#ferard mcr

[cisgerard]

[vivicas-dollhouse]

Death of a bachelor

Am i the best youve ever had?

Genre: smut

Pairing: Gerard Way x Frank Iero

Characters: frank iero, gerard way, ray toro, mikey way

Desc: Touring takes a tour on you no matter who you are. Its even harder when you have a massive, and i mean MASSIVE crush on your bands frontman. Frank cant believe that there is really only one bed, it wouldnt be that bad if he didnt want to fuck gerard so bad.

Cws: sloppy blowjob, bottom frank, drool, implied cheating (not that much), uhhhh porn with a lot of plot

4.3k words, enjoy!!

Touring is rough, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Frank was in and out of hotels, taking showers every other week, and god knows the last time he had a proper meal. He was exhausted, and they were only halfway done with the first leg. Gerard and mikey would call their mom every night and sit on the phone for hours, complaining and yearning for home until they were practically asleep, and ray wasnt taking the attention well either. Frank felt the same pressure, the righthand man got more attention than ray and mikey combined. All he wanted was a margarita and a restful night where he wasnt swamped with interviews. The fame was nice, but some sleep would be nicer.

Gerard definitely had it the worst. He had to be center stage at all times, frank was lucky to have a moment alone with him. It wasnt that frank was in love with him, they just kissed on stage and were generally gay. It was just an act, but it seemed idiotic for frank to deny the rush it gave him. The feeling of gerards lips on his, hot breaths captured on the microphone for hundreds of people to witness and scream for them to do it again… it was better than any drug hed had, and he had had quite a few. He loved the feeling of gerards hands knotted in his hair, making him forget they were on stage, forget the chords, forget he had a girlfriend who was not pleased by this in the slightest. Frank wanted to forget her like gerards stupid gay moans in his stupid gay songs that made him feel like he had witnessed god. He didnt want to be frank iero, he wanted to be Gerards, just for a night. Something to change the way gerard saw him. To make those heated moments something they could do forever.

The show had been messy. Spit flying, punches thrown in the crowd, all sorts of bullshit that the last band had insighted that carried over to their set. Tallahassee didnt seem to like mildly queer folks, so when my chemical romance, the queercoded band, came onto stage? They were pissed. It wasnt like they hung pride flags from the rafters, they had just seen gerard and franks antics and had decided they were going to let them know how they felt. It was typical for the shows down south, but it made their life so much harder. Security had to escort them to their van and as much as they had developed some thick skin, it still stung every time they were harassed all the way to the bus. But, they were headed to the hotel, covered in sweat and the scent of cigarette smoke.

The van was silent, mikey was just staring at the ceiling while gerard and ray were dozing off in their seats. Frank sat quietly, fidgeting with a bracelet one of the few fans had given him. It was pretty, red and black pony beads with the letters ‘xofrnk’ on them sitting neatly on an elastic string. It wasnt much, but something about it made him laugh. The money she mustve spent to get that close to the stage side was endearing, and how she had them all sign her revenge cd with a metallic sharpie was something he cherished despite the circumstances.

Frank looked out the window, the lights of the city rolling by in the dark van illuminating his reflection in the window. In a city this big, he didnt know it was possible to feel so lonely. He glanced over at gerard, head against the window as he lightly snored. He looked perfect, red eyeshadow rubbed over his eyesocket now streaking down his cheeks from the sweat, now out of costume in just a joy division tee and shorts. He was so beautiful, frank couldnt help but stare. His hair was longer now, he had wanted to grow it out for the im not ok music video. Frank didnt mind it until hairs got clogged in shower drains and he had to fish it out, or until it was in his food. Personally, frank thought it was nice, he had looked weird with short hair.

“Hotel,” mikey said, shaking gerards shoulder. Gerard stirred, his eyes fluttering open as he grumbled. Frank reached over and shook ray, startling him awake. Frank laughed, with ray blinking the sleep out of his eyes and punching frank in the arm.

“We are at the hotel i guess. Dark out here.” frank muttered, looking out the window as they pulled into a vacant motel 6 parking lot. The car slowed to a stop, the engine stuttering to a halt. Frank opened the door, hopping out onto the asphalt with a sigh. He slowly walked around the car, letting the others climb out sleepily. Gerard stretched with a sigh, his shirt lifting and exposing his hips and lower stomach.

Frank knew right then: he was fucked.

Had it really been that long since he jacked off? Was the sight of gerards hip bones really that attractive that it made his knees weak? He surely hadnt been this vulnerable before, but the way his toned stomach was still slightly glistening with sweat, the light trail of hair that ran up his gut, and his hips.. God his hips… he just wanted to bite onto them, grab them with enough force to leave marks as he–

“Frank, wanna cigarette while they check in?” gerard offered, holding out a pack of camels. Frank nodded, taking a cigarette from the box. Gerard pulled out a lighter, flicking the ignition a few times before a sharp flame burst out. Frank notched the cigarette between his lips as gerard lit his own cig, passing the light to frank after his own was smoldering. Frank nodded in thanks, holding the flame up and lighting his own. He took a sharp inhale, the smoke filling his body with ease as he exhaled slowly into the night. He looked over at gerard, who was silently smoking and staring at the highway.

“You think they liked us?” frank joked, earning a snort from gee.

“Yknow i think they mightve,” gerard smiled, looking over at frank. His smile was weak and tired, a longing for some sort of sympathy or relief behind it. “Im suprised you did so well despite the odds,”

Frank laughed, blowing smoke into the humid air. “Fucks that supposed to mean?”

Gerard shrugged, a playful smirk on his face. God, frank loved that face. “I dunno, you play weird when your angry,” he sighed, “You did good frankie,”

Frank choked on his cig smoke, coughing and dropping his cigarette onto the ground as gerard giggled. Frank doubled over, wretching as gerard laughed.

