#ff-ask-cattendant

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Well this is new

“Attendant, I would like to pet it.”

“I’m not fetching your arm out of its mouth.”

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Could you do some brownie headcanons please thank you!

Of course! I’m assuming you mean the one specific Brownie who we Summon in-game. If not, I’ve also got a post for Brownie Souls as a whole in the works.

But anyway let’s get started!

General Brownie Headcanons!

A strong boy; Brownie may look like a twig, but he’s got arms for days. How else is he able to carry that massive blaster around?

I love the headcanons of Brownie being very cat-like, so I’m rolling with it. He keeps it under wraps a lot of the time, but he does hiss when startled and his hair puffs up in a manner he deems ‘unseemly.’ It’s adorable.

Must. Resist. Laser pointers.

He also purrs. Get him happy and content, and he’ll sound like a motorboat.

Agile.

Even before meeting B-52, he has a decent knowledge of mechanics and engineering. Most of it is self-taught from maintaining his blaster, but what he learned can be easily applied to other things, such as repairing B-52 after an accident.

I don’t pay much attention to canon heights so I like to draw him kinda smol, at least compared to Khala, who is a giant scratching post of a person.

Possibly wears heels.

This man has little to no concept of breaks, he will spend day in and day out either fighting or butler-ing unless you tell him to take some time for himself.

That said, don’t forget to praise his work either. He gets pissy if his efforts go unnoticed for too long. So much so that I wrote about it!

Hobbies include reading, collecting tea blends, and customising his weapons. Please help him find something exciting.

It’s very difficult for him to open up about his own needs, so he needs a close eye kept on him at pretty much all times, otherwise he’s going to hide an injury until it gets much worse or have an emotional overload.

The best ways to calm him down after an outburst is with strawberries and cream; his second favourite food after minestrone.

He’s very cute when he naps; usually curled under a blanket in a warm spot on the couch. Somehow his presence makes it seem like he’s taken up the entire bloody thing though.

Hope you liked these! I’ve got another post about Brownies as a whole in the works too, so stay tuned for that!

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First page of a short comic featuring Khala! I had a lot of fun trying out cell shading and grayscale art.

Ko-Fi

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Headcanons for napoleon's?

French boi!

He wears platform heels and will riot if you bring it up.

His favourite sweet is French Madelines.

For the first few weeks after being Summoned, he’s probably not going to shut up about battling and achieving victory for you. Have fun explaining that that’s not the only thing you do; you’ve also got a restaurant to run.

Hey, at least there’s a good sweet supply!

Regardless of how long it’s been since you Summoned Brownie, Napoleon is going to cry when he finds out that you’ve had his butler all along.

If you don’t know how to use a weapon, he will insist upon teaching you how to shoot, because the last thing he wants is for you to get munched because you don’t know how to defend yourself.

He’s at his calmest when a) teaching and b) preparing for a battle. He takes these things very seriously to the point where he’s almost a different person. It can get a little bit disturbing

Lawful Good all the way.

Has a strict daily routine for when he’s not on the battlefield: rises with the sun, will try to start a sort of boot camp if you don’t stop him. Confiscate any trumpets he gets his hands on, because he will ‘practise’ at the ass-crack of dawn and wake everyone up.

That’s not to say he can’t play the trumpet. In fact, he’s rather good. Perhaps in another life he’d be the leader of a marching band, but as of now, he has no concept of appropriate waking hours.

An excellent chess player, and will let everyone know about it. The only person who’s been able to beat him so far is B-52, and he is salty.

A bit like Brownie, he’s deceptively strong. While he definitely specialises in sharpshooting, he still puts a decent amount of effort into maintaining his physical strength. He’ll be more than happy to help move bags of flour and such around the restaurant for you.

He gives great hugs. Not as great as Tempura, but they definitely help you feel better after a rough day. He also always has sweets on hand, so that’s a bonus.

Sleepwalks. Will either raid the pantry or patrol the restaurant. Don’t sneak up on him in either situation, you’ll either be shot at or punched.

When he gets emotional (in any sense of the word, not just sadness or anger), he speaks a lot of rapid-fire French.

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What are your thoughts on each of the Pasta Platoon squad? First and current impressions of them?

Ah, this is a tough one. Partly because I was absent during a lot of the Pasta Platoon’s events, but I have read up on stuff so here goes. this may be a little incoherent i’m sorry

Spaghetti

First Impression: Bastard. Fuck u. I will eat your fork in front of your very eyes as you cry.

Current Impression: So, you’re still a bastard, but you’re a bastard who needs a hug. And a whack on the head. Still not letting you near Bifty.

But in all seriousness, Spaghetti was a major antagonist for me when I started really liking B-52. When i first started playing the game, I wasn’t really aware of just how in-depth all the backstories were, and all I really knew about him besides bits and pieces from others and B’s backstory did not leave a good impression. Not to mention his voice lines make him a major dick.

