Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn’s attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain’s father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
Pairings: Elucien, Elain x Lucien
Warnings: mentions of sexual assault/rape
THIS FIC’S MASTERIST
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Chapter Eighteen: Daia Honey Blossom
Lord Lucien Vanserra,
We are writing to implore you to make haste in your journey to Autumn. We cannot impart any further information on the matters though we must stress the importance of your presence as a Son of Autumn. We understand there may be some confusion of your required attendance due to your exiled status, we can confirm that this has been temporarily rescinded and you will be welcomed in Autumn as any other guest would.
We won’t warn you again.
~Autumn High Regency~
***
Elain had been in a sullen mood all day, that much Lucien was sure. Despite all their talks of moving out Spring and heading to Autumn – a plan which Lucien was still not yet sure he was confident in – Elain was unreachable. Her eyes glazed over and her mind somewhere far, far away.
At that moment she was finishing up in the garden with Nuala, the two of them working in silence as they dug elbow deep into the earth. Lucien was taking a moment to simply watch, during which he was trying to reassure himself that it was totally not creepy. He just wanted to know that she was safe, even if she couldn’t be okay.
“So, you’re leaving,” Tamlin hummed from behind, the maps they’d been pouring over minutes ago long forgotten.
“I have no choice.”
But he did have a choice on whether or not he brought Elain. Elain, in the Autumn Court – every cell of his body protested. How dare he bring someone so special to such a ruined land, and yet, no one would dare lay a finger on Elain, not when her sister was High Lady of the Night Court. They’d have to keep news of her title renunciation quiet.
“I don’t know why,” Tamlin came and stood next to Lucien at the window, holding out a glass of fae-whiskey, “but I keep waiting for the day where you come back and stay, permanently.”
“I struggle to see that happening any time soon.”
“Oh don’t worry, I know,” Tamlin grinned that same old grin and Lucien was hit with a wave of nostalgia. There was some traitorous part of Lucien that he couldn’t shake, some part that just wished to crawl back to the days when there was a mask on his face. The days when he could bury his head in the sand.
“It’s just a nice dream,” Tamlin continued, “The idea that we could go back to the past instead of just leaving it behind.”
“I’ll always be around to visit.”
“Yes…you and your mate. Mother…who’d have thought this day would ever come.”
Lucien grinned into his glass, “She’s not my mate yet, not officially.”
“Oh screw ‘officially’. She’s your destiny whether she ignores it or not.”
Lucien didn’t want to talk about Elain. He’d much rather talk to Elain, and he really didn’t wish to talk about her to Tamlin.
Ever since leaving the mortal lands, Lucien felt as though he could barely find a moment alone with his mate. It’s funny, before Elain had ever come to Lockhart Manor it seemed that all there was time, and he was drowning in hours upon hours of unencumbered space. Suffocating on all the distance that lay between him and his destiny. And now that she was here, Lucien was suffocating on everything that wasn’t Elain. So many pointless conversations, futile missions, all of it distracting him from his true desires, filling up his precious time, intruding on all the possibilities that lay between him and her.
Just an hour alone. Truly alone. With no talk of the future, present or past. No talk of going to Autumn, her sisters or her ex-fiancé. Just an hour of her, an hour of talking about nothing at all.
“Are you listening?”
Lucien tore his eyes away from the window. “No.”
Tamlin rolled his eyes, “Obviously. I was telling you to be careful in Autumn, and to remember that should you need an escape for any reason you know the pathway between Spring and Autumn – it would do you well to not forget it.”
“Please, that particular path is pretty engraved in my memory.” Images of snapping dogs, white as snow. The vibrance of Autumn fading as they got closer to the border. His brother's blood soaking his shoes.
“I suspected as much,” Tamlin moved back to the desk scattered with maps, promises of new trade routes between Spring and the mortal lands – a possible future that didn’t seem quite real.
Looking at his friend Lucien couldn’t help but momentarily forget all the bitterness that lay between them. Before him, he saw a man who was trying, not trying his hardest or his best, but was trying. He might be completely lost when it came to dealing with the rest of the fae lands but with humans, humans he just might be able to befriend.
“Lucien,” Tamlin snapped him out of his trance.
“Yup.”
Lucien looked up to find stones of emerald glaring back at him, piercing him to his core. “Be careful over there. Trust no one. Watch your back and stay light on your feet.”
Lucien nodded. Normally he would’ve thought the advice unnecessary, but he knew Tamlin meant every word. Then, strangely, Tamlin looked at him one last time and added.
“…and make sure you come home.”
It was all black. An endless void, the only change being the glimmering water that covered the smooth floor, a strange murky black itself.
It took a while before Elain’s eyes seemed to adjust to the vision, at first she thought she was merely looking at nothing, at the space between words, the breath between sentences, but then she saw her. In the distance, so still that at first Elain thought she was a statue of marble, but then she breathed, heaving on air as though it was her first breath in years.
It took a while before Elain’s eyes seemed to adjust to the vision, at first she thought she was merely looking at nothing, at the space between words, the breath between sentences, but then she saw her. In the distance, so still that at first Elain thought she was a statue of marble, but then she breathed, heaving on air as though it was her first breath in years.
Walking towards the girl, water sloshed around her feet, the girl still choking on her breaths. It didn’t take long before they were standing in front of one another, Elain catching the girls eye who peered back at her as though Elain were some kind of reflection.
It was her. The girl from Elain’s previous vision, with her translucent skin and violet hair. Except now she was so skinny, her bones pushing on her skin, threatening to tear through. Elain could see each breath moving through the tendons in her neck, and her eyes were no longer bright and full of colour, but a dull milky shade of white.
“You,” the girl whispered in awe, her eyes two saucers. “You came.”
Elain had nothing to say. She wished she knew her name.
“You’re real,” the young girl continued.
She was just a child, and yet it was clear she was suffering so much. Perhaps that’s what Elain had looked like all those years ago, dressed in rags and having not eaten a good meal in years.
“I’m like you,” the girl continued. “Special.”
“I’m not special,” Elain whispered back.
“Of course you are. We all are.”
Elain tilted her head, “Whose we?”
The girl copied Elain like a reflection, her long matted hair tumbling down one shoulder. “You don’t know yet.” A statement, not a question.
Elain sighed. “There are many things it seems that I do not know.”
“Yet,” the girl corrected, “In time it all will become clear. That’s what I learned, and when I realised the whole truth I was free, I was able to die in peace.”
Elain swallowed her tears. Why did death always seem to haunt the innocent? “Did you get to see your brothers and mother?”
The girl smiled sadly, such a mature expression for someone so young. “No, but that’s okay. They knew I loved them, and that I would’ve done anything to go back to them.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Do you want to hear my discovery? What I learned that meant I could die?”
Elain didn’t. “Okay.”
The girl smiled brightly before puffing out her chest and taking a deep breath, like an actor centre stage, about to begin. “I prophecui na – hen, nin fawn, nin lóth tui.”
The words rang around Elain’s head before battering her in her heart.
“Those words…”
The girl just nodded, still smiling. “I was so proud of myself when I cracked it.”
The pieces were falling together. The unfamiliar tongue, the young girl who was lesser fae, a stranger in the Court, a name turning over and over in Elain’s mind – Daia Honey Blossom. There was only one more question to ask. “What language is that?”
The girl grinned as though Elain had just offered her a slice of cake. “Clesstrati, of course…. I prophecui na – hen, nin fawn, nin lóth tui. I prophecui na – hen, nin fawn, nin lóth tui. I prophecui na – hen…”
The little girl sang the song as though it was a children’s song, turning so that her pale dress fanned out around her. She continued like that, melting in on herself like a candle until she was pooling across the floor, her white dress iridescent against the black water.
***
“Elain.”
“Elain.”
“Elain.”
Wherever Elain was, she was cold. But there were those warm, broad hands on her shoulders that were shaking her, trying to wake her up. It was him. Elain knew by now that it would always be him pulling her from that darkness.
Opening her eyes she found herself sitting on the floor of Lucien’s bathroom. Her legs sticking out from under her dress, the cool linoleum of the bath against her back.
“Another vision?” Lucien was concerned, kneeling beside her in a way that meant his hair tumbled free down his shoulder. Elain wanted to run her hands through it. She only nodded, tired from what she had seen.
Standing Lucien temporarily left her side to fill a glass with water. She almost protested.
“How many visions have you had recently?” He held the glass out towards her.
Elain didn’t respond, using the water as an excuse for her silence. The truth was she couldn’t remember, and that scared her.
“I know about the seer from Spring,” she offered instead.
“I asked Tamlin about that. He says the seer from Spring was a woman by the name of Daia Honey Blossom.”
“Not a woman,” was all she could say.
His brows furrowed. “Pardon?”
“Daia wasn’t a woman. She was a girl. A child.” Elain was up and moving, now more frantic after her vision. “I found her notebook when you were away, she just visited me in my vision.”
“Pardon?” Lucien repeated.
“There’s something important about that sentence, something that is paramount to whatever it is that’s going on. We need to get to Day Court; I need to look at those scrolls on Clesstrati.”
“Slow down,” Lucien implored, but Elain was up and moving now, pacing into the room with haste.
“I say we go to Autumn do whatever it is that is needed of us there and then go straight to Day, but we can’t dither anymore, I promised Vassa that I would return to her soon with good news.”
“Stop thinking about Vassa for two seconds,” Lucien sighed, and Elain felt a spark of anger ignite within. Did he not understand what they were onto? The scale of this discovery? They were so close; Elain could practically taste it.
Elain spun to her mate, her hands balling into fists at her sides. “I need to help her.”
“You need to help yourself.” Lucien looked semi-feral as he hissed at her. The sternness in his voice a stone to the head, blowing away the storm inside of her in one go.
It seemed now that she could see the world clearly, that the residual murkiness from the vision had finally evaporated. Now she could see, she could see that look on Lucien’s face in full.
She hated it. Hated the way he was looking at her.
“Please don’t look at me like that.”
Lucien didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. “Like what?”
“Like you pity me. I don’t want your pity.” Elain was whispering now, the quiet words filling the empty void around them, the silence only found in a desolated court.
That silence continued from her mate, and then, “I don’t pity you, Elain.”
“I struggle to believe that.” Elain sniffed. “Everyone does. That’s all anyone sees me as, this pathetic little girl, a whiny needy bitch-”
Lucien’s hands shot out, and now he was gripping onto Elain’s wrists as though he were drowning.
The movement stunned Elain but Lucien seemed unfazed by the sudden touch. All of a sudden Elain remembered that this touch paled in comparison to what they had done by the riverside only a week ago. That’s another terrible thing about her, the fact she was an uncaring slut-
“Stop,” Lucien gritted out.
Elain stared at him. “What?”
“Just stop,” her mate continued, something dark swirling in his gaze. “I can – hear – everything you’re thinking.”
Elain could only stare at him as he stared back. Great, now he was mad at her. Was he going to leave again? Leave as Feyre and Nesta had done? No, they didn’t leave, Elain pushed them away because she was a fool. A ridiculous, stupid fool-
Lucien was shaking his head.
“Mother, Elain, I’m not angry at you.” His voice was softer now, and so was his grip on her wrists. “I don’t know what this life has taught you so far but all of that…it’s wrong, it’s so ridiculously and hilariously wrong.”
Elain took a deep, shuddering breath. “You…you don’t know me.”
Lucien cocked his head, “It seems that no one knows you. Your sisters sure as hell don’t know you, the Inner Circle refuse to see you for what you’re worth. Tell me, Elain, do you know who you are?”
For some reason, his words seemed to light a fire within Elain. It was always like Lucien to do that, to speak without thinking, to never give a damn about the consequences of his words.
“I know who I am,” Elain tried to say sternly, but even she would hear that she sounded like a child.
“It’s okay to not know,” was all Lucien said in response and Elain felt like crying. “You’ve been through so much all of your life, it’s okay to have lost yourself along the way.”
More endless silence as a thousand protests rose on Elain’s tongue, but none of them came to fruition, they faded like evening light, disappearing as their futility became apparent. Here, in this pocket of Autumn in a ruined Court, there was no one but Lucien to hear Elain break down and offer a kernel of truth.
“What am I supposed to do?” She finally asked, “How do I make it better?”
“There is no making it better. This isn’t something that needs to be fixed.” Lucien’s fingers began drawing lazy circles on her inner wrist. “It’s a journey.”
Elain looked down; tan fingers wrapped around pale wrists. Fingertips brushing over her blue veins. Intimacy, at the cost of nothing.
“I don’t want to do this alone.”
Lucien bent low and pressed his lips against each of her palms, like some kind of religious ritual, the image reminded Elain of a priest at an altar.
“I will be there every step of the way.”
Elain wanted to make him promise that he would stay, but there was that look in his eye, the look of a man entirely sure in what he was saying. Besides, Elain knew somehow that her days of being alone were behind her. For now.
“I still can’t quite believe you’re back,” she whispered instead.
“Elain?”
“Yes.”
“I’m never leaving you again.”
Elain shut her eyes and tilted her head back as she felt the tears surge within her. It’d been too long since she’d heard those words, and even longer since she had believed them.
“You’re coming to Autumn with me.” A statement, not a question.
“Yes,” Elain vowed
“Good.” And then he was smiling again, and the sun was letting out one last watery wink before it disappeared till tomorrow. “I knew you’d not be enough of a fool to get in the way of my duty to protect you.”
And despite everything, she laughed a little.
The rest of the evening was spent packing their belongings with Nuala whilst Lucien prepared Elain for Autumn Court. Elain couldn’t even be scared about Autumn, she wasn’t even scared about her family any more, her sisters who now would not speak to her. Not when she was with Lucien and his smile was so bright.
All that evening she could only think of how he talked to her, not about her, but to her. Say what she might about Lucien Vanserra, about his disfunction, his informality and roughness, he was the only one who did not see her for how she might break.
Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn’s attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain’s father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien
Warnings: slight-NSFW
MY MASTERLIST
THIS FIC’S MASTERLIST
AO3
Chapter Twelve: Day Dreams, Night Terrors
The kiss was short – sweet – merely a brush of their lips before Elain pulled back an inch to meet his eye. Lucien was not even sure it had happened. He had felt a pressure on his mouth but the notion that Elain Archeron had just kissed him seemed to go through one ear and out the other.
Surely not. Surely not.
But she was holding onto his shoulders, looking up at him with such an excited concern that he couldn’t help but feel himself give way. Elain had kissed him, and thus finally, some formality broke down between them. Lucien bowed his head and caught her lips before the moment could be ruined by their own stupidity.
He felt the slight intake of breath his mate took before he brushed his lips against her own, pressing into her with a bit more firmness than she had. The arm resting by his side came up to brush against her delicate jaw, his other hand bracing himself on the tree behind her.
After the first brush, he proceeded with a second, then a third. Then, he was pushing his lips against hers in their first, full-bodied kiss. As he did so, he pressed his fingers against her jaw, tilting her head up and back so that he may have fuller access.
Kissing her was thoughtless. It seemed the most natural thing in the world, and as their lips began to move against one another, Lucien had the feeling that he had done this a thousand times before.
Nothing she did was lost on him. The way her hands shyly dragged from his shoulders to his chest, nor how he could feel the heat of her skin through the thin fabric of his shirt. The way she still had to stand some-what on her tiptoes to reach him. Each delicate noise that left her mouth, the fragile gasps to the high hums – he noticed it all.
He could’ve done it forever. He could’ve stayed within this moment till the stars went out one by one and the world was nothing but dust and ash. The warmth spreading through his chest was golden and warm, and felt like the light of a thousand suns and Lucien swore he could feel pure love racing through his veins.
Except in some way, it was stronger than love. It was the feeling of the glory of fate – the feeling of finding a home.
Lucien was just about to take his tongue and taste her when he felt the kiss come to a natural end. Even though he’d never admit it, even after that chaste embrace, he felt as though he needed a break. There was so much emotion raging within him as he reached a peak of happiness he had not experienced in a long time, perhaps ever.
Slowly, torturously, he pulled his lips back as he rested his forehead against hers. In the kiss, their bodies had moved closer together, and he felt her leg slotted between his own, their chests touching as well as their souls.
For a few laboured moments, all that could be heard between them were their heavy, shared breaths. At least until Lucien couldn’t take it any longer and pulling back, he looked at her, as it was his favourite thing to do. His mate kept her eyes closed as she seemed to focus on her breath, her hands having come to gently hold the wrist of the one hand holding her jaw.
She was everything to him. From the first time, he’d laid eyes on her to this moment, to every one in between. She was everything to him, she was his purpose.
His breath. His sword. His home. His heart.
Though this exhilarated him to some degree he was not necessarily scared, for he knew as long as he ventured down this path with her hand in his, it would all make perfect sense.
Finally, Elain opened her eyes and looked at him with curiosity and hope. The timid doe coming to trust the crafty fox.
“Will you still gift me the moon?” Lucien laughed, loud and bright, before quickly lowering his head to catch her lips with his.
“I will bring you every star in the sky,” Lucien murmured against her lips. “And if they do not shine bright enough for you, then I shall kill the Gods themselves for having displeased you.”
He heard Elain’s delicate gasp of breath and continued to kiss her for several more moments, unable to stop himself as he slowly got drunk on the feeling of her touch and the sound of her sighs. Slowly and with remorse, Lucien pulled back a second time, both his hands now against her jaw, holding her to himself.
Elain took several breaths, simply looking at him before she sighed, “I don’t deserve you.”
“Shut up,” Lucien said plainly, lowering his head.
“But-” Elain protested.
“Just shut up.”
This time Lucien bent and pressed his lips against the soft, golden plain of her neck. A small sound escaped his mate, something akin to a whimper and he groaned in response as his body reacted to the sound.
Slowly, so that his mate would feel every touch of his lips, Lucien left a trail of burning kisses downwards to the sweetest, most intimate crook of her neck, where he burrowed his nose and lips. He kissed her there for several moments, feeling her squirm and listening to her whimper before he sucked the skin taut. There was some feral, beastly part of himself that wanted nothing more than to mark her perfect skin, not in a way that hurt, but just enough that he may lay claim to her – that he may mark her as his.
“Lucien-” Elain gasped, her hands burrowing themselves in his hair. Lucien continued, kissing along her shoulder to the strap of her dress.
His instinct was to slowly drop the strap off her shoulder so that it would leave a trail of goosebumps, but he hesitated when he reached the fabric. If Lucien began to undress Elain, in the state they were both in, there would be no stopping them.