“That got you, huh?” gerard laughed, rubbing franks back. Frank gasped for air, his cheeks reddening at gerards gentle touch. He didnt really think he needed that, but now that it had happened, he knew it would replay in his mind for days. Gerard said he did good. Gerard called him frankie while doing so. Gerard was currently affectionately petting franks back while he coughed up a lung. Jesus christ, was he trying to kill him??

Ray ran towards the pair, shoes crunching on the gravel. “Ok so bad news,” he huffed, slowing to a halt. Frank stood up, gerards hand sliding down his back. Frank couldnt help but imagine gerard wrapping his hand around his waist, pulling him into his body like they were on stage, kissing him, softly this time, and just slowly, tenderly–

“Theres only two rooms booked for us with one bed each,” ray grimaced, with mikey slowly walking up behind them.

“This is some crazy fanfiction shit, what do you mean theres only one bed??” frank groaned, pushing all the giddy feelings he got about the prospects of possibly getting to share a bed with gee, something that he had only dreamed of while his fist guided his thoughts wild with fantasies. He had to act cool, play it cool enough to seem normal about this. He was exasperated, he didnt like this. This wasnt a wet dream come true.

“Im sorry but im not sharing a bed with gee, that motherfucker kicks,” mikey teased, punching gerard in the arm. Gerard laughed, elbowing mikey back and beginning to tussle with him, delirious and giggly. Ray and frank looked at each other, sharing a look that could only be interpreted as begging for a quiet moment. As the brothers fought, frank picked up the still smoldering cigarette from the pavement.

Ray recoiled in disgust. “Dude, just get a new one,” he said, face frozen in horror as frank took a puff.

“In this economy? I think the fuck not. Its flavor.” he mumbled, walking to the trunk of the van. “I call dibs on gerard,” he smiled, popping open the trunk. He reached into the dark cabin, rustling through equipment and random crap to pull out his duffle bag of personal belongings.

Ray cleared his throat, raising his eyebrow at the way brothers who were half on the ground, laughing their asses off. They quickly stood up, dusting the soot and gravel dust from their knees. They muttered a small apology, walking over to the trunk snickering.

“Gee, your with frank,” ray said, taking his bag from frank. Gerard hummed happily, setting franks brain into a state of hazy joy. He wasnt objecting! He had always wondered if they would ever end up like this, touring always led to some sexually charged situations no matter how many beds were there. It was as if god had seen the shitshow on their stage and had given frank a free happiness pass.

Well, except for the fact that there was zero proof anything would happen.

Frank handed gerard his bag, a red duffle bag with his name written on it in sharpie. It was old and beat up, but gerard was insistant it was fine despite the fraying straps and the broken zipper made functional again with a paper clip. Frank closed the trunk, locking the car with a click. He followed after the others, who were already headed to their respective rooms. He sighed, jogging to catch up with them. He eventually reached the doors, where gerard was saying his goodnights to ray and mikey. Frank did the same, muttering a small goodnight to them before following gerard into the room.

He stepped inside the cool room, locking the door behind him as he examined the room. It was shit, the paint chipped and yellowed with layers of cigarette smoke with a small tv across from the bed. The bed seemed fine enough, the sheets were seemingly clean and a shade of off white that frank prayed was intentional. Gerard was setting out his toiletries and clean clothes and discarding his stage makeup on the bedside table. Frank walked over to the opposite side of the bed, plopping the drawstring bag onto the pillows and stretching. Gerard yawned, tossing his hair back and putting it into a claw clip.

“What do you wanna eat?” he sighed, warmly smiling at frank. He looked good with his hair back, winding frank almost immediately. He didnt see this often, it felt like he was getting a backstage pass with a celebrity, even though he and the celebrity had been best friends– no, friends with stage benefits– for almost 4 years. He never got over the fact that he was living his dream with the man he idolized the most, and now he was sleeping in the same bed as him? Crazy shit, absolutely insane.

“Uhhhhh…. Chinese always is good. Or pizza,” he said quietly, taking his toiletries from his bag. “I really dont mind anything. Im gonna shower by the way, do you want to shower before or after?”

“After. And ill just order some pizza, go shower.” he smiled, grabbing the complimentary restaurant menu. Frank nodded, taking a clump of clothes randomly from his bag and picking out his soaps. He kicked off his shoes, walking over to the dingy bathroom door and stepping inside.

The bathroom looked worse than the actual room, still wet from its previous occupant and smelling of mildew. The counters were chipped and stained with what looked like to be cigarette burns. The cool light felt blinding, the shower reflecting the light straight into franks eyes. He sighed, turning the showers water to the hottest setting. He quickly stripped down to his boxers, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked rough, now that the stage makeup was rubbed off you could see how pale and his skin was in comparison to his dark eyebags. He had a slight tan line, if you could even call it that, across his arms, which were also coated with a fine layer of dirt and whatever the fuck else was on there. His hair was fucked, the black fringe tangled and the bleach blonde sides roots showing through. He ran his fingers through his greasy mop of hair, separating smaller tangles and picking out any particles he could find. He began to wash his face, using a small hotel rag to scrub the last bits of foundation, eyeshadow, and eyeliner from his pores. The room was beginning to steam, the mirror fogging over quickly. He threw the dirty rag into the sink, slipping off his boxers and hopping into the scalding shower.

===

Frank exhaled slowly, nesting into the mattresses pillow mountain with the thick comforter wrapped around his lower half. They didnt play with their air conditioning down south and neither him nor gerard could figure out how to make it less intense. He took another bite of the pepperoni pizza, choking down what had to be the 100th slice of pizza he had had on this tour. It was cheap, so they got it. They needed money for cigarettes and booze, not that there was much for it despite the faulty reasoning.

Frank stared at the tv, lying to himself that he was interested in the doctor who re run gerard had put on before getting in the shower. He could pretend to focus, but his mind was fixed on listening to gerards muffled singing from the bathroom. As much as he heard gerard sing the bands songs, it was rare that he ever heard gerard sing anything else. It was always give em hell kid, ghost of you, cemetery drive, im not ok, whatever was requested. But now, it was radiohead. Jigsaw falling into place. Frank had never cared for radiohead, it wasnt his thing. He didnt even think it was gerards thing either, they had just heard the song sung by radiohead themselves today. It was comforting in a way, and maybe frank was just exhausted, but he loved it. He could bury himself in gerards voice, he could live in his songs forever. He was just that effortlessly stunning.

