đŠđŹđşđť đđšđ°đŹđľđŤđş đŤđśđľâđť đ˛đľđśđť You go back to the summer cabin with your lifelong best friend Bucky Barnes and the tension youâve both ignored finally becomes impossible to deny. One charged night changes everything between you, no longer just best friends, but something irrevocably more.
alpha!bucky barnes x fem!omega!reader
word count : 17,9k
warnings 18+ : no use of y/n, childhood bestfriends to lovers, somnophilia, stealing intimate items for masturbation, bucky is a pervvv, dddne, guilt-ridden sexual acts, consuming bodily fluids without prior consent, unprotected sex, breeding, knotting, scenting, biting, pheromonal compulsion, heavy guilt and self-hatred while doing the wrong sexual acts, first heat/first rut happening (both late), a/b/o & possessive dynamics, fingering, virginity loss
authorâs note : first of all I just wanna say the BIGGEST thank you for 2k followers like what??? thatâs actually insane!!! please take this fic as a little gift from me to you <3 Iâm beyond grateful for every single one of you. and second of all⌠since centuries of rut kinda blew up (which still feels unreal), I decided to cook up another a/b/o bucky fic đŠđŠ
Old Polaroids still live in the glove compartment of Buckyâs truck, faded edges, corners curling from years of being handled, the plastic sleeves cracked from too many openings and closings.
Thereâs one of you at eight, gap-toothed and grinning wide, perched on his skinny shoulders while he pretends to stagger under your âenormousâ weight, both of you laughing so hard the photo is blurry.
Another from twelve: you braiding his too-long hair on the cabin porch steps, him scowling at the camera but letting you finish, the sun catching the brunette strands that always refused to stay tame.
A blurry one from sixteen: both of you asleep on the attic pull-out couch after a late-night movie marathon, your head tucked under his chin, his arm slung protectively around you like it was the most natural thing in the world. His mom took the picture quietly and slipped it into the stack later; neither of you ever mentioned it.
Everyone always said you were inseparable. Best friends. Practically siblings.
They never mentioned how his hand sometimes lingered a second too long when he helped you down from the dock, fingers brushing the back of your knee. They never mentioned how youâd catch yourself staring at the line of his jaw when he laughed, sharp, shadowed, the way it flexed when he was trying not to smile too big.
They never mentioned the quiet nights when the rest of the group had gone to bed and youâd stay up talking until the sky lightened, voices low, knees touching on the porch swing, the silence between sentences heavier than words.
Now youâre both twenty-two, back from sophomore year of college, still virgins, still waiting for that first presentation that everyone else got years ago.
Late bloomers, the doctors called it with clinical shrugs. Lucky, your mom called it with a wink, like it was a gift instead of a delay. You both just called it annoying. Friends had heats and ruts in high school, paired off, moved on. You and Bucky stayed the same, safe, platonic, untouched by the biology that rewrote everyone elseâs lives. Sometimes you wondered if it was a mercy or a curse.
This summer the families are caravanning to the cabin like always, the annual week of lake swims, bonfires and board games. But Bucky texted you last week, casual as ever.
Bucky 9:56am
Hey. Iâll drive you up early. Beat the traffic, set up the attic real quick, snag the good couch spot before anyone else tries to steal it. Just you and me, no rush, no chaos. Sound good?
Everyone thought it was sweet. Typical Bucky, looking out for you.
You didnât tell them how your stomach flipped when you read it.
The truck smells like motor oil, pine air freshener, and him, cedar, faint metal, something warm and smoky underneath that always made your head swim a little when you were close.
Windows down the whole way, old pop-punk blasting from speakers that crackle when the bass hits. You sing off-key on purpose just to make him laugh; he rolls his eyes but belts the chorus louder than you, voice rough from disuse but still carrying every note like muscle memory.
Halfway there the road narrows, trees thickening into proper forest, sunlight dappling the cracked windshield in shifting gold patterns. Itâs sticky, end-of-June hot so the AC is useless and the windows stay wide open. You kick off your sneakers, prop bare feet on the dash. He pretends to hate it, mutters something about fingerprints but never actually tells you to move them. Never has.
The playlist loops to that one song from high school, the one you used to scream-sing in his bedroom until his mom banged on the wall and threatened to unplug the stereo. You grin, unbuckle and before he can finish saying âdonât-â youâre already leaning halfway out the passenger window.
Arms spread like wings, hair whipping wild in the wind, you arch your back into the rush like youâre flying. The loose cropped tank stretches tight across your chest, wind molding it to every curve. No bra, too hot and itâs just Bucky. The hem flips up with a sudden gust, flashing the smooth underside of your breast, the soft curve where skin meets ribcage, glowing in the sun.
âJesus Christ!â Buckyâs voice cracks high, hand shooting out to fist the front of your denim shorts like youâre about to tumble onto the road. âYouâre gonna fall out! Get back in here!â
You laugh, loud and free over the rush of air, swinging your head side to side. âBuck, itâs fine! Just drive! Feels amazing- come on, live a little!â
He canât stop looking.
Knuckles white on the wheel, eyes flicking between the empty backroad and you: arched spine, wind-plastered tank, nipples pebbled from the breeze, that accidental strip of underboob. His throat works hard. Heat floods his face, then surges lower, cock twitching painfully against his zipper, sudden and insistent.
âFuck- okay, okay, just- get in before I crash us both,â he stutters, voice pitching like heâs sixteen again. âYouâre- Jesus, youâre killing me here.â
You duck back inside, cheeks flushed from wind and laughter, shirt falling back down but not before he steals one last glimpse. You flop against the seat, still grinning.
âWhat? Itâs hot. You used to let me do that all the time when we were younger.â
âYeah,â he mutters, shifting in his seat, trying to angle his hips away from view, âwhen you were eighteen and flat as a board.â He swallows hard. âNow youâre⌠youâre not.â
You blink at him, teasing edge softening. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âNothing. Forget it.â He cranks the broken AC to full blast, praying the weak puff of cool air kills the throbbing erection before you notice.
You do notice, the fidgeting, the hand he keeps low on the wheel, the flush crawling up his neck to his ears.
âBuck?â Soft, teasing but gentle. âYou okay?â
âYeah. Fine. Just- roadâs bumpy.â He clears his throat twice. âDonât do that again unless you want me to drive us into a tree.â
You laugh again, crank the music louder, oblivious. Or pretending to be.
He spends the next twenty minutes white-knuckling the wheel, thighs clenched, reciting engine specs and batting averages under his breath to will the hardness away. It only half works.
Every glance sideways shows the faint outline of your nipples through the thin tank, the way your shorts ride high on your thighs, skin still flushed from the wind. And something else, your scent on the breeze, sweet and warm, just starting to bloom like honeysuckle after rain. His own scent sharpens without him noticing, cedar turning darker, smokier, edged with something desperate and metallic.
The cabin appears at the end of the dirt road, quiet and empty, families still hours away. Pine needles crunch under the tires as he parks.
You hop out first, stretch tall, arms overhead. The cropped tank rides up again, another flash of underboob, innocent and devastating in the late-afternoon light. Bucky stays in the driverâs seat an extra minute, head dropped to the wheel, breathing hard through his mouth, willing his body to calm down.
He tells himself itâs nothing. Just the heat. Just old habits. Just the cabin pulling old memories to the surface.
But deep in his gut, something ancient and hungry stirs for the first time, low, insistent, like a door creaking open after years of being locked.
That night the attic room feels smaller than ever. Shared pull-out couch, same as always, same faded quilt, same creak when you shift.
You toss and turn, low-grade fever creeping under your skin, making the sheets feel too heavy, too rough. Bucky lies rigid beside you, pretending to sleep, pretending he doesnât feel the air thickening between you, pretending he doesnât catch the faint, sweet shift in your scent every time you roll closer.
Pretending he doesnât already know whatâs coming.
Because he does.
Heâs felt it building for years, in stolen glances, in the way his pulse jumped when you hugged him goodbye before college, in the hoodie he never gave back because it still smelled like you. Heâs ignored it, buried it, told himself it was nothing.
But tonight, lying inches from you in the dark, the lie feels thinner than the quilt between you.
And something inside him is finally starting to crack.
The morning sun filters through the pine trees outside the cabin windows, casting long shadows across the worn wooden floors.
You wake up tangled in the sheets of the pull-out couch, the attic room still dim and stuffy from last nightâs humidity.
Buckyâs side of the bed is already empty, neatly made, like he couldnât sleep either. That low, nagging warmth in your belly lingers, a dull ache thatâs been building since the truck ride yesterday.
You blame it on the travel, the excitement, maybe even the greasy diner food you grabbed on the way up. Definitely not anything else. Not the way Buckyâs scent seemed to cling to the pillows, sharper than usual, making your skin feel too tight.
Downstairs, the cabin is alive with the familiar chaos of family vacation mornings. The coffee maker gurgles on the countrr, filling the air with the rich, bitter aroma of coffee. Bacon sizzles in a pan, popping and spitting grease while Buckyâs mom flips slices with a spatula, humming an old tune under her breath.
Your dad is at the table, newspaper spread wide, grumbling about the stock market even on break. Buckyâs sister, Becca, bounces in from the porch, her ponytail swinging, already in her swimsuit with a towel draped over her shoulders.
âItâs already pushing ninety out there,â Becca announces, grabbing a strip of bacon straight from the pan and dodging her momâs swat. âLake time before lunch? Come on, we canât waste this weather!â
Your mom laughs from the sink, rinsing berries. âIâm in. Just slather on the sunscreen, last year you all burned like lobsters.â
Everyone murmurs agreement, the energy shifting to that easy, vacation buzz. Buckyâs dad claps his hands together. âAlright troops, suits on, towels ready. Letâs make it happen.â
You feel a flush creep up your neck at the thought of changing. Itâs silly, youâve all done this a hundred times but something feels different this year. Maybe itâs college making you more self-conscious, or the way Bucky avoided eye contact last night when you both climbed into the shared bed, muttering ânightâ like it was a chore. You slip into the downstairs bathroom while the others scatter, locking the door with a soft click.
The swimsuit is nothing fancy: a simple navy two-piece from last summerâs clearance rack. High-waisted bottoms that hug your hips comfortably, a triangle top that ties at the neck and back, leaving just enough skin exposed to feel breezy but not exposed.
Youâve worn it to pool parties with college friends, no big deal. But here? With the families? With Bucky? Your reflection in the foggy mirror stares back, cheeks already pink. You tug the strings tighter, adjust the fabric and throw on a loose cover-up before stepping out.
The porch creaks under your flip-flops as you head down to the water, towel slung over your shoulder. The lake sparkles under the high sun, a mirror of blue sky and surrounding pines.
Buckyâs already there, knee-deep in the shallows, fiddling with the dock ladder like itâs the most important task in the world. Heâs in plain black trunks, fitted, riding low on his hips, the kind that show off the V of muscle from years of campus gym sessions. His back is to you at first, shoulders broad and tense, the faint scars from old accidents (or that one time he fell off the roof as a kid) catching the light.
He turns when he hears your footsteps on the gravel path. His gaze flicks over you, quick, almost dismissive then snaps away to the water. Then back. Slower this time, lingering on the hem of your cover-up where it brushes your thighs.
âUh⌠looks good,â he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, the other still gripping the ladder like a lifeline. His voice is rougher than usual, like he swallowed wrong. âI mean- the suit. Itâs⌠new?â
You smile, trying to ignore the sudden flutter in your chest, the way his eyes keep darting back. âNot new. Just havenât worn it here before. You know, college pool parties and stuff.â
He nods, Adamâs apple bobbing. Doesnât meet your eyes fully. âRight. Cool. Yeah, makes sense.â
The awkwardness hangs for a second, thick as the humid air, before Becca cannonballs off the dock with a whoop, splashing everyone and breaking the tension. âLast one inâs a rotten egg!â
The group piles in with shouts and splashes, your parents wading slowly, Buckyâs dad doing an exaggerated belly flop that sends waves rippling. You and Bucky hang back at first, old habits dying hard. You slip off the cover-up, folding it neatly on a rock and wade in together. The water is shockingly cool against your heated skin, goosebumps prickling up your arms as it laps at your calves, then thighs, then waist.