“We should stop.” Lucien finally concluded, placing one final kiss on her collarbone before standing straight and yet, not moving away.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Elain flushed, her eyes skirting away from his. A jolt of anger coursed through him. Because she shouldn’t be apologising, and he knew exactly who was to blame for her feeling like she must.
“Don’t apologise, ‘Lainy,” Lucien husked, reaching and taking her hand and bringing her knuckles to his mouth. She turned back and watched him with wide eyes. “I’m only stopping because-” Lucien took her hand and wrapped it around the side of his neck. “-when I have you I want you lain out on silken sheets in a heavily warded room, in which no one can hear the things I’ll do to you, nor the filthy things I say.”
Elain seemed to only stare at him, her beautiful brown eyes wide and alarmed and yet, he could read the excitement there.
“Oh…right…okay…” Elain eventually stuttered, and a beautiful blush began across her cheeks and nose.
Lucien had another urge to kiss her.
“Do you, um, do you want to talk about…” Lucien said, slightly bashfully. Again, he thought of Tamlin poking fun at him at the sight of Lucien tripping on his tongue around a female. It was unheard of, he was the silver-tongued fox, infamous for making others blush and yet there never being a crack in his mask – literally.
“No,” Elain surprised Lucien by shaking her head, “We’ve both said a lot today I think…I think this is just nice for now.” Lucien nodded.
“I’m sorry, by the way. Some of the things I said…”
“Me too…”
They shared another look and Lucien, again, really wanted to kiss her. Though really, that wasn’t a new feeling.
They stood like that for a while, merely just absorbing the moment – the sound of the water gushing in the river, the melodies of the numerous birds, hidden in the trees. The feeling of one another, of the fingers and thumbs brushing strands of hair away from foreheads and skirting along the columns of throats.
It was like existing within a melody, or a beautiful painting. Together, in this moment, they were art – who could blame them for wanting to stay a little while.
Eventually, Lucien stepped back, but not without extending his hand which Elain took immediately. Together, they walked to the lip of the water, their intertwined fingers swinging shyly between them. They were both so elated over the small staple of intimacy and yet, it was unusual and foreign, at least for now.
“We got a little, ahem, distracted but that was some seriously good winnowing.” Lucien smiled down at her, his thumb brushing over the back of her hand.
“Really?” The excitement in her eyes made his heart ache.
“Yes! Of course, it normally takes fae years to accomplish winnowing a few feet but, I assumed you’d be more skilled than most.”
“Really…I…I wouldn’t think anyone thought that of me,” Elain said shyly, looking down at the water where little orange fish were swimming in circles deep below the furious gushing.
“I’ve always thought that of you,” Lucien said in a stern enough voice that no one could mistake his words for anything but the truth. And it was, true, he’d always known of her talent.
He’d always seen her, even when he could not speak to her.
Just then, Elain’s stomach growled loudly, and an adorably mortified expression came onto her features as her free hand slapped over her stomach.
“Oh, my Mother!” She gasped, her cheeks flushing even redder.
Lucien just tilted his head back laughing. The fact Elain still cared about appearing as a Lady even after their rather improper embrace against a tree trunk delighted him to no end.
“Hungry?” Lucien grinned down at her, to which she slapped at his chest playfully.
“Breakfast was a long time ago,” she huffed, though she was still smiling. Suddenly, Lucien remembered something. Turning away from the lip of the water, Lucien looked back to the tree in which they had just been braced against.
“What?” Elain hummed.
“I just want to check something,” Lucien tugged her along. Now that he had her hand in hers, he wasn’t going to dare let go.
After a moment of quiet assessment, Lucien realised he was right. The tree – their tree – bore fruit. They were little round purple baubles, about the size of Elain’s fist. The tree was centuries old, and the lowest fruit was far too far for Elain, but Lucien could reach it no problem.
Reaching up, Lucien plucked two before looking at the fruit in his hand.
“I’m not sure if they’re safe to eat,” he murmured, “I’ll have one first and then, y’know, if I’m still alive it should be okay.” Elain just tipped her head back and laughed.
“Lucien…they’re figs!” Lucien merely glared down at the suspicious fruit. Elain just laughed loudly. “They’re fine, I promise.”
Elain smiled; she took one of the figs out of his hand. She then removed the hand that was holding Lucien’s, he went to complain until she turned and began to slide her hand into his pocket. It was Lucien’s turn for his breath to catch in his throat as her small hand rubbed against his upper thigh. His mouth went dry, and he had absolutely no idea what was happening until she pulled his small knife out of his pocket, the one he’d been using on the apple.
She proceeded to carve into the Fig, cutting it into several pieces. Pocketing the knife, she held out a slice to Lucien. For a moment, Lucien was stunned that she would offer him a piece before feeding herself, and then he was shocked at the fact she was offering him food. Despite his heart galloping into an elevated pace, Lucien knew that Elain’s mind must’ve skipped the whole ‘food means an accepted bond’ fae custom. It was only when Lucien did not immediately take the fruit that Elain’s eyes widened as she realised what she was doing.
“I’d rather not,” Lucien said quickly, with a surprising amount of ease, “Human food is barely tolerable as it is, I can’t imagine their fruit is much better.”
Elain nodded at him, her eyes still on the piece of fruit. And just like that they were once more confronted by the endless complications of their relationship, the weight that had been placed on them before they’d even had a chance to properly introduce themselves.
Lucien shoved it all to the side. He didn’t care. Elain had kissed him today – that was enough to give him enough hope for a lifetime.
“Eat,” he nodded at the fruit. There was something about his mate being hungry that was making his skin itch, it was like an overwhelming urge to go out hunting or something despite there being a warm meal waiting for them the minute they got back.
It was a need to provide and care for, and Lucien didn’t mind it one bit.
He watched as she wrapped her lips around the inner part of the fruit which was pink with yellow seeds. Slowly, she both bit and sucked on the fruit, the flesh coming away easily into her mouth. Lucien swallowed thickly, his body responding eagerly to the sight of her fruit-stained lips.
Elain met his eye instinctively, as though she could hear his thoughts, and he watched as her eyes lapped into a darker shade of brown.
“We should head back,” Lucien husked, in a pained voice.
“Good idea,” she said, dryly.
***
Lucien had winnowed the two of them back to the front door, holding her hand the entire time. It was only when they entered the foyer did Lucien agree to part with her as Elain wished to change her dress before they ate.
After she’d disappeared upstairs he’d stood waiting by the window with a glass of whiskey, trying to not picture Elain pulling off her white dress, nor her getting into the bath and lathering herself in soap and running a damp rag across her skin.
She’d looked better today, he’d decided. Out there in the sun, throwing her hair into a bun as she focused and worked. The sweat making her skin glisten, the heat making her cheeks flush. He’d practically watched as she browned slightly over the course of their lesson, freckles popping up in clusters along her arms.
Gods, she was beautiful.
It seemed to be the most recurring thought in his mind these days. But she truly was the most beautiful creature he’d ever beheld, and she only seemed to grow in splendour. There were times where he wished he were a painter, just so he may be able to capture her essence. When something exists as magnificent as that, sometimes all you want to do is reflect it in your own creations.
Lucien was impatient as he stood, but merely because everything around him now reminded him of her.
Looking out the window he could see the gardens with her Honeysuckle mountains near the stone walls. The breeze made him think of how her hair danced in the wind. The distant birdsong reminded him of her laugh. The warmth of the sun on his skin made him think of her hands, splayed across his chest.
Then there was the kiss.
Gods, that kiss.
He hadn’t been expecting it, to say the least. Whilst he knew that there remained an ocean between them in terms of complications, the waters didn’t look so murky anymore. They were bright and clear, and through the glassy aquamarine, Lucien could see all kinds of thriving life.
The bond was satiated and strangely, silent between his ribs. Where there used to be an agonising, dull tautness was now a feeling of relaxation and comfort. He could still feel the string, leading upwards to where Elain – his mate – was changing, but it seemed to float in the air rather than bind.
Footsteps pushed Lucien to down his whiskey, setting the glass on the windowsill as he turned back to watch his mate enter the room.
Gods, something had changed between them, because she had never looked so impossibly lovely.
The dress was an amethyst cream chiffon that floated around her, making her look as though she had truly descended from the heavens. Her hair was unleashed, slightly wild with the head.
He was right, she was tanner, and there were a few freckles now clustered across her nose. Gods she was…
She was…
“Perfect,” he hadn’t meant to say it, and it truly only came out as a whisper, but Elain’s cheeks flushed a dusty pink as her fingers began to twist together in front of her dress.
Lucien cleared his throat before walking over to their usual dining table, Elain followed close behind and Lucien promptly pulled back a chair for her to sit. Elain gave him a shy, pleased look as she sank into the chair, to which Lucien winked with a smirk as he circled and sat opposite her.
Within seconds food was placed in front of them with a bustle of maids and cooks. Lucien felt Elain watching him as he avidly chatted with several of the maids and even the chef. He’d taken a liking to the residents, and he couldn’t help but feel rather in his element as he smiled and made friendly chat.
Though, he truly wished to only talk to one person and eventually, his patience ran out as he softly sent the maids away and turned to his mate.
“Sorry, I often get carried away with talking,” he said, rather shyly as he dug in.
“No, I…I like it,” her voice was butter and honey, and it was making him melt.
“Well, the skill of having a loose jaw is not always a blessing, at least not in the fae world.” He grinned before tapping his ruined cheek with the handle of his fork. Elain’s brows furrowed slightly, as her eyes drifted across his scar and eye.
Not for the first time, Lucien felt a wave of self-consciousness run over him. It was strange to think that he himself was not yet used to having the scar, given that shortly after he received it, Aramantha had bound that horrid mask to his face.
He guessed he was over it now but, being fae is difficult for this exact reason. As Lucien had only been scared for a small portion of his life and before that he’d had centuries of being known as the most handsome son of Autumn. What he had lacked in martial prospects he had made up for in aesthetic. With his consistently tan skin and healthy, long hair, he’d caught the eye of many fae. Where all his brothers were pale with soft features, Lucien was tall and dark with a large, sharp nose and strong, angled brows.
Before Aramantha or Tamlin, or even Jes, Lucien had often been the talk of the Court. For he had rarely taken lovers, and many wondered what it would take for him to wish to bed you.
Though, after the tragedy of Jes, in his early days as Spring Emissary, he had been going through fae at a pace that some said put Helion to shame. His days of being compared to the High Lord of Day continued into his scarred days and even when he had the mask – but by then, sex was not merely an extension of being the most handsome son of Autumn, but rather Lucien trying to prove to himself that he had not changed.
That he was still…him.
“Do you like it?” Lucien said after a few moments of silence. He was expecting Elain’s eyes to shyly flick away from where they’d been tracing his scar, but instead, she merely tilted her head.
“Liking scars seems a difficult concept,” she merely responded.
“Oh? How so?”
“I do not wish for such an awful thing to have happened to you,” Elain pushed a few things around on her plate, “But, and maybe it’s terrible of me, I can’t deny that I think your scar makes you look indefinitely more handsome.”
That…he was not expecting,
“Oh?” He husked after a second. Elain paused her eating to meet him dead in the eye.
“You look magical,” was all she said, and Lucien felt his heart shudder. “Like everything I shouldn’t want…but everything that I ultimately do….”
A heavy silence fell between them, both of them pausing in their eating as they made eye contact. It was almost as though now that they had kissed, the pre-existing tension was now insufferable.
As Lucien looked at her, the world fell away, and he was utterly consumed by the sight of her. Again, all he could think about were the things he wanted to do with her. Images flooded his mind, of taking her up against the wall, of spreading her on this table. He was aching just to feel her skin against his, to feel her warmth and to hear her sighs. He wanted nothing more than to hike up her endless skirts and find purchase in her folds. The idea of slipping a finger into her had his pants uncomfortably tight.
“Spring?” Elain said, breaking Lucien’s chain of thought and causing his mind to temporarily stutter.
“Spring – oh – spring, yes,” Lucien took a long drink, “I’m leaving to head to Spring, and I’d like for you to join me.”
“I’d love to,” she said without hesitation. Lucien merely grinned at her as he nodded, turning back to his food.
“You’ll like spring, I just know it.”
***
It was a vision, or a dream.
The experience was familiar by this point – the feeling of the world being tangible and yet distant, as though everything were real but you, as the viewer, were merely a ghost. Elain could feel her presence there in the world, taking up a certain kind of space, and yet she felt forgotten by the atoms themselves.
It was a dark room, cold with the overwhelming air of loneliness. Elain could see walls made of wood and stone with windows up high near the ceiling which allowed columns of moonlight to pass through. These bands of silver shadows gave way to very little. There were some general shapes of furniture, wooden chairs and bookshelves, but the large stone columns that ran the length of the room and made everything seem smaller and more complicated.
She was sitting in a rather uncomfortable chair, and before her was a stone pillar that had been cut in half so that it came to her waist. It seemed to be an altar, and two beams of moonlight met from opposite sides of the room to light it up, the stone almost glowing. Upon the rocky surface was a single copper pin which, upon further inspection, Elain recognised as a hairpin.
Footsteps made her jerk with shock, the first sign of life in the seemingly dead building. The steps came from behind and echoed through the empty room, ringing back into her ears. Elain went to turn around but found that her body would not obey her, whether this was due to it being a vision or the fact she had been bound, she could not tell.
The footsteps neared in a slow, torturous pace that was full of cockiness – a person who knew they had power. Elain could only sit and listen as they approached, eyes roving over the room, trying to take in all that she could see.
Eventually, the being came to a stop directly behind her and Elain felt the thrumming magic that came from their presence. The magic’s strength washed over her like a fog, and it felt strangely familiar.
“As I was saying,” the being spoke. The voice was low, deeper than any Elain had heard before, even the Illyrians did not compare.
“The mind, particularly one like yours, is a weapon. It simply begs to be sharped…wielded…” The voice spoke with the casual certainty of an aged teacher. Elain, for some reason, was still focused on the hairpin. It was old, older than her and older than any building she’d ever stepped foot in – she suspected it was even older than Prythian.
“You have no idea what you can do, and it’s so frustrating to see the way peasants of this world have treated you.”
Elain’s mind was running a mile a minute. This could not be a dream then; it must be a vision – an insight of what was to come. But where was she? Who was this person? How did she get here and how would she get out?
“They’ve taught you so many terribly inaccurate things, much of our time together will be spent undoing the poisoned seeds they sowed.” Elain didn’t know who this ‘they’ was that the voice spoke of, but his voice had somehow turned even more deadly and frightening at their mention.
Elain then heard the dragging of wood on stone before there was the clatter of a chair being settled behind her to which she heard the being flop into with a gust of wind – or rather, dust.
It was then that hands came around her and ran from her upper arms down to her hands.
Looking down, Elain saw skin of truest grey with white scars that were reminiscent of lightning covering every inch of exposed skin. The being’s arms were powerful, around three times the size of Elain’s now seemingly dainty, pale hands. The being then wrapped his own hands around hers, his chest pressing into her back. He then tucked his head into the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply.
“Your mind is not broken, Elain,” the being whispered in her ear. His voice now dark, seductive, full of a thousand promises she knew he’d do good on. “I often wonder how you must feel, to go from feeling so worthless to discovering you’re the most valuable being to exist, perhaps ever.” Another deep inhale paused the creature in his speech. “When the world discovers just who you are, there will be people carving themselves up in the streets for a single hair from your head. They will make relics of your clothes. Holidays out of your achievements.”
The hands began to intertwine with hers, grey meeting ivory, twisting like a wreath.
“A part of you has always known.” He was amused, and she felt his lips brush against the shell of her ear. “You knew you there was something so much bigger than any of them running through your blood, that’s why you let them play without you, why you stayed in the gardens where no one could worry. But you’re more powerful than that silly little High Lord of stars and his mutant wife – your sister, of course. The only one who ever came close was that other sister of yours, Lady Death, though she foolishly bargained her gift, she will come to reject that choice, though, you already knew that.”
Elain did. Nesta would never admit to herself, but Elain had seen Nesta glaring at the mirror, wondering how much of a mutant she was to wish she’d kept the flames of ice. Because getting rid of her powers hadn’t gotten rid of the shadow of death that had marred her since birth. In the end, Nesta had run from the darkest part of herself rather than harnessing it.
“I won’t let you make the same mistake.” His voice was abruptly inside her head, a painful invasion, a reminder of what he could do and what he could take. His hands unentwined from her own and those long fingers wrapped themselves around her wrists. Elain only watched as his large, grey hands formed perfect cuffs around her now dainty wrists, and he squeezed with a threatening promise. She was manacled.
Elain went to beg him to stop but then the rush of power hit and she felt her head loll against his shoulder, her mouth parting as a wanton moan tore from her lips. The magic was ecstasy, a pure rush of power and possibility. Elain could feel it courses through her blood, pounding around her body turning her skin alive and electric – just like he had.
The thought of him caused Elain to struggle against the magic but the figure only tightened his grip. Elain could taste his annoyance in the air.
“What is it you want?” It was the first thing she’d said, and to Elain’s surprise, her voice was steady, calm, entirely satiated. The magic continued to course through her, lighting her up from within. It was beautiful, and it was so, so cursed.
The being’s lips returned to her ear, and she felt his tongue once more trace the shape, as though he were trying to memorise her. He stiffened behind her, his entire figure turning rigid as his grip on her wrists turned excruciating.
“I want him dead.” The voice was deadly, cruel, otherworldly – familiar.
Pain exploded within her in the form of black fire.
***
Elain lurched awake, her hands slamming into her chest as she tried to extinguish the fire within. It took several moments of her thrashing in her vacant sheets before she realised that it had not been real – or, at least not tangible.
The black fire she had felt was phantom, a ghost of pain that had brushed through her body via her mind. That…had not felt like a vision. Or, perhaps, she merely not understand the capacity of her powers.
It had felt so real. She had been there, in that dark room looking at that hairpin as that being had taunted her. It had not felt so much of a vision as an invasion. It had felt as though someone had poured something foreign into her brain and she’d temporarily been infected.
Elain shuddered and was up and out of bed before she could think of somewhere to go or something to do. There was a whispering in her mind, a murmuring of a name that she dare not think, and she strongly wished for silence.
But, as it so often did, her mind betrayed her as she went back to the ‘vision’. She hadn’t been afraid of him – the being with grey, mottled skin – as much as she was afraid of the things he had said. The simple statements of her power to which he believed her to have plenty.
