Of course, he would take her home!

So Runeard Rendelle was wrong after all…

[yellowhearther0]

I am feeling feelimgs tonight :/

[resonatingfern]

Me: alright! This is definitely going to be Smut. I’ve already got a part written that is suited for it. Just go from there!

5 minutes of writing later: Sorry this is now complete fluff and there’s nothing you can do about it.

[altarfates]

it's kaveh, or... rather the shape of what looks like kaveh... sitting at the top floor of the tavern. naturally, there is a half-empty bottle in his hand, but that's not what catches your attention. instead, it's the various empty ones he's gathered in a small pile beside him. it's been a while, hasn't it? years since you last saw him... years since your last fight. but that's not the first thing you think about, is it? instead, you think about how tired he looks... but it's not the kind of tired you'd expect from someone who doesn't get enough sleep. instead, it's the kind of tired someone holds in their bones when they're on the brink of falling apart, the kind of tired that makes it hard to imagine that this person sitting at that table, drinking themselves into melancholy, or maybe drinking themselves into death... is the sun you once knew.

There were many reasons someone might vindicate immoderate drinking, inebriation softened the ache so often associated with sorrow, sometimes, a glass of heady wine felt like a reprieve, or solace. There was no true benefit to drowning one’s woes, for there was always the plausibility that they could become buoyant, resistant. The sort of adversity that infiltrated every aspect of a person’s life, an inexorable decline into the darkest depths of despair. Alhaitham needs but a cursory glance, witnessing that familiar visage bereft of its usual effervescence, to discern just how dismal his days and subsequent nights had transformed into. As an architect of such grandiose designs one could be misled to believe his life also was bolstered with such meticulous care. Even in their days as students he had this inexplicable ability to deduce the nuance between Kaveh’s sincere cheerfulness and the monochromatic gray that sometimes seeped into the apertures left behind by sleepless nights or the exigent demand for more. He was always altruistic, relinquishing more and more until his hands were inevitably left empty. Alhaitham had offered him sound advice, steering him away from the precipice his inordinate sacrificing lead him to but it had ended in a diatribe about how he didn’t understand Kaveh’s feelings, he had never understood them to begin with. He wondered, in the solitude and silence of his own heart, if he had ever known them at all. Alhaitham doesn’t permit such thoughts to impede him, his gait is measured and deliberate as he navigates the throng of patrons, their jovial conversations antithetical to the somber cloud that seemed to hang precariously over Kaveh’s slouched shoulders. Without ceremony he sat beside him, it was so profoundly normal that the slantwise angle his world had sat on in his absence corrected itself immediately. A not so discreet glance is cast to the myriad of bottles lining up alongside Kaveh’s bowed elbows, there was something elegantly mournful about him, even his slightly disheveled blonde hair looked a shade duller.

❝ It’s early. ❞ the insinuated “too” is held prudently behind his lips, a hint of disdain he thought might drive that intangible wedge further between them. The distance between them is the foundation for conflict within him, vividly he recalls the image of Kaveh’s hand resting on his shoulder, or brushing against the prominent ridges of his knuckles, a comfort he inadvertently sought when his mind was rife with stress or frustration. In Alhaitham these were quiet, inconspicuous feelings but Kaveh had always detected them all the same, whilst in Kaveh they were all but tangible. An unbidden guest, he sits his glass, full with amber liquor, the clink of ice as it rises to the surface unbearably loud, next to Kaveh. ❝ What happened ? ❞ he prompts, a softer, consoling tone, against the harsh dissonance of the unintelligible background noise it was unbearably smooth. ❝ Kaveh. ❞ intrepid fingers brush against the dainty contour of his wrist, coaxing him back from the inebriated tide he floated upon. ❝ What happened. ❞ firmer this time, affording him less ground for repudiating that anything was actually miss. In that soft, ambient light that hung over head there was something painfully tender about his expression, before then his concern had been a carefully guarded secret, now it was so apparent that it felt painful. 

[death-rebirth-senshi]

"Let's reintroduce ourselves. We're Retsuko's closest friends."