It starts innocent enough, like every summer before. Bucky splashes you first, a light spray across your face. You retaliate with a full palm-skim, drenching his hair. He laughs, real and bright, grabbing your wrists to stop you. âOh, itâs on now!â
You twist free, diving under to escape, and the playfight escalates: him dunking you under when you least expect it, you jumping on his back to pull him down.
At one point, you climb onto his shoulders for an improvised chicken fight against Becca and her boyfriend, your thighs clamped around his neck, his hands steadying your calves. He stumbles on purpose, sending you both toppling in a tangle of limbs and laughter. Underwater, bubbles swirl around you, his body brushing yours in the chaos, chest to your back, his arm looping around your waist to pull you up.
You surface gasping, sides hurting from laughing. âTruce?â you wheeze, treading water close to him, faces inches apart.
âNever,â he says but heâs grinning, that real, boyish smile you havenât seen since high school, water dripping from his lashes. For a moment, itâs just you two, like kids again, the world narrowed to the lake and the sun on your skin.
But then you swim to the dock to climb out, needing a breather. Water streams off you in rivulets, the suit clinging like a second skin, dark fabric plastered transparent in places, nipples pebbled hard from the cold, every curve outlined unmistakably. You haul yourself up onto the warm wood, dripping puddles, and turn to call him over. âCome on, slowpoke! Race you to the cabin?â
Buckyâs still in the water. Staring.
Not subtle at all. Not even pretending anymore. His eyes trace a slow path: the line of your throat where water beads, down to your chest heaving from the swim, over the dip of your stomach, the way the wet bottoms hug your hips and thighs. His jaw flexes, lips parting slightly like heâs forgotten how to breathe. Color creeps up his neck and he dives under fast, disappearing beneath the murky surface as if trying to drown whatever thought just crossed his mind.
You sit on the edge of the dock, legs dangling in the water, pretending you didnât notice the heat in his gaze. But your skin prickles with awareness, a flush thatâs not just from the sun blooming across your chest. Whatâs his deal? you think, kicking your feet lazily. Itâs just a swimsuit. Just me.
He surfaces a minute later, hair slicked back dark and wet, breathing harder than the swim warrants. He shakes his head like a dog, sending droplets flying. âSorry,â he calls over, voice strained. âThought I saw a fish or something. Big one.â
You roll your eyes, smirking to hide the butterflies. âSmooth, Barnes. Real smooth.â
The group starts drifting toward lunch, parents complaining about hunger, Becca towing her boyfriend by the hand. âCome on, you two! Foodâs ready!â
You climb up from the dock, grab your towel from the rock and head up the shaded path to dry off. Behind a cluster of trees for a bit of privacy, you peel off the wet top and bottoms, modest enough with everyone else distracted. The air feels good on your bare skin for a second, cooling the persistent warmth in your core. You wrap the towel around yourself snugly and drape the suit over a flat rock in the sun to dry, bottoms folded neatly on top.
Bucky stays in the water longer than anyone, even after the others have toweled off and headed inside. When he finally emerges, heâs shivering despite the heat, arms crossed tight over his chest like heâs holding himself together. Water washes down his torso, catching in the faint trail of hair below his navel. He walks past the rock where your suit dries without looking at it or at least, thatâs what it seems. But you catch the twitch of his hand, the way his fingers flex as if debating.
You donât think much of it then. You head inside for lunch, sandwiches and cold lemonade around the big oak table, everyone talking over each other about plans for the afternoon hike or board games if it rains. Bucky joins late, hair still damp, in fresh shorts and a t-shirt that clings a little too much. He sits across from you, quiet, picking at his food. His knee bounces under the table. When your eyes meet, he looks away fast, muttering something about needing more mustard.
Later that afternoon, the cabin quiets down. Parents napping on the porch swing, gentle snores mingling with the hum of cicadas. Becca and her boyfriend head off for a hike, backpacks slung low. Youâre on the hammock out back, book open on your lap but not really reading, your mind keeps replaying the lake, Buckyâs stare, the accidental brushes underwater. That warmth in your belly flares again, insistent now, making you shift uncomfortably.
Thatâs when you hear it: the soft click of the downstairs bathroom door locking.
Inside, Bucky leans back against the sink, the cool porcelain a shock against his overheated skin. His heart slams so hard it echoes in his ears, a frantic drumbeat of shame and want.
Your bikini bottoms are balled tight in his fist, heâd snatched them from the rock when no one was looking, during the chaos of unpacking the cooler for lunch. His palm had brushed the damp fabric, and it was like electricity, heart in his throat the whole time, convinced someone would turn and see.
He shouldnât do this.
He knows he shouldnât.
Heâs done bad things before, stolen your hoodie from the laundry in college, buried his face in it that night until the scent faded. A hair tie from your backpack once, twisted around his wrist like a talisman. But this? This is new territory. Filthier. Wronger.
But the fabric is still damp from the lake, still warm somehow from your body and thereâs that faint trace of something new weaving through it, sweet, slick, almost honeyed. Your scent. Not the full bloom of heat yet but the first tentative leak, the prelude thatâs been teasing him since the truck ride, since last night in the attic when he lay awake listening to your soft breaths.
With shaking hands, he brings the bottoms to his face. Presses them to his nose. Inhales deep, slow, like he can pull you into his lungs.
âFuck,â he whispers, voice cracking on the word. âFuck, Iâm sorry. So goddamn sorry.â
The smell crashes over him like a wave, your skin, fresh lake water, sunscreen and that warm, needy undertone that twists something deep in his gut. His cock throbs instantly, straining painfully against his shorts. He shoves them down just enough with his free hand, wraps his fist around himself, already leaking, already desperate.
He strokes fast, too fast, jerky and guilty, the damp fabric still pressed to his mouth like a gag. âIâm so fucked up,â he breathes against the cloth, words muffled and wrecked. âYouâre right there⌠my best friend⌠and Iâm doing this⌠smelling you like some creep. Iâm sorry, Iâm so fucking sorryâŚâ
His hips jerk forward into his hand. He bites his lip hard to muffle the groan, tasting blood as he comes hard and sudden, spilling over his fist in hot, shameful pulses that leave him shaking. The bikini bottoms stay pressed to his face the whole time, soaking up the ragged sounds of his breathing, the quiet sob that slips out at the end.
When itâs over, he slumps against the wall, chest heaving, legs weak. Tears prick hot at the corners of his eyes, blurring the tile floor. What the hell is wrong with me? he thinks, staring at the fabric in his hand like itâs evidence. Sheâs outside reading, trusting me, and Iâm⌠this.
He cleans himself up with wads of toilet paper, hands still trembling. Wipes the bottoms as best he can with a damp cloth from the sink, careful, almost reverent, then unlocks the door and slips quietly back into the house.
The laundry pile is right there in the narrow hallway off the kitchen, a big overflowing basket of beach towels, damp swimsuits, and everyoneâs clothes from the day. No oneâs around; the house is still quiet, just the low hum of the fridge and the distant sound of crickets outside. He glances over his shoulder once, heart hammering then tucks your bikini bottoms underneath a folded beach towel near the bottom of the pile. Careful. Stealthy. Like nothing ever happened.
But as he walks back outside, the clawing shame doesnât fade. He can still taste the faint salt of lake water on his tongue. Still feel the phantom weight of your body against his in the water. Still hear his own broken apologies echoing in his head, meaningless now.
And somewhere under his skin, buried deep but stirring stronger, something darker is waking up, something primal that doesnât care about sorry, about best friends, about right and wrong.
Something that just wants more. And itâs only the first full day at the cabin.
The cabin quiets after dinner in stages, the familiar rhythms of family winding down like a clock ticking toward silence. First the clatter of dishes being stacked in the sink, silverware clinking against plates, the occasional laugh as someone recounts a story from the lake that day.
Then the low murmur of parents saying goodnight on the porch, chairs scraping as they stand, voices fading into the night like echoes. Finally, the creak of floorboards as everyone drifts to their rooms, doors clicking shut one by one, leaving only the hum of crickets and the distant lap of the lake against the shore.
The wind from earlier has died down completely, leaving the air thick and still, heavy with the scent of pine sap and cooling earth. You climb the narrow attic stairs alone, each step feeling heavier than it should, the wood groaning under your weight like itâs protesting the climb.
Your skin feels wrong, too tight, too hot, like someone turned the thermostat up inside your body and forgot to tell you. Sweat beads at the small of your back, even though the night has cooled outside. The low ache from earlier has spread, subtle and unrelenting, low in your belly, between your thighs, a persistent throb that makes every brush of fabric against your skin unbearable, electric.
You tell yourself itâs just the heat of the day lingering, just exhaustion from swimming and laughing and pretending everything is normal. Youâve had off days before, cramps, fevers, the kind that come and go without explanation. This is nothing new. Nothing to worry about.
You change into an old tank top and soft sleep shorts, loose, familiar, the same ones youâve worn in this room every summer since you could remember, faded from too many washes, the hem frayed from years of use.
The pull-out couch is already made up, sheets cool against your fevered skin when you slide in, but the relief is fleeting. You leave the small triangular window cracked, hoping the night air will help, a faint breeze whispering through the screen carrying the scent of water and woods. It doesnât. If anything, it makes the ache sharper, like the coolness is mocking the fire building inside you.
You curl onto your side, knees drawn up, trying to breathe through it. Deep inhales, slow exhales. But each breath pulls in the faint trace of Buckyâs scent from the pillows, cedar and something metallic, lingering from last night. It makes your head swim, the throb between your legs pulse harder. You press your thighs together, bite your lip to stifle a whimper. Just sleep, you think. Itâll be gone in the morning.
Downstairs, Bucky lingers in the kitchen longer than necessary. He rinses the last coffee mug under the faucet, watching the water swirl down the drain like itâs the most fascinating thing in the world. Then he wipes the counter twice, once with a sponge, once with a dish towel, scrubbing at invisible spots until his arms ache. Anything to delay going up those stairs. Anything to avoid the attic, the shared bed, you.
He can smell it already, your scent drifting down the stairs like smoke signals, sweet and syrupy, blooming stronger with every passing minute.
Itâs not the full force of heat yet, but itâs close. Close enough that his mouth waters involuntarily, his pulse hammers in his ears, his cock twitches traitorously in his sweatpants, half-hard just from the tease of it.
His own body betrays him too, the rut stirring low in his gut, a restless energy that makes his skin itch, his muscles tense like coiled springs. He grips the edge of the sink until his knuckles ache, staring at his reflection in the dark window above it.
Stay down here, he tells himself, voice a harsh whisper in his mind. Sleep on the couch. Pretend youâre drunk. Pretend you ate something bad. Pretend anything. But his feet move anyway, slow, deliberate, like theyâre not listening to him anymore. Up the stairs. Past the creaky third step heâs known since he was ten. To the attic door.
He pauses with his hand on the knob, ear pressed to the wood. Your breathing is uneven inside, shallow pants, soft whimpers youâre trying to muffle into the pillow. He can hear them. Smell them. Feel them in his bones, like a hook pulling him forward.
He opens the door.
The room is dim, lit only by the moonlight slicing through the triangular window, casting long shadows across the slanted ceiling. Youâre curled on your side, knees drawn up tight, arms wrapped around yourself like youâre trying to hold the heat in or keep it from escaping completely. Your hair sticks to your damp forehead in dark strands. Your scent hits him full force now, rich, needy, unmistakable, wrapping around him like a vise.
You donât look up right away, eyes squeezed shut against another wave of discomfort. âBuck?â Your voice is small, cracked, barely above a whisper.