The water flipped off, catching franks ire as the singing also died. He was just tired, he wasnt actually angry. He just wanted to sleep with gerards arms wrapped around him, holding him flush against his body and sharing heat in the frigid room, but the chances of that happening were slim to nothing. Gerard didnt like him like that.

The bathroom door opened, with gerard stepping out in skin tight boxers and a tight tank top that clung to his form so snugly that it was almost enough to send franks blood rushing downwards.

“Oh, you dont mind if i…. Right…?” gerard hesitated, heading back to the bathrooms open door.

“NO, uh, no,” frank stuttered, quickly realizing he had been staring at his boxers a bit too hard. It wasnt his fault, you couldnt ignore the fact that it was RIGHT THERE, packed right to the side of his inner left thigh. God, what he would do for that to be in–

“Your pitching a tent there dude,” gerard laughed, sending frank into a panicked frenzy to cover his crotch with a pillow.

“Oh my god, oh my god im so sorry, i–”

“Just admit it,” Gerard smirked, resting a hand on his hip. Frank froze, hands stuck holding a pillow mid air.

“Sorry, what?” frank choked out, clearing his throat. He slowly put the pillow over his dick, pressing it into himself with a small whine.

“Cmon man, it obvious you have the hots for me,” gerard pressed, “Ray knows it, mikey knows it, im willing to bet your girlfriend knows it,” he swooned, walking over to frank slowly.

“Im sorry, im s-sorry i didnt think it was that obvious, i-i can change rooms–”

Gerard shushed frank climbing into the bed with frank. “No, your staying here. Your not going anywhere.” he said, removing the pillow from over his dick slowly. Frank couldnt help but gasp, the small release of pressure felt intoxicating and gerard hadnt even laid a hand on him yet.

“Um…. what?” he whispered,watching as gerard slowly reached over, placing his hand on top of his clothed bulge. He made a small whimper, shivering as gerard rubbed his thumb over his shorts.

“You have the opportunity right now to have your way with me, what are you gonna do?” he spoke, voice laced with desire.

Frank was dumbstruck, staring blankly at gerard with his mouth slightly open with small whines escaping every time gerard stroked over the head of his length. He truthfully had no idea, so he just sat there. Gerard watched the wheels in his head turning, quickly realising what frank had known all along: frank had no idea how to be with a man.

“Frankie, get on top of me,” he said, with frank quickly obliging. He kicked off his shorts on the way, discarding them on the side of the bed. Gerard spread his legs as frank positioned between them, a vivid blush across his face as he stared blankly.

“What now?” frank whimpered, shuddering as gerard put his hands on franks hips. Gerard slid his hand up franks chest, before grabbing the collar of his tank top and pulling him down to his face.

“Now you kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it. Like im the prettiest girl in the world.” gerard blushed, and frank quickly went in. he smashed their lips together, messily panting into each others mouths as spit connected. Frank was in heaven, the rough clash of lips becoming a private thing tasted better than any kiss they had shared on stage. He slowly slipped his tongue into gerards mouth, a step further than ever before, and Gerard let him, moaning in response. They were one, gerards hands tangled and grabbing franks freshly washed hair tight enough for the possessive aspect to show through. He was gerards, gerards to claim. He nibbled at franks lip, deepening the kiss with a tilt of his head. The heat of the tension could boil them alive, spit running down their faces as frank reached to wrap a hand around gerards throat, but not to choke, just to hold. A sign that frank still had some desire to control, if he even could. They pulled apart, gasping for air as they smiled like idiots. They stayed there for a moment, panting in the dark room lit only by the tv.

“Shit, you are so much better at that off stage,” gerard huffed, face red and sweaty. Frank was too lovedrunk to think of anything to say, the feeling was akin only to the first time he had sex while high, and even then it was a stretch. He was gerards now, he would wear this moment cut into his skin if he could.

“Fuck me,” frank mouthed, still reeling over the fact that this was real, and that this memory was going to be the only way he got off anymore. Gerard giggled, tucking a hair behind franks ear.

“Mmm, beg for it,” gerard said, looking over frank with a smirk.

"Please," Frank gasped, his voice low and desperate, his body slowly slouching closer to Gerard. "Please, I need you. Let me feel you, let me fuck you, please," he begged, tracing over Gerard's clothed chest, his touch needy. "I'm yours, you know that. Only yours. You know id do anything for you gee." His hands slid down, coming to a rest on Gerard's waist, sliding his tank up and grabbing under the hem of the shirt. "I'll do anything if you just give me this."

Gerard smiled sweetly, placing his hands on franks. “Jesus frankie, you are pretty desperate, huh?” He teased, laughing softly as frank quickly nodded. “Ok, switch with me. You win. Let me take care of you baby,”

Frank flopped over onto the other side of the bed, anxiously watching gerard adjust to slot himself between franks spread legs. He couldnt help but praise their manager for the room fuck up, this was the best night of his life. Gerard was between his legs, dangerously close to giving him head. It was the most amazing screw up of all time, and frank couldnt help but pray that this wasnt the last time he would see gerard like this, looking up at frank through his eyelashes, pink cheeks and wet hair.

He watched as gerard slowly planted kisses over his boxers, the twitches from his cock encouraging his kisses to become wetter and wetter. Frank tried desperately to muffle the pathetic whimpers leaving his mouth, pressing his fist to his lips as he rolled his head back. The heat of gerards mouth let up, pulling franks attention back to gerards face.

“I wanna hear you. Uncover your mouth,” gerard said, pushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear. Frank grumbled, but obliged as gerard hummed happily. “Good boy,”

Frank practically melted at the praise, he didnt even know he liked praise. He certainly knew now, and he needed to hear that simple endearment over and over on loop for the rest of his life. He could get used to being gerards good boy, that was the best damn feeling in the world– maybe the universe. He was a good boy, he was a loyal dog.