More power than Rhysand, more than Feyre. Then there were the visions of Nesta, regretting her choice, regretting saving Feyre, Rhysand and Nyx and giving up her powers. None of it made sense, none of it worked in the world that she thought she knew.
Shivering, Elain blinked to realise that she’d walked over to her closet and pulled out Lucien’s jacket. It was not the one he had given her last night when he had cocooned her in his riding jacket before carrying her to bed. Instead, his one was a deep green with brown lining. There were seven pockets in total, all of them empty bar the one that had contained several flower heads that had long since dried and turned to dust – they had been yellow carnations. The lining was of silk, not just any silk Elain realised, but Didache, the fabric from Autumn. It was fraying at the seams which told her it had been worn lots, loved much, and yet the owner had not cared enough about the jacket or themself to fix it. There was a distressing along the cuffs in which Elain could imagine worried fingers constantly curling and plucking at the seams.
It was the jacket Elain had been wrapped in after the Cauldron, and it was perhaps her only tether to the world those first few days after. Nothing could get through to her, not the angry screams of her sister or the comforting talks from her brother-in-law. Just this rag of fabric that smelt like a home Elain had never been to.
He’d been with her even then, Elain supposed.
It’s funny, she thought, even when I was completely lost, I always had him.
Tugging the jacket on, Elain was able to return to her sheets and curl up into a ball. Around her hung both the scent of him and her. His jacket having been worn by her on many sleepless nights.
The scent wasn’t just his or hers, it was theirs.
Rolling onto her side Elain took what she had seen and pushed it to the back of her mind, imaging herself locking the thought away in a box and burying it under sand. With every spade, the memory receded until her brain was quiet enough for her to slip soundlessly into sleep.
In this distance, under the moon, a firebird screamed in agony.
Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn's attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain's father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
Pairings: Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanderra, Elucien
Warnings: None
THIS FIC’S MASTERIST
MY MASTERLIST
AO3
Chapter Fourteen: Tamlin
Tamlin wouldn’t stop staring. Whatever Elain did, wherever she went, she felt his eyes like pinpricks digging into her skin. Following her, taunting her – daring her. If she were any less kind she would’ve snapped at him, but she was kind, and she was also smart. If she had caught Tamlin’s attention then perhaps in there lay a crook to be exploited, a way of manipulating the High Lord into the negotiations which had been thus far unsuccessful.
The High Lord in question had dragged the mated pair around the Spring Ground in a rather tired, half-hearted manner, though this seemed to be because he kept getting distracted by the Archeron sister. Elain had found that she couldn’t be interested in the endless flower beds, antique trophy cases, or shredded paintings and hallmarks of neglect when the High Lord’s attention felt so hot.
“We best be shown to our sleeping quarters,” Lucien grunted at some point, stalking lazily around the house that had once been his own – the house he was now being toured around as a guest.
“I thought you’d be at home in your old room, it has been largely left untouched in the damages.” The damages being Tamlin’s claws and beastly behaviour. Lucien coughed a little.
“For me, yes…though Elain will be needing her separate chambers.”
This seemed to be the first thing, besides Elain herself, that seemed to catch Tamlin’s attention. He paused in his step as his sight zoned in on his old friend, his glare enigmatic. Elain’s fingers twitched nervously as the two males appeared in some kind of silent conversation. Tamlin humoured and inquisitive, Lucien guarded and dark. Eventually, the High Lord let out several pearls of rich, handsome laughter.
“Of course, my apologies.” A flicker of something went across Lucien’s features, but he seemed to miraculously bite his tongue. Tamlin proceeded to guide the pair up the stairs before bringing Lucien to a russet door.
“You should know your way from here,” Tamlin grinned in a courtly manner, “If the lady would follow me…”
Elain glanced up at Lucien who was now glaring at Tamlin without restraint. His muscles appeared to be standing on end and, brushing up against the bond, Elain felt the raw protectiveness radiating from him. They were in what Lucien deemed to be dangerous territory and she was under his protection – it was both alarming, and comforting, to feel how much someone wanted her to be safe. Unable to stop herself, Elain reached up and placed a kiss on Lucien’s cheek, snapping his attention to her immediately.
“I’ll come find you…for dinner.”
Lucien’s returning look was fierce and deep, as though his eyes had turned into molten gold, it seemed to melt the world away and for a moment, Elain forgot Tamlin was even there. Lucien’s response was a curt, sharp nod and one last glare at his old friend before he turned and disappeared behind his door.
Elain couldn’t help but stare at the door long after it was shut. Even she couldn’t deny that every inch of her skin was screaming at her to follow him inside, to stay close and keep him in sight. He’d been so worried about her safety, but she was just as worried about him.
“Malady…” Tamlin’s gravelly voice pulled her back to reality and she turned back to the High Lord, now acutely aware of the fact they were alone, together. He’d never truly do anything to harm her, Elain knew that if he did, he would be signing his death sentence. However, that did not stop him from creeping her out, seemingly on purpose.
Tamlin proceeded to guide her deeper and deeper into the home, appearing to pull her down several unnecessary twists and turns till eventually, he came to an abrupt stop in front of a dusty door in which no light could reach at the back of the house.
“This room has been untouched, though, I am sorry it is so far from the rest of the house.”
“It’s quite alright,” Elain managed to slip her courtly smile onto her face with ease.
“Though my room is just down the hall…should you need anything.”
“Oh? It’s quite away from the entry. I would’ve thought the High Lord’s quarters would be more central,” Elain couldn’t stop the words as they fell from her mouth. This corridor was drowning in cobwebs and undisturbed dust which told Elain that there had not been anything living in these quarters for quite some time. Surely if Tamlin’s room were nearby, there would be some evidence of life.
“Ah, you’ve caught me,” Tamlin gave her a smile that looked a borderline grimace, “It’s my current room, given that I tend to…go through them at quite a pace.”
“Oh…”
“Oh indeed,” Tamlin husked, and an involuntary shiver ran the length of Elain’s spine. This didn’t go unnoticed by the beast, though from the way his eyes seemed to darken, he must have misinterpreted its cause entirely. “As I said, my room is right down the hall, should you need anything.”
“Thank you, though I’m sure I already have everything I need for my visit,” Elain said in her most polite, unfeeling voice possible. Reaching for the bond between her ribs, she took an imaginary forefinger and thumb and clamped down on her end. She didn’t need Lucien picking up on her terrified and uncomfortable emotions and doing something entirely stupid.
Not allowing Tamlin another word Elain opened the door and practically jumped inside, making sure to close the door behind her and lean against it. Listening intently over the sound of her racing heart, Elain heard Tamlin waiting for several long moments outside her room and then, if she were not mistaken, he seemed to smell the air, deeply.
Another shiver ran the length of her spine when she realised he was taking note of her scent, marking her down like an animal. After several moments of tense stillness, the beast moved on, his heavy steps disappearing down the corridor before another door swung open and shut.
Sighing heavily, Elain unclamped the bond and peered around her room.
It was a terrible room. There was about an inch of dust that told Elain that even when the Manor was full of life this room did not receive much tending to. Elain could see why. The walls were made of bare wood and the bed was tiny, barely wide enough to fit a child with a thin mattress and metal frame. There were no hallmarks of comfort, no bookshelves or cabinets. Just a bed and a small chest of drawers beside it with two of the five drawers missing. There were no oil lamps or candles, no mirrors, no quilts or thick blankets, only linen sheets strewn over the stained mattress. There wasn’t even a bathroom, just a suspicious chamber pot in the corner. The window was barely a window, more of a small hole cut right underneath the ceiling, too high up for Elain to even see out of, even if she stood on the bed.
There was nothing in this room. No life, no love, no comfort – just like its owners. With a snort of disbelief, Elain realised that she had had more comfort in the shoddy room of their old cottage. At least there she’d had knitted blankets and a bathroom, even Feyre’s little paintings at given some life to the room.
This was a prison cell, a punishment – for what, Elain had no idea.
***
Grovelling a little, Lucien made his way to the old study room, the room which Tamlin and he had spent every evening for the better part of fifty years. After dinner, this is where they’d make their way, to sit in the now destroyed velvet armchairs with glasses of whiskey and a card game or two.
It’s seemed ludicrous to him now, how he had managed so many consecutive nights believing Tamlin to be his truest, closest friend. How things had changed. How they had changed.
It’s seemed ludicrous to him now, how he had managed so many consecutive nights believing Tamlin to be his truest, closest friend. How things had changed. How they had changed.
Throwing himself in a surviving chair Lucien allowed his mask to slip a little as he ran his hands down his face. His life had been so crazy since Feyre walked into these halls. Going under the mountain, finding the Night Court and Velaris, scrying all the lands for a Firebird Queen only to lead her into war.
Everything was crazy and fast-paced but Spring…Spring hurt more than the rest. It was dying, in front of his eyes, the Court he had considered his first true home. Everything that had once been so simple – his friendship with Tamlin, the safety of Spring citizens – were now messily complicated.
Lucien didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to fix this.
“Please tell me you’re not already moping about.” A soft voice echoed from behind him, and despite the oceans of agony raging within him, Lucien couldn’t help but smile.
“Actually, I am, and you’re ruining my theatrics,” Lucien turned to smile at her.
“Oh, sorry,” Elain grinned as she padded into the room and settled in the chair across from him, her eyes roving over the claw marked walls and shredded paintings. “Nuala’s just arrived with some bags that she’s unpacking upstairs.”
“Good,” Lucien nodded before silence settled between them.
“Where’s…” Elain began half-heartedly.
“God knows,” Lucien said with a flash of anger, “His scent leads out into the woods and if I listen I can hear him thundering around out there.”
“Doing what?”
“Good question,” Lucien rested his right ankle on his left knee, “Either he’s catching our dinner or brooding…maybe a bit of both.”
Elain merely hummed non-committedly in response. Maybe it was a good thing Tamlin had left the grounds, if Lucien had learnt anything it was that he and Elain did best when they were alone.
“This is my first time here,” Elain hummed, “It’s strange.”
“How so?”
“I’m not sure…I want to say it’s strange how different life could’ve been if Feyre had never killed your friend, or if Tamlin had taken Nesta or me as payment rather than Feyre…”
“But…”
“But…some part of me knows it’s always supposed to have played out this way. That Feyre coming here was her destiny, as well as everything that happened as a result.”
Lucien looked at his seer mate, drinking her in as he so often did. He did not think it strange that she was perhaps more in touch with the fabric of fate given that the Cauldron had blessed her with a gift only three before in the history of Prythian had possessed.
Looking at his Elain in these halls unsettled Lucien. She was right – how different things could’ve been if she had come over the wall instead of Feyre. The rest of the world would’ve been damned, but Lucien would’ve had a chance to know her whilst she was a human…whilst she was happy.
“Lucien…” Elain eventually whispered, pulling him from his thoughts. “We need to save this place…before we lose it forever.”
“I agree. But…”
“But what?”
“I don’t know…part of me wonders if we can ever save spring while Tamlin remains as High Lord, there’s an argument that it might be better just to start fresh, indite someone new.”
“Who?”
“That’s where my plan falters…” Lucien sighed rubbing the back of his neck. “There are no obvious candidates, and the suggestion that we could just make someone the new High Lord is flawed.”
“How so?”
“Being a High Lord is left up to fate, you don’t get a choice. We can generally guess who will be indited within the blood relation but there have been several surprises – the youngest son or a distant cousin inheriting the title. Either way, we can’t just shove the crown on someone’s head and call it a day…Tamlin would have to be…”
“…killed?” Elain’s eyes widened. Lucien just grimaced, he may have fallen out with his friend, but he didn’t want to see him dead. What a waste that would be.
“No matter what Tamlin has done in the past, I’m not sure there is anyone who truly wants to see him dead.”
“I’m sure Nesta wouldn’t mind.” Lucien grinned.
“Nesta has an alphabetical list of people she wouldn’t mind killing herself…I’m pretty sure I’m on there.” Elain rolled her eyes, smiling.
“You know what I think?” She whispered after a beat of silence.
“What?”
“I think Tamlin just needs to step up,” Elain said as she stood, looking around the ruined room in a way that reminded Lucien of a mother’s gaze. “He needs to accept what happened with Feyre and move on, he needs to pull himself together, accept that he made mistakes and begin to rebuild.”
“I think that’s easier said than done,” Lucien’s eyes followed his mate as she circled the room.
“Well of course it is. These things take time, they take patience and they also-” Elain bent as she pushed a cabinet that was teetering back to the upright position “-take support. Tamlin can rebuild, he can be a High Lord, he has so much potential, he just…can’t do it alone.”
“You understand this is Tamlin who we're talking about?” Lucien stood making his way over the Elain and righting a painting as he passed. “The man who sat by Aramantha as your sister died at her feet.” Seeing Elain flinch made him regret his words, but they were true.
“You don’t need to remind me of what Tamlin has done. I know better than anyone of his sins. He’s partially the reason I got thrown into the Cauldron - if you remember.”
Of course, Lucien remembered, he could never forget.
“So am I,” was all he could say in response, his voice strained and tortured. This was another topic that was unspoken between them - what had truly happened on that night. Lucien had never forgotten her words to him in the House of Wind’s library, just a few months after. How at that time, she knew him only as of the male who was there when she died, standing beside the man she knew to be her sister’s abuser.
“No, Lucien-” Elain began softly.
“Don’t,” Lucien whispered, “Please don’t try and act as though that night was nothing, as though I wasn’t standing on the side of the enemy.”
“No, I…I’m not trying to take that away or ignore it I just…” Lucien eyed his mate as her brows furrowed in thought. “Lucien…there’s not a part of me that doubts for a second that if you knew what was going to happen that night then you would’ve done everything in your power to stop it.”
“I could’ve guessed-”
“Of course you couldn’t have guessed.” Elain practically snapped at him, but with no malice, only steely determination. “What Ianthe did was not your fault. What Hybern did is not your responsibility. There was the most powerful High Lord in History, my Cursebreaker sister, two Caryinthian-tier Illyrian warriors and The Morrigan in the room that night and not even their powers combined was enough to stop me from going under. I don’t want you to take that guilt onto your shoulders, for one you have enough on your plate already and for another, there is simply no need.”
Lucien had decided that he liked seeing Elain away from the rest of her family. For some reason, out here in another court, by herself, she seemed stronger, full of more determination and zest. He would’ve never dreamed that the quiet gardener-Elain would’ve ever spoken to him with such resolve.
“What about in the library…the first time we spoke…” Elain’s eyes glazed over a little as she seemed to try and remember such a conversation. “Do you not remember?” Lucien asked after a beat.
“It’s…hazy…everything in those first few months is. I’m sorry…if I said anything mean.”
“No…you only spoke of the truth…you told me how it was,” Lucien looked out the room at the Spring Sun that was now making a steady yet sure decline towards the horizon. A week. A week they were going to spend here. “It’s the moment when I decided that my allegiance was no longer to Tamlin or even your sister or her husband…my allegiance is to you, and you alone.”
Elain’s breath hitched a little, and if he wasn’t mistaken her eyes seemed to flicker down to his lips for the briefest of moments.
“I didn’t realise…” Elain merely murmured.
“Well, it’s an allegiance that has been thus far performed over distance,” Lucien crinkled his nose, all too aware that he was throwing himself at Elain’s feet after two years of silence.
Elain giggled, her hand coming to press against her lips.
“Are you laughing at me?” Lucien raised his eyebrow playfully. Elain only smiled wider, and Lucien once more felt himself enter a trance in which he was astounded by her beauty.
“I like your smile,” he said after several moments, his eyes softening with the warmth in his chest, “All one of them that I’ve seen.”
“I like my smile too,” Elain said before scrunching up her face, “No! Not like that, I’m not…hang on,” Happiness and amusement bubbled in Lucien’s chest as he observed Elain stumble on her words. “I mean as in, I’ve been smiling less, since the Cauldron and it’s…nice, to be smiling, again.” Elain closed one eye, scrunched up her nose and peered at him.
“You know,” Lucien found himself easing into his cocky courtier’s poise, the one that usually came to naturally to him. “I think that might be the first thing we’ve agreed on.”
In this distance a beast turned back into a man and with a fresh deer hung over his shoulder, he made his way home for dinner.
***
Tag List: @jvwhyte @ladyelain @softfbangts1 @andwhataboutiit @mads39-blog1 @cinnamon-mentos @chloepereyra
A few weeks after Briallyn's attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain's father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
AO3
Chapter One: Moonlight Messages
Sighing, Lucien rocked back onto his knees and ran a hand down his face, only for his hand to come away wet. Touching his cheek again, Lucien smelt the brine of tears in his room. But they weren’t his tears. No, a lady, his lady, was weeping on the other side of the world, hard enough for her tears to roll down his cheeks.
Chapter Two: Interrogations
The soft gold and white colours, the layered skirts and fluttering sleeves. Looking at her as she tucked herself into a small ball on a sofa, a hefty book balanced on her lap, Lucien had wished that he’d met Elain when she was human, when she was happy and content. Maybe then she would just see him for, well, him. Not a reminder of everything terrible that had happened to her.
Chapter Three: Playing House
Lucien was sure he was in a state of shock, his ears were ringing faintly as Elain entered a polite discussion with Jurian who was smiling enough for the both of them. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, convinced that if he even blinked for too long then she’d disappear, back to the Night Court.
Chapter Four: A Little Lost, A Little Found
“Are you peacocking right now?” Elain smiled, a real smile.
“I’m always peacocking,” Lucien grinned, a real grin. Then his eye caught on the hand Elain was still cradling to her chest, and something akin to agony tore through his chest.
Chapter Five: Madman
Elain paused, her eyes boring into the madman’s, refusing to look away. Inside of her, she felt something spark into life, and for the first time, she didn’t blow it out – she kindled it, holding it in her hands and encouraging it to grow.
Chapter Six: Moonlight Meetings
As though they’d been called by his arousal, the base mate desires sang through his blood. Touch, smell, taste…The last one was strangely powerful today, but maybe it was because the more time he became familiar with her scent, the more he could imagine what she tasted of. Sweet but in the way fruits are sweet, like his own personal nectar-
Chapter Seven: The Nightmare of Memory
Lucien wanted to look away and some part of him felt like whining and bowing his head at seeing her with someone else – a chosen lover. But even when being kissed by another man, Lucien could not tear his eyes from her beauty, and even though he hated himself for it, he wouldn’t dare cover his ears and drown out the music of her pleasured sighs.