âYeah.â He closes the door behind him softly. Locks it without thinking, the click echoing too loud in the quiet. âCouldnât sleep downstairs. Couch is lumpy.â
A weak laugh escapes you, more breath than sound. âLiar.â
He crosses the room in three steps, drops to sit on the edge of the mattress. The bed dips under his weight. You flinch at the sudden movement, then relax when you realize itâs him. Always him. His presence alone eases something in you, the ache dulls just a fraction, like his nearness is a balm.
âI can smell it,â he says quietly, no point in pretending anymore. âYour heat. Itâs⌠starting.â
You swallow hard, finally opening your eyes to meet his. Theyâre dark in the low light, pupils blown wide. âI know. I thought- I thought maybe it was just a fever. But itâs not going away. Itâs getting worse.â
He exhales through his nose, shaky and uneven. âMine too.â
Your eyes snap wider, searching his face. âYouâre-?â
âFirst rut.â He laughs once, bitter and self-conscious, running a hand through his hair. âFigures it would hit the same week. Same night. Same fucking attic. Like the universe has a sense of humor.â
Silence stretches between you, thick and electric, charged with everything unsaid over the years. The childhood friendship that never quite stayed innocent. The glances that lingered too long. The way you both always ended up here, in this room, pretending it was just tradition.
You shift slightly, wincing as the movement drags the sheet across your oversensitive skin, sending a fresh spark of need through you. âIt hurts,â you whisper, voice trembling. âNot bad yet, just⌠constant. Like Iâm burning from the inside out. Empty. I donât know how to make it stop.â
He nods, throat working visibly. He knows exactly what you mean, his own body feels like a live wire, every nerve singing with want, every breath pulling more of your scent into his lungs until heâs dizzy with it, until his rut claws at him from the inside, demanding more.
âI⌠I can help,â he says, voice rough around the edges, like the words are being dragged out of him. âWith the scent thing. If you want. It⌠calms it down. A little.â
You hesitate, brows furrowing. âScent thing?â
He rubs the back of his neck, cheeks flushing darker even in the dim light. Awkwardness rolls off him in waves, stammering, avoiding your eyes.
âYeah, uh⌠like, close contact. Nuzzling, or⌠licking the gland. Releases pheromones or something. Makes the heat less⌠frantic.â He pauses, swallowing hard. âI, um, overheard Mom talking to Becca last year. When her boyfriend was here during her heat. She said if things got too much, they could try scenting first. You know, to take the edge off without⌠without going all the way. Said itâs safer, especially for first times.â
The memory flashes through his mind unbidden: him paused outside Beccaâs door last summer, frozen when he heard his momâs voice inside, calm, matter-of-fact, explaining the basics like it was no big deal. âJust scenting, honey. It helps without complicating things.â Becca had groaned in embarrassment; her boyfriend had mumbled something awkward. Bucky had backed away fast, face burning but the idea stuck. Lingered. Especially when he thought about you.
You blink at him, processing. The suggestion hangs there, awkward and intimate, making the air feel even thicker. âOh. I⌠didnât know that was a thing.â Your voice is small, but curious. The ache pulses again, sharper, and you shift uncomfortably. âDoes it really help?â
He nods, still not meeting your eyes fully. âFrom what Iâve heard. Yeah. But only if youâre comfortable. I can⌠I can go back downstairs if-â
âNo.â The word slips out fast, desperate. âStay. Please. I trust you.â
He exhales, relief and tension mixing in his expression. âOkay. Yeah. Okay.â
He moves behind you slowly, careful not to startle, like youâre something fragile he might break. Slides under the sheet, spoons you from behind, chest pressing to your back, arm sliding around your waist, careful not to press too hard, not to let you feel how affected he already is. His nose finds the crook of your neck immediately, right over your scent gland. He inhales deep, greedy, a low rumble starting in his chest before he can stop it, instinctive, alpha-deep.
You sigh, body going liquid against him almost instantly. âThat⌠that feels better already.â
He nuzzles closer, lips brushing skin tentatively. âTell me if itâs too much. Or if I should stop.â
It isnât too much. Itâs exactly what you need.
He licks, slow, tentative at first, just the flat of his tongue over your gland, testing. You whimper, arching back into him without thinking, the sound pulling a groan from his throat.
He does it again, longer this time, wetter, tasting salt and sweetness and you. His arm tightens around your waist, pulling you flush. His hips press forward instinctively, the hard line of his cock nestling against your ass through thin layers of fabric.
You donât pull away. If anything, you press back, a soft moan escaping.
His scent floods the room in response, dark cedar, gunmetal, smoke, sharp and possessive, mingling with yours in a heady mix that makes the air feel drugged. It wraps around you like a blanket, heavy and warm, soothing the fire in your veins. Your eyelids grow heavy almost instantly, the frantic edge of your heat dulling under the weight of his presence. Safe. So safe. Protected.
But itâs not one-sided.
Even as your body melts, your own instincts stir, deep and shy, curious and innocent. You turn your head slowly, nose brushing the side of his jaw, then his neck.
His scent gland is right there, warm and pulsing. You nuzzle it tentatively, awkward and unsure, just mirroring what heâs doing. Your tongue darts out, small, hesitant licks against his skin, tasting cedar and metal and him. Itâs clumsy, inexperienced, your cheeks burning with embarrassment even as you do it.
Bucky freezes. A choked sound escapes him, half groan, half whimper. âOh- fuck- baby-â
You pull back a fraction, eyes wide and nervous. âIs⌠is that okay? I just- I thought⌠maybe it works both ways? Like⌠fairness?â
He nods frantically, eyes glassy, voice wrecked. âYeah. Yeah, itâs- more than okay. God. Keep going. Please.â
You do, awkward, innocent little licks along his gland, mirroring his rhythm. Your tongue is shy, tentative but every pass makes him tremble harder, hips jerking against you in tiny, helpless rocks. His scent deepens in response, smokier, more desperate and yours answers, sweetening, blooming brighter.
âFeels⌠weird,â you mumble against his skin, voice small and embarrassed. âGood weird. But I donât- I donât know what Iâm doing.â
âMe neither,â he admits, voice cracking. âNever done this. Never even- never even kissed anyone. Just you. Always you.â
You both blush harder at the confession, two virgins fumbling through instinct, through need, through trust.
He keeps licking your gland, slow and careful. You keep licking his, awkward, innocent, both of you trembling, both of you making soft, embarrassed noises every time your tongues brush skin.
Your eyelids grow heavier. The frantic edge of your heat dulls under the weight of his presence, his scent, his careful touches. Safe. So safe. Protected.
âBuckâŚâ you mumble, already slurring, the world softening at the edges.
âMmm?â He presses open-mouthed kisses along your neck now, teeth grazing but not biting, each one sending little sparks through you. âYou okay? Still good?â
âFeels⌠so goodâŚâ Your words trail off into a sigh. Breathing slows. Deepens.
He keeps going, slow, reverent drags of his tongue, soft purrs vibrating through his chest into your back, the sound rumbling like distant thunder. His hand splays wide over your stomach, thumb brushing just under the hem of your tank in soothing circles. Not groping. Just holding. Claiming in the gentlest way he knows how.
You sigh once more, soft, content, almost a purr of your own and slip under completely. Deep, scent-drunk sleep. The kind only an alphaâs presence can pull an omega into during a first heat.
Bucky freezes mid-lick, tongue still pressed to your skin.
He listens: your breathing even now, slow and peaceful. Completely out. Trusting. Vulnerable.
âOh fuck,â he breathes, the words barely audible. Horror and hunger twist together in his gut, sharp as knives.
He should stop. Pull away. Go sleep on the floor downstairs. Lock himself in the bathroom. Anything to put distance between you.
Instead, his hips rock forward, small, helpless, instinctive. The friction through his sweatpants is torture. Perfect torture. His cock throbs, already leaking, the rut demanding more now that heâs this close, this immersed in your scent.
âBabyâŚâ he whispers against your hair, voice wrecked. âNeed more. Just a little more. PleaseâŚâ
No answer. Of course not.
He whimpers, high, broken, needy, the sound pathetic even to his own ears. Presses his face harder into your neck, mouthing at your gland like he can drink the calm straight from your skin, like he can absorb the trust you gave him and somehow make this okay.
His hand slides lower, trembling, slips under the waistband of your shorts. Finds you soaked, swollen, clit throbbing even in sleep under his fingertips. He bites his own lip until it bleeds, copper tang grounding him for a second.
âJust gonna touch,â he tells your sleeping form, voice shaking with guilt and want. âWonât wake you. Promise. Iâm sorry- Iâm so sorryâŚâ
Fingers circle slow. Slick and careful, petting gently. Your hips twitch once, unconscious little rock and he groans low, wrecked, forehead dropping to your shoulder.
âSo wet for me,â he mumbles, words slurred against your skin. âEven when youâre dreaming. Fuck- you want it too, donât you? Say yes. Please just- say yes even if youâre asleep-â
He grinds against you harder now, shallow thrusts through fabric, cock leaking steadily, making a mess of his sweatpants. His fingers speed up, just a little, rubbing tight circles over your clit while he ruts like a desperate teenager, hips snapping with less control.
The guilt is screaming in his head, louder than before. Sheâs asleep. She trusts you. Youâre disgusting. Stop. Stopstopstop- Flashbacks hit him, stealing your hoodie in college, jerking off with it pressed to his face that night; the swimsuit bottoms from today, still damp in his memory; the way heâs always been like this, wanting you in secret, hating himself for it. Best friend. Sheâs your best friend. What kind of monster are you?
But his body doesnât listen. The rut doesnât care about guilt or friendship or years of restraint.
He comes with a choked sob, muffled against your neck, hot pulses soaking the front of his sweatpants, hips jerking hard against you in frantic, uneven thrusts. He shakes through it, whole body trembling, fingers still moving on you until he feels the tiny flutter of your body coming too, soft, dreamy, barely-there orgasm that leaves you sighing and nestling closer even in sleep, like your subconscious knows itâs him and wants more.
He pants against your hair, hot tears stinging his eyes now. Heart hammering like itâs trying to escape his chest.
Slowly, carefully he withdraws his hand. Wipes it on his ruined pants with a grimace. Pulls the blanket higher over both of you, tucking it around your shoulders like that can make up for what heâs done.
You donât stir. Peaceful. Claimed.
He presses the softest kiss to the back of your neck, right over where heâs been licking for what feels like hours, the skin glistening faintly in the moonlight.
âLove you,â he whispers, voice cracked and raw. âSo fucking much. Iâm sorry. Iâll make it right. Somehow.â
He curls tighter around you. Still hard. Still aching, the rut not satisfied with just this. But calmer now, at least for the moment.
You sleep on, safe, claimed by scent, marked in the only way heâll allow himself tonight.
Buckyâs chest heaves in the aftermath, each breath a ragged pull that does nothing to steady him, his heart slamming against his ribs like it's trying to escape the prison of his body. His sweatpants are ruined, sticky, cooling uncomfortably against his thighs but the rut doesn't care about discomfort.
Itâs not done. Not even close. His cock twitches weakly, already stirring again, the alpha instinct roaring back to life with a vengeance that makes his hands shake. He can feel the knot forming at the base, swollen and insistent, even though he hasnât pushed inside you yet. The thought alone sends a fresh wave of shame crashing over him, hot, choking, familiar.
He lies there for what feels like an eternity, arm still draped over your waist, fingers splayed possessively across your stomach. The warmth of your skin seeps through the thin tank, grounding him and torturing him in equal measure.
Get up, he thinks desperately, go splash water on your face, sleep on the goddamn floor downstairs. Lock yourself in the bathroom until morning.
But your scent curls around him like smoke from a dying fire, sweet and cloying, seeping into his pores until his mouth waters again, until his vision blurs at the edges. The alpha in him stirs, primal and unyielding, whispering that this is right, that youâre his to claim, to take, to mark in every way possible. The man in him, the virgin whoâs never even kissed anyone properly, the one whoâs been your best friend since scraped knees and shared secrets, screams back: She's asleep. She's vulnerable. She's your best fucking friend. This isn't you.
