#finding hope again

[quiettonne]

Take me to the ocean. Take me to a beach laid with warm sand, crashing waves, quiet sun bathers, and a bottle of wine. Take me where the earth comes together with the ocean to bring peace, destruction, forethought, and hope. Take me to where the sun hits the distant horizon so that I can feel it’s energy and be at peace with the future to come.

[basedhoya]

things are going to be okay.

[tearsofrefugees]

‘I was scared I’d be deported’: how a charity helps children seeking asylum feel safe

The UK’s asylum-seeking process can be complex – especially for unaccompanied minors – which is why The Children’s Society is campaigning for every separated child refugee to be entitled to a legal guardian to guide them through the immigration system

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

Think of it like this…if he loses you, that opens the door for someone else to find you. Maybe it opens the door so you can finally find yourself. Not all is lost just because he was a lost cause.

[rogerkallenus-blog]

Book Trailer for "The Hero's Choice," a compelling story for our time.  The Hero's Choice is truly a life-guide through today's tumultuous times including loss of job, identity and finding hope again in an unpredictable world. To buy this book you can visit at here- https://www.rogerkallen.com/products/the-heros-choice-leading-from-the-inside-out/

[theadventurouscactus]

Fear of Stagnation

You do not get to this point because all hope has been lost. You get to this point because there was hope and that hope keeps shining through the night. The ups and downs come no matter what. You cannot control these. It really does feel like being on a boat in the deep oceans, feeling those constant waves knock you around. But you know they are coming.

Maybe that is what makes this easier. Everything seems so conventional. Like there is a legit process to this recovery and there are steps along the way you can check off. Milestones made, celebrations had. But at what point do you stop seeing those triumph feats? At what point does it become complacent. No change. No growth. No recovery. Just stagnation. That is what scares me.

[lauramomma27]

Its been a pretty rough few days but I’m getting back in the swing of things ever so slowly literally and figuratively, as I try to heal.  It was a nice surprise to see these pictures today and that I’m smiling in most of them and I didn’t wear the pain on my face my body was feeling throughout most of the race.

I’m also very glad when my friends finally found me there were no pictures taken of me to have to ever see again. I surely didn’t look anything like the smiling victorious person who wore that medal and tinfoil cape.

On the train the Morning of the race.

Fully I expected to see someone waiting for me with arms wide open proud of both of us, how far we came, overcame, reconnected as soul mates and to share in our victory. Why wasn’t he just honest? But I know now none of that was true it was all lies and manipulation and I was a pawn. I’ll never get why he did what he did but I try to think about it anymore because there’s just no rationalization to it. Just still all a shock and surreal blur; as if it was all dream or nightmare like being in a car accident and waking up in the hospital.

I should be overjoyed I finished this race but even today I’m just trying to get on with the new reality I exist in now. I’ve lost a lot of hope and faith after that unreal day. Never in my life have I been so elated and then completely inconsolably heartbroken all in a matter of hours – when my body was about to collapse of pain and exhaustion on top of it.

It’s not an easy thing healing and it will take a long time and parts may never fully heal. I might have finished the race but I lost hope and belief in someone I really loved and wanted to spend my life with. I know that is his problem and that I did nothing wrong but be me though it hurts all the same. I still wonder if I’ll ever be able to trust a man again and I don’t think I will.  Even the “good ones” seem to turn out to be psychotic and I guess that I lack the ability to recognize it and run away. I consider it being a mature quality to overlook a man’s outer geeky self, flaws and not be superficial and I think that’s part of the problem. So sorry guys out there but I think I’m just done. I’m okay with that too my life is still pretty busy these days with other things anyways.

Seeing this last picture (below) right after I finally finished a grueling 5 hour 40 minute 26.2 run (and walk), I know that deep down inside that Supergirl is in there somewhere and she’ll find a way to bounce back.

You will too- whatever hits you so hard you feel like you’ll never get back up again. You cannot let life’s worst take that away from you- especially when you have so much to be proud of.

Laura

Marathon and the Days After Its been a pretty rough few days but I'm getting back in the swing of things ever so slowly literally and figuratively, as I try to heal.