Chapter Eight: Sisterly Love
“Rather scandalous, Nesta, I must say. You thinking about me handling myself? I thought you had a mate-” Nesta roared and charged for him. Feyre threw a casual shield between the two of them which the hellcat promptly bounced off. Lucien just focused on staying relaxed. When he was relaxed, he was in control.
Chapter Nine: A Sight To See
But while any fae prince might make Elain’s heart flutter, the sight of Lucien in his most professional, intimidating glory, roused some feeling deep within her gut. It was like her entire body turned electric, and the air between them seemed to crackle as the bond tightened.
Chapter Ten: Human not Humane
At this point, falling was inevitable. Elain had been falling for some time, plummeting down and down after the Cauldron had tipped her out and washed her corpse on jagged stones. But with Lucien holding her she considered, for the first time, having a soft place to land.
Chapter Eleven: A Lesson or Two
They were drifting closer and closer, and the notion of what was about to occur seemed both inevitable and shocking. It was only when Lucien flinched back an inch, that Elain was reminded of who they were, and all the complications that lay between them.
Chapter Twelve: Day Dreams, Night Terrors
“I won’t let you make the same mistake.” His voice was abruptly inside her head, a painful invasion, a reminder of what he could do and what he could take. His hands unentwined from her own and those long fingers wrapped themselves around her wrists. Elain only watched as his large, grey hands formed perfect cuffs around her now dainty wrists, and he squeezed with a threatening promise. She was manacled.
Chapter Thirteen: Unreliable Heart
He would bathe in the morning but for now, for tonight, he would enjoy the satiated feeling of his body, the sponginess of his muscles, the lack of taut hardness between his legs.
Chapter Fourteen A: Tamlin
“I think Tamlin just needs to step up,” Elain said as she stood, looking around the ruined room in a way that reminded Lucien of a mother’s gaze. “He needs to accept what happened with Feyre and move on, he needs to pull himself together, accept that he made mistakes and begin to rebuild.”
Chapter Fourteen B: A Miracle Known as Kindness
“What kind of world would that mean we’re living in?” She whispered, resting her arms on the balcony and peering down at the monstrous gardens. “Where simple kindness is praised like…like some kind of miracle?”
Chapter Fifteen: Spring Showers
Tamlin said, slowly, “I know you’re trying to help. But don’t try fixing something that’s beyond you.” His eyes settled once more on her, piercing into her with their emerald glow. “That’s how you get hurt.”
Chapter Sixteen: Innocence Lost
You are not just haunting me, anymore, you are devouring me, body and soul. I am consumed by you like a forest is consumed by fire. Though I’d never wish for this blaze to cease.
Chapter Seventeen: Seismic Shift
“From now on,” she began, “don’t come looking for me again.” Staring at her sisters, both dressed in night court black, she felt the threads of the universe tighten in her skin.
Chapter Eighteen: Daia Honey Blossom
Elain sighed. “There are many things it seems that I do not know.”
“Yet,” the girl corrected, “In time it all will become clear. That’s what I learned, and when I realised the whole truth I was free, I was able to die in peace.”
Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn's attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain's father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien
Warnings: None.
A/N: This is going to be a long, slow burn fic (hopefully)
MY MASTERLIST
THIS FIC’S MASTERLIST
AO3
Chapter One: Moonlight Messages
Soon, the flowers wouldn’t be enough. No, Elain corrected herself as she glared at the vase, they weren’t enough already. They had never been enough.
The house slept while Elain perched on her window ledge at the River Manor. Despite her cotton nightgown, she had not yet been able to find sleep herself, as so often she did these days. And so, Elain had risen to sit in the silver light of her window ledge and watch the impossibly beautiful night sky of the Night Court wink down at her tauntingly.
The revelation had occurred to Elain a few nights ago, but it hadn’t seemed important then and, along with most of Elain’s life experience thus far, had been brushed under the proverbial carpet. Her education in the etiquette of balls, the correct way one must curtsey in the presence of lady’s and dames, even the novels she’d read on the history of cutlery; it was all useless. She should be upset; she should care that the values that had been instilled in her by her terrifying mother had all but evaporated. But Elain felt nothing.
She was afraid of the flowers, though, because once they’d gone she’d really have nothing left. No mother, no father, no mortal etiquette, in fact, no mortality at all. After being reborn in a world that didn’t make sense to her, after being abandoned by everything she held dear, her father, her fiancé, gardening truly was the only common factor between her life then, and her life now.
And that was useful, to begin with. Gardening was a lifeline to pull her out of the fog that was those first months out of the Cauldron. It should’ve been a steppingstone in her road to recovery, the first step into her new life. Instead, it had consumed her.
As Feyre continued to prove that she’d always meant to be the High Lady of the Night Court, and especially when Nesta – Nesta – found her footing with the Valkyries and began to make a life for herself in Prythian, Elain was left to her flowers. There was nothing else for her, no purpose. No one knew how to talk to her; too afraid she might break if they ask anything more of her than a new pot of petunias.
But if flowers were all the universe could give her, whilst her sisters got married and began to spew out their beautiful children, then she would be grateful. But the flowers weren’t enough, and she was a fool to ever think otherwise.
She’d read every book, familiarised herself with the climates of the different courts and the different shrubbery that grow there. The information was running out, and so, her purpose was running out. Maybe this wouldn’t have threatened her when she was a human, when she only had a good 80 years, if she were lucky, before she’d be taken in the arms of oblivion. But it was eternity that now stretched before her. Eternity of being her sister’s gardener.
Death gives life meaning, petal – so live. It’s what Elain’s father had told her when Graysen had asked for her hand in marriage. Elain had kneeled at her father’s feet, giggling as she gripped his knees and begged him to say yes. In all her life, she’d never been so happy. She was to be married, she was to have her own estate, her own gardens! Imagine that. It would be a little life, nothing of the prince her mother had sworn she was pretty enough to marry. But Elain would’ve gone with Graysen even if he had only a cottage and a ring made of straw.
Her mother, rest her soul, had told Elain that she was a fool, because she believed in romance the way children of the night believed in the fae. Elain devoted her life to romance, her holy books were the novels her father had brought her from the continent, full of dangerous escapades and rising tension, love confessions and secret weddings. Where Nesta had wished to marry rich, Elain had wished to fall in love.
Silly girl, infatuated with infatuation. Her mother’s voice echoed around her head. Just wait, Elain. Wait until a man breaks your heart, it’s all they know to do, then you’ll realise that you and I, well, we aren’t so different after all.
Elain hated her mother for a multitude of reasons, but most of all because she was right. Now her engagement ring was sitting at the bottom of her beside drawers, her heart was broken, her body something else entirely, and her mind…Her mind was torture. It was a labyrinth, and it was complicated. Where Elain used to have silence, she now had noise, endless undisturbed chatter of visions that had not yet taken form. And above it all, beating like a drum of justice – his heartbeat.
At that moment, it was steady and satiated, and Elain knew that meant he was asleep. Lucien, her mate, safe and asleep on the other side of Prythian, and though she could never admit it to herself, the thought did bring her some comfort. At least Lucien was stagnant and reliable, even if he was only reliable in his ability to avoid her at all costs.
It felt like rejection.
All this time Feyre and Nesta, even Rhysand, had talked to her about Lucien in terms of everything being her choice. It would be her choice if she wanted to accept the bond with Lucien, and no matter her decision, Lucien was a good enough male to accept that choice and move on. But it didn’t much feel like her choice mattered, not when her supposed soulmate spent his days at the other end of the lands, as far away from her as possible. Maybe he was hoping she’d reject the bond, but that didn’t explain his behaviour when he visited, all racing heartbeats and flushed cheeks.
Lucien was a hypocrite, Elain couldn’t help but think as she sighed into the crook of her elbow, feeling a surge of emotion batter through her. Damn her human heart. Lucien was a hypocrite because in leaving her, he’d left her with no choice at all.
He may as well have rejected her. As Graysen had rejected her. As Azriel had rejected her.
All Elain wanted was to love, and to be loved, and yet she was loveless, alone – drowning, all over again. Most of the time Elain could keep the ocean of agony at bay, the one that had almost killed her when she’d first come out of the Cauldron. But then there were moments like these, in the dead of night, when she could not sleep. In these moments, the pain had nowhere to go, and it rose up in her life a black wave, before taking her under.
Sinking her teeth into the crook of her elbow until she tasted her fae blood, Elain battled through the wave of emotion. Her tears coming hot and quick as she curled into herself and lay, paralyzed in the depth of her aloneness, till the clouds smothered the moon and turned the world dark.
***
On the other side of Prythian, Lucien found himself tumbling into consciousness. He was sprawled on his back in his bedroom of the Lockhart manor, the residence of Vassa and Lucien, and he supposed, his own home too. Supposedly. The pale sheets were crumpled around his waist and his bare chest was rising steadily in the moonlight.
Unable to stay still, and forever thinking the worst after a childhood of running and hiding, Lucien sprung from his bed and unsheathed his sword from where it hung on a nearby armchair. Breathing through his nose, Lucien turned back to the dark room, his eyes, one fae, one machine, roved over the room, checking for any threat.
But the moment he was up and moving, his body showed him his cause for waking. A sharp, agonising tug from in between his ribs on his left side caused Lucien to surge forwards with a gasp, his sword cluttering to the floor. Just when he recovered from that first tug of the mating bond, a second followed, throwing Lucien onto his hands and knees as a wave of pure, agonising, hopelessness washed over him.
But the moment he was up and moving, his body showed him his cause for waking. A sharp, agonising tug from in between his ribs on his left side caused Lucien to surge forwards with a gasp, his sword cluttering to the floor. Just when he recovered from that first tug of the mating bond, a second followed, throwing Lucien onto his hands and knees as a wave of pure, agonising, hopelessness washed over him.
“What…” Lucien gasped into the silence, his hand running over his ribs, trying to ease the bond that was so fervently demanding his attention. The bond had pulled on him, not Elain – at least he could tell that by now. But the way in which the bond had demanded his attention, it was haunting. It felt as though it had reached the end of a limit, like an elastic band stretched to far only for it to snap right back.
With his mating bond being tugged on so viscerally the base mate desires that Lucien had spent two years putting a damper on, raged into fiery life. Go to her. Find her. Comfort. Keep her safe. Protect her. Comfort…She’s hurting. Kill the threat. Growling into the silence, Lucien scrunched his eyes shut and threw himself against those urges, shoving them deep down. As he did so he repeated his mantra to himself – ‘She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t want me. I will not demand anything of her. She’s fine.’
The last one didn’t really help, not if the overwhelming sadness was any indication of how his mate was faring. She’s upset. The bond seemed to whisper in his ear and Lucien felt his guts turn. Elain was supposed to be happy, that’s why he was doing all of this. He was keeping himself on the other side of the world so she could find herself, so she could be happy. But she wasn’t. If that spout of emotion was enough of an indication, Elain was miserable.
Sighing, Lucien rocked back onto his knees and ran a hand down his face, only for his hand to come away wet. Touching his cheek again, Lucien smelt the brine of tears in his room. But they weren’t his tears. No, a lady, his lady, was weeping on the other side of the world, hard enough for her tears to roll down his cheeks.
Again, Lucien felt his guts turn and thought for a moment he might be sick. Throwing himself to his feet Lucien sat back on his bed, glaring out his window to the moon, the same moon she might be looking at, at that very instant.
Lucien didn’t have anything going for him. He was a traitor, a coward, a seventh son, an outsider; when the world reforged itself around the Archeron sisters, Lucien had got left behind. No, not left behind, stuck. He was neither here nor there. Neither friend nor foe. Nothing was solid in his life, nothing constant, except that golden thread wrapped around his ribcage, tugging him north to…her.
She was enigmatic and good, supposedly. The same way he was supposedly cunning. He wanted to…well, he wanted to do everything. But in this moment, and over the past few months, he just wished to know her. A minute of her time, each day, would that be so much. But she was beyond him, in every sense of the word.
She was still broken and still healing, and he couldn’t impose himself into her new world. Right?
Lucien groaned and turned away from the moonlight, burying his head into his pillow. All Lucien seemed to be able to think was that somewhere, on the other side of Prythian was Elain. Elain, alive and well. His mate. His mate. Mother, he’d never get over saying those two little, impossible words.
She was his soulmate, did that mean she was awake now, thinking of him the way he thought of her? Obsessively, incandescently, without remorse or restraint. Rolling on his back, Lucien looked again at the moon.
“Are you thinking of me?” He whispered into the silence, only the moonlight and the mother to hear the tremble in his voice, “…because I’m thinking of you…I’m always thinking of you.”
Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn's attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain's father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien
Warnings: None.
A/N: This is going to be a long, slow burn fic (hopefully)
MY MASTERLIST
THIS FIC’S MASTERLIST
AO3
Chapter Four: A Little Lost, A Little Found
Elain was in Lockhart Manor. Elain was currently sleeping a few doors down the hallway. Elain, his mate, was here. Elain-
“Oh, shut up,” Lucien groaned to his own mind, as he rolled over with more vigour than necessary. But there was little hope of sleep finding him tonight, not when he felt so energised and awake. Not only did Lucien feel the bond, taut and invigorated in-between his ribs, but he could still smell Elain, that Spring morning clear in his mind.
What was she doing here? What had changed?
Had she come for him?
Of course not. Right?
Lucien rolled over again, allowing a small snarl of frustration to rip from his lips. If Lucien knew Elain a little better then maybe he’d actually be able to talk to her and ask her these questions. But he didn’t know her, and he wasn’t her friend.
Maybe she’d come to break the bond. That had to be it. Given his luck his entire life it was outrageous to believe that his mate who he hadn’t spoken to for two years had travelled the country to be under the same roof as him, to work alongside him, to go to meetings by his side as his…colleague?
He just wanted to talk to her. One clear conversation where he wasn’t holding back, when he didn’t care about every word both spoken and unspoken. One conversation where he could be the silver-tongued fox he’d been before any Archeron had entered his life. But around Elain he was a fool. A hopeless, romantic fool.
Oh, how Tamlin would’ve goaded him over this. Lucien, who had taken lovers to his bed as though he was being paid, unable to even conjure more than a sentence in front of a female. Well, old Tamlin would’ve laughed at him – with him. Old Tamlin would’ve laughed, period. Now…Now he was another thing in Lucien’s life that had turned to poison.
It was only last week, after Nyx’s arrival, that Lucien received a letter from Rhysand detailing his new assignment in the Spring Court. He’d been able to delay such work thus far, but by the end of the week he was expected in Spring. Following that, the plan was to manipulate his way into alternating weeks between the Spring and Lockhart Manor.
Would he leave Elain here? Could he convince her to somehow come with him to Spring?
She’d love it there, not just the proper and neat gardens of the Spring Manor (or what was left of their civilisation) but also the rugged fields and forests. Spring Court was violent with life. It was a pandemonium of flora, every single plant one could possibly find in Prythian could be found somewhere in the battlefield of the Spring lands. The overwhelming, erratic terrain was exactly where Lucien saw Elain thriving.
If he took her maybe she’d love it. She’d most likely take clippings or, or maybe not. Maybe she would just stay for a moment, and enjoy existing in such a place, her gentle hands refusing to intervene with the beautiful, wild course of nature. Maybe she’d lie down in the fields, maybe she’d go swimming with him in the pools of starlight. One day, far, far, far into the future.
Maybe she’d smile – a real, genuine smile. Lucien believed he still had yet to experience the privilege of seeing such a phenomenon.
The voice of the bond had quietened in his mind, along with the voice which seemed to come from deeper down, the one that told Lucien exactly how much shit he was in given the size of the schoolboy crush he’d somehow developed. But still, there was little chance of Lucien finding more than a few hours of sleep.
And so, with his body alive and electric, Lucien did what he had been doing for the past two years. Lucien wrote a letter - one that was never, ever, intended to be read.
***
Breakfast was awkward. Surely it wasn’t always this awkward, not with the glint in Jurian’s smile and the steel in Vassa’s glare. Lucien seemed…bemused, he appeared to be glaring at his toast and eggs as though they contained some secret prophecy that he needed to decipher.
She was curious about the particulars of Vassa’s curse, about how she knew when the change was coming. Did it happen always at sunrise? How much time did she have to prepare? Was it the workings of the death lord’s magic, or his deal? She was especially curious given that one of her tasks being down here was to help undo Vassa’s ties to the death lord, not that she was sure the Band of Exiles were aware of that given her sister’s ruined letter.
It was Vassa’s stoic silence that kept Elain from opening her mouth. That and a million other worthless reasons.
It was Vassa’s stoic silence that kept Elain from opening her mouth. That and a million other worthless reasons.
“Is there something you wish to ask me, Ms Archeron?” Vassa eventually spoke into the unbearable silence, perhaps aware of the frequency of Elain’s not so inconspicuous side-glances. Elain fought the blush as glared at her plate.
“Elain, please…” maybe she was being paranoid, but the way everyone here kept stressing her title felt like an awful lot like a reminder of the title she was supposed to have in these lands. The life she was supposed to have, the husband, the house, now it all felt so foreign.
“Really, we should be calling her Lady,” Jurian smiled, his own breakfast consisting of a single orange and a small goblet of black coffee, a delicacy of the Night Court he’d bought in bulk.
“Perhaps…if we were in Prythian,” Vassa said non-committedly.
“Titles do not interchange between borders, even human borders,” Lucien spoke up suddenly, his voice sounded causal and polite, but his figure had gone rigid, and his eyes were burning as they rested on Vassa who seemed to shiver slightly under his gaze. Elain adverted her gaze, an ugly feeling flashing through her like lightening. She’d been avoiding looking at him for most of the meal, desperate to ignore how she’d noticed that he’d changed.
“Lady Elain…” Vassa began, her eyes still locked with Lucien’s and Elain felt a furious blush warm her cheeks. God she was so…angry. Stupid mating bond. “Last night you asked me to discuss with you how you maybe be of some use whilst working with us,” Vassa’s eyes found hers from where she was seated at the head of the table, Jurian and Lucien either side of her, Elain next to Jurian. “Well tonight we’re having dinner and talks at the Nolan’s residence-”
“Which of course you won’t be forced to attend,” Lucien ground out, glaring at the queen who just shrugged and reached for the syrup.