Memories flood him unbidden, adding layers to the torment: the first time he realized his feelings weren't just friendly, that summer you turned eighteen and wore that sundress to the bonfire, the fabric fluttering in the breeze; the way heâd excused himself early, locked in the bathroom downstairs, hand around his cock imagining it was you.
Or college last year, when you sent a selfie in a new outfit and heâd saved it, stared at it in the dark until he came with guilt choking him. Small thefts building to this, hoodies, hair ties, now swimsuits. How did I get here? he wonders, tears already pricking at his eyes. When did I become this?
His hand, still trembling from the first release, slides back down, like his body is on autopilot. Between your thighs again, where youâre even wetter now, your body betraying you in sleep, slick pooling from the earlier touches, from his scent blanketing you like a possessive shroud.
The heat is building in you too, he can feel it, the way your inner walls flutter faintly at his proximity, instinct responding to alpha even in dreams. He scoops, fingers dipping shallow at first, collecting the warm, sticky essence that coats you. They come away glistening in the dim light, strands of your arousal stretching between them like liquid silk, sweet and golden like honey.
He stares at his own hand, breath hitching sharp in his throat. The sight is hypnotic, proof of your need, even unconscious, and it breaks something in him. This is real, he thinks. Not a fantasy. Not stolen fabric. You.
âIâm sorry,â he whispers, voice breaking on the words as he lifts his fingers to his mouth, slow and clumsy, like heâs afraid to taste but canât stop himself. The first taste is lightning, sweet, tangy, pure you, like warm honey on his tongue, exploding across his senses.
A broken whine rips from his throat, high and needy, echoing too loud in the quiet room, he clamps his free hand over his mouth to muffle it, eyes squeezing shut. But he doesnât stop. He sucks them deeper, tongue swirling awkwardly, cheeks hollowing as he chases every trace, every drop. âF-Fuck- fuck, you taste like⌠like honey⌠so sweet⌠so good⌠how are you this perfect? Even asleep, youâre dripping for me⌠like⌠like you were made for thisâŚâ
His hips grind forward instinctively, clumsy and desperate, pressing the renewed hardness against your ass. The friction is messy, awkward, his sweatpants bunching, his movements jerky like he doesnât know what heâs doing (because he doesnât).
He pulls his fingers free with a wet pop, stares at them again, clean now, but the flavor lingers on his tongue, addictive and haunting. âIâm a monster,â he mutters, tears pricking hot at his eyes, blurring his vision. âTasting you like this. Stealing it while you sleep. You have no idea- god, if you woke up now⌠saw me like this⌠youâd hate meâŚâ
He dips again, deeper this time, fingers curling just inside, scooping more slick with a clumsy, fumbling motion that makes his own breath hitch. Your body clenches faintly around him, unconscious and soft, a tiny ripple that pulls a guttural, embarrassed groan from deep in his chest.
âS-See that? Even dreaming, youâre gripping me⌠pulling me in⌠like you know itâs me⌠like your body wants me to⌠toâŚâ He shoves the fingers back into his mouth, sucking harder, sloppier now, the wet sounds obscene in the silence, echoing off the slanted walls. His free hand fists the sheet beside you, knuckles straining white, nails digging into the fabric like it can anchor him.
âBeen perving on you for years⌠that red swimsuit summer- f-fuck, it rode up every time you moved⌠showed everything⌠jerked off in the shower thinking about peeling it off you⌠tasting you then⌠stole your bottoms today, you know that? Locked myself in the bathroom, buried my face in them like a dog in heat⌠came so hard I saw stars, whispering your name⌠and now- now Iâm here, licking your slick off my fingers, rutting against you like I canât control myself⌠because I canât⌠Iâm disgusting, baby⌠so sorry- love you-hate myself- canât stop- been holding back forever, but the rut⌠itâs breaking meâŚâ
Memories surface, adding depth to the spiral: the time in high school when you cried on his shoulder after a bad date, and heâd held you too tight, inhaling your scent until he was dizzy; the college care package you sent with a note that smelled like your perfume, and heâd kept it under his pillow for weeks. Small sins building to this avalanche. âYou think Iâm the good guy,â he chokes out around his fingers. âThe best friend who protects you. But Iâm not. Iâm this. Always have been.â
His hips rut faster, grinding in earnest now, the earlier mess making everything slick and hot, friction building to a fever pitch that makes his vision tunnel.
Tears spill over, tracking down his cheeks as he licks his fingers clean one last time, savoring the taste like itâs his last meal, like tomorrow everything ends. âYouâd hate me. Wake up and see the creep Iâve always been, the way Iâve watched you, wanted you. But f-fuck- fuck, I need you. Love you so much itâs killing me. Thatâs why, thatâs why Iâm like this. Need to be closer. Need to taste- need to have every part of you before you find out and leave.â
He comes again, sudden and shattering, hips slamming forward with a strangled, sobbing cry muffled into the crook of your neck, teeth grazing your skin but not biting.
Hot pulses flood his pants anew, body convulsing in waves, every muscle locking tight as the release rips through him like wildfire. He shakes like heâs breaking apart, sobs wracking his frame, tears soaking into your hair and the pillow beneath.
When the aftershocks finally go, leaving him hollowed out and trembling, he slumps heavy against you, panting harsh and broken. The guilt crashes in full force now, unfiltered by the rutâs haze, ugly, clawing, leaving him raw and exposed.
âOh god,â he sobs quietly, face buried in your hair, inhaling the clean shampoo scent mixed with your heat like itâs a lifeline. âWhat did I do? What the fuck did I just do? Iâm sorry- Iâm so sorry- how do I fix this?â
Carefully, oh so carefully, like handling something sacred and fragile, he shifts just enough to reach for the corner of the blanket. Dips it between your thighs, wiping you clean with gentle, trembling strokes, his touch feather-light, reverent. He smooths your shorts back into place with utmost care, tucks the sheet around you snugly to keep you warm, brushes damp strands of hair from your forehead with feather-light touches, lingering on your cheek like he can wipe away his sins. His tears fall freely now, silent and hot, dripping onto your shoulder, soaking into the fabric of your tank.
âIâm gonna tell you,â he whispers into your hair, voice thick and wrecked, nose pressed to the spot he scented earlier, the skin still warm and marked by his earlier licks.
âTomorrow. First thing in the morning. Confess everything- the hoodie from college that I never gave back, the swimsuit bottoms I stole today and ruined with my come, the way Iâve wanted you forever, watched you in secret, loved you in ways I shouldnât. This night. All of it- the touching, the tasting, the grinding like a desperate animal. Beg you to forgive me. Or hate me. Kick me out of your life forever. Whatever you need, Iâll take it. I canât keep this secret anymore. Canât keep hurting you like this, pretending Iâm just your friend when Iâm⌠this. Love you too much- too much to lie. Please⌠please donât hate me. But if you do, I deserve it.â
He holds you closer, body curled protectively around yours, as if he can shield you from himself, from the truth waiting in the dawn. The rut simmers low still, a distant hum waiting to reignite with the morning light, but for now, exhaustion pulls at him like an undertow. Sleep creeps in against his will, tears drying stiff on his cheeks, his promises echoing in his mind like fragile vows.
The attic is a furnace of heat and scent, the air so thick it feels like breathing through honey. Bucky had tried to sleep, really tried. Heâd even drifted off for a little while, exhaustion finally pulling him under after the first round of guilt and need burned itself out. But now heâs awake again, jolted back by the insistent, aching throb between his legs, cock hard and heavy against your ass, leaking steadily through the ruined fabric of his sweatpants. His cock is pulsing with every heartbeat, refusing to let him rest.
His arm is still locked around your waist, fingers splayed across your stomach like heâs afraid youâll disappear if he lets go, even in sleep. Every shallow breath you take drags more of your blooming heat into his lungs until heâs dizzy with it all over again. He shifts just slightly, trying to ease the pressure, but the movement only makes him groan low in his throat, hips rocking forward on instinct, pressing himself tighter against you.
He still feels like a monster.
But the rut doesnât care about guilt. It only cares about claim.
His hand trembles as it slides down again, hooking the waistband of your sleep shorts with reverent care. He tugs them aside slowly, agonizingly slow so the fabric drags over your hips, cool air kissing newly bared skin. You donât stir. Just sigh, soft and trusting, shifting closer like your body knows exactly whoâs touching you even in sleep. The shorts catch briefly on the curve of your ass; he freezes, heart slamming, fumbles them lower until theyâre bunched at your thighs.
He stares for a long moment, breath hitching at the sight of you: soft, bare, glistening in the moonlight from earlier touches and the steady leak of your heat. His mouth waters. His cock jerks against his stomach.
âIâm sorry,â he breathes, voice cracking as he lines himself up. The tip nudges your entrance, slick, hot, ready. Heâs shaking so badly the head slips once, twice, smearing wetness along your folds. A broken whine tears from his throat, high, helpless, muffled against your shoulder. âIâm so sorry⌠I canât stop⌠canât-â
He presses forward, inch by torturous inch, slow and clumsy, fumbling like heâs never done this before (because he hasnât). Your virgin pussy resists, tight, so impossibly tight, clenching instinctively against the intrusion, pushing back like it doesnât know whether to let him in or keep him out. He gasps, hips stuttering, tears already welling up again.
âF-Fuck- baby, youâre so⌠so tightâŚâ he whimpers, voice small and shaking, almost baby-like in its desperation. âIâm sorry⌠Iâm trying to be gentle⌠I donât wanna hurt you⌠youâre so warm⌠so fucking warm⌠feels like coming home⌠Iâm disgusting⌠shouldnât be doing this⌠shouldnât be taking you while you sleepâŚâ
He pauses, breathing hard against your neck, tears dripping onto your shoulder. His tip is barely inside, your walls fluttering and squeezing, resisting every tiny push. He sniffles, voice cracking even more.
âCâmon, sweet girl⌠itâs just me⌠you know me, baby⌠itâs Bucky⌠just Bucky⌠open up for me, honey⌠please⌠let me in⌠Iâll be so gentle⌠promise⌠youâre so tight⌠so perfect⌠like you were waiting for meâŚâ
He rocks forward again, tiny, careful little movements, coaxing, pleading with your body like itâs a shy thing heâs trying to befriend. Your walls flutter, then slowly, sweetly, start to soften, parting just enough, letting him sink another inch. He whimpers, high and relieved.
âThere you go⌠good girl⌠thatâs it⌠just like that⌠you know me⌠you trust me⌠let Bucky in, baby⌠pleaseâŚâ
Another slow push, your pussy yields a little more, gripping him so tight he has to bite his lip to keep from crying out. Tears stream down his face now, mixing guilt and awe and overwhelming love.
âSo good⌠so sweet⌠like honey⌠fuck, youâre letting me in⌠youâre so tight⌠so warm⌠feels like home⌠Iâm sorry⌠I love you⌠love you so muchâŚâ
He bottoms out, hips flush against your ass, buried to the hilt and nearly blacks out from the sensation. Youâre molten around him, slick dripping down his balls, every tiny shift of your body gripping him like velvet. He stays still for a long moment, panting against your neck, trying to breathe through the overwhelming fullness, the guilt clawing at his chest like talons.
Then he moves.
Slow. Clumsy. Deep, dragging strokes that pull whimpers from his own throat with every pass. Heâs whining, high, pathetic little sounds he canât swallow back as he fucks into you with careful, fumbling thrusts, like heâs worshiping something holy and terrified of breaking it.
âCanât stop,â he whispers, voice wrecked and whiny. âCanât- fuck- canât stop. You feel too good. Too right. Iâm sorry⌠Iâm so fucking sorry⌠been wanting this for years⌠watching you, stealing pieces of you⌠hoodie, swimsuit, now this⌠Iâm disgusting⌠pervy little creep⌠but youâre mine⌠feel like mineâŚâ
He angles his hips, awkward at first, fumbling, grinding deeper, the head of his cock dragging against that spot inside you that makes your body flutter even in sleep. A soft, unconscious moan slips from your lips. He freezes, terror and lust warring in his chest then groans when you clench around him again, instinctive and needy.