Gerard began to slobber on franks clothed dick, wrapping his mouth around the length through the musky cloth. He continued to stare up at frank with half lidded eyes, drinking in the pathetic whines frank was letting slip out. Frank couldnt help it, he was practically whored out for gerards use, whatever gerard wanted to do with him he would do. Gerard slowly rolled his tongue over franks bulge, and frank gasped loudly. Frank didnt even care if the other two heard, it was a tomorrow problem. He wouldnt disobey gerards only rule. Gerard made a muffled moan with his mouth full of frank and his boxers, sending vibrations through his cock, and it practically felt like heaven. Frank gasped as he gripped the bed sheets, trembling as gerard removed his mouth from franks dick. Frank whimpered, watching as gerard sat up and wiped his chin.

“Dont force my head down, thats all i ask. Sensitive gag reflex.” he mumbled, readjusting his hair behind his ears as he pulled franks boxers down his hips. Frank shimmied his hips to assist, nodding at gerards request.

“No wor– ah–” he moaned as his cock sprang free and slapped his stomach. He kicked off his boxers completely, letting gerard reposition between his legs. He had no issue with the request, there was no doubt in his mind that gerard wouldnt need that added assistance. He knew gerard would give head in his dressing room to get things, and there was no shortage of moans bleeding through the walls. Frank fixated on gerard as he took his cock in his hand and let spit fall from his tounge onto franks leaking head. The rush frank got was insane, it was something he had only read in the fanfiction he had perused while drunk.

He watched as gerard looked up at him, a quiet giggle leaving frank starstruck before he licked up the underside of franks cock, taking the tip into his mouth. Frank swore gently, the ecstasy of gerards mouth on him was blinding. Gerards eyes fluttered as he slowly took more and more of his length into his mouth, the slurping sound almost drowned out by the commercials on tv, but not quite.

“Shit– god, yes,” frank moaned, clinging to the sheets for dear life. He felt as gerard moaned on him, watched as his dick slid in and out of his mouth, and moaned as gerard dug his nails into franks thighs. The nails didnt even bother frank, the pain was almost welcome in the sweetness of this moment. The gentle gasping around franks cock was driving him crazy, he was so damn braindead he couldnt do anything but moan and twitch. Gerards hand slowly slid down to franks inner thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb as frank babbled a slurred mix of expletives and ‘yes’ over and over. If he was loud, he didnt care. He was in heaven, and the angels were screaming hymns.

“Shi– shit gee im s-so fu-fucking close, lemme cum do-down your throat, p-please,” he slurred, pushing his hips up into gerards mouth. Gerard made a thumbs up, quickly bobbing his mouth around franks dick as frank practically screamed, cumming deep in gerards throat. He shook as gerard swallowed, taking his mouth off of frank with a cough.

“You.. you definitely woke them up.” gerard laughed, tossing frank his ringing phone. “We’ll have to be quieter next time. Ill go talk to them, can you keep the bed warm for me?”

Frank sat stone faced, mortified but nodding as gerard sprung up. He sat staring at the phone buzzing next to him, processing the statements as gerard left. It wasnt every day that your bands frontman and your long time crush said ‘next time’ to a blowjob, but..

Frank knew he had to break up with his girlfriend. And quick.

[oh--vivica]

Drops this

[cisgerard]

GERARD ． iwecparablrboyblog. DANIEL .

⠀⸝⸝⠀ a mentally25 18yo t4t + taken

nullhuman + visualnovelenjoyer

gerard / daniel

᭢᭡

꒰　 love me up and down 　꒱

npd . aspd . bpd .

onlinestalker. ⠀

[vivicas-dollhouse]

Vow

I cant use what i cant abuse, and i cant stop when it comes to you

Genre: dd-dne, smut, oneshot

Characters: transmasc!frank iero, gerard way

Desc: Frank has the worst luck. First he breaks his arm trying to impress a girl in his new city, and now his nurse is coming onto him??

CWs: rape, medical malpractice, mild transphobia, medical inaccuracy, talk of hospitals, drugging, fingering, transmasc dick, gerard rapes frank, strangling, victim blaming, no penis insertion so dont worry ab that, uhhh dont read it if you dont like it basically bc i don't care

3k words, dont come into my inbox bitching, ENJOY!!

Frank had finally been admitted, it only took them 5 hours.

The break in his arm hurt like a bitch, you'd think they'd pay more attention to the patient writhing in the waiting room. Maybe it was some sort of transphobia, the front desk worker had given him quite a look. Frank hadn't gotten his stupid name change done yet, so it was flora this, flora that, and ‘flora’ looked nothing like frank. There was a whole ordeal, calling from place to place just to get him placed in a waiting room. Meanwhile, he had been holding back tears, calling anyone he knew asking for some sort of advice on how to get through the medical system so far from home in New Jersey.

The lines and lines of people coughing, wretching into bags, moaning and groaning was grating, the whole room was frigid, and Frank couldn't even get some advil. Not that it would help, he had tried it. It did nothing to stop the shooting pain in his arm, like god himself was driving a needle through the bone. Just a small break, they said, as if that made it hurt any less. But, frank laid on the cot he had finally been assigned to regardless, staring at the ceiling.

He couldn't thrash in agony like he had been, he was confined to one position to keep the break stable. He was still in pain, and no one had given him any food like he had requested. He just had to lay still and suffer like he wasn't completely overwhelmed by everything going on around him. The beeping of the monitors and the feeling of icy water going into his good arm were making him even more tired than he had been.

The curtain swished open, startling frank. “flora?”

Frank looked up, looking at the nurse in front of him. She… he? Frank genuinely couldn't tell. His voice was deeper like a male's, but maybe it was the pain making him woozy. The nurse was dressed in a stereotypical nurses dress, stupid hat and all. He had long hair pulled behind his ears, a face mask pulled down to his chin.