“We’ll be discussing all manner of important things; it would be a brilliant opportunity for Elain to familiarise herself with those who she’ll be working in close quarters with for the foreseeable future.”
“These dinners are of little consequence,” Lucien’s eyes flickered to Elain’s for a moment before his gaze returned to the queen and Elain felt something inside her crack. It was as though he couldn’t look at her for more than a second, that or he couldn’t bear to look away from the queen. “I don’t even bother with attending.” Lucien directed at the queen.
“There’s ample opportunity for Elain to make acquaintances elsewhere,” Jurian said through a yawn, leaning back with a stretch. But Elain didn’t miss how his eyes appeared to rove over his two fiery-haired companions. Mother, how she wished they would stop talking about her rather than with her. If she wanted to be discussed at the table as though she were a child she might as well have stayed in the Night Court.
“I’m grateful for the offer but today I was hoping to have a look over the current contracts and ensure they’re meeting the timeline Feyre had drawn for you. Once I can ensure the work you’ve done thus far meets the standards of my High Lady then I’ll know what to both expect and push for with the human councils.” The words flowed out of Elain in an orderly manner, in the exact way she’d practiced as she fell asleep the night prior.
Unlike the Night Court, it was clear Elain was going to have to fight and demand for her own voice and seat at the table. Here, with the Band of Exiles, no one would coddle her. So, she’d either have to stay in the shadows, or step into the light.
Besides, there wasn’t enough gold in the world that would make Elain step a single foot in the Manor that would’ve been her home, once upon a time.
Vassa opened her mouth to say something before shutting it and turning back to her plate, a firm line carved in between her brows. Jurian was glancing around the table with a shit-eating grin and Lucien, the tension in his body had seemed to ease and after a small moment, he took a large mouthful of food.
“Are there, um, any other gatherings I may be able to attend, later in the week?” Elain tried to shake the nervousness from her voice. She couldn’t let these three see her as someone able to be pushed to the side. She needed this.
“There has been weekly meetings with all the human lords,” Lucien said after swallowing, his eyes meeting hers in a way that drew the breath from her body, “Huckleberry Hall is where we’ve been hosting the crowds-”
“The house by the old creek?” Elain couldn’t stop herself from interrupting, her mother would’ve pinched her thigh under the table for such poor manners. But it was just so alarming, to hear the residencies of her childhood come out of Lucien’s mouth. He’d always felt so far and distant, and yet, he was familiar with the lands she’d grown up in. Though she wouldn’t admit it, it made her wish she knew about him. His upbringing.
“That’s the one,” Lucien’s smile was soft and warm and…genuine. “We’re having a meeting there the day after tomorrow. If you wish, you’re most welcome to attend, it’s where the most current information is, and the meeting will give you’re a formal opportunity to meet with our human colleagues. I was heading there today anyways to meet with their cartographer, if you…well, if you’d like to…accompany me?”
“Yes I, uh, I don’t know the way to Huckleberry from here,” Elain was far to aware of two sets of human eyes boring into her at that moment.
“Yes,” Lucien blinked. Not quite a statement. Not quite a question, either. “Yes…good, yes. We’ll set off at first light then...”
Elain just nodded. Not trusting her voice to speak.
***
They were walking in silence.
As Lucien at promised, at first light he’d met Elain at the Lockhart’s front door, his hands behind his back as he waited at the bottom of the stairs. Elain had taken a moment to assess his clothes before she had to look away. He was wearing a loose brown shirt, dark trousers and brown boots. It was a perfect outfit for the summer morning, with the thick air and dewy sunlight. But it was the sight of his crimson hair, tied in a loose bun at the nape of his neck, a few whisps framing the sharp angles of his face, that had Elain looking away.
Lucien seemed to still as she came into view, quickly saying goodbye to Nuala who turned and made her way back up the stairs, and Elain turned to watch her go, giving Lucien a chance to look her over. Her dress was a plain cream, and was of a simple cut that could pass in both human and fae realms – a cunning choice of clothing he thought. The neckline was perhaps a little daring for the human communities which was hilarious given that all one could see of Elain was her collarbones, but the full skirts were the same of the women he’d seen in these lands.
It was her hair he lingered on. Even when bouncing with curls it came down to her waist. Intricate braids pulled most of it away from her face and Lucien could spot pale flowers in a variety of sizes perched at the crown of her head. Real flowers, nothing like the faux pieces the humans tended to favour. She was…divine. Impossible. Beyond him, in every conceivable way.
“You ready?” He tried smiling at her, but it felt as though it came across more of a grimace.
“Hm mm,” Elain bowed her head, a faint blush colouring her cheeks as her curls bounced. Gods, he was fucked.
Silence had fallen quickly over the duo, besides the odd ‘watch out for that root’ or ‘duck’ as they made their way into the forestry of the mortal lands. The path was clear until a certain junction, and then it became little more than a dirt path, only wide enough for them to walk single file. Lucien had wanted Elain to go first so that he’d be able to keep an eye on her, to keep her safe, until he remembered that she quite literally didn’t know where she was going.
Lucien had thought Elain would’ve been disgruntled by the shrubbery pulling at her fine dress, but Elain meandered through the forest in an expert fashion. She gathered her skirts in her hands and would hop with a doe-like grace over the greenery and roots. In fact, the only time he heard her disgruntled was when she’d accidentally stepped on some plant or flower – forever a lady of the forest.
It was only when Lucien was finding himself relax in their silence that disaster struck. Lucien’s foot snagged on something under a large fern that had grown over the path, and then there was an audible snap of leather. The noise was enough to set Lucien into action, with one arm, he unsheathed his Autumn sword and with the other he turned and pulled Elain into him, all sense and thought evaporating from his mind and being replaced with the single, overwhelming urge to ‘protect, protect, protect’.
But where Lucien had been prepared for an enemy of mortal body, their attack came from above. Lucien saw a glint of something dropping down on them at a furious pace and pulled Elain tighter to his chest, bending slightly at the waist so he covered her entirely, so that not one inch of Elain was visible to the attack from above.
But the attack never came, not quite. When Lucien span, turning to tuck Elain behind him as he faced the enemy, he came face to face with…a cage…of wood. Ashwood.
The cage arched over Lucien and Elain, and the wood was interwoven in a way that was reminiscent of the dog cages Eris had used for his Dobermans. It was hilarious really. Lucien and Elain, two fae, and highly powerful fae at that, caged in like a common pup.
Lucien was just scoffing at the cage when he felt Elain shift behind him. Turning around, Lucien just caught Elain as she reached out for the cage, perhaps in an attempt to shift the weak structure out of her way.
“Elain, don’t-” But it was too late, Elain had ran her hand along the edge of the meshed cage before pulling her arm back with a pained gasp. “Shit!” Lucien was by her side in a flash, one hand on her arm, tucking her away from the cage as though it were an enemy, and he were blocking her from view. His other hand went to her crumpled hand which was now throbbing as a furious burn puckered across the surface.
Looking down, Elan watched as Lucien turned and, without touching the damaged skin, assessed her injured palm.
“Fae trap,” Lucien growled, “many councils are encouraging their use now that the wall’s gone.”
“How horrible…” Elain whispered before surprise rattled through her. Three years ago she would’ve thought these traps necessary protection against the evil fae. But now, they just seemed cruel.
“Horrible for us and other civilised fae, but there are other creatures, particularly the southern woods of Spring, who one might argue deserve every bit of this treatment.” Lucien turned back to glaring at the cage, and if looks could burn Elain didn’t doubt that the wood – perhaps the whole forest – would be furiously ablaze.
“I…I don’t know if I’d call you civilised…” Elain finally murmured, allowing herself to momentarily give into the urge to soothe him, to let him know that she was okay. Lucien’s head whipped back around to her and, after a moment of assessing her soft expression, a coy smile that showed his perfect teeth pulled at his lips. Not a laugh, but a genuine smile.
“Was that a joke, Lady?”
“An attempt,” Elain couldn’t help but shyly duck away from his warm eyes and dimpled smile. “You know,” she changed the topic, “I can’t image these kinds of things would work.” She nodded up to the cage.
“I’ve seen fae on a battlefield,” she shuddered involuntarily, “Something like this,” she went to touch the cage before remembering and flinching her hand back, “seems hardly daunting.”
“Ashwood doesn’t work like an Illyrian, they’re all cock and walk, Ashwood is cunning and clever,” Lucien was glaring at the cage, his metal eye clicking and whirring as it roved over the trap.
“How can wood be cunning?”
“It’s a weapon, all weapons have personality.”
“Does your sword have personality?” Elain murmured, nodding at the silver blade she’d never seen him without.
“Well…since it comes from the Autumn Court, it would be safe to assume it’s the metal equivalent of a ruthless git.” Lucien shook his head, his crimson hair shifting in a stream of sunlight. “A human trapping a fae or two in some Ashwood is easy,” Lucien continued, “But then begs the question of what one would do from there.”
“Well, they’d have to lift the cage,”
“They’d be dead in seconds,” Lucien quipped, his head cocking to the side, whisps of his fiery hair following his movement. “Go on, don’t stop, think like a fae hunter.”
“I’d rather not,” Elain shivered slightly, very aware of how close Lucien was standing. Elain also didn’t fail in missing the dark shadow that passed through Lucien’s eye at the nod towards her ex-fiancé.
“Okay, then think like a fae.” Lucien swung his arms across his chest with a catlike grace, “You’re hunting, let’s see...an Attor, clearly feeling a little dangerous today. It’s walked right into your lovey cage of Ashwood, which let me say Lady Archeron, I must compliment you on your excellent lattice work.” Elain giggled and Lucien faltered in his speech, his eyes widening as he looked as though he’d struck gold. “So…” he cleared his throat, “You’ve trapped the Attor in your wonderful cage, then what?”
“Well, it depends on what I want an…At-tor, for?”
“Hm, interesting. Let’s say you need to cut out it’s tongue for a healing tonic.” Elain made a face, “Okay, okay, no tonics.”
“No tongues please.”
“Oh really?” Lucien couldn’t stop his shit-eating grin, especially when Elain began to blush furiously and avoid his eye. Something inside Lucien was racing, entirely giddy at the fact he was bantering with Elain, Elain, Archeron.
“The Attor?” Elain stressed, turning around and perching herself on a fallen trunk.
“Interrogation – you need vital information pronto, or the High Lord will have your head.”
“Rhysand?”
“Well if in this world you, Elain Archeron, are hunting an Attor, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to believe that I might be High Lord.”
“Of which court?”
“None of them. No, all of them. No wait, my own court – the ‘Lucien is incredibly handsome’ court.” Lucien was pushing his luck, that he knew. He was towing that line as always, the one between banter and a step too far. Saying something that would cause the other to retract from him, or carve out his eye. But Elain just tilted her head, her honey hair spilling across her pale dress.
“You have many devout followers in this court?”
“Maybe, but only one of them matters.” He grinned at her knowingly, testing the waters, seeing how far he could go with her before they remembered they were bonded by destiny. Something shy flickered across Elain’s face as she took in his meaning. And then.
“Are you peacocking right now?” Elain smiled, a real smile.
“I’m always peacocking,” Lucien grinned, a real grin. Then his eye caught on the hand Elain was still cradling to her chest, and something akin to agony tore through his chest.
“Mother, I’m sorry,” He muttered, his amusement having evaporated as he hurried to sit next to Elain, taking her ruined palm into his lap with a featherlight touch. “I can’t ever shut up. I just talk and talk and forget about the important things.”
“What are you doing?” Elain was sure he voice sounded somewhat strangled as Lucien zoned in on her mutilated palm, his metal eye whirring as he ran a single finger along it’s creases.
“I have the ability to heal,” Lucien’s voice also sounded a bit strained as he hunched himself over her hand.
“Oh…” Elain murmured, as a warm sensation prickled across her skin, and she watched as the red splotches clamed back into ivory. “You know,” Elain was practically whispering as Lucien moved to her fingers, “My skin never used to be this colour.”
“Oh?” Lucien seemed to be breathing through his mouth, and with is gaze occupied, Elain allowed herself to rove over his appearance. The knot of crimson hair, the strong yet angled brows, the white webs of his scar, prominent cheekbones, sharp jaw, full and wide lips, and a strong curved nose.
“No…” Elain breathed, “I always used to be so much tanner than my sisters, I was always in the gardens as we were growing up you see. My mother would ring me out for it. She’d love the colour I’m now.” The colour she’d been since the Cauldron. She didn’t know why she was telling him all this, or why it felt so natural to talk to him about these things. But here in the human lands, a world away from the sneers of Nesta or the gossiping of Feyre, Elain found that she didn’t mind the idea of conversing with Lucien.
“I was always the darkest out of my brothers,” Lucien moved to her second finger.
“How many do you have?”
“Seven,” Lucien met her eyes momentarily with a cheeky grin.
“Seven!” Elain smiled back, and then Lucien’s eyes seemed to darken and something in him seemed to rescind as he turned back to her hand.
“Well, I used to have seven…a few of them died.”
“Oh…I’m so sorry,” Lucien seemed to go to say something, his mouth turning into a frown, before he shook his head and moved to the next finger.
“I…my mother told it was because I’d been kissed by the Sun when I was born…that’s why I was so tan. I was born on the Autumn Equinox, it’s the longest day of autumn in the Autumn Court, the sun turns crimson and blesses the lands for the upcoming year.”
“That sounds very beautiful…”
“It is. It’s believed the trees come to life in the night and talk to each other, lovers of the earth able to speak for a few hours of the year. There’s feasts and fires, and we read stories of the sacrifice of the Wyvern.”
“Wyvern?” Elain’s yes turned bright and wide, “As in the animal from adventure novels?”
“Animal is an awfully polite term to describe harbinger’s of fire and death,” a grin flickered across Lucien’s face, “It’s believed that centuries and centuries ago, when the Old Gods still ruled the Earth, the Autumn Court was a nest of Wyverns. When the world changed into what it is today the mother Wyvern, Hermenegilda, scattered her cubs throughout time so that they may survive. Every year those of the Autumn Court gather in the caves to see if a cub will appear, and to praise the mother for her sacrifice.”
“Do they? The cubs, do they appear?”
“They used to, though a cub has not been found since before I was born. Courtiers tend to believe the cubs have run out, that there are no more children of the mother Wyvern, but devout believers still hope for a cub to appear each year.” With that, Lucien finished healing her pinkie finger and turned to peer at her. Their bodies still close, Elain’s palm still resting in his hand in his lap.
“You…what do you believe?” Elain breathed, her voice just a whisper.
“I think…well I…” Lucien’s voice was breathy and low, intimate in a way Elain hadn’t heard before, “...I’d like to believe that anything’s possible.”
Before Elain could have a moment to respond, or even think about what possible double meaning could come from his words, a furious flapping of wings caused her to startle and whip her head around, ripping her hand from Lucien’s lap in the process. There, on the other side of the cage, perched on a tree branch, was a beautiful bird. It was huge, with iridescent feathers and woody eyes, and the air surrounding the bird seemed to thrum with energy and magic.
“Don’t worry, it’s only Vassa.” Lucien nodded at the firebird, “…she’ll get Jurian for us.”
Elain just nodded, aware that her cheeks were still most likely flushed. Unable to meet Lucien’s eye, Elain watched as the firebird took off into the golden, mid-morning sky, a disapproving screech tearing from its throat.
Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn’s attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain’s father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien
Warnings: Nine
A/N: I’ve added a tag list for those who wish to stay updated with this story! Just message me if you wish to be added <3
MY MASTERLIST
THIS FIC’S MASTERLIST
AO3
Chapter Ten: Human not Humane
Huckleberry Hall was thriving with life. Lucien had apparated at the bottom of the pathway leading up to the external arches and courtyard placed before the hall – and there were people everywhere.
Elain saw all walks of life, from noblemen to peasants crowded on the lawns and paths. It was like looking directly into a memory. In another life, Elain would walk among these people with her sisters and parents. Nesta would trot directly behind their mother as she sneered down her nose at the farmers and tanners, Feyre would drift a little further behind, looking up at the clouds in the sky. Their father would walk at the back holding little Elain’s hand, pointing out the flowers and the trees and showing her how to make a trumpet from a leaf.
That was another life and what Elain had always assumed was a happier one.
Mother knows what she thought now.
Lucien and Elain were hidden from sight down the pathway, and it looked as though they were the last to arrive. Looking around, Elain saw stableboys managing a small army of horses, farmers sitting next to wagons full of seeds, grain and fruit, there were even Lords and Ladies, perched under umbrellas in fine chairs, tutting to themselves at the display.
It was so…human.
The rowdy chatter, the children playing hopscotch, the delicacy of these little lives and how they were interwoven with one another. Another way in it being so human was that Elain knew she didn’t fit.
Years ago the sight of all these people would have simply washed over Elain, now it threatened to drown her. Looking around all she could see were people, people and more people. People she didn’t know in a situation she couldn’t control. How long had it been since Elain had spoken to anyone outside the Inner Circle or the Band of Exiles? She hadn’t been taken to any of the meetings with other Courts or any trips abroad – her family hadn’t even told her. They’d just left her alone and hoped she’d be fine.
Breathing started to become a little difficult.
“Are you okay?” Lucien’s voice husked in her ear.
Elain just stared blankly up at him; she wasn’t sure. His own eyes were assessing her carefully.
“If you don’t want to do this just say the word and I’ll take us home.”
Home…
“I’m fine,” Elain said, though a little breathily, “It’s just…I haven’t been around a crowd in a long time.”
She flinched then as a carriage thundered through the woods on a path far to their left, the noise scaring the birds who began a loud chorus of squawking. All of the uproar felt as though it were washing over Elain, dragging her down, suffocating her.
“Hey, Elain, breathe,” Lucien’s hands came up to rest on her shoulders as he pulled himself in front of her, blocking her view of the Hall and all the people surrounding it. Now, her attention was on him.
“Breathe,” he commanded once more before he joined her in taking deep, long breaths. In, out. In, out.
Slowly, the roaring noise and itching anxiety began to fade away as she became encased in the sensation of Lucien. The smell of him surrounding her, his hands on her shoulders, his eyes concerned as they roved over her face.
She wondered if this is how he often felt – like his entire universe sometimes shifted so that she was at the centre.
Once Elain’s breathing had returned to a steady pace for several moments, she felt something tugging from within. Without thinking, Elain brushed up against the bond and was surprised to feel a wave of emotions – Lucien’s emotions – washing over her. She was even more surprised at what those emotions were.
