ExR: "God, I missed you"
Hope this suits your needs anon.
Summary: Enjolras returns home from college nervous that nobody will remember him.
Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, tell me if you need anything else listed/tagged.
Enjolras was worried. Even though he should be celebrating, he couldn’t shake the anxiety that stuck with him. He had just graduated from law school after seven excruciatingly long years. Now, he was moving back home. This wouldn’t be so much of a problem, except for the fact that he had a large group of friends he hadn’t seen for, what, three years now? Sure, he’d kept in contact, but that didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t seen them face to face in forever.
He tried to visit them every once in a while, but as uni progressed he’d had less and less time to do so. Instead, regular texting was how they had to communicate, but even that had slowed down as more and more work had been piled onto Enjolras’ workload. It’s not like he’d been avoiding them, he just hadn’t had much time to do anything other than schoolwork.
As he taped the last of his moving boxes, he looked around his now empty dorm room. Seeing it so lifeless only made him more anxious about leaving. He had lived in this room for seven long, stressful years. Now he had to go back to a place he barely remembered.
A tiny, nagging voice in the back of his head appeared, bringing unwanted thoughts with it. “And you’re back to people who barely remember you. They haven’t seen you for three years, why would they want to see you now?”
“That’s not true,” Enjolras said, thinking aloud. “I texted them last night and they said they were glad I was coming back.”
“But remember how long it took them to reply? It took them an hour to just read the text. And Combeferre was the only one who replied. Sure sounds like excitement to me. They don’t want you back, they only replied out of pity.”
He tried to argue with the intrusive thoughts, but anything he did only made them worse. He tried using various distraction tactics Jehan had showed him, but those didn’t help either.
“What if when you get back everyone hates you? What if you get back and nobody remembers you? What if you get back and you blackout and murder everybody? What if-”
Overwhelmed with anxiety, he instinctively started tapping a rhythm against his leg. He focused on that until he couldn’t hear the thoughts anymore, then picked up the last box and walked outside.
Once the last box had been neatly arranged in the back of his car, he sat down in the driver’s seat but hesitated before turning the key. There was still one train of thought that stuck with him.
“What if when you get back, Grantaire hates you? What if when you get back Grantaire doesn’t remember you? What if you get back and something’s happened to Grantaire?”
These thoughts had been plaguing his mind for longer than he’d like to admit. He’d been in love with Grantaire for some time, but he’d never told him. He’d kept his feelings bottled up for years, and now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. His anxiety increased every time he thought of how reuniting with his friends, but more specifically, Grantaire would go. He decided to stop thinking about it, but that didn’t do much to calm his fears.
He started the ignition and began the hour-long drive, only his thoughts, and The Greatest Showman soundtrack for company. It was going to be a very, very long drive…
~~~
Grantaire woke to the sound of his phone going off like a siren, a million notifications screeching to be acknowledged. Still half asleep, he reached over to grab his phone, almost dropping it in the process. He turned on his phone to see more than 100 messages in the group chat, all of them probably important. He glanced at the time and almost fell off of his bed. Now wide awake, he scrambled to throw on some clothes.
“Courf is going to kill me,” he thought as he rushed out the door, scrambling to get to the Musain. “It’s 1 am and I just woke up. I thought I had an alarm set…”
While it wouldn’t be much of a problem any other day, today was the day Enjolras finally got back from uni. It had been years since he last saw him, and he had been texting less and less. It was understandable, given that he was in his graduating year, but it had still hurt when a text went unanswered for days.
Grantaire burst through the doors of the Musain to find everything arranged perfectly, waiting for Enjolras. Then he heard a voice from the other room.
“Is that Grantaire? Move aside ‘Ferre, I need to commit a crime.”
Courfeyrac entered the room, glaring at Grantaire with a murderous rage.
“And just where have you been? You were supposed to help make the decorations! And help with the baking!”
“Would you believe me if I said I got… uh… caught in… traffic?”
“You live, like, a block away. Wait, do you even have a car? Nevermind, I don’t care. What I do care about is you showing up hours late! What is wrong with you!”
“Many things, but the relevant problem would be that my alarm didn’t go off when it was supposed to. Either that or I slept through it.”
Courfeyrac sighed, looking disappointed but not surprised. “At least you came… Well, since there’s nothing left to do, I guess you can just hang out until he gets here.”
Courfeyrac walked away and Grantaire sat down at a table, wondering if it was too early to start drinking. Suddenly, Combeferre rushed in through the door carrying a bag of chips.
“He’s coming! Everyone get out here, quick!”
Everyone scrambled out into the open, smiling excitedly and chattering loudly. After a few seconds, the noise died down as everyone waited in anticipation for Enjolras to walk through the door. Grantaire couldn’t see him come in over the crowd, but he did see the top of the door swing open and everyone rush toward him as they yelled “Surprise!”
The place erupted with laughs and smiles, talking about things they’ve missed out on and things to update Enjolras about. After everyone backed off and stopped crowding him so intensely, Grantaire tried to see him through the crowd with no luck. He wasn’t going to stand and try to push to the front, he wasn’t even that sure if Enjolras even wanted to see him.
He heard Eponine loudly announce how much she’d missed him and how she hated him for leaving her alone to deal with Courfeyrac, earning a very indignant “Hey!” from a fake-insulted Courf. He heard Enjolras and Eponine talk some more, not quite making out what they were saying. He zoned out, tuning back in when he heard his name.
“...Where’s Grantaire,” Enjolras said, sounding… anxious?
“Knowing him, he’s either still asleep or off somewhere drunk already,” Eponine said, trying not to laugh.
“Truly inspiring words, ‘Ponine. I can see how valued and noticeable I am in this friend group,” Grantaire said, voice dripping with sarcasm. The crowd parted as they turned to face him, and he could see Enjolras staring at him, a strange expression on his face.
“God, I missed you,” Enjolras said softly, almost too softly to hear. Grantaire smiled and stood up. He walked over to Enjolras and took his hands in his own.
“I missed you too.”
“Can I kiss you,” Enjolras asked, nervous but hopeful.
“Yeah,” he replied, not quite believing what was happening.
Then Enjolras’ lips were on his and everything else vanished. It felt like they stayed that way for years, but when Enjolras pulled away it was still too soon.
“I told you something would happen.”
“Shut up Courf!”
Grantaire turned round to see a smug Courfeyrac receiving twenty dollars from a disgruntled Bahorel.
“Wait a second, did you guys bet on this,” Grantaire asked, shooting a glare their way.
“Yeah, and if you’d been here on time like the rest of us, you would’ve known,” Courfeyrac replied with a smirk.
Grantaire looked back at Enjolras who seemed embarrassed but not surprised. Grantaire rolled his eyes at the others, earning a small laugh from Enjolras.
“Alright Grantaire, don’t think that because you two idiots finally did something about those feelings of yours you’ll get to hog Enjolras. Especially because I called first dibs,” Courfeyrac said.
“You can’t call dibs Courfeyrac,” Combeferre replied.
“I can and I will,” he said, skipping over to Enjolras and Grantaire. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to steal my best friend for a moment.”
Courfeyrac grabbed Enjolras’ elbow dragging him away. Enjolras shot an amused look back at Grantaire before being hauled back into the crowd, Grantaire close behind him.