âSee that?â he mumbles, voice cracking. âEven dreaming youâre pulling me in⌠like you want it⌠want me⌠fuck, Iâm gonna knot you⌠gonna lock inside⌠fill you up⌠mark you as mine⌠Iâm disgusting⌠shouldnât⌠but I need- need it so badâŚâ
The knot begins to swell at the base, thickening with every clumsy thrust, catching at your entrance on the out-stroke, stretching you wider. Heâs whining louder now, high, desperate little sounds he canât swallow back, hips stuttering as the pressure builds to something unbearable.
âGonna knot you,â he gasps against your ear, tears falling faster, soaking your hair and shoulder. âGonna lock inside⌠fill you up⌠make you mine⌠Iâm disgusting⌠shouldnât⌠but I canât stop⌠love you⌠love you so much it hurts⌠need you to be mineâŚâ
One last deep, clumsy thrust.
The knot catches.
Swells.
Locks.
Hot, pulsing fullness stretching you open as it seals inside, tying you together. A broken sob rips from him, half relief, half shame as the first thick spurt of come floods you, wave after wave, so much it leaks out around where youâre stretched tight around him. His whole body convulses, hips jerking in tiny, helpless pulses as he empties inside you, tears streaming freely down his face.
And thatâs when your eyes flutter open.
A soft, dazed sound slips from your lips, half moan, half sigh as awareness returns in hazy pieces: the overwhelming fullness deep inside, the heat of his body wrapped around yours, the rhythmic pulsing of his knot, the wet mess between your thighs, his tears on your skin, the broken way heâs clinging to you.
Your gaze finds his in the moonlight, wide, sleepy, pupils blown with lingering heat-drunk haze, no shock, just soft, instinct-led trust.
âBuckyâŚ?â
He freezes, entire body locking up, knot throbbing helplessly inside you, tears still streaming down his face, voice shattered when he finally speaks.
âIâm sorry,â he chokes out, barely audible, shaking so hard the knot tugs inside you. âIâm so fucking sorry- I couldnât- I shouldnât have- please donât hate me- please- Iâm disgusting- I know Iâm disgusting-â
Your breath hitches, but itâs not fear, itâs need. The heat is still thinking for you, instincts purring in your veins, making everything feel right, warm, necessary.
You reach back slowly, fingers finding the nape of his neck, pulling him closer with sleepy, trusting gentleness.
âShhh,â you whisper, voice thick with sleep and honey-sweet heat. âItâs okay⌠feels so good⌠so full⌠BuckâŚâ
He whimpers, fresh tears soaking your skin as he clings tighter.
You clench around the knot deliberately, slow and sweet, drawing a wrecked, whiny sound from deep in his chest.
âMoreâŚâ you mumble sleepily, voice soft and slurred, pure instinct speaking. âBucky⌠please⌠more⌠feels so warm⌠so right⌠donât stopâŚâ
He buries his face in your neck, shaking harder, sobbing quietly against your skin.
âLove you,â he whispers, over and over, voice raw and broken. âLove you⌠love you⌠thank you⌠Iâm sorry⌠Iâm so sorryâŚâ
You sigh and settle back against him, letting his knot hold you together, mumbling sleepily against his hair.
âMore⌠Buck⌠please⌠feels so full⌠so good⌠keep goingâŚâ
He whimpers again, high, helpless, overwhelmed and rocks gently, tiny movements that make you both sigh in perfect harmony.
Finally crossing the line together, clumsy, guilty, innocent and so in love it hurts.
The knot keeps you locked together for what feels like an eternity, throbbing, pulsing, a steady heartbeat buried deep inside you that matches the frantic, unsteady rhythm of his against your back. The attic has grown still, the earlier frenzy burned down to embers. Outside, the lake laps softly at the shore, a distant, soothing metronome.
Inside, thereâs only the quiet rasp of your breathing, the occasional creak of the old pull-out couch beneath your combined weight, and the faint rustle of sheets whenever one of you shifts. Moonlight has slid across the slanted ceiling, painting long silver stripes over the rumpled quilt and your tangled limbs, his arm banded low across your stomach, your legs entwined with his, bodies fitted together like pieces that have finally found their match.
Buckyâs face is still buried in the crook of your neck, nose pressed to the spot just over your scent gland, breathing you in like heâs afraid the scent will disappear if he stops. His tears dried long ago into faint salt tracks on your skin, but he hasnât let go.
Not even an inch.
His breathing is ragged, uneven, aftershocks still rolling through him, guilt and awe warring in his chest like twin storms. Heâs trembling harder now, not just from the bond or the knot, but from something deeper, something primal starting to uncoil inside him, raw and hungry, the alpha side heâs never let out before clawing its way up. It makes his fingers twitch against your skin, makes his hips give tiny, helpless rocks even though heâs trying so hard to stay still.
Youâre both shaking a little: him from the raw vulnerability of what heâs done and the overwhelming relief that you havenât pulled away; you from the lingering fullness, the slow, hazy return to reality after everything that just happened. Youâre still so sweet, so pure, like warm honey in his arms, even after the mess, the tears, the guilt. Your scent is everywhere, soft, golden, comforting and itâs making that new, primal thing inside him growl quietly, wanting to claim, to keep, to never let go.
You clench around the knot once, instinctive, testing the connection and he whines, high and broken, hips jerking involuntarily, tugging the knot tighter inside you. His fingers dig into your hip, not hard, just desperate, like heâs afraid heâll float away if he doesnât hold on.
âF-Fuck- baby, donât-â His voice cracks, raw and wrecked, still so awkward. âDonât do that unless you want me to⌠to lose it again⌠Iâm already- god, Iâm barely holding on⌠Iâve never⌠never felt anything like thisâŚâ
You smile into the dark, small and sleepy, voice still thick with the afterglow, sweet like you always are. âMaybe I do.â
He exhales a shaky laugh against your throat, the sound half sob, half wonder, still so boyish, so unsure. âYouâre gonna kill me. Swear to god, youâre gonna kill me and Iâll die happy⌠Iâve never⌠never even kissed anyone properly before tonight⌠and now⌠now Iâm inside you⌠knotted⌠bonded⌠I donât even know what Iâm doingâŚâ
Silence settles again, comfortable now, softer than anything that came before. His hand slides up your side in slow, reverent strokes, fingers tracing the curve of your ribs, the dip of your waist, like heâs mapping territory heâs only dreamed of touching. Heâs clumsy about it, fingers trembling, hesitating every few inches like heâs scared heâll do it wrong but so gentle, so careful.
When he speaks again, his voice is quieter, almost hesitant, the words dragged from somewhere deep and carefully guarded.
âDo you remember⌠the summer we were seventeen?â he murmurs, lips brushing your neck as he talks, voice cracking a little. âYou had that stupid crush on Jake from the lake house next door. Came crying to me because he kissed some girl at the bonfire instead of you.â
You huff a soft laugh, the sound vibrating through both of you where youâre joined. âI remember. I was so dramatic. Thought the world was ending. Sat on the dock sobbing into my hoodie sleeves like it was the apocalypse.â
âYou were sitting there, knees up, tears everywhere. I sat next to you for hours. Didnât say much. Just⌠let you lean on me.â His thumb brushes slow circles over your hip bone, grounding himself in the feel of you. âThat was the first time I realized I wanted to be the one kissing you. Not Jake. Me. I hated myself for thinking it. You were crying over some idiot and I was imagining pulling you into my lap, wiping your tears, fixing everything with my mouth. Thought I was the worst friend alive for even picturing it.â
Your breath catches. âYou never told me.â
âCouldnât.â He swallows hard, Adamâs apple bobbing against your shoulder. âEvery summer after that⌠every time you fell asleep on my shoulder during movie nights in the living room, every time you hugged me goodbye before you left for college⌠Iâd go home and jerk off thinking about you. Your laugh. The way your hair smelled after swimming, chlorine and sunscreen and something sweet underneath. That red swimsuit you wore, the way it rode up every time you dove in. The way you looked at me sometimes, like maybe you felt it too, like maybe I wasnât crazy. Iâd come so hard Iâd see stars, whispering your name into my pillow like a prayer, then hate myself for days. Thought I was ruining everything. Thought if you ever found out how much I wanted you, youâd never look at me the same.â
Tears prick your eyes now, hot and sudden. âBuckâŚâ
âI was terrified,â he admits, voice barely above a whisper, cracking on the last word. âTerrified of ruining the friendship. You were the only person who ever really saw me, scraped knees, bad moods, nightmares after my dad yelled too loud, all of it and I couldnât lose that. You were safe. You were home. So I buried it. Deep. Stole pieces of you instead, hoodies left on my floor after movie nights, hair ties from your bag, that swimsuit today. Kept them like secrets. Like proof you were mine even if you didnât know it. Like proof I could have you in some small, fucked-up way without breaking everything.â
He presses a trembling kiss to your scent gland, soft, reverent, like heâs apologizing to it too. âIâm still terrified. Even now. Even with my knot inside you⌠with your slick on my tongue⌠with the bond humming between us. Scared youâll wake up fully tomorrow and realize what a creep Iâve been. That youâll see all the times I watched you too long, all the nights I came thinking about you while you slept in the next room, all the ways Iâve taken pieces of you without asking. Scared youâll leave. And I wouldnât even blame you.â
You turn your head just enough to brush your lips against his jaw, tasting salt from his dried tears. âIâm here,â you whisper, voice steady despite the emotion thickening your throat. âIâm not leaving. Iâve been scared too- scared of saying anything, scared of losing you if I did. But Iâm here. I want this. I want you.â
He lets out a shaky breath, relief and longing mixing in his chest. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing the corner of your mouth and tracing your lips like heâs trying to remember them. Heâs clumsy and hesitant, as if heâs afraid he might ruin the moment.
âCan IâŚ?â His voice cracks, barely audible. âCan I bite you? Make it real? Make you mine forever? I need to feel the bond snap. Need to know itâs forever. If youâll let me.â
Your heart stutters. The question hangs between you, heavy, sacred, irreversible. You feel the knot pulse inside you, feel his heartbeat against your back, feel the raw hope and fear in his voice.
You nod slowly, eyes locked on his in the moonlight, tears shimmering in your own.
âYes.â
He inhales sharply, like the word punched the air out of him. His hand moves to the back of your neck, cradling you gently as he tilts your head to the side, fingers shaking, like heâs terrified of hurting you. His lips brush your scent gland, soft, reverent kisses first, then slow drags of his tongue, tasting the salt of your skin, the sweetness of your heat still clinging to you.
âI love you,â he whispers against the spot, voice trembling. âAlways have. Always will. No matter what happens tomorrow. No matter what you decide. I love you.â
He hesitates, nose brushing your skin, breathing shaky. âIs⌠is it gonna hurt?â you ask softly, voice small and nervous, sweet like honey even in your uncertainty. âThe biteâŚ?â
He freezes, eyes wide, suddenly looking so young, so unsure. âI⌠I dunno, baby,â he admits, voice cracking. âIâve never⌠never done this before. I donât wanna hurt you. Youâll tell me if it does, okay? Promise youâll tell me and Iâll stop. I swear.â
You nod, trusting, sweet. âOkay. I trust you.â
He exhales shakily, presses one more soft kiss to your gland, then bites.
Teeth sink in, sharp, claiming, but so careful itâs almost too light at first. He hesitates again, whimpering against your skin, then presses deeper, fumbling, a tiny sob escaping him as he finally sinks in properly. Pain flares bright and hot for a split second, then explodes into white-hot pleasure as the bond snaps fully into place, stronger this time, like a circuit completing, like a key turning all the way in a lock thatâs always belonged to him. The world narrows to the point of contact, to the pulse of his knot inside you, to the way his come keeps filling you in slow, endless waves, to the electric hum of the bond blooming between you, threading through every nerve, every heartbeat.