“You’re angry,” Elain whispered after a moment. Lucien shook his head but, he was. His eyes were burning, his jaw set, his brows furrowed – he looked as though he were furiously trying to stop himself from talking. “You are,” Elain prodded because, well, it was a good distraction.
Lucien sighed before looking warily down at her, almost as though he were contemplating telling her whatever it was that had set him off.
“I told Feyre a long time ago that she should’ve been taking you out to see the ocean or sunlight. Instead she…” Lucien trailed off. Elain wished he didn’t, she wished he just said what he so clearly itched to get off his chest.
“I like the indoors,” Elain shrugged.
“Do you?” Lucien cocked his head, “I thought you used to spend all your time in gardens and your greatest wish was to see the continent.”
Elain paused. How did he know about the continent…
Her father. When Lucien had come for Vassa he’d met Elain’s father and he must’ve tried to inconspicuously pick up as much information about her as he could. Maybe once Elain would’ve thought the notion strange but, she couldn’t stop herself from smiling shyly.
“Okay…” Elain tilted her head, “But I needed the indoors.”
“You needed both,” Lucien said as his eyes softened, “Fresh air, new places, new people – they remind us that the world is bigger than the rooms we lock ourselves in.”
The hands on her shoulders began to rub soothingly along her upper arms, and once more Elain’s entire focus zoned in on that point of contact.
“Did you used to lock yourself away?” Lucien grinned.
“Elain, I’m a 400-year-old fae, I’ve spent my fair share moping indoors. Tamlin was the one who eventually had enough, he threw me out into the woods of Spring one day and said if I couldn’t catch anything, I wasn’t eating dinner.”
“That sounds mean,” Elain half-laughed.
“Maybe,” Lucien shrugged, “But it got me out. He was a bastard though, I spent all day in a river collecting enough bass to feed a small army only to come back to the Manor and find an entire spread waiting for me: potatoes, honeyed-ham, even Tipiati – it’s a delicacy from Dawn. It’s this little bird and you cut it open and eat the heart raw-”
“Oh, ugh!” Elain giggled as she scrunched her nose.
“What’s wrong petal? Raw bird heart not sounding good? Wait until I tell you what they do with the eyes-”
“Okay, okay! Feeling better! Ready to seize the day just please, stop talking about those poor birds!” Elain laughed, feeling for the first time in forever the weight on her shoulders disappear.
“I’m going to get you to try it one day,” Lucien grinned, looking rather smug with himself at having made her laugh.
“Oh, in your dreams,” Elain looped her arm through his as they made their way up the path and into the view of the humans.
“Just you wait, if we’re ever in Summer I’m making you try Calamari.”
“I don’t even want to know,” Elain smiled, and for a moment, she forgot where she was.
Because her arm was in Lucien’s and he was smiling down at her as though she were a forest nymph bedecked in moon-flowers and in this moment, everything felt alright.
It was only when they were halfway down the path to the Hall, that Elain began to remember where she was, and she felt the eyes of the humans – humans she once knew – boring into her. She simply kept her own stare ahead at the open doors of the Hall in which she could see the fiery glint of Vassa’s hair and golden dress.
But her fae hearing picked up on everything. She heard the whisperings of the peasants, both enchanted and disgusted by her beauty, she heard the Ladies muttering to one another about her dress and how disgustingly uncivilised it was.
She heard the Lords grinning to one another about how they knew Elain when she was a little girl. About how they had first dibs…
If she wasn’t mistaken Lucien had gone somewhat rigid next to her and he was once more pulling himself to his full height, looming over everyone in the courtyard. One glance up at him told her that he was wearing his fiercest scowl, his entire being practically thrumming with magic that she knew was hot under the surface of his skin.
Then, Lucien was leaning low, his lips coming close to her ear as he whispered three little words. And then, his voice was the only one that mattered.
“I’ve got you.”
***
Time started to move quickly after their laboured walk into the Hall. Once they were in and grouped with Vassa and Jurian, Elain found herself being introduced to a plethora of Noblemen and Ladies. They shook her hand with introductions and light discussions of who they were and the role they played in the rebuilding of the mortal world. Elain was glad she had spent so much time looking over the documents and contracts as she found herself maintaining elaborate, detailed questions with everyone she came into contact with – and as each successful conversation passed, so did her anxiety, and she truly began to believe she could do this.
She often found herself using the same techniques her mother had taught her when attending balls. Except now, instead of conversations about dowries and marital prospects, she was speaking of trade routes and contractual obligations.
On more than one occasion she came into contact with someone whom she once knew. Some people, such as older, less wealthy men were kind and joyful, telling Elain how they were glad to see she was at least healthy and alive following the Battle against Hybern. With others, Elain could read the quite plain apprehension and slight disgust in the eyes of those she’d once known – particularly of father’s whose sons she’d once been a contender for marrying.
The Hall was busy with chatter as this was also the first meeting in which Queen Vassa was in attendance, and with the two new, unusual arrivals, there were many mortal civilities that needed to pass before everyone was to take their seats in the main hall at the southern end of the building.
Lucien never left her side, but not in a way that felt claustrophobic or hovering, but merely in a way that told her that he had her back. Whenever she tuned into his conversations she found that most mortals responded somewhat well to Lucien. At least, as well as they could given the circumstances. Many mortal Lords were interested in Lucien’s weaponry and experience in battle, there appeared to be an endless amount of questions regarding his sword of choice.
There was only one time in which Elain overheard her name in his discussions.
“Are you and the Lady Elain married then?” Lord McAdams, an old man who owned the human libraries inquired over a glass of port.
“We’re acquaintances, and while she is here she is under my protection,” Lucien replied smoothly. He was the image of relaxation, an easy smile that lit up the room playing on his features.
“Ah, I see,” McAdams winked at Lucien, who merely tilted his head in response.
“Pardon?”
“I won’t tell anyone, of course, you see, it is highly unusual for an unmarried woman to…well to…though it does happen.” McAdams was old enough that he wheezed as he talked.
“I’m quite lost Lord McAdams, though I’m sure you mean well.”
“Of course, of course, my boy. Of course, I mean well,” McAdams chortled, “Besides, I can’t blame you can I? You know I knew Elain when she was a little girl, her father used to take all three of them round to my house so they could have their pick from my libraries. She was the prettiest of them all, even then, and it’s always interesting to see how they…turn out.”
Elain was nodding along as a young Lord who owned the rice fields out West continued to chat extensively about himself. Though at that moment, she felt a pair of eyes searing into her back, particularly her behind. At that moment she didn’t need to reach for the bond to feel the protective fury that was radiating from her mate.
It was strange, but for some reason, she liked it. Some guilty, deep down part of her shuddered in agreement at the idea of Lucien being protective over her in the face of these men. It was almost a nice idea, belonging to him…
“Elain!” A saccharine voice pulled Elain from her internal tribulations and Lucien and McAdams faded away as a silver blur appeared in front of her. “Oh Elain it’s so good to see you again, you look…well!”
Delilah Darlington exploded into the conversation, nudging into the side of the young Lord who grumbled in response. She was bundled in a rather ridiculous silver gown which was bedecked in frills of lace that hung off the fabric like cobwebs. Delilah was beautiful, though, and a sweet kind girl.
She did not deserve the cruelty of someone such as Graysen.
“Delilah, I’m so glad you’re well! Congratulations on your engagement,” Elain said with as much earnest kindness she could muster as she pulled Delilah into a brief embrace.
They’d been friends, once, along with a small gaggle of girls. Nesta couldn’t stand any of them, she saw them as competition at balls and discouraged Elain from forming any kind of relationship with them. Elain had anyways, of course. It was something to look forward to at those balls, something to distract her from the wandering hands and unwanted touches.
“Oh, well, yes I-I uh, I didn’t know you were coming back.” Delilah looked strangely guilty for a moment, and Elain felt something in her chest squeeze. Graysen wasn’t deserving of this girl, and he wasn’t worth coming between them.
“Well I’m only here until some political goals are accomplished, then I’ll probably be heading back over the border.”
“How exciting, you always wanted to travel.”
“Yes,” Elain grinned shyly, touched that Delilah remembered such a trivial detail. Looking around Elain realised that the young Lord had disappeared, and she felt herself relaxing from the forced courtly act she’d been playing.
“It’s wonderful Delilah it really is. Being turned fae has been difficult, more than difficult it’s been…well, it’s been hard, but it’s almost worth it for the beauty of Prythian.”
Delilah, unlike the other mortals who changed the conversation once anything beyond the wall was mentioned, grinned widely and rubbed her hands together.
“I read a book after you were taken over the wall, it was a forbidden scripture from McAdams library that I managed to steal when I was over there. It detailed all things about Prythian, is it true there are Seasonal Courts?”
“Oh yes,” Elain grinned, allowing her courtier’s exterior to crumble, “Lucien hails from the Autumn Court.”
Elain shifted so that she was now standing next to Delilah against the wall and pointed out to Lucien, though there was no need, he stood head and shoulders above everyone, currently nodding along to something a small gaggle of women were chatting about.
“Oh of course, I can see it now,” Delilah muttered with a smile, but Elain was fixated and the now growing group of women that were trying to gain her mate’s attention. Delilah, seeing Elain’s line of sight, smiled wider. “They do that every week. They’re all eligible brides, see there’s Isobel and Lottie…not that they would ever admit it, but I think some of them want him to propose.”
“Propose?” Elain couldn’t stop herself from spluttering, feeling a protective fiery anger move through her at the thought. The idea that these women had gathered week after week trying to sway Lucien into offering them his hand in marriage for two years, it made her feel feral.
Lucien was hers.
The thought was like a stone to the head and suddenly the protective rage was cleared, leaving behind her internal shock and confusion had having had such an audacious thought. But by the way Lucien was now grinning slyly at the women before him, his confidence having tripled within the minute, Elain was pretty certain she’d accidentally sent that thought down the bond.
“Is he really your mate?” Delilah asked, her eyes twinkling slightly. Elain stayed quiet for a moment, and then.
“Yes. He is. We’re bound together by fate and the Mother herself.”
“That sounds very beautiful,” Delilah said softly, but Elain could not take her eyes away from her Autumn Male. It was like the thought had just truly dawned on Elain, the reality of their situation.
Lucien was her mate. In that way, he was hers.
And she was his.
“It is…”
“The meeting shall begin in ten minutes, please, may you all take your seats!” A loud, brash voice called from the looming doors of the main hall and the crowd began to move in the direction, the babbling only increasing as wives got left behind and Lords could engage in the locker room talk before the politics – Elain didn’t miss the several glances thrown her way as the men’s rowdy chatty began to fill the building.
“I must go but, I’ll see you soon,” Delilah hopped out away from her, giving Elain a quick embrace and a kiss on the cheek before she was waving and disappearing into the crowd. The crowd where her fiancé no doubt was hidden.
She had not yet seen him.
Just as she was about to lose herself in the throng, Lucien was in front of her, pushing through the men as though they were no more than butterflies to swat at. Before she could say anything, he was holding out his arm with a slight bow.
“Lady.”
Unable to help herself, Elain grinned at her mate as she looped her arm through his and was rewarded with an equally bright grin back. Lucien led them through the crowd into the hall, people parting for them as though they were a plague to be avoided. Elain didn’t mind, especially if it meant no one would stand on her train.
“They can’t take their eyes off you.” Lucien didn’t move as he spoke, he merely muttered the words under his breath and had he been talking to any mortal, they would’ve been lost on the wind. But Elain’s fae-hearing picked them up, and she felt a shiver run the length of her spine at the secret conversation in plain sight.
“Feeling territorial?” Elain surprised herself by husking back.
“It would seem I’m not the only one.” She didn’t need to look at him to know he was smirking coyly.
“I don’t like the way they talk about me,” Elain moved on before her cheeks could start burning, “The men who watched me grow up.”
“It’s repulsive.” All humour left her mate’s tone. “If it soothes your mind know that I won’t let them lay a finger on you.”
“I don’t know if touching is the problem so much as the looking.”
“That dress isn’t doing us favours I’m afraid.”
“Oh, do you wish for me to get rid of -”
“Don’t,” Lucien said too quickly, his arm going rigid from where it was interlinked with hers. Elain smirked. “It’s…it’s a fine dress.” Lucien tried to concede.
“I think so.”
“It reminds me of home.” Elain stole a glance at him then.
“Because of the fabric?”
“Well yes,” Lucien’s brows furrowed as his eyes met hers, “But…that dress was my mothers.” Elain felt her shock roll through her. His mother’s? But this was a gift from Mor – right?
“You didn’t know,” Lucien mused, now seemingly unable to take his eyes off of her. Elain shook her head. “Ah, of course, I gave it to Nuala the other day, she wouldn’t take it until I said it was from Mor.”
“I’ll…have to ask her about it. Why do you have your mother’s dress?”
“Eris delivered it months ago, apparently she’d heard of our bond and wished to gift it to you as a mating present.”
“Oh-”
“I don’t intend to – I’m not giving it to you for that reason I just, I explained to Nuala my thinking about how the fabric and style is perfect for setting intention.” Elain just drifted next to him, turning his words over in her head.
“Is this why you are always dressed so finely, because it is a political motive?” Lucien, to her surprise, grinned wickedly.
“Nothing is coincidental, Elain, from the clothes we wear to the way we talk.”
“Whose we?” Lucien shrugged.
“I would’ve said Autumn Court Males but, I believe it is only Eris whom I share that trait with. Ah, here we are.”
The hall was set up like a Courtroom, with certain families, estates, and job sectors, sectioned off into small groups. Elain and Lucien, being the representatives for The Fae were somewhat isolated from everyone else. They were near enough to Vassa and Jurian who were bickering quietly from where they were seated to their right. The room was still squabbling and rowdy with chatter, and there were only men besides Elain and Vassa. The other mortal queens were not even present.
Elain’s eyes unwittingly began to search for Graysen. For some reason, not having seen him yet was making her nervous, it felt as though the longer she waited, the worse it was going to be. She just didn’t want to have anything sprung upon her.
Perhaps with the bond having been in more use the past few days, it seemed that Lucien was somehow easily able to gleam that Elain’s attention had returned to her ex-fiancé. Elain knew because he’d gone rigid next to her.
“What?” Elain prodded, turning to him. With the hall still full of chatter, she wasn’t worried about anyone overhearing their conversation. She’d thought she and Lucien had been good on the Graysen topic following their conversation in the kitchen doorway. Lucien didn’t look at her, instead, he appeared to be assessing the Darlington’s as they made themselves comfortable. “Lucien,” Elain stressed.
“I um, I felt you the other night, when you found out Graysen was engaged,” he began slowly, still not meeting her eye. Elain tugged on his sleeve forcing him to look down at her, she raised her brows questioningly to show she didn’t understand. Lucien breathed deeply, his eyes closing momentarily before he looked deep ahead, avoiding her pleading look. “I could feel what you were feeling.”
The way Lucien looked ahead, his jaw set and his eyes unfeeling, it was as though that little sentence had explained everything. But she was just more confused.
He’d felt her? Her emotions? What had she been feeling? She’d found out that Graysen was engaged, and she felt…She had felt tired, relieved, pitiful even. It was like some door had finally jammed shut after it had been fluttering between open and closed. It was a final sever in their bond and as she had fallen asleep that night, she’d welcomed the end of her time with Graysen. Her dream that night was a reminder that her relief was earned.
How could any of that upset Lucien?
Then Elain realised that Lucien had felt it. That longing, and by the way Lucien was now glaring at his hands, curled into fists in his lap, she’d realised that he may have misunderstood what, exactly, she was longing for.
She didn’t want Graysen. She wanted what he had. Not in terms of Delilah but, she wanted his ignorance, his ability to simply move on and find a new wife. She wanted his strength to not change, to still be who he was, to still have the world the way he wanted it with him at the centre.
She longed for the bliss Graysen had found, simply because that bliss made her agony so much more tender.
Lucien had misread her. She almost sighed with relief. She could fix this; she could simply explain to him why, and the small waves of hurt currently rocking through her would disappear.
Lucien wasn’t Graysen, he wasn’t going to leave her side in an instant just because of a misunderstanding. But even as Elain repeated this to herself as the room quietened and the meeting began, some part of her refused to believe it – some part of her refused to trust.
***
The meeting was rather boring. After all her research and all her note-taking, the first two hours involved discussions Elain had no interest in. It was about internal disputes, farmers angry with one another over borders, fisherman demanding wage rises, etcetera, etcetera. Elain was forced to watch as the Lords and Noblemen sneered down at the lower class, working men and had to bite her tongue the entire time.
It seemed that Lucien shared her disgust, as he regularly whispered quips in her ear about how mortal and fae weren’t so different after all. That the High Fae and these Noblemen had more terrible things in common, such as their treatment of working families and Lesser Fae.
Elain had tried to watch with an assessing eye, categorising the figures she needed to remember for later discussions. But by the time the lunchtime break came about, she was practically falling asleep on Lucien’s shoulder. It was after lunch that the room seemed to clear slightly, the farmers and peasants going home to their families as the topic of the Fae and Queen Vassa was brought up.
Queen Vassa made her introduction to the room, her voice full and powerful as she stood, Jurian watching with an all-knowing smile at her side. There were some small talks about property and Vassa was able to confirm her signature on several contracts.
Lucien got involved in discussions several times, and Elain was more than happy to sit quietly and watch as he worked the room. He was perfect. The way he eased into conversations, the easy-going smiles, the unconfrontational comments on trade routes and Fae resources.
Elain was surprised to notice that several Noblemen had taken a shining to Lucien and seemed to actively pursue his voice in discussions. She could tell a lot of it was fake, the way Lucien grinned at men whom he’d whispered insults about in Elain’s ear but, his courtier’s mask was perfect.
Elain was beginning to think that she might make it through the meeting without having to stand and utter a single word, until Lucien interjected a conversation about wrapping up for the week.
“We must speak of the matter that is Koschei.”
This seemed to be the first thing Lucien had said which the Noblemen did not instantly grin and nod along to. Instead, Elain saw heavy sighs and the rolling of eyes. It would seem that these Lords did not mind discussing with the Fae so long as it was about mortal matters. But talk of Death-Gods and magical firebirds, seemed to rather put them off.
“We have spoken of it. Weeks ago.” Elain heard Lord Nolan’s tired voice swim into the room. He appeared humoured by Lucien’s statement while Lucien simply remained passive. Stoic. They were sitting far to their left, and Elain had already glimpsed Graysen perched next to his father, leaning back in his chair. It was almost like he was trying, and failing, to impersonate Lucien’s image of confident boredom.
