Nick: Well a bunch of women on Twitter have skirtathon where you wear a skirt every day in April? So these guys I follow started tieathon where you wear a tie every day.
Me: Because god forbid women have something to themselves
i'm playing kraven manor rn but what i'm realizing, and what i realize i do with everything, is that whenever a "dismembered/bruised/burnt/beaten female body" is mentioned, the only possible conclusion for me is to believe it's a mans fault and that it is a sex crime or a crime against her ability to say "no", but i don't think about that when it says "dismembered/bruised/burnt/beaten male body"
rather i think another man did it to him
so it sucks that i have grown up in this world being more scared for women than men, and i should be equally looking out for both of these groups but society has taught me that men always inflict damage and that women are always the victim of a sex/relationship issue crime, and males only inflict it on males
male vs female = MUST BE A RESULT OF SEX OR RELATIONSHIP ANGUISH
male vs male = fighting for opposing opinions
but it shouldn't always be like that, females shouldn't be getting killed by men, it is what makes their story, you remember that character as being affected by the male instead of an individual person with thoughts and feelings and emotions as soon as you slap on the label sex crime it erases her identity and almost slutshames her because it is degrading to see a female body killed because of a sex crime, it is probably in a compromising position
but a dead man is honorable and courageous and he must have shown bravery, he wasn't killed for a sex crime, he was most likely killed fighting for what he believed in instead of something that shouldn't happen to anyone ever.
I decided to write 7 posts that are personal that I normally would not write or post because "NO ONE CARES, GILLIAN, SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE AND REBLOG MORE DOG PICS AND TAKE SELFIES IF YOU WANT VALIDATION." Here is the fifth one. It is about cooking & gender roles.
When I was growing up, mine was not a house of cooking. Right now I'm reading Sugar, Salt, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us and I see so much of my family in the typical, processed food loving, convenience demanding, nutritionally ignorant consumers that have kept these "food giants" afloat for so long. My parents didn't really cook. Whether or not they "had time" I wonder because now that I do cook, I realize that it really doesn't take much more time to cook a nutritious meal than it does to order a pizza, but I don't know. Judging my parents is not at all what this is about, nor is it a good path to happiness (talk about them in therapy but not on your blog).
But I like cooking. I realize now that I always did like cooking, it just wasn't something that was really nurtured. Everyone was so busy not imposing gender roles that it wasn't really an option, to like cooking. But I do remember flipping through recipe books and trying to make things with whatever we had in the house (usually not an easy feat and it's difficult to be a 10 year old and ask for a ride to the store to get the ingredients for a creme brulee or something). It wasn't until the last few years that I've really started to cook on a regular basis and make a very concerted effort to eat at home, to eat more healthfully, to eat more vegetables.
So there is nothing inherently wrong or wrong at all with the fact I like to cook, to put together meals and to feel pride in the fruits of my labor. But I have to confess, I really like cooking for my boyfriend. I find a great deal of pleasure in having a meal already started when he gets home from work and being able to let him relax and having him like what I make for him. And like, I'm kind of ashamed of it because it seems so antithetical to my unadulterated independence. I know that it is not anti-feminist to like cooking or even to like cooking for other people, but the whole production of "having dinner ready" when he gets home it just makes me feel good, but also feel weird about feeling good? Because I want to be independent self-motivated successful business lady and not apron-wearing housewife? (Although I do really really want to get a cute apron).
I should clarify that this has absolutely nothing to do with my boyfriend who has never demanded that "get back in the kitchen" (even as a joke) and doesn't even like to ask me to make dinner (not because I can't cook just because he feels bad!) I do it because I like it and it makes me feel good only. And that's okay.
In review, these posts are becoming a lot about me talking myself out of being ashamed of things that I am irrationally ashamed of. But that's okay because it's all prefaced by the fact that I know you don't care. Thanks for reading.