You come again, soft, rolling, dreamy, clenching around his knot in fluttering pulses that milk him deeper, drawing another broken moan from his throat. Your vision whites out for a moment, pleasure crashing through you in gentle waves, every nerve singing with the new connection, the certainty of him. You feel him everywhere, his heartbeat, his fear, his love, his awe all of it pouring into you through the bond like warm sunlight.
He licks over the freshened mark, slow soothing laps, sealing it with his tongue, his scent, his everything. His hips rock in tiny, helpless movements, riding out the aftershocks with you, knot pulsing in time with your fluttering walls. Heâs whimpering the whole time, soft, needy little sounds, still so cute, still so overwhelmed.
âMine,â he whispers, voice wrecked and reverent, nose pressed to the bite, inhaling deeply like he can draw the bond itself into his lungs.
You reach back, fingers threading through his hair, pulling him closer until his forehead rests against yours.
âYours,â you breathe, voice soft and sure, sweet like honey even now.
He exhales and curls tighter around you, knot still locked, heart hammering against your back in perfect sync with yours.
The attic is quiet again.
But the silence feels different now.
It feels like home.
The knot finally begins to deflate as the first pale light of dawn creeps through the triangular attic window, turning the room soft gray and gold. Itâs slow, agonizingly slow, each pulse weaker than the last until the thick swell eases enough for Bucky to shift without tugging painfully. You both feel it at the same moment: the sudden, slick release of pressure, the warm gush of his come and your slick leaking out around where heâs still half-buried inside you.
You make a soft, surprised sound, half gasp, half sleepy giggle as the fullness recedes. Bucky freezes, breath catching in his throat like heâs afraid to break the spell, but then his face cracks into a shy, lopsided grin.
âEasy,â he murmurs, voice gravel-rough from hours of whispering confessions and love, but now thereâs a goofy lightness in it. âIâve got you. Just⌠breathe, okay?â
He pulls out carefully, wincing when the last of the knot slips free with a wet, obscene sound that makes both of you flush bright red and immediately dissolve into muffled laughter. More come spills out immediately, hot and messy, soaking your thighs, the sheets, the space between you. The scent hits harder now, thick, unmistakable, a cloud of sex and bonding that fills the tiny attic room like smoke.
You both stare at the mess for a heartbeat, wide-eyed, frozen, then at each other.
âShit,â you whisper, cheeks burning so hot youâre sure theyâre glowing.
âYeah,â he agrees, voice small and cracking with embarrassed giggles. âShit. Thatâs⌠thatâs a lot. Like⌠wow. Did we⌠did we do that?â
Bucky moves first, sitting up on his knees like heâs trying to look responsible, reaching for the edge of the quilt to wipe between your thighs with gentle, hesitant swipes. His hands shake a little, careful not to press too hard on tender skin, but he keeps missing spots because heâs laughing too hard under his breath.
âSorry if itâs- uh- cold. Or sticky. Or⌠everything,â he mumbles, cheeks flaming, ears bright red. âIâm trying to be⌠gentlemanly? I think?â
You bite your lip to keep from laughing harder, the absurdity of it all bubbling up like champagne. âItâs fine. Youâre being very⌠thorough. Like a little nurse.â
He glances up, caught, then ducks his head again, ears practically glowing. âJust- donât want you uncomfortable. Youâre probably sore. I was⌠enthusiastic. Oh god, I said that out loud.â
You snort softly, legs parting shyly, watching his face, focused, reverent, still streaked with dried tears from the night before, hair a total disaster from your fingers. âThatâs one word for it. You were⌠very thorough there too.â
He finishes cleaning you as best he can, then wipes himself down, cock still half-hard and glistening, thighs sticky, before tossing the soiled corner of the blanket aside with a dramatic grimace that makes you both giggle again. The sheets are a wreck, stained, rumpled, reeking of you both but he pulls the top quilt over the worst of it, buys you both a few more minutes of denial.
You sit up slowly, wincing at the soreness between your legs, the dull throb in your neck where the bite pulses like a second heartbeat. The fresh mark is raised, red, already scabbing at the edges, his claim, permanent now. Buckyâs eyes flick to it, then away, but this time thereâs no guilt flash, just a soft dopey smile and a blush that spreads to his chest.
You reach out, fingers brushing his cheek. âHey. Look at me.â
He leans into your touch like a man starved, eyes closing for a second, then opening again with that same silly, lovesick grin. âI did that,â he says, voice small and proud and a little awed. âI⌠I marked you. And you let me.â
âYeah,â you say softly, thumb tracing the line of his jaw. âAnd I wanted it.â
He giggles, high and nervous and so Bucky it makes your heart flip. âYou did. You really did. I kept asking if you were sure and you just kept saying âyes, Bucky... pleaseâ like⌠like I was gonna stop or something. I was so nervous I almost dropped you during it.â
You laugh, soft and happy, leaning forward to bump your forehead against his. âYou didnât drop me. You were perfect. Clumsy, but perfect.â
Downstairs, voices begin to drift up, parents stirring, coffee brewing, the clink of mugs, Beccaâs laugh at something her boyfriend said. Normal morning sounds. Innocent sounds.
Your stomach does a happy little flip instead of dropping.
âTheyâre gonna smell it,â you whisper, but thereâs no panic, just giddy excitement. âThe whole house is gonna reek of- of us. Of sex. Of bonding. Theyâll know. Oh god, theyâll know.â
Buckyâs grin turns mischievous, eyes sparkling. âYeah. They will. And Iâm weirdly okay with it? Like⌠I want them to know youâre mine now. Officially. No more hiding.â
He looks toward the stairs like theyâre an adventure, then back at you, eyes dark, protective but so soft at the same time. âThey donât get to make this weird. Not today. Not when weâre this happy. Youâre mine now. Officially. And Iâm not letting anyone act like itâs something to tease about⌠unless itâs cute teasing. Then maybe.â
Before you can respond, heâs moving, scooping you up in one smooth (but slightly wobbly) motion, arms under your thighs and back, lifting you like you weigh nothing. You yelp softly, then dissolve into giggles, hands flying to his shoulders, legs wrapping around his waist on instinct.
âBuck- what-â
âShh.â He presses a quick, silly kiss to the tip of your nose, making you giggle harder. âIâm carrying you down. No arguments. Youâre sore. And⌠I donât want anyone getting too close to you right now. Not when you smell like me. Like us. Also I just⌠really like carrying you. Itâs fun.â
The possessiveness in his voice is new, low but undercut with such goofy tenderness it makes your heart flip. You wrap your arms around his neck, hiding your face against his shoulder as he carries you to the stairs, both of you giggling like idiots every time he almost trips on a step.
Heâs careful, slow steps, avoiding the creaky third one out of habit but every movement jostles you just enough to remind you of the ache between your legs, the way heâs still leaking out of you a little, slick trailing down your inner thigh. You bury your face deeper, laughing against his neck.
âThis is so embarrassing,â you whisper, but youâre grinning so wide it hurts.
âYouâre cute when youâre embarrassed,â he mutters, lips brushing your temple, voice full of that same lovesick wonder. âAnd Iâm allowed to be a little clingy now. Bonded privileges. Also Iâve wanted to do this forever and now I can and itâs awesome.â
You snort against his neck. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âYeah,â he says proudly. âBut Iâm your ridiculous.â
When you reach the bottom, the kitchen is already alive.
Your mom at the stove, flipping pancakes. Buckyâs dad pouring coffee. Becca and her boyfriend at the table, mid-conversation about some dumb TikTok. All of them freeze the second you appear in the doorway, Bucky carrying you bridal-style, both of you in rumpled sleep clothes, hair wrecked, skin flushed, the air around you heavy with sex and fresh bonding.
The room goes dead silent.
Beccaâs mug stops halfway to her mouth. Your momâs spatula hovers over the pan. Buckyâs dadâs eyebrows climb toward his hairline so high they nearly disappear into his hair.
No one says a word.
They donât have to. The scent is unmistakable, heat, rut, come, bond, all tangled together in a cloud that fills the kitchen like smoke. Everyone knows exactly what happened upstairs. Everyone knows youâre mated now.
But no one speaks. No teasing. No âso⌠how was it?â No sly grins. No congratulations shouted across the room.
They just⌠look away. Polite. Quiet. Letting the moment belong to you two, not turning it into cabin gossip or family ribbing. Becca suddenly becomes very interested in her coffee. Your mom flips a pancake with exaggerated focus. Buckyâs dad clears his throat once, then busies himself with the sugar bowl.
Itâs a kindness, unspoken but clear: we see it. We know. Weâre not ruining this.
Buckyâs grip tightens on you, but heâs grinning like an idiot, cheeks pink, eyes sparkling. He carries you past the table toward the back porch door, glaring over your shoulder at anyone whose gaze lingers even a second too long, but the glare is half-hearted because heâs too blissed-out and giggly to really mean it.
He shoulders the screen door open, steps out onto the porch with you still in his arms. The morning air is cool, lake mist curling over the water, birds calling softly from the pines. Sunlight glints off the ripples, turning everything golden and gentle.
He sets you down gently on the old wooden bench, kneeling in front of you immediately, hands on your knees, eyes level with yours.
The possessive fire dims. Whatâs left is raw, vulnerable Bucky, the boy who sat with you on the dock when you cried, the man who spent years terrified of this exact moment, the one who still canât quite believe youâre letting him stay but now heâs glowing, eyes shining, smile so big itâs almost painful.
âI need to say it properly,â he starts, voice low and rough, but cracking with giggles every few words. âNot in whispers in the dark. Not while Iâm inside you. Right here. Right now. In the daylight, where you can see my face and tell if Iâm lying⌠or if Iâm just a giant dork who canât stop smiling.â
You reach for him, fingers brushing his cheek, thumb catching a lingering tear track but youâre smiling too, wide and silly and so happy it hurts.
âYou already-â
âNo.â He catches your hand, presses it to his lips, kissing each knuckle with exaggerated care, making you laugh. âI need you to hear it. Iâm sorry. For everything. For stealing pieces of you for years, hoodies, hair ties, your swimsuit yesterday. For jerking off to the thought of you when I shouldâve just told you how I felt. For crossing lines last night, even if you said it was okay. For being too scared to say I loved you sooner. For every time I watched you too long, wanted you too much, and hated myself for it. I was a coward. A creep. I donât deserve this- donât deserve you- but Iâm begging anyway. Forgive me. Please. Or donât. But know Iâll spend the rest of my life making it right if you let me. Iâll be better. Iâll be honest. Iâll be yours. Completely. No more hiding.â
Tears shimmer in his eyes again, but heâs still grinning, shaky, real, ridiculous. Heâs shaking just a little like this is the scariest thing heâs ever done, even after last night, but heâs also so happy he can barely sit still.
You slide your hands into his hair, pull him forward until your foreheads touch, noses brushing in that silly, intimate way you used to do as kids when you were making up after a fight.
âIâve wanted you too,â you whisper, voice thick with happy tears. âFor years. Same summers, same movie nights, same goodbyes. I was scared too- scared of losing my best friend if I said anything. Scared you didnât feel it back. Scared Iâd ruin everything by admitting I thought about you when I was alone. That Iâd touch myself thinking about your hands, your laugh, the way you always looked at me like I was the only person in the room. I wanted you too. Always.â
You kiss him pouring everything into it: forgiveness, love, certainty, a little silliness when your noses bump awkwardly and you both huff a laugh against each otherâs mouths.
He melts against you, hands sliding to your waist, holding you like you might vanish. When you pull back, heâs smiling, small, shaky, real, eyes shining with pure, giddy joy.
âMine?â he asks this time, voice soft and hopeful, like a kid asking for the last cookie.