“May I remind you, Lord Nolan, that fae resources are only open to you so long as you stick to your word.”
“My word-”
“-yes,” a shimmer of anger was seen in Lucien’s eye, but beyond that his courtier's mask was flawless. “Your word that you would assist both Queen Vassa and her fae acquaintances in disposing of the Death-Lord, whose residence is not far from this very hall.”
“The agreement was to help you reverse the so-called curse placed on the Queen, and as we can all see, Queen Vassa has joined us today and therefore one might consider that vow fulfilled.”
“I am here on bought time,” Vassa now stood, her voice dripping in authority and power as she asserted herself amongst the men, “I shall not explain the means, as the explanation shall no doubt be lost on a room of mortals, but what you see before you is merely a temporary solution to the problem.”
“It would do you well, Queen Vassa, to remember that you too are mortal,” Lord Darlington now husked, his eyes predatory, “Or at least you were…once.”
“Oh don’t worry, Darlington, she’s just as mortal as I am,” Jurian grinned, though the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Darlington merely sneered in disgust.
“The point is Koschei is still at large-” Lucien tried again, the picture of relaxation from where he stood, looming over the room.
“And what do you expect us to do?” Elain felt her heart shudder as Graysen’s voice finally joined the others. It was only a matter of time.
Even though he was speaking to someone else - to Lucien - Elain felt her fight or flight instinct kick in. The last time she had heard that gravelly, low voice, had been when it had broken her heart.
“You fae clearly see us humans as inadequate, as proven by your Queen forgoing explaining her sudden appearance. No doubt caused by some dark magic, the same magic that threatens to infiltrate our lands and poison our people.” Graysen rose to his feet, his voice growing louder, and Elain noticed how much he had aged since she’d last seen him.
It had only been two years but the stress of rebuilding the mortal world without a wall had taken its toll: thinning hair, lines around his mouth, he’d also put on quite a bit of weight. He was no longer the young boy Elain had fallen in love with, a dreamer who wished to rid the world of evil beings. He was a man with a heart full of hate.
“Two things,” Lucien’s own voice didn’t waver as he turned to address Elain’s ex-fiancé, and she wondered how much they’d had to see of each other over the past two years. “One, Vassa is not my Queen. Two, it is somewhat hilarious to watch you whine like a pup over Queen Vassa not explaining to you her magic, when you are already so prejudiced to not comprehend the difference between the fae and Koschei. There is no magic seeking to infiltrate your lands apart from the work of the latter.”
“Koschei is fae-”
“-Koschei is a Death-God.” Lucien’s tone turned cold, and at that moment the sun dipped behind the clouds. “A survivor from the time of Old Gods. He is not fae, he is a threat to us as much as he is a threat to you.”
“The threat to humans are all fae and everything that comes with them.”
“The fae of Prythian have no interest in humans-”
“Oh please, one must only look to my ex-fiancé for proof of their machinations.”
The room went cold. The sun having now truly disappeared from sight, leaving behind a world of blue and grey shadows.
“Look at her, look at her unnatural beauty. Many of us knew Elain, the true Elain Archeron, the human one. She was beautiful but plain of the mind but set to live a normal, human life. Now look at her, she’s no better than a siren or a nymph, her beauty is of a freak nature and it’s only purpose is to lure you in, to cover the ugly truth underneath. Her and her two sisters were turned, stolen from their beds in the middle of the night and taken across the wall. I’m surprised to see you here Elain,” Graysen had been talking theatrically to the room, but that last sentence was personal, intimate. And when he caught Elain’s eye, she could only think one thing.
She hated him.
“Surprised but I suppose that’s my own fault, you always had a small fortune of ugly secrets you liked to keep hidden - and to think I almost fell into a marriage with you. You see, this is another reason the fae wish to infiltrate our lands, they wish to take our wives. Elain was stolen and turned only to be given to the male we see before us,” Graysen held his arm out to where Lucien was standing, still as stone at Elain’s side.
“This male was able to lay a claim on Elain the second she was turned. We’ve all heard of the mating bond.” A ripple of disgusted murmurs went around the room. “At that moment Elain, my soon to be wife, belonged to a fae male. Mother knows what atrocities occurred in the time between their mating and the moment Elain finally remembered her fiancé and came back home.”
Outrage and disgust were expressed around the room, and Graysen looked almost gleeful as he assessed the crowd.
“These two, this harlot and her owner-“
Elain shot out a hand and gripped the fabric of Lucien’s trousers if only to stop him from burning the boy to a crisp from where he stood.
“-have come here to mock us! They have come as a warning, to show us what will happen to our people - our women - if we allow this alliance with the fae to continue!” There were shouts of encouragement swelling from the crowd. “If we continue on this path then our women will look like her, horrid in their beauty. And worse, our women will belong to him as Elain belongs to him, as little more than a personal prostitute!”
There was something feral in Lucien’s eye as he glared at Graysen across the room. But while her mate was focused on her ex-fiancé, Elain was drowning in the leering coming from the crowd. People she had just introduced herself to a few hours earlier and had pleasant conversations were now staring at her with revulsion and disgust. She heard shouts of people calling her a ‘witch’, people telling her that she had no shame, that she was to burn in hell.
With her hand fisted in Lucien’s trouser leg, Elain drowned it out, she drowned it all out, and reached for the bond within.
Lucien was a tempest. Brushing up against the bond, Elain herself could feel the fire in his veins, could envision the rings of his powers, burning hotter and hotter all the way down to his golden core. The mating bond was taut in his skin, demanding him to defend Elain, to rip out the throat of anyone who would insult her. But there was another anger there too, a personal one. Lucien was furious on Elain’s behalf; she could read that now. He thought so highly of her and to hear lesser men insult her was turning him livid.
Sharply, Elain tugged on the bond and in an instant, his eyes snapped to hers.
There was so much emotion in that one look. Concern, fury, bitterness, doubt. It was all there for her to see; he didn’t dilute anything. With as much delicacy and care as she could muster, she slipped her hand from his pant leg into the hand that was dangling by his side.
Slowly, she rose to her feet.
“It is true,” she began, and she felt Lucien’s hand squeeze her own. “I was stolen in the middle of the night by a group of fae. They stole me across land and ocean, all the way to Hybern. It is there where I was thrown into the Cauldron, the maker of all life, and transformed into a High Fae. This is all true.
“But my transformation was an irregularity, an unfortunate yet calculated political move whereby the King of Hybern attempted to get back at my sister for her killing of Aramantha. I expect you to all remember the King of Hybern, given that your own armies joined the fae in the Battle that catalysed these meetings two years ago.
“The King of Hybern was evil. Not the fae of Prythian. The King of Hybern was your enemy and the threat to human life. Not the fae of Prythian. Those such as Lucien here fought for your freedom. Fae died on that battlefield for you to stand here today, and you repay them by villainising them.
“There needs not be any animosity between these mortal lands and the fae realms of Prythian. I grew up like you, believing the fae were evil incarnations that existed to tempt human morality. But unlike you, I have travelled Prythian, I have seen fae from all walks of life, and the reality is the cautionary tales we all heard growing up were nothing more than fiction.
“The fae have homes, wives, children. They have towns and cities, farms, libraries and schools. They wake up each morning and go to work and each evening they have dinner with their families.
“This alliance is not about turning humans into fae, nor turning fae into humans. It’s about recognising life and seeking to protect it from those who might threaten it - and Koschei threatens all of us. We know he seeks to free himself from the confines of his lakeside Manor, we know he wishes to seek vengeance for his imprisonment. But there is much we do not know.
“We do not know how Koschei was bound to the lake, how he steals women of this land and turns them into swans, why he took Vassa, nor what it will take for him to be free. That is why this alliance is paramount.
“Koschei has a fascination with the mortals, he steals mortal women and mortal Queens. His residence is only a few miles south from here, deep in the forest. It is because of this we need mortal alliances.
“You do not need to believe the fae are good, nor must you trust us. But you must understand that all we wish to do is destroy a being who threatens everyone in this room. The alliance need not be a happy one, but it is needed.”
The room had quietened, the shouting had stopped. People were listening to her, and Elain had finally found her voice.
Lucien’s hand squeezed her own and she realised they were both standing before the room of mortals. She could only have an idea of what they must’ve looked like, side by side, glistening with the beauty of the Fae. They must’ve looked united and commanding.
They must’ve looked powerful.
Then, across the room, a man got to his feet. Looking at him for a moment, Elain realised it was the young Lord she had been speaking to with Delilah who owned the rice fields out West. He looked tentative and young as the spotlight fell on him, but when he met Elain’s eye, she saw a fierceness burning there.
“What do you need?”
***
Lucien wanted to get Elain home quickly after the meeting. Today had been unusually tiring, what with Elain’s debut in that dress this morning to the crowds turning on his mate halfway through the meeting. He just wanted to go home.
Correction, he needed to get Elain home and safe and away from these horrible men and their horrible thoughts.
A few noblemen came forth following the meeting expressing their devotion to helping Elain and Lucien in tackling the problem of Koschei. Most of them were young Lords who had come into their father’s wealth unexpectedly after the war, and their hearts had not yet had a chance to become polluted with years of hatred for the fae.
That was a success. No matter how often Lucien had tried to convince the noblemen to even speak of Koschei in the meetings, it seemed that the missing element was both Elain and Queen Vassa.
But before long Lucien had had enough. He wanted Elain home and safe now, and expressing a few half-hearted apologies he looped Elain’s arm through his and guided her out down the pathway before winnowing away without a second notice.
They made their way to the house with some small talk about how well the meeting had gone (Lucien tried his hardest not to spend all his time grovelling about how amazing she was and how fierce and strong she’d looked when addressing the crowds). The maids were there waiting for them with a pot of tea whilst they began on dinner.
It seemed that the meeting had gone on well into overtime and the sun was now distinctly plummeting towards the horizon. But when Vassa and Jurian finally made it back on horseback, there was only Jurian who entered the living room with a glass of whiskey.
“Where’s Vassa?”
“She decided to get her firebird overtime out the way,” Jurian sighed, something bitter in his eye as he flopped carelessly on the couch next to Lucien.
“Does that mean she won’t be turning back tonight?”
“We assume so, we’re not sure how the ring works but if Koschei’s little note is correct then I believe we won’t be seeing Vassa for a few days.”
Lucien cursed under his breath. Jurian just looked tired and…angry.
“There was a note?” Elain asked from where she was perched on her armchair, her legs tucked up underneath her, her dress outlining every curve of her body.
“Yes,” Jurian eyed her for a moment, “You did well out there princess, Lord Cao looked practically ready to sign you his battlements.” The Lord who had spoken at the end of the meeting.
“We talked after,” Elain mused, her finger running around the lip of her glass, “His residency is the closest to Koschei’s manor and he’s invited all of us to come visit, I think if we get close enough we may be able to get a read on the magic that’s bound to the manor.”
“Oh, fun, a day trip,” Jurian sighed bitterly, something clearly having aggravated his mood. He turned his scowl to Lucien. “Are you really going to let your mate within a mile of that place?”
Something dark flickered in Lucien’s eye.
“If Elain deems it a worthy trip then of course we must go. I thought you were interested in seeing Vassa free of the curse?”
“Of course I’m interested in seeing Vassa free, why do you think I’m here?” Jurian hissed.
“To generally give the manor a feeling of unease?”
“To make rude comments about people’s sisters in an attempt to start a fight?” Elain added.
“To make indecent comments about people’s mates in an attempt to-”
“Alright, alright. Mother, you two are no fun.” Jurian rolled his eyes, but some of the tension seemed to leave his body at the teasing. “Have you already eaten?”
Elain and Lucien nodded and Jurian got up with a stretch.
“Yum, leftovers for me then,” was all he said before he headed for the door.
“Jurian,” Elain called, “That note Koschei sent with the ring, could I see it?” Jurian glanced between her and Lucien, seeming to think before he nodded.
“I’ll send it up to your room in the morning," was all he said before he left the room. And once more, Lucien and Elain were left alone with nothing but a crackling fire.
There was a tension there that hadn’t been there before, or maybe it had, maybe they’d both just been too ignorant to see it.
The reality was there would always be that tension between them, that intrigue and possibility. Looking at her now, curled in an armchair, the dress having turned a glittering emerald in the firelight, he felt every inch of his skin respond to her.
Not for the first time, an unplanned fantasy strolled through his mind. An image of himself getting up off this couch and walking over to her, of him placing his knee on her armchair, in between her thighs, capturing her throat in his hand and lowering his lips to hers.
One blink and the image was gone. Perhaps it was the bond showing him these things, taunting him with a possibility that at this moment seemed unachievable.
“I, um, I wanted to talk to you actually,” Elain spoke into the silence, and briefly Lucien fretted if his scent had changed.
“Oh?”
“Yes…about Graysen.” Lucien’s hope dropped like lead in his gut.
“Oh.”
“I just wanted to say that I think you misread my emotions when I found out he was engaged which, I mean that’s not your fault. This whole bond kind of disrupts communication.”
Lucien just nodded. Looking at her, he saw the strands of hair that had come loose around her face, he wondered if they were as soft as they looked.
“I’m not upset about it. I don’t want him anymore,” Elain said plainly. “I just…I guess I want what he has.”
Lucien blinked. That wasn’t what he was expecting.
“What, specifically, do you want?” The words were careful, calculated.
“I’m not sure…his happiness? His ignorance?” Elain seemed to scowl slightly and then she was standing, setting her drink on a nearby table as she turned to the fire to warm her hands. Lucien pondered for a moment, definitely not using that time to worship at the way the dress followed the swell of her behind and, Mother help him, her thighs. Then he was up, moving around the table to join her at the fire.
Elain turned and watched him approach with an enigmatic stare, the fire reflecting in her glassy eyes.
“Graysen’s life is perhaps an easier one,” Lucien eventually breathed, “But whilst yours may prove more difficult, it is certainly more worthwhile.” Elain paused as she pondered his thoughts, and Lucien once more allowed himself to drink from her ever-flowing fountain of beauty.
“I just, I think it’s all so unfair.” She wrapped her arms around herself.
“Why?”
“Because why does he get to be happy? Why does he get to continue to live his life and just find someone else to marry? Is there no such thing as justice?”
“You are free to seek retribution Elain-”
“And give the humans further reason to hate the fae?”
Lucien blinked. The timing of Graysen’s death would be unfortunate, but Lucien wanted to see the boy dead, even if that meant tomorrow an army would be at his door.
“The humans should be grateful the fae are ridding them of such vermin,” Lucien couldn’t help himself from spitting as he glared out the window. But not before he caught Elain giving a weary look and for the first time, he realised just how tired she looked. The way her shoulders hung forward and her arms curled limply around herself. Something akin to agony washed through him at the sight of his exhausted mate, followed by the overwhelming need to fix it, to take her into his arms and protect her from all the things that worried her. Lucien had to fold his arms tightly across his chest to stop himself from reaching out.
“I don’t want to have any revenge when it comes to Graysen because it’s not going to make me feel better,” Elain looked at the fire as she spoke, and Lucien hated the wobble in her voice. He hated that he didn’t know who was making her cry – him or the boy.
“It might.”
“No. It wouldn’t,” she said with such ferocity Lucien was temporarily reminded of Nesta. “You know why?” Elain scowled, her eyes tightening and her lips turning down into a cruel frown.
“Because I would’ve still loved him if he’d been the one to come back changed. I would’ve still married him, and I would’ve told him it’d be alright, and we’d figure it out together – and killing him isn’t going to change the fact that he wouldn’t do the same for me. That he would’ve never done that for me; and that means he never loved me the way I loved him. You don’t get Lucien. Killing him means nothing because there is nothing I can do to him to make him hurt even half as much as he hurt me because he simply, doesn’t, care. He will never even comprehend what he did to me. He will spend the rest of his life, even if that life ends tomorrow, in blissful ignorance of what he did and the damage he caused. Hurting him back would just be so…so pointless, and…I’m tired.” Elain curled in on herself with an exhausted, angry sigh.
“I know you think I came here because I was ready to finally deal with this…with us,” she met his eye and hunched herself into a smaller ball, her arms winding further around herself, “But that’s not it. I came here because I’m tired and there nothing left for me and, and I’m running out of-of-I’m running out of-”
She was starting to hyperventilate. Madja had warned her of this, the panic attacks that had become a side effect of her depression. She needed to breathe, she needed to calm down, she needed-
Lucien crossed the room in three strides. Some part of Elain wanted to recoil at him approaching her with such ferocity in his step and steel in his eye, but she couldn’t be scared of him. She could be afraid of the bond and what it meant to her, what he meant to her, but Lucien would never hurt her. Ever. That she knew.
He’d stilled in front of her, looking down at her enigmatically. She’d run out of words, and she didn’t know if Lucien understood what she was attempting to say. Every part of her was ready to just break down from how exhausted she was.
The silence drew on. The tension turning palpable, and when she was just about ready to fall to her knees and let the agony take over, his arms wrapped around her, and he pulled her firmly against his chest.
Elain let out a small sob as her face was pushed into the fabric of his shirt, her head resting against his upper ribs and lower chest. She’d never been so aware of how different they were in size; he was the tallest of them all and she the shortest. But it felt…good. And maybe she was touch-deprived, or maybe she was just deluded, but she found herself burrowing into him. He was so warm, and with his arms around her she felt like…like he had her. Like it didn’t matter if she let go and just crumpled because he had her and he wasn’t going to let her hit the floor.
At this point, falling was inevitable. Elain had been falling for some time, plummeting down and down after the Cauldron had tipped her out and washed her corpse on jagged stones. But with Lucien holding her she considered, for the first time, having a soft place to land.
She didn’t want him to see her cry, so she burrowed deeper. Her arms were still curled around her torso; Lucien’s curled around her back. Both of them holding onto her and keeping her together. A few seconds, minutes, hours of silence and she realised that after this, she could never forget how he smelt. Apples, warmth, musk, fresh Earth, smoke. Familiar and foreign. A stranger but…hers.
He smelt like an evening, an Autumnal evening, with a brilliant streaking sunset. The kind where it seemed like the sun had never been so alive, where the sun took the sky and turned into its masterpiece.
He was that masterpiece. The Autumnal sky. The Autumnal Sun.