“I go by Frank,” Frank muttered, looking to the side. He knew the look he was getting. It was judgmental, and then he would get misgendered anyways. That's how it was in–

“Oh, sorry. I'll put the name change in your chart. I'm nurse way, I'm gonna take care of you tonight. Can i get you anything?” he smiled, stepping to the side of Frank's cot and placing his hand on his leg, rubbing circles with his thumb.

“Um… some food and a pain killer would be nice.." Frank mumbled, a small relief washing over him. Maybe someone was finally listening. Nurse way nodded, giving a small thumbs up as he stepped through the curtains. Frank sighed, letting his head fall back to the cot. He would kill for a blanket, but that seemed like too much to ask for. The nurse was already swamped, he probably had a million things he needed to do.

Frank couldn't help but feel swamped himself, he had to call his work and tell them he broke his arm trying to prove he could tuck and roll after jumping off a staircase. Maybe he could lie and say he slipped. Anything but falling on his arm trying to impress a girl who had no real interest in him. The embarrassment still made him cringe 6 hours out from when it happened, how the fuck was he going to tell his boss at the tattoo shop that his drawing arm was completely useless for god knows how long. Frank slid his teeth over his lip ring, taking a deep breath as he once again twitched and set another sharp blast of pain up to his shoulder through all the muscles he could feel pain in. He hissed in agony, clenching his teeth as he squeezed his eyes shut, tears creeping to the edges.

“Frank?”

Frank managed to open one eye, the nurse having returned with graham crackers and apple sauce in their hands. Frank managed to force a smile, choking out a ‘thank you’ before letting himself exhale shakily. He was making a damn fool of himself in front of the nurse, and although logically he knew they had seen worse all day, it was mortifying when she was sitting on the edge of his cot, gently petting his leg and frowning with a sympathetic tone.

“Oh dear, we have got to get you to a private room, you look pale. Here, if you feel up to it, I'll leave the crackers here for you to eat, and I'll even open them for you love. I'll talk to the doctor about getting you a morphine hookup in your own room. Do you have anyone able to visit you?” he said, an almost pleased smile flashing up as Frank shook his head no before the nurse hid it.

“No, I just moved here. I'm from New Jersey. Other side of the damn country.” Frank groaned, the reminder that he was completely alone somehow hurting as bad as the break. He'd have to figure this shit out by himself.

“Oh, so am I! I moved to cali about 5 years ago, we should have something to talk about then! I'll be back love, give me about 10 minutes,” nurse way smiled gently, pulling open the cracker sleeve and placing it on franks chest, and maybe it was a mistake, but their hand grazed over Frank's chest and down his stomach for a moment, the touch soft enough to seem… intentional.

Frank couldn't even imagine it was anything like that, he was in a reputable place, and although he would normally be iffy with doctors being touchy, nurse way seemed so nice.. There was always the idea that he would be taken advantage of, but surely not by a crossdressing nurse. He was safe, just delirious with pain. He cringed as the patient on the other side of the curtain coughed to the point of vomiting. Maybe he didn't have it that bad… but really, he'd rather be vomiting for a few days then be out of work for months while just having moved in a few weeks ago. Frank tried to breathe, the panic beginning to set in. How was he going to pay rent? How was he going to pay for groceries?? He was going to go hungry. Hungry. Man was he hungry..

Frank used his good arm to pull out one of the graham crackers, taking a giant bite and barely chewing before swallowing, doing the same rushed eating pattern until the last of the crackers were gone, leaving his chest coated in crumbs and an empty wrapper. He sighed, wincing as he began to attempt to brush the crumbs off with his broken arm out of instinct. He fought back a yelp, tears once again springing to his eyes as he prayed nurse way would come back quickly. He needed some relief quick, the pain was blinding.

It felt like years before nurse way came back, years spent with squinted eyes and checking his phone to make sure no one had called and feeling like shit that no one had, despite the fact that it was 2 am in cali. Frank was exhausted, the only thing keeping him awake was the fact that his neighbor one curtain over would not stop throwing up as loud as humanly possible. But, eventually nurse way walked in.

“Alright dear, let's get you to a private room. Doctor ordered some morphine for you since we won't be able to stabilize that arm until tomorrow morning at earliest. It'll make you a bit loopy,” he said, undoing the beds breaks, “but thats part of the fun,”

Frank laughed weakly, letting himself relax as the nurse rolled his bed down the corridors. “You think I'll be able to get some sleep?”

“Thats the hope, how long have you been up?” he asked, pushing Frank down the long hallway.

“Long enough that this hallway looks miles long,” Frank joked, earning a small chuckle from the nurse.

“To be fair it's pretty long, but we are turning into the elevators in a second. What did you do to cause the break?” he said, turning into a small inlet where some massive elevator doors were.

Frank grumbled a bit, face turning red with the reminder of the situation. “Jumped off of something to impress a girl,” he mumbled, jumping when he felt the nurse's hand rubbing his shoulder.

“A ladies man huh?” nurse way teased, pausing for a moment as the elevator dinged. “I love having trans patients, they are so.. Fun.” he smiled, pushing franks bed into the lift, spinning it so frank was properly adjusted. Frank had no idea why, but the statement seemed offputting. The ladies man bit was nice, but the fun of having trans patients was lost on him.

“Yeah? You see a ton of 'em round here?” he asked, looking around the cabin of the dimly lit elevator, the wood paneling of the box seemed warped and almost like vinyl you'd find at the hardware store on discount and the floor matched.

“Not really, but I always get assigned them if we do since I'm not exactly cisgender myself, y'know?" he chirped, letting the elevator doors open into the small ward on the 6th floor. Frank nodded, making a small noise of interest.

“I figured, kinda rural out here. Do you have a different birth name too?” Frank smiled, glancing into the windows of the rooms as they passed. The lights were off in most of them, seemingly empty. The whole ward felt scary, the lights were dim and there was almost no one around. Frank tried to shake off the feeling plaguing him as he was slowly driven down the winding halls.