Now that I’ve read his backstory and other stuff relating to him, he’s actually a really cool character to write and read about. I think it’s pretty difficult to make a villain sympathetic whilst also maintaining his threat level as an antagonist, and somehow, a game about personified food has managed to achieve that (with a few stumbling points here and there but I digress). He strikes me as a redeemable character, but not without an intense amount of struggle behind said redemption. A lot of his actions are largely his own choices, it will take a lot of work for him to be considered a ‘good person’ again.

Borscht

First Impression: ???? a Vodka-Spaghetti fusion??? Spag’s sister????????

Yeah, I had no idea who Borscht was for a good while. Turns out she’s basically 90% of Spaghetti’s impulse control. Still not 100% sure on how I feel about her, but I get the feeling that if Spagoodle were to start a redemption arc, it would be because of her influence. As of now, she’s incredibly passive to a lot of shit, so the verdict is still undecided. Cool character, though. Lovely voice too.

Oyster

First Impression: Uuuuh??? Uuuuhh?? How much have I missed??? How many URs does that make it now??? He looks angery.

Current Impression: I really, really like him, especially after discussing how deep in the uncanny valley he can get with @stardomyx and co. He’s got an interesting character to him and I’m kinda salty at myself bc I missed his event. At the moment he strikes me as a rather lonely kid with a rather poor role model. Spaghetti may try his best, but he’s got so many of his own issues at the moment that he maybe should sort out before he tries to parent anyone. But Oyster seems… sensible if a little naive, so fingers crossed he figures out that Spaghetti is Not Great and in a Bad Place at the moment, and he probably shouldn’t follow him so far down that rabbit hole.

Stargazey Pie

First Impression: Not what I expected from a dish that stares back at you as it you eat it. Also is that blood on her axe??? Child!? Entitled much?

Current Impression: I’ve read her backstory. OUCH. Stargazey Pie is what happens when you never tell a child no, and then go give her an axe and full reign over an entire damn country. Her MA made so many bad choices in what was essentially her role as a parent to this Soul, who might I remind you, is a child. Throughout her entire backstory, she is absolutely clueless as to the full weight of her actions, and that… makes me really sad?! And she’s punished with death for it! Her MA’s family was willing to murder a child, which… I don’t know if that says more about what they’re willing to do to children, or what they think of Food Souls. I don’t think I want to know.

Star’s backstory is absolutely heartbreaking in my opinion. No one taught her right from wrong, and she got hurt for it. It doesn’t excuse how many people she hurt, but it’s still really rough to think about. The fact that she doesn’t remember any of it either is also a sore spot. And a hook for potential future chaos. Imagine how many people would be able to take advantage of Spaghetti because of that point, or Star herself.

All in all: She’s got potential as a character. I’m excited to see what happens next!

Black Pudding

First Impression: Blood magic murder nurse??? Uuuh…

Current Impression: Still need to read her backstory properly, but she seems interesting. Apparently she’s unrepentantly evil for no reason, which, with all the sympathetic villains atm, is a cool change of pace. No real opinion besides that though.

Margarita

First and Current Impression: I know next to nothing about her. Art looks cool though.

Surströmming

First Impression: Pretty mermaid! Is she in a wedding dress?

Current Impression: Cool! Not too sure exactly what her deal is with the killing though. Is it intentional? Does she feel bad about it? I may need to re-read her backstory, but for now, she’s got uncanny valley potential, which I live for.

Aaand I think that’s it. Overall, the group is a Mess, and they need to get their shit together, Spaghetti especially. There’s a lot to work with when it comes to writing and I am very, very excited to get into that.

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Practising expressions and poses by drawing angst. Tomorrow I’ll start work on requests, which I’m still taking btw.

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For some reason, Brownie acts more like a cat than Khala does, especially when he finds himself feeling super fucking bored to the point where he goes into a bit of a daze and forgets himself a bit.

One day whilst Khala was out scoping the local market for some ingredients they received a message from Pudding which consisted of a picture of Brownie standing on a napkin captioned “he’s been trying to fit both feet for the past ten minutes. Master Attendant is this normal??”

It happens more than once, and B-52 has been caught trying to do the same so he wouldn’t feel awkward. Khala nearly laughs up a lung and they’re fairly certain their heart is also goo at this point.

They both like boxes though. If they fits they sits

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Hey guys shout at me about what you think some B-52 variants would look like!

Ya bitch found the Wikipedia article and was inspired!

Of course I like to think our Bifty is a classic B-52 with no frills attached. I want to make at least one of these variants into little clockwork fire-imps but I’m not sure which. Maybe that could be B-57s. The peppermint schnapps makes them peppy.

Coggs (Ronin’s B-52) is possibly a B-52 with Bomb Bay Doors and a B-52 in the Desert is literally just a Bifty who lives in the desert.