Fictober Day 24
Fandom: Dragon Age Rating: E with minor TW: Infertility fear AO3 Word Count: 608 tip your writer?
“I don’t understand.” Diana was crying, heavy tears as she sat on the edge of the healer’s bed. “I, I take good care of myself. Well the best I can being the Inquisitor. This makes no sense.”
“You know this, you know this to be true.” The gaunt faced woman shrugged as she cleansed her hands in the water. “Its your fault and there is nothing that can be done about it. You will have to tear his heart out with the truth before I am forced to do so myself.”
“No!” Diana screamed, sitting up in bed. It was a nightmare. A new one. Cullen had been speaking about children recently and the possibility of having one or two once the war was over. This was the second night in a row she’d had the same type of dream. She’d go to the healer just to make sure everything was well and that things would proceed naturally. Every time she got told she was a barren failure who would be forced to tell Cullen the news and shatter his heart.
Children. He hadn’t given it much thought his whole life but now at the age of thirty-two he was beginning to look at the children playing in the courtyard differently. She’d brought it up, casually at first when she noticed him staring. “I see you enjoy watching the little ones. It’s a shame the war has torn them from family.”
“Ours will face no such thing, if I am to have a say.” He uttered the words so smoothly, without a second thought before he pressed a kiss to her hand. “Back to work, there is much to do yet.” With his usual calmness and even temper he went back to his training and papers. Leaving her to sort through the subtle message and the mess in her mind. His words stuck in her brain and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t knock them free. Every attempt to speak with him on the matter became moot. There was always pressing business with the Inquisition and he was all too consumed in ‘setting things right,’ before they had this chat.
“My dear, are you alright?” Cullen rose to a sit beside her and wrapped his arms around her. “You don’t normally have nightmares.”
“I’m fine.” Diana sighed as she relaxed into him and curled up in bed. “Just hold me, alright?” Shivering she blanketed herself in his arms, thankful for the heat he provided. It was something she’d hidden, from everyone. Her deepest-seated fear. “Spiders,” she’d told him. “I have an ornate fear of spiders.” That was the furthest thing from the truth. Spiders were eerie creatures that possibly carried pathogens but overall, they didn’t bother her. Infertility scared her. Even though she hadn’t decided what she wanted to do, she knew enough that if it was a pressing issue that it was beyond her control. “Trust in the Maker child.” Her mother had said. But the Maker moved in mysterious ways, and that never brought her any peace of mind.
“Diana, if you want to…”
“No, I’m fine. Please, try to go back to sleep.” Lacing her fingers in his, she tried to focus on the constant pulse of his heart. Feeling each thump through her fingers. Timing her breaths, she soon found herself back to sleep. Afterall it was foolish to think of such things when Corypheus was still out there somewhere and at any second Theda itself could fall. Selfish. Foolish. Chastising herself she buried the thought. Sleep, that’s what she needed and perhaps the Maker would handle this when the time came.