Sighing, Elain waited for him to recoil. For his arms to slacken and for him to move away, for them to nod awkwardly at each and then go to bed and try to pretend that this conversation hadn’t happened. But time ticked by, and Lucien didn’t let go. If anything, his steely grip only tightened. As though with each passing second, where Elain expected him to drift away, he set out to hold on tighter. Their words had run out tonight, but Elain heard the message he was saying as he held her closer and closer. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.
Elain breathed him in, and allowed herself to stay.
***
Right then, she wanted to tell him that she didn’t know how to do this, but she knew she didn’t want to hurt him. She wanted to say that she wasn’t sure if she could love again, that she might be a lost cause because Graysen had so thoroughly ruined her trust, and she wasn’t sure how high she’d built the walls around both her heart and mind. She wanted to say that she was lonely, and that she thought he was too, and what a funny pair they were in this world full of light and dark. Where good came in the form of people who made them both feel so alone.
She wanted to say that she was at a breaking point and had been for some time. That even though the war had ended it still raged within her. That no one else seemed to care because they’d got the happy endings whilst she just…existed.
She wanted to say that she didn’t know what she wanted. That her dream of being a wife and mother had been buried when she first tried to kill herself, three days after the Cauldron. Because how could she care for anyone else, especially a child, when she couldn’t care for herself.
She wanted to say that right now, in this moment, she just wanted to know him.
She just wanted a friend.
She wanted…
She wanted…
She wanted to run away and never look back. She wanted to damn the world that damned her. She wanted a brain that worked. A family she felt connected to. Someone to care.
Someone to fucking care. That was all.
But for now, this was enough. Lucien pulling her into his arms before she finally collapsed was enough. And so, tonight, she’d sleep. And that was enough too.
Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn's attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain's father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF
Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien
Warnings: None.
A/N: This is going to be a long, slow burn fic (hopefully)
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Chapter Four: Playing House
“Who could be calling this time of night?” Vassa rose from her chair, her skirts flowing to the floor.
“Trouble?” Lucien shrugged.
“We can only hope,” Jurian grinned, leaping to his feet with newfound excitement.
“I sent the maids to bed,” Vassa moved to peer out a window where she should’ve had a clear view of the porch, but nothing could be seen through the black rain, “Should I wake the house for guests?”
“We don’t know if it’s a guest, might be something more fun,” Jurian was still grinning wolfishly, now bouncing from one foot to the other, “So…who’s going to open the door?” Both man and male turned to look at Vassa who only scoffed in response.
“Ugh - why me?”
“You’re the queen, princess.”
“How are you going to call me queen and princess in the same sentence?”
“It’s an oxymoron.”
“Oxymoronic more like.”
“Oh Mother, I’m surrounded by children,” Lucien groaned, running his hands over his face.
“The only children in this room are you two. Afraid of answering a door for Cauldrons-sake,” she huffed as she waltzed into the foyer, embellished with russet wood and crimson carpets, Lucien and Jurian on her tail like puppies.
She’d just reached the towering oak doors when something whipped her around, pulling her by her outstretched hand. Turning, Vassa came face to face with Lucien whose eyes were stony with determination.
“I think not,” was all he said, his other hand resting on his belt where his silver sword of Autumn was permanently strapped.
“Why?” Vassa huffed, feeling her heartbeat quicken in response to the intensity of Lucien’s gaze.
“You’re insane if you think I’m going to let a queen open the door to an unexpected guest in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm, whilst unarmed and being tracked by a Death God.”
Vassa’s wide eyes just drank him in, before looking down at where his hand was wrapped around her wrist. He dropped it instantaneously, as though she had burned him.
“So he does have balls,” Jurian cooed from behind them, but to Vassa, he was long forgotten.
“Fine,” Vassa took a step towards the Fae Lord, allowing her voice to drop a few octaves as she refused to break eye contact, “Go ahead.” She just about purred before turning and walking back to wait at the base of the stairs, missing the confused look on Lucien’s face as he turned to the door.
He should’ve been able to smell whoever was on the otherwise of the door, as well as the Belladonna’s which sat in clay pots on either side of the entrance. But all Lucien was getting, was the smothering dew of the rain, wet overturned earth and the neither-here-nor-there scent of furious winds. He could however hear a soft murmur of voices, from the pitch, female, before a second, shy knock beat on the wooden door. Two heartbeats, and that was it, all the information he could glean given the storm and inches of brick which separated him and his ‘guests’.
With his hand on the door’s iron handle, Lucien’s body felt alive and electric, like a drawn bow ready to fire. There was something in the air, a moment of calm before the storm. Without dwelling on it any longer, Lucien rose to is full height, one of his greatest assets even against other Fae, and yanked the door open.
“Hello?” A small, quiet voice. A voice that haunted his dreams.
***
Touch her. No, don’t touch her. She doesn’t want to be touched. But it is normal for people to touch, people touch all the time, a hand on a shoulder is no affront. Just touch her. But you have no reason to touch her.
That’s what Elain smelt like, or something similar, he supposed.
At first all Lucien could see of Elain was her big eyes, peeking over her purple cloak like beacons. But he’d recognise those eyes everywhere, sometimes it felt as though they were in his room, watching him. She seemed to still as he caught her eye, him standing in the warm orange light of the house, her shrouded in darkness and mystery.
At first all Lucien could see of Elain was her big eyes, peeking over her purple cloak like beacons. But he’d recognise those eyes everywhere, sometimes it felt as though they were in his room, watching him. She seemed to still as he caught her eye, him standing in the warm orange light of the house, her shrouded in darkness and mystery.
In response to the cold and the rain, Elain’s cheeks had flushed a healthy rose. Her eyes were wide, and Lucien could see how the water had darkened and elongated her lashes. If Elain were this beautiful when she was fae, Lucien couldn’t comprehend how magnificent she must’ve looked like a human. Surely there had been suitor after suitor, clawing for a minute of her time, or even a handkerchief or a pearl. Anything of hers to prove to themselves that such beauty was possible – that she was somehow real.
It wasn’t until Lucien had stuttered a meek ‘come in’ when he noticed the second bundle of a person over Elain’s shoulder. When they came into the light of the foyer, Lucien had recognised her as one of the shadow wraith’s that often accompanied Elain in the Night Court. Which one, he could not tell, but she was lesser fae, and lesser fae were always welcome in his home.
Lucien was sure he was in a state of shock, his ears were ringing faintly as Elain entered a polite discussion with Jurian who was smiling enough for the both of them. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, convinced that if he even blinked for too long then she’d disappear, back to the Night Court.
Lucien stood lamely to the side, his posture rigid. Vassa remained at the base of the stairs, whatever her countenance was to Elain’s arrival, he didn’t care for it. As Jurian chatted, Elain had pulled back her hood to reveal her hair of deep gold, soaked entirely, as though she had just arisen from a bath. Lucien dug his nails into his palm.
She was so beautiful, and it hurt to wonder how the Cauldron had ever, at any point of time, believed him worthy of being considered a perfect equal to such a creature.
“Ah, might this be the letter?” Lucien forced himself to tune into the conversation.
“Yes,” Elain’s gentle voice washed over him, lapping across his skin and like magic, it began to soothe him. “From the High Lady of the Night Court. I am to be staying with you for some time it seems, an extra hand to deal with the councils. If that would be alright?” Her voice, unlike Jurian’s or Vassa’s, was consistently soft, and in a strange way, it gave her an aura of power. As though she need not speak too loudly or rush her words, as she knew the world would be listening anyway.
“Ah,” Jurian plucked the sopping note from Elain’s palm, and though he really didn’t care, Lucien watched with intent at how Jurian avoided touching any part of Elain’s skin. Instead, he grabbed the letter’s corner and held it out as it dribbled rainwater across the red and gold carpet.
“Oh, um,” Elain seemed to flush, “I promise you it was a note from Feyre. The lettering might be a bit…illegible.”
“I think we can take your word, Ms Archeron.”
“Elain, please,” she whispered politely with a small curtsey that clearly came naturally. Lucien was so taken aback by Elain that he barely had time to recognise that Jurian was putting on a big show of good behaviour for his mate. If Elain had been anyone else, and if Lucien had been back in the Spring Court manor wearing his fox mask, he would’ve winked and told Elain that she was pretty enough to go where she pleased since kings would most likely fall to her feet anyway, but he just bit his tongue and cocked his head.
He needed to say something to her, he needed to be able to look into those eyes. What was she really doing here? Had Feyre truly sanctioned this? She’d said High Lady, not High Lord. Why had she come in the middle of the night? Why was she here, why was she really here?
“Let me take that for you,” was all he ended up saying, looking from Elain to her cloak then back to her eyes.
Some part of him hated seeing Elain in damp clothes with her hair dripping. It reminded him too much of the first time he’d seen her, as his mate, after she’d just been through the most traumatic experience of her life. He wished nothing more than to wrap her up into his arms and send wave after wave of warmth through her to dry her clothes, to make sure she was never cold and shivering again.
Elain seemed to stare at him for a moment, and Lucien wondered if she could possibly be just as taken aback by him as he was of her. How many of these moments, these little pauses between words, were genuine? And how much of it was the drive of the bond?
“Thank you,” She whispered, her hands reaching up to undo the clasp at her neck. As she did so, Lucien adverted his eyes. Something about seeing Elain remove an item of clothing, even a sopping cloak, felt too much like an invasion of privacy. And then she was holding her cloak out to him, and he just nodded at her, allowing his lips to turn up at the corners as he took the damp material, making sure not to accidentally touch her bare hands.
Behind Elain, the twin appeared to cock her head and glare at him, her message clear – ‘and what about me, huh?’ Lucien ignored her as he folded the cloak over his arm and took a step back towards the wall.
“Well, welcome to Lockhart Manor, Ms Archeron,” Vassa then announced herself as she strode forth from the base of the stairs, her posture stiff and elegant. This wasn’t Vassa speaking. This was a queen. “We have spare rooms in abundance which you’re more than welcome to settle into, since the maids are asleep right now please allow me to take you to your quarters.”
“Oh, um, thank you,” Elain nodded and smiled politely, a faint flush spreading on her cheeks, one that threatened to bring Lucien to his knees.
“No luggage, or are you not staying long?” Vassa inquired innocently enough, and had Lucien tore his eyes away from Elain for just a moment, he would’ve seen the slight glint in the queen’s eye.
“My sister will winnow me my bags tomorrow morning. You see, it was paramount we left the Night Court at a certain time. Unfortunately, this was our best window for travelling, but Feyre insisted you would be awake given…” given Vassa’s curse, her inability to see sunlight with human eyes.
“Are you in danger?” Lucien couldn’t bite his tongue as something began to rise within him – Terror? Anger? Worry? Elain’s big eyes drifted back to his, and once more she seemed to pause before speaking.
“No,” she breathed. Her voice was just a petal in the wind. “At least, only in danger of Nesta finding out I’m missing.”
“You didn’t tell her you were coming here?” If Lucien wasn’t mistaken, that might just be a slightly mischievous glint alight in Elain’s eye. The idea of Elain deceiving her viper of a sister to come across the world to stay with him, seemed far too good to be real, and Lucien couldn’t stop the small grin that pulled at his lips.
“Well, you must be tired after such a journey.” Lucien wished Vassa hadn’t spoken because it pulled Elain’s gaze from his. Lucien also suspected that little travelling had been done since Elain’s companion was a shadow wraith, and able to travel the world via the shades. “Please, let me show you to your room.”
Lucien hated to see her go, as she politely curtseyed to the queen before following her up the stairs and disappearing down a corridor which led to the western wings. It was only when she was, in fact, out of sight, that Lucien felt the reality of her presence collide with him like a pile of bricks.
Suddenly, he was breathing too quickly, no, too slowly. His body was overheating, and his heart was racing. All around him swirled her scent and every cell in his body was screaming at him to follow her up the stairs, to keep her in sight and never let her leave it. Keep her warm, keep her safe.
“Careful Luce,” Jurian’s voice called him back to reality, and he found Jurian peering at him with that god-damn, shit-eating, all-knowing grin, “She’s going to want that back,” was all he said as he nodded at the sopping cloak Lucien had clutched against his abdomen. The rainwater soaking through his linens, and making him shiver.
***
“You say your sister sent you?” Vassa was leading Elain and Nuala down a series of hallways. Elain liked the manor, one she would’ve adored when she was human. There was a crimson carpet that bled across the entire house, embellished with threads of sparkling gold. Deep brown wood covered the walls in panels, and there were candles here, not faelight, which cast the hallways in a warm, watery glow. It felt so familiar, in such a painful way.
“I wanted to be of some use to my sister following Briallyn, she thought I could be of use in working with the human councils given I…well, I…”
“Used to be human?” The queen’s voice was slightly monotonous, almost sounding as though she were somewhat bored, that these things happened all the time.
“Yes,” Elain nodded furiously. She’d been so caught up in the idea of seeing Lucien again that she’d practically forgotten Jurian and Vassa.
“Well, after a good night’s rest you might be able to catch me before sunrise and we can discuss where you’d be most useful.”
“Yes, thank you…what kind of work is there?”
“Meetings with councils and human lords, establishing positive relations between fae and humans which, considering humans were enslaved to the fae a few hundred years ago, isn’t the easiest relationship to manage. There’s also work to be done regarding the human armies, and not to mention the other human queens. We could also use with someone prepared to travel to establish trade routes between the mortal lands and the Spring Court, though, really all of this pales in comparison to cleaning up the mess Briallyn left behind.”
Elain blew out a breath. There was so much going on in the world, in the mortal lands alone, and her family had hidden it all from her. Or had they hidden her from the world? It didn’t matter, she was here now, and she was prepared to make herself as useful as possible.
“Where can I find you, to talk tomorrow morning?”
“I’ll most likely be in the dining room, taking breakfast with Lucien and Jurian.” The Queen swung a hard left and Elain stumbled slightly as she tried to follow.
“Okay…thank you, for everything.” Elain put on her best smile, but the queen wasn’t looking at her.
“You were quite sick the last time I saw you,” was all the queen said in response, and Elain felt as though ice had been poured down the back of her dress.
“Yes, I was,” Elain said quietly, her eyes meeting those of Nuala’s for a fleeting moment. God, where was her room?
“You’re better now?”
“Yes,” Elain practically whispered, not interested in being reminded of those torturous months post-Cauldron. Especially when, technically, she was still in them.
“Good,” Vassa said, and Elain couldn’t read her tone, but then, “Here are your quarters, Jurian’s rooms are just down the hall. If you wish to find me, or Lucien,” she paused slightly, “Then you can find our rooms in the East wing. Just ask a passing maid and they’ll lead you to us.”
Something ugly reared its head inside Elain as Vassa referred to her and Lucien as an ‘us’. And if Elain wasn’t mistaken, judging by the glint in Vassa’s eye, the language had been intentional. But Elain knew this game, knew how to play a courtier, how to manipulate a crowd with a smile.
Interesting, some part of Elain perked up. Maybe she’d gotten herself into more than she was expecting by coming to Lockhart Manor. Or maybe, it was a really, really good thing she’d come at all.
“Thank you,” was all Elain said, letting nothing pass her courtly smile. “For everything.”
***
Nuala had her own room but had stayed with Elain for a while after Vassa’s departure, perhaps reading the slight tension in the Acheron’s shoulders as she perched herself at her room’s vanity. If Elain was rational, then she would be obsessing over Vassa, of what she said and the look in her eye as she spoke. She would try and unfurl the dynamic she was to expect at breakfast tomorrow, when the world was still dark.
But she was thinking of him.
Lucien was different here, and Elain realised that she’d never seen him out of the Night Court. In fact, all at once the chaste meetings they’d had thus far seemed entirely, hilariously inadequate.
He was otherworldly, something about him seemed more fae than the others, even the Illyrian’s with their beautiful wings. Lucien was fire and light in form. His hair, no mortal could even imagine hair like that. In fact, Elain was convinced that even Feyre couldn’t capture it’s essence in her paintings. It was ever-changing, always moving and shifting colours in the light, almost as though it were alive. When she’d first seen him in the Night Court it had been a paler, autumnal orange with what seemed to be streaked with glittering gold. But here, by the candlelight of Lockhart manor, it was the red of rust and blood.
His skin was made of tan plains that rose and fell over the contours of his body in a way that reminded Elain of the deserts she’d seen drawn in adventure books. And then there was his impossible height, taller than everyone, including those back at the Night Court, only beating Cassian by an inch. He had a presence in a room like no other, he demanded intrigue and interest, with his mismatched eyes and brutal scar.
Maybe Elain had only been so nervous of Lucien because of that reason. Because she was used to seeing men who appeared to have not quite come into their bodies, their chins loose with excess skin, their hair wiry and coarse. And Lucien…Lucien looked as though he’d had hundreds of years to hone his body. Tall and sharp, standing with a poise that reminded Elain of a blade. His eyes alert and always moving, and a mouth that quirked to the side, as though there was always some dirty joke resting on the tip of his tongue.
Guilt moved through Elain in a wave. First, guilt over Graysen, then guilt over Azriel. Both men whom she’d also found to be beautiful, in their own ways. The innocence of Graysen, which in hindsight, proved to be a hilarious interpretation. The mystery of Azriel, the way that even when she was convinced he wanted her, she was never entirely sure.
Perhaps it wasn’t guilt that washed through Elain, but rather dread. Because here she was, again, and all she could hear was her mother’s voice echoing in her mind – Foolish girl. Foolish, foolish girl. Her mother would tell her that she never learns.
Or maybe she wouldn’t. She’d only admitted to herself that Lucien was attractive, his eyes searing, looking every bit of the fae prince as he swung open the door, backlit by gold and red light. And the bond was supposed to make her find him attractive, right? She could consult the book she’d brought later. Because that was the problem – what was real and what was the bond? Did Lucien truly care for her? Would he have even looked her way if the bond hadn’t existed? No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t be convinced. Lucien was suited to the bold courage of Nesta or even the quick-wit of Feyre. Elain was brutally soft. Men like Lucien didn’t care for the delicate - right?
“I’m sorry to take you from your sister, Nuala,” Elain whispered, as her friend began to comb through her dripping hair.
“It’s no problem,” Nuala’s voice was like velvet, and in the mirror, Elain could see her eyes were soft and her mouth turned up at the corners. “Sometimes getting away from family can be good for you.”
Elain hummed in response as Nuala began to knot her hair into a crown of elegant braids so that her hair would dry with a curl.