“No, just Gerard. I've always liked it, and it's too late to change it now,” he chuckled, slowing down and unlocking a small door at the end of the hall. “Im going to be one 1 on 1 with you all night, i hope you dont mind.”

“No, not at all! Just don't keep me awake,” Frank laughed, taking a shaky breath as the lights clicked on to reveal a windowless room with little more than a tv and a chair. Gerard must've noticed, because he pet Frank's head as he locked the bed's brakes into place. Frank didn't react, the touch setting off all the alarms in his brain as he was handed the morphine button.

He hesitated, thinking over the situation. The touch on the chest earlier, the hand on his leg, calling him love, the petting… but the pain. The pain was agonizing. One press of the button and it would go away, but did he really want to be alone with Gerard? Surely it would be fine..

The feeling of painlessness was so instant that Frank gasped. It was almost like he had never been in pain at all. He let his limbs go slack as he quickly relaxed. Gerard giggled, placing the blood pressure cuff around his good arm.

“Theeere we go, that's good,” he drawled, rubbing Frank's thigh. “Thats what I want,”

Frank couldn't care less about if that was a weird thing to say, he finally felt some relief from the icepick pain in his arm and that was all he needed. That sweet, sleepy feeling that rolled over him was all he had dreamed of.

“Just press that whenever you feel something you don't like, ok? I'm here if you need something.” Gerard whispered, letting Frank slowly drift off as he shuffled around the room.

“Yeah… thanks Gerard…” Frank smiled, letting sleep take hold as something wrapped around his neck.

Fuck, his neck. Neck. He couldn't breathe.

“Wh–”

“Shhhh… get some rest..” Gerard soothed, the cloth winding against Frank's neck tightening as Gerard climbed onto the cot. Frank tried to fight back, but Gerard simply pressed the morphine button again.

“No– im gonna die–” Frank croaked, the second wave of sedation hitting his body and weakening his resolve as Gerard straddled his hips.

“No, im a doctor, im gonna take care of you frankie,” he cooed, using both hands to wring the cloth tighter. “Doctors help,”

“Im gonna– help im gonna die–” Frank cried out, unable to fight as the corners of his vision began to dim. Gerard simply shushed him, loosening the cloth a bit as Frank gasped. Frank felt his shirt being lifted, and Gerard planting kisses all over his face. His body smelled like cherry chapstick, and before Frank could protest he tasted the chapstick on his lips. He lay there quietly as Gerard kissed him, softly at first with gasps between their lips until the kisses became rougher, more desperate, needy.

Frank slowly began to kiss back, but it wasn't really his choice. Every roll of Gerard's hips into his made his body betray him even more, his hands roaming Frank's body getting him hopelessly hooked on the morphine that was poured into him with every attempt to struggle. It was terrifying how numb everything was except his core, which ached with a violent and wet need, terrifying how detached the little moans leaving his mouth were as the cloth around his neck went slack. He could breathe, but it wasn't like he could do anything but reciprocate when every protest was met with more of that horrible morphine. So frank just let himself lay still, moaning and kissing back into Gerard's soft lips.

“That's it Frankie, don't fight it,” Gerard whispered, letting Frank breathe for a moment with Frank's spit rolling down his chin. He wiped the saliva on his sleeve as he panted, making sure Frank was properly subdued before scooting down Frank's legs to pin him by his calves.

“N… nurse…?” he whimpered, his eyes practically in the back of his skull as Gerard shushed him again.

“It's ok, it'll be over soon, love,” he soothed, unzipping Frank's pants. Frank shot up the best he could, but his body was too heavy to make any real protest. The morphine button was pushed again, numbing Frank again and sending chills down his spine.

He was getting raped. His pants were being pulled down and he was completely unable to stop it.

“Nurse… please no…” he babbled, drool snaking down his face as his thighs became cooled by the hospital air. He groaned at the gentle touch on the crotch of his panties, listening to Gerard clucking his tongue.

“You should get some boxers, Frankie, real men usually wear boxers. And look at how eager you are, I can see your hard little dick poking through the fabric.. You want this bad huh?” he smiled sadistically, rubbing over the small bulge poking through the tight blue fabric with an unfiltered moan escaping Frank, the electric touch numbing his brain even further.

“No…. no….” frank cried, his brain slowly going blank. It was getting harder and harder to form a coherent thought, and the fact of it was that he was insanely touch starved so of course he was giving into gerard, when he rubbed over the little head of his clit so softly, teasingly, pulling out every moan he could from Frank's throat.

“Shh, im gonna make you feel better dear, just let it happen. You'll thank me tomorrow.” Gerard swooned, pulling apart the folds of Frank's chubby pussy lips through the fabric, letting the length of his clit free. It wasn't a good pleasure when Gerard began to pull the fabric to the side, nor was it one when he slowly ran his fingers through the build up of slick pooling on him, but the loud groan Frank made when Gerard slowly inserted his two fingers into Frank said otherwise.

Gerard giggled as he slowly curled his fingers in frank, sliding them in and out slowly as Frank began to whimper. He didn't really want this, Frank knew he didn't want this, but goddamn Gerard knew how to hit his sweet spot quickly. The stupid cries leaving his throat was mortifying, the fact that he was so helpless was the only thing keeping this from being the best fingerfuck of his life.

“That's it, such a good boy frankie,” Gerard whispered, adding his other hand to stroke on Frank's clit, moving his fingers grasp up and down the shaft with a soft pressure. Frank didn't know how to keep himself from moaning, he couldn't even muffle it if he tried. He was in heaven and hell, this was all he could've asked for and the worst thing that had ever happened to him. He kept making high pitched girlish moans with every downstroke on his cock, and paired with the quickening of Gerard's fingers inside of him, he knew that he wasn't shaking from fear.

“N-no… no.. Gerard.. No.. p-plea.. Please..” he cried, his breathing growing shaky as he fought to hold back his orgasm. Gerard simply incresed the preasure on his little dick, speeding up his pumping as he quickly and methodically fucked franks pussy.