âYours,â you answer, tapping his nose with your finger. âDork.â
He laughs, quiet, relieved, and so full of love it makes your chest ache and stands, pulling you up with him. Wraps an arm around your waist, tucks you against his side like you belong there (because you do).
Together, you step back inside, past the kitchen where everyone still pointedly doesnât look, doesnât speak, just lets you have this. Your mom suddenly remembers she needs more butter. Beccaâs boyfriend becomes fascinated by his phone. Buckyâs dad clears his throat twice and busies himself with the sugar bowl again.
No one ruins the moment.
Itâs yours.
And now everyone knows it, quietly, gently, without a word.
Bucky presses a kiss to your temple as you pass the table, voice low enough for only you to hear.
âThink we can sneak back upstairs for round two after breakfast?â
You elbow him lightly, grinning. âBehave. Or Iâll make you do dishes.â
He groans dramatically. âCruel. Youâre cruel to your mate.â
You laugh and lean into him.
The morning continues.
Normal.
Except itâs not.
Itâs better.
Itâs yours.
And youâre both so blissed-out, so giggly, so stupidly in love that nothing else matters.
One year later, the cabin looks exactly the same, same weathered pine siding kissed by a decade of sun and rain, same creaky porch steps that groan under every footfall, same triangular attic window catching the late-afternoon sun like a golden wink.
But everything feels different. The air tastes sweeter, the lake glitters brighter, the summer heat wraps around you softer now that it no longer carries the sharp edge of unspoken want. The bond between you and Bucky hums quietly beneath your skin like a song you both know by heart, steady, warm, always there.
Youâre officially mated. The silver scar of his bite on your neck has faded to a delicate crescent that he still kisses every morning like itâs brand new, like heâs reminding himself you chose this, chose him.
You wear his old hoodies more often than not, and he wears your hair tie on his wrist like a wedding band he never takes off, faded blue elastic stretched thin from constant wear, a tiny, silly token that makes your heart flip every time you see it.
Heâs changed in the best ways. His hair is longer now, dark waves falling just to his chin, curling slightly at the ends when it dries after the lake, framing his face in that effortlessly sexy way that makes your fingers itch to run through it.
The stubble he started growing last winter has settled into a full, neat beard, thick, dark, and perfectly trimmed, rough against your skin in all the right ways. And his body⌠god. Heâs beefier, broader, more solid, shoulders wider from consistent gym time, arms thicker, chest and back carved with muscle that presses against you like he was built to hold you forever. Heâs not just your Bucky anymore. Heâs a man. Your man. And youâre completely obsessed.
This year the families caravanned up together again, cars loaded with coolers, beach towels, and the usual chaos of overlapping voices.
No one bats an eye when you and Bucky disappear for long âwalksâ that last hours, or when he scoops you up piggyback across the yard just because he can, your laughter trailing behind you both like music.
Theyâve had a full year to get used to it: your mom still gets misty-eyed every time she catches sight of the bite mark and murmurs something about âfinally,â Becca teases you mercilessly about âlocking him down before he could escape,â and Buckyâs dad just grunts approvingly, hands him another beer, and says âgood manâ like itâs the highest praise.
The first full day, everyone heads to the lake like always, same routine, same laughter, same sun-warmed dock. Youâre in the same black two-piece from last year, high-waisted bottoms, simple triangle top, except this time Buckyâs eyes donât dart away in guilt. They linger, dark and hungry and proud, tracing every curve like heâs allowed to look now. Allowed to touch. Allowed to claim.
You dive in first, cutting through the cool water like you own it, the shock of it making you laugh when you surface. Bucky follows, powerful strokes closing the distance fast, hair slicked back dark and dripping, beard glistening with lake water. When you reach the dock, heâs already there, waiting, grinning, water dripping from his lashes and the ends of his hair.
âRace you to the buoy?â you challenge, splashing him lightly, droplets catching the sun like diamonds.
He doesnât answer with words. Just lunges.
You squeal as he catches you around the waist underwater, spinning you until your back presses against the dock pilings. The wood is rough against your spine, but his hands are gentle, sliding up your sides, pinning your wrists above your head with one palm while the other cups your cheek, thumb brushing your bottom lip. His beard scrapes lightly against your skin when he leans in close, rough, delicious friction that makes you shiver.
âCheater,â you breathe, laughing against his mouth.
âWinner,â he corrects, voice low and rough, then kisses you, deep, slow, breathless. Water laps around you both, cool against heated skin, but the kiss is fire. His tongue slides against yours, lazy and possessive in the way heâs perfected over the last year, like heâs reminding you that this is real now. You arch into him, legs wrapping around his waist, feeling him harden against you through his trunks, his body pressing you firmly to the wood.
He breaks the kiss just enough to murmur against your lips, voice husky, âMissed this view last year. You in this suit. Me not allowed to touch. Had to dive under the water like an idiot to hide how hard I was.â
You nip his bottom lip, grinning. âYouâre allowed now.â
His eyes darken, pupils blown wide. âGood thing weâre underwater.â
He kisses you again, harder this time until youâre both gasping, clinging to the dock, the rest of the family too far away to notice (or pretending not to, because theyâve learned). When you finally surface for air, foreheads pressed together, heâs smiling, goofy, boyish, the same smile he gave you when you were kids racing to the buoy, but now itâs edged with something darker, hungrier.
You reach up, fingers threading through his wet hair, tugging lightly. âThis hair is getting ridiculous,â you tease, voice breathy. âYou look like a sexy pirate. And this beardâŚâ You drag your fingertips along his jaw, feeling the rough scrape, scratching lightly through the thick scruff. âGod, I love it. Itâs so scratchy. Iâm gonna have beard burn everywhere and Iâm not even mad.â
He groans low in his throat, hips rocking against you once, helpless, leaning into your touch like a puppy getting pets, eyes fluttering shut, beard pressing harder into your palm as you scratch. âFuck- keep doing that,â he mutters, voice wrecked. âYouâre killing me, honey.â
âI am,â you admit, grinning, scratching your nails gently through his beard again, watching him melt. âMakes you look like a man now. All beefy and grown-up. Iâm obsessed. Youâre so hot itâs unfair.â
His eyes flash and he leans in, beard rasping deliciously against your throat as he nips lightly. âCareful what you wish for. Keep scratching like that and weâre not making it back to the cabin.â
That night, the attic room feels different too.
No more pretending. No more guilt. Just you, him, and the quiet hum of the bond between you.
Youâre already in bed when he climbs the stairs, same old pull-out couch, same faded quilt but this time youâre wearing nothing but his t-shirt, legs bare, hair loose over your shoulders. He stops in the doorway, just looking, eyes soft and awed like he still canât believe this is real after a whole year.
You crook a finger, smiling. âCome here, baby.â
He obeys instantly, kicking the door shut, locking it, crawling over you with that slow, predatory grace heâs learned you love, longer hair falling forward, brushing your cheeks as he leans down. The kiss starts soft, then deepens as he settles between your thighs, already hard and ready against you.
âMissed this room,â he murmurs against your mouth, voice thick. âMissed you in it. Without the guilt. Without the fear.â
You slide your hands under his shirt, tracing scars and muscle, feeling the bond flare bright at every touch. âNo fear tonight. No guilt. Just us.â
He groans softly when you tug the shirt off him, then helps you out of his. Skin on skin. Heat on heat. The bond sings as he flips you onto your stomach, his body caging you from behind. He presses hot, open-mouthed kisses down your spine, beard scraping deliciously against your skin, making you arch and giggle.
âOn your knees, sweetheart,â he rasps, voice rougher now, that primal edge creeping in. âWanna see you like this.â
You obey, heart racing, thighs trembling, pushing up onto your knees, ass in the air. He groans low, hands gripping your hips, thumbs spreading you open. âFuck⌠look at you. So pretty for me.â
He slides in from behind, slow at first, letting you feel every thick inch, then deeper, harder, until heâs buried to the hilt. You moan into the pillow, fingers clutching the sheets. He starts thrusting, deep, steady, powerful, his bigger frame rocking you forward with each snap of his hips.
One hand slides up your back, fingers tangling in your hair, tugging your head back just enough to make you gasp. The other comes down, sharp, playful smack against your ass. You yelp, surprised, then moan, pushing back against him.
âDidnât know you had it in you,â you breathe, voice shaky with pleasure.
He leans over you, beard scraping your shoulder, voice low and filthy in your ear. âBeen holding back for years, baby. Now I donât have to. Youâre mine. Gonna fuck you like Iâve always wanted to.â
Another smack, lighter, teasing, then his hand soothes the sting, kneading the flesh. Youâre dripping around him, clenching hard, and he growls, pace picking up, harder, deeper, hips snapping against your ass with filthy, wet sounds.
âGod- yes- right there,â you whimper, pushing back to meet every thrust. âHarder, Bucky⌠pleaseâŚâ
He obeys, grunting, primal, one hand braced beside your head, the other gripping your hip so hard youâll have marks tomorrow. His beard scrapes your neck as he leans down, biting lightly at your shoulder, not claiming, just possessive.
âFuck- you take me so good,â he rasps. âSo tight⌠so wet⌠all mine.â
You come first, shattering around him, crying out into the pillow, walls fluttering and milking him. He follows seconds later, deep, guttural groan, hips slamming forward one last time as he fills you, knot swelling, locking you together.
He collapses over you, careful not to crush you, both of you panting, sweaty, laughing breathlessly into the sheets.
After the knot eases, he rolls you both to the side, still buried inside, arms wrapped tight around you, nose buried in your hair.
He presses a kiss to the bite mark, gentle, reverent, then nuzzles lower, nosing at your collarbone, your chest, until his lips brush the edge of your breast.
You laugh softly, sleepy. âWhat are you doing?â
âReclaiming every inch,â he murmurs, voice thick with contentment. âGonna mark you everywhere eventually. Gonna make sure you never forget who you belong to.â
You roll your eyes, fond, fingers carding through his hair, then scratching lightly through his beard. He leans into it like a puppy, eyes fluttering shut, low rumble in his chest, beard pressing harder into your palm.
âGod, I really love this beard,â you whisper, scratching again, watching him melt.
He groans, hips rocking lazily against you once. âKeep scratching like that and weâre not sleeping tonight.â
You grin, wicked. âGood. Because I want you again. And again. And again.â
He kisses you, then pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against yours, eyes shining with that same lovesick wonder.
âI love you,â he says softly.
âI love you too Buck,â you answer, brushing a strand of hair from his face.
He laughs, quiet, relieved and so full of love it makes your chest ache and curls tighter around you.
The attic is quiet again.
But this time, itâs full of giggles, teasing, and the promise of forever.
The kitchen is its usual beautiful chaos the morning after, pancakes sizzling on the pan, butter melting into golden pools, coffee brewing with that rich, comforting smell that always means home.
Becca and her boyfriend are already in full debate mode over the last blueberry muffin, forks poised like swords, while sunlight pours through the big windows, turning everything warm and golden. The faint scent of lake water still clings to the air from yesterday, mixing with syrup and bacon in the best way.
You and Bucky wander in hand-in-hand, both freshly showered but still glowing like youâve been dipped in honey and sunlight. His hair is still damp, pushed back messily from his face, a few soft waves curling against his neck. The beard is dark and scruffy, framing that strong jaw perfectly, and his shoulders look even broader in the soft morning light, the plain t-shirt clinging just enough to show how much beefier heâs gotten. He looks like a man whoâs been well-loved and is very pleased about it. Youâre in one of his oversized hoodies, sleeves flopped over your hands, legs bare under sleep shorts, hair still a little tangled from his fingers last night.
The second you step through the doorway, the room doesnât exactly go silent, it just⌠pauses. Like everyone collectively holds their breath for half a second, then decides to be extra nice about it.
Your mom glances up from the stove first. Her eyes flick between you two, land on the fresh bite mark peeking above the hoodie collar, and her whole face melts into the softest, knowing smile. She doesnât say anything, just turns back to the pancakes with a tiny, satisfied hum and starts humming an old tune under her breath.