“Cmon sweet boy, cum for me,” he coaxed, and he quickly felt exactly what he knew was inevitable. Frank came all over Gerard's fingers with a loud gasp, a moan trailing out after and quietly extinguishing itself. Frank sobbed loudly as Gerard let his panties cover himself up again and got off his legs. Frank sat there limp and sniffling as Gerard pulled his jeans back up, with his shirt getting pulled down over his stomach as Gerard wiped his hands on his dress. He walked over to Frank and planted a kiss on his forehead. Frank sobbed with disgust, pulling away from Gerard the best he could.

“I hate you… i fucking hate you…” he slurred, letting gerard press the morphine button one last time.

“I'm sorry Frank, but victims don't cum. Why don't you get some rest? You've got all your energy out now, let this become just a bad dream, yeah?”

[vivicas-dollhouse]

Aglow; chapter one

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Frank iero wanted to kill himself.

There surely had to be more than working a shit job for 9 an hour, it wasnt even enough to live with. The in and out of folding clothes, putting back shoes, hanging up dresses…. The noose was looking real nice. He could go to college, sure, but the idea of being trapped in a classroom while also working made him want to slit his wrists. So, jcpenny would have to do.

He placed the folded shirt back onto the stack, sighing as he reached for another crumpled tee. His shift ended in 3 hours.. that was too long. Frank glanced down at his phone, checking for any updates on the baseball game. It seemed, just like him, they were losing. He put his phone back in his pocket, rubbing his eyes.

“Frank, could you come to the back, over,” rays voice cracked over the radio. Frank sighed, rolling his head back and staring at the ceiling. He tidyed up his station, reaching for the cord that connected to his ear piece.

“On my way, over,” he grumbled, walking down the tile walkway.

As he walked down, he avoided customers at every turn. It didnt matter if it took longer, he wasnt exactly thrilled to talk to his manager when he knew he had done something wrong. Being rude to a dumbass grandma wasnt company policy. Of course the clothes arent gonna fit her fatass grand daughter, its the kids section and that girl was definitely over the age of 10. He slowly meandered through the bedding, the back door of the stock room propped open with a shoebox. He stepped over the box, the warm sticky air of the back room instantly making him nauseous.

“Frank, over here,” ray called out, catching franks attention. He stepped into the small office, leaning on the doorway while picking at his nails.

“Sup,” he said, looking up at ray. There was someone sitting across from ray, a black haired, thin, pale..

“Gerard??” Frank exclaimed, catching gerards attention. How could frank forget those hazel eyes? That was his former classmate, the one who drew all the time, hunched over a notebook as the class moved around him. He went to art school, why was he in this shit hole?

“You know him?” Ray asked, leaning back in his chair. “Hes the new hire,”

“Hey frank, hows.. hows it goin’?” He smiled, a nervous air about him. Frank didn't expect that to make his heart skip a beat, yet the smile sent his heart racing.

That was gerard, the boy he always had a crush on.

“Eh, im alive despite the odds,” he laughed, quickly quieting as the room went stagnant. He glanced around, clearing his throat. “So, whats up?”

“Hes the new hire, i want you to show him around and train him,” ray said, glancing between them. “Since bob quit we needed another guy in mens and kids clothing, you cant do it alone,”

Frank scoffed, crossing his arms. “So now you acknowledge that,” he grumbled, looking at gerard. He looked so nervous, almost like he had never been in a store before. He was shaking a bit, legs trembling as he wrung his fingers.

“Soooo…. youll train him?” Ray raised his eyebrow.

“I mean, yeah, i guess. Do i get a pay raise?” Frank said, but the silence that filled the room answered. “Ok damn, lets go dude i need some help, a kid decided he was a fuckin’ tornado in the boys section,”

Gerard stood up, following frank out the room. Frank glanced over his shoulder at him, noting he was already in uniform. He clearly was nervous, fuck, anyone would be nervous on a first day at a store this big. Frank was scared on the first day, but that was so long ago that it almost didnt seem real.

“So…” frank said, opening the breakroom door. “Art school didnt work out?”

“I mean, it did, i just needed to get some extra money. Im working part time.” Gerard murmured, glancing around the empty break room with its faux motivational poster. Frank untangled the wires of the walkie, passing Gerard the earpiece.

“Yeah i feel that, shits tough,” frank looked over at gerard, his face in a nervous wash. “Dont be scared, the customers can smell fear,” frank smiled, looking into gerards hazel eyes. Gerard laughed, tucking a hair behind his ear.

Shit…. this is gonna be bad.

Frank cleared his throat, glancing around the room before quickly walking out. He could be normal, he could be straight and calm around this guy he had fantasized about kissing for a good 3 years, he wasnt gay.

He wasnt gay when he tucked that hair behind his ear, when he laughed, when he stood so nervously with his hand on his hip.. jesus christ, he was fucked.

“So… what do i do?” Gerard asked, pulling frank out of his head.

Frank paused. He had never trained anyone in his life, what was ray thinking?? Not even for a pay raise, this was bullshit.

“Honestly, i dont know how to train you, just watch what i do. Ask questions too.” Frank said, walking through the aisles of clothing racks. He weaved in and out of the clothes, silently noting where he would have to go clean later.

“Jesus is it always this messy?” Gerard whispered, glancing around. Frank sighed, grimacing as he went to straighten a stack.

“Ask a different question, i dont like that one,” frank teased, glancing over at gerard. He laughed nervously, muttering a small apology. “Im joking, your fine dude. Yeah, im not exactly good at my job. Its easy to get away with shit if you know where to hide. But still, what else do you wanna know.”

“Ok, uhhh… am I allowed to have my music?” Gerard asked, pulling the player from his pocket. Frank slowed as he reached where he had left off, turning to him.

“No, i wish,” frank muttered, picking up a crumpled shirt. “What kind of music do you listen to?”

“The smiths, Iron Maiden, weezer, stuff like that,” Gerard smiled, picking up a shirt. “How do you fold it like that?”

[vivicas-dollhouse]

Aglow; chapter 4

“FUCK,”

Frank slammed his head into the steering wheel, listening to the whirr of the car's engine failing rattling on. Of course his car had to fail on the night it was snowing. Because thats just how franks life went, one thing after another. He sighed, raising his head from the wheel and removing the key. He leaned back, exasperated.

Frank rarely smoked, he tried to limit it to when he was stressed. Call it a nervous habit, it was either that or go back to being a casual alcoholic. He opened his glovebox, the freezing plastics chill crawling up his fingers like a stinging vine.

Grabbing his cigarette box, he noted his hands shaking. He took note of it, but continued to fumble with the carton. He slotted a cig into his mouth, tossing the box back in and grabbing his lighter. He flicked the switch a few times, the flame bursting up and lighting the cigarette. Frank inhaled, the smoke burning his throat as it went down. He slowly exhaled, his head going clear as the smoke lingered in the air.

Frank didnt even really want to know what was wrong, either way it was going to cost more than what frank had in his bank account. If he could jump the car he might be saved, but only god knew if anyone had jumper cables.

Couldn't hurt to try.. gerard.

Frank took another puff as he rolled over their previous interaction in his head. The embarrassment still swung in his stomach, he had acted like a total loser, someone he wouldve bullied in high school. As much as he wanted to avoid gerard forever after that, he needed to get home to lois. If he could just get the car going for the night, he could avoid the bus and half mile walk from the stop.

Frank opened his door, holding the cig in the corner of his mouth as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He popped the hood as he pulled gerards number up on the dingy screen.

Just get this over with…

The phone rang, each buzz killing frank a bit more as he leaned on the bumper.

“H.. hello? Frank?” Gerards sleepy voice crackled over the phone.

“Hey, sorry were you asleep?” Frank grimaced, dropping his cigarette in the snow and stomping it out for good measure.

“No, your good, dont worry. Whats up?”

Frank sighed, rubbing his eyes out as he recoiled into himself. “My cars dead, i didnt know who else to call,”

Frank cringed at his own words, he didnt know who else to call? Was he an idiot? He had just met the guy again, they werent in love. Well, frank mightve been, but gerard definitely wa-

“Im on my way, gimme 15 minutes,”

Frank stared at the dim lights of the store, relaxing slightly. “Oh my god, thank you dude, ill pay you back i swear,” he smiled, shivering in the cold as the wind picked up.

“Dont worry man, i live nearby. Stay in your car, you'll catch cold. Ill be there soon, ok?” Gerards voice droned over the shitty speaker.

“Thanks, bye,” frank sighed, turning and closing his hood.

“Bye,”

The phone beeped, and frank tucked it into his jacket pocket. He sighed, yanking his door open and climbing inside. He slammed the door shut tight, resting his forehead on the icey steering wheel. Of course this had to happen, of course he had to seem like a pathetic wet cat in front of his crush… no, he was too old to call it a crush. It was an interest. No, crush. Whatever it was, it felt like he was melting every time he looked at gerards face and made him feel like an idiot for doing anything wrong in the slightest. And now he was calling him at one in the morning like a drunk ex.

As the minutes rolled by, frank grew colder and colder, the ice on the window practically stinging his skin despite the gap. He stared at the snow collecting on the windshield as the lights from the occasional passing car illuminated the car. He did anything to pass the time, watching his breath clouding and picking at his nails.

Eventually, a car pulled up next to his, a red suburban with assorted bumper stickers. Frank exited his car, looking through the window at gerards smiling face. Gerard rolled it down, the heat melting the ice from franks skin.

“Well?” Gerard asked, motioning him forward. Frank stood there confused.

“Huh?”

“I thought you wanted me to take you home?” Gerard said, bundled up in a blanket and grey pajamas. Franks face sunk, the embarrassment nestling into every crack and corner of his body.

“I just wanted you to jump it..” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck and shaking the snow from his head.

Gerard stared at frank, smiling slightly and laughing nervously. “I dont… i dont know how to do that..” he stuttered, looking away. “Just get in the car, ill drive you. No worries.”

Frank hesitated, face red as he looked over gerard nestled in his car, his warm car…

He quickly pulled open the passenger door, climbing in as Gerard rolled up the window. He shivered as Gerard turned the heat up.

“Thank you so much, ill pay you back i swear. Just say the word.” Frank grinned, putting his address into the gps. Gerard laughed softly, sending a rush of blood into franks face.

“Just be my friend, i like… i like being your friend. Thats all i want.” Gerard soothed, taking the gps from franks hand and putting the car in drive. Frank laughed, his cheeks red.

“I love being your friend bro, so dont worry about that. How about i get you some coffee, sound good gee?” Frank glanced at gerards flushed face.

“If.. if we can have it together..” gerard mumbled, a quiet giggle hidden in his voice. Frank looked straight ahead as they stopped at a light. Was this really happening??

“Of course, id love to,” frank stammered, trying desperately to not seem too excited. His car didnt matter anymore, he just had gerard offer a date with him, nothing else mattered.

A silence fell between them, a brief moment of tension lingering in the air as the car drove through the snowy night.

“You still play guitar, right?”

Frank cleared his throat, mustering up every drop of cool from his body he could manage. He couldnt seem like a loser.

“Yeah, not as often anymore but i do,” he said, glancing over at gerard. He seemed fine, he had that same gentle look on his face, his beautiful eyes focused on the road. Frank couldn't help but stare, he was beautiful.

“You should play for me sometime, ill trade you some art,” he offered, turning the corner. Frank laughed, catching gerard off guard.

“Your arts worth more man, you draw like a prodigy. Im just a self taught one man show,” frank droned, listening to the gps give the final instruction to his apartments street.

“Im a self taught artist too you know. Youd be surprised how good you are to other people. This ones your complex? Or the other one?”

[oh--vivica]

Ferard is the only thing getting me through my manic episode