Buckyâs dad lowers his newspaper slowly, takes one look at the pair of you, Buckyâs arm already around your waist, your head tucked against his shoulder and grunts. âTook you long enough.â
Becca snorts so hard she nearly inhales her muffin. She coughs, eyes watering, then points her fork at you both with zero remorse. âOkay, first of all, loud. Like, loud loud. We all heard you last night. Thin attic floorboards, guys. Thin. Attic. Floorboards. I was trying to watch a movie and it sounded like someone was moving furniture up there. Repeatedly.â
Her boyfriend chokes on his coffee, trying (and failing) to hide a grin behind his mug. He coughs into his elbow, shoulders shaking.
Your face flames instantly. Buckyâs ears go bright red, but he doesnât let go of your hand in fact, he squeezes it tighter, thumb rubbing soothing little circles over your knuckles like heâs trying to calm you both down at once.
Becca keeps going, merciless but playful. âI mean, we were all sitting there like âshould we turn the volume up?â and then it was just⌠âoh Bucky- yes Bucky- oh my god Bucky-ââ She does an exaggerated, breathy impression that makes everyone groan in unison.
âBecca!â you squeak, burying your face in Buckyâs shoulder, mortified but already starting to giggle.
Heâs laughing now, quiet, embarrassed but so happy he canât help it. His free arm slides around your waist, pulling you flush against his side like heâs shielding you (and maybe showing off a little). âWe⌠uh⌠got carried away,â he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand. His beard rasps against your temple when he leans down to whisper, âSorry, honey. Guess we werenât quiet. At all.â
You peek up at him, cheeks still burning, but youâre giggling too. âYou were the loud one,â you whisper back, poking his chest. âAll those growly noises. And the⌠the spanking. I didnât know you had it in you.â
His eyes darken for half a second, before he catches himself and blushes harder. âYou liked it,â he mutters, voice low enough that only you can hear. âDonât lie.â
âI did,â you admit, scratching lightly through his beard again. He leans into it like a big puppy, eyes fluttering shut for a second, a soft, happy rumble vibrating through his chest.
Becca makes a gagging noise. âGross. Youâre both gross. And loud. And gross. But also⌠kinda cute? In a disgusting way.â
Your mom finally turns fully, spatula in hand, eyes twinkling with pure mischief. âSo⌠when can we expect grandpups? Iâm not getting any younger, you know. And after last nightâs⌠enthusiastic performance⌠Iâm thinking it wonât be long.â
Bucky chokes on air. You squeak and hide your face deeper in his hoodie.
âMom!â
Buckyâs dad just chuckles, low and rumbling. âSheâs right. Cabinâs been too quiet. Needs little feet running around again. Maybe a couple of âem, judging by all that racket.â
Becca leans forward, grinning wickedly, but her eyes are soft. âYeah, Buck. You gonna put a pup or three in her this summer? Look at you, long hair, full beard, all beefed up. Youâre basically built for it now. Dad material.â
She pauses, then her voice goes all dreamy and sincere. âI just want a little niece so bad. Iâd braid her hair every morning. Tiny little French braids with ribbons. Teach her how to cannonball off the dock. Dress her up in all my old sundresses. Spoil her rotten. Please? Iâd be the best aunt.â
Buckyâs ears are practically glowing. He clears his throat, arm tightening around you possessively, but thereâs a tiny, shy smile tugging at his lips. âWeâre⌠uh⌠weâre working on it,â he mumbles, then glances at your mom and Becca with a sheepish look. âEventually. When weâre ready.â
Your mom laughs and turns back to the stove. âTake your time. But not too much time. I want to be able to chase them around the yard before my knees give out. And Beccaâs right- sheâd be the most ridiculous aunt. Already planning outfits.â
You bury your face in Buckyâs shoulder again, mortified but laughing so hard your stomach hurts. He presses a kiss to your temple, soft, lingering then whispers against your hair, voice full of that same goofy, lovesick wonder:
âWeâll get there, honey. When weâre ready.â
You nod against him, still giggling, fingers scratching lightly through his beard again. He leans into it like always, eyes half-closing, a happy little rumble vibrating through his chest.
âYeah,â you whisper back. âWhen weâre ready.â
Becca fake-gags again. âYou two are disgusting. And cute. Mostly disgusting. But also⌠hurry up with the baby. I need to practice my braiding skills.â
Bucky just grins, wide, shameless, proud and pulls you even closer, beard rasping softly against your cheek as he nuzzles in.
The kitchen fills with chatter again, normal, loud, loving, full of teasing and warmth and the promise of more family, more noise, more little feet someday.
The attic is quiet now, the kind of soft, golden hush that only comes after a long summer day. Moonlight slants through the triangular window, painting silver stripes across the rumpled quilt and your tangled legs.
Youâre sprawled across Buckyâs chest, cheek pressed to warm skin, listening to the steady thump of his heart under your ear. His hair fans out across the pillow like dark silk, still a little damp from the shower and his beard rasps gently against your fingertips as you trace lazy patterns along his jaw.
Heâs got one thick arm wrapped around your waist, the other hand resting possessively on your hip, thumb rubbing slow, absent circles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt youâre wearing.
You shift a little, propping your chin on his sternum so you can look up at him. Heâs already watching you, eyes soft and half-lidded, that quiet, lovesick smile tugging at his mouth.
Your cheeks warm. You bite your lip, suddenly shy.
âHey,â you murmur, voice barely above a whisper. âUm⌠what if⌠what if we started trying? Like⌠tonight?â
Bucky blinks. Once. Twice. His thumb freezes on your hip. His scent spikes, sharp, protective, hungry.
âTonight?â he echoes, voice cracking just a little, low rumble vibrating through his chest. His eyes search yours, stunned. âYou mean⌠pups? With me?â
You nod, cheeks burning hotter, but you donât look away. âYeah. Iâve been thinking about it a lot lately. About⌠us. A litter of little ones. Running around, maybe with your eyesâŚâ You give a small, nervous laugh, fingers twisting in his hair. âI just⌠I want that with you. If you do.â
He stares at you for a long beat, something raw and stunned flickering across his face. Then his hand slides up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing your skin so gently it makes your chest ache.
âBaby,â he breathes, voice rough with emotion. âYou have no idea how much I want that. How long Iâve wanted it.â
You smile, shy but bright, and lean down to kiss him, soft at first, sweet. But when you pull back, something shifts. His pupils are blown, breathing uneven, and you can feel him starting to harden under you.
The shyness recedes, replaced by a slow, mischievous heat.
You trace a finger down his chest, over the ridges of his abs. âYou know⌠if it happens, my bodyâs gonna change. A lot.â Your voice drops lower, teasing now. âThese are gonna get so full. Heavy. And⌠leaky.â
Buckyâs breath hitches. His grip on your hip tightens.
âJesus,â he mutters, flush creeping up his neck.
You press on, voice turning huskier. âImagine it⌠me sitting in your lap, shirt off, letting you taste. Letting you wrap that beard around my nipple while I ride you slow. Milk dripping down while youâre still inside me, still trying to put a baby in me.â
His jaw drops. Eyes go wide, dark, stunned. âFuck baby- you canât just-â He swallows hard, voice cracking again. âYou start all sweet and shy and then hit me with that?â
You giggle, the sound low and a little wicked now, and grind down once, feeling how hard heâs gotten. âCanât help it. Thinking about you breeding me⌠getting me all swollen and full⌠it makes me so wet.â
He groans, deep and wrecked, hands flying to your hips to hold you still like heâs trying not to lose it. âYouâre gonna kill me. Sweet one second, filthy the next. How am I supposed to survive you?â
You slide down his body slowly, dragging your tongue along the deep lines of his abs, tasting warm skin and faint salt, following the trail lower. When you reach the waistband of his sweats, you nuzzle the thick bulge there, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses over the fabric. You feel him twitch, hear the sharp inhale above you.
âBaby-â His voice is hoarse, hips jerking up just a fraction.
You hum against him, hot breath soaking through, then pull away completely.
Without a word, you roll onto your side, back to him, curling up like youâre ready to sleep. The t-shirt rides up just enough to bare the curve of your hip and the tops of your thighs, quiet invitation, quiet torture.
Silence. Thick. Heavy.
You can practically feel his eyes burning into your back, hear the ragged edge to his breathing.
A beat. Then the mattress dips. His chest presses flush to your spine, arm sliding around your waist, pulling you tight against him. His cock, rock-hard, settles hot against your ass through the sweats.
âYou think you can say all that,â he growls low against your ear, beard scraping your neck, âget me this desperate⌠then just roll over like youâre going to sleep?â
You bite your lip to hide the smile, staying still.
His palm spreads over your stomach, like heâs already picturing it round with his child. âNot happening, sweetheart. You started this fire.â
He rocks forward once, slow, letting you feel every inch. Then his hand slips lower, fingers dipping under the hem of the t-shirt, sliding between your thighs. Youâre soaked, have been since the first shy words left your mouth and he groans when he finds you bare and slick.
âFuck, youâre dripping,â he mutters, voice wrecked. Two thick fingers circle your clit once, twice, then sink inside you slow and deep. You arch back against him with a soft whimper.
âBucky-â
He curls them just right, thumb pressing your clit in lazy circles while his other hand tugs your thigh up and back, opening you for him. âGonna fill you up tonight,â he rasps against your ear. âGonna fuck you slow and deep until it takes. Until youâre carrying my kid.â
The words hit like a spark. You clench around his fingers, moaning softly.
He pulls his hand free just long enough to shove his sweats down, freeing his cock, thick, hot, already leaking at the tip. He notches himself at your entrance, rubbing the head through your folds, coating himself in you.
âTell me you want it,â he breathes, voice trembling with restraint. âTell me you want me to breed you, baby.â
You reach back, threading your fingers through his hair, tugging him closer. âI want it,â you whisper, voice shaking with need. âWant you inside me. Want you to come deep and stay there until Iâm full. Please, Bucky.â
Thatâs all it takes.
He pushes in slow, inch by thick inch until heâs seated to the hilt. You both groan at the stretch, the perfect fit. He stills for a second, forehead pressed to your shoulder, breathing hard like heâs trying to hold himself together.
Then he starts to move.
Slow at first, long, deliberate strokes that drag against every sensitive spot inside you. His arm bands around your waist, holding you flush while his other hand slips between your legs again, rubbing tight circles over your clit.
âGonna keep you like this all night,â he murmurs, voice rough and reverent. âGonna fuck you full. Gonna watch these get heavy for me. Gonna taste you when they start leaking.â
The filthy promise, combined with the deep grind of his hips, snaps something in you. You push back to meet every thrust, soft moans spilling out as the pleasure builds fast and bright.
He picks up the pace, hips snapping harder now, the wet sound of skin on skin filling the quiet attic. His beard rasps against your neck as he mouths at your scent gland, teeth grazing just enough to make you shiver.
âCome for me,â he growls low. âCome on my cock while I fill you up. Gonna give it to you- gonna breed you right now.â
The words tip you over. You clench hard around him, crying out his name as the orgasm crashes through you, waves of heat, pulsing, pulling him deeper. He follows seconds later with a broken groan, burying himself as far as he can and coming hard, hot pulses flooding you, hips stuttering like he canât stop.
He stays buried deep, knot swelling inside you, one hand splayed protectively over your stomach. His lips brush your shoulder in lazy, sated kisses.
âGonna stay like this a while,â he murmurs, voice soft now, wrecked and tender. âGonna make sure it takes.â
You hum, content, threading your fingers with his over your belly. âGood,â you whisper. âBecause Iâm not letting you go. Ever.â
The attic is quiet again.
But now itâs full, full of ragged breaths slowing to calm, full of the warm, sticky promise between your thighs, full of maybe, someday little feet on the porch.
â yours truly, ŃâĎ tdΚξr.
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