'Reflection' 2025 - Jay R. Harris. Oil on Canvas; 30" x 40"
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For the second iteration in my thesis collection, I wanted to paint something that connected myself with my art as well as with my audience. I often feel as a nonbinary person that my view in contemporary realism is heavily underrepresented- as well consistently misrepresented. Communicating through body language and composition is what realist painters are most known for; representing subtle symbolism through the representation of the human figure. In this case, I want to remove the viewer’s focus upon the body itself and instead communicate through the emotional qualities of the portrait. By focusing on something that obscures and processes our conventional understanding of gender and sexuality; the mind.
The composition of the painting focuses on myself looking into a crescent moon shaped mirror- something I really do have hanging up on the wall of my room- above the table in which I keep most of my personal effects such as my makeup, perfume, and jewelry. All of these elements that help me create the exterior persona of who I appear to be to those around me sit in the foreground of the image, partially obscured. This is done purposefully; these items, while creating my persona, do not define me- rather, the reflection in the mirror, staring directly at the viewer, reminds the audience that who I am is behind my eyes and inside my gaze. Including much of my favorite things in this painting was also important to me; my signature scent (Burberry’s Her Elixr), my favorite shirt (Green & Black Tie-Dyed Goosebumps Shirt), my phone case (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure), and my mirror (my first tattoo was a crescent moon on my left wrist). All of these items represent a piece of myself; they are elements of my personality that I choose to show to others around me. A portrait of someone, in my eyes, should communicate more than just their features; it also communicates their soul.
Motifs of both the sun and moon are often found in my work; and I would say this is half on purpose. I find myself drawn to these symbols and I end up using them as either still life objects or background elements. In this painting, I am encapsulated in an image of the moon; something that traditionally represents femininity and fertility. It also can represent intuition, love, and spiritualism; giving a mysterious air to the gaze of the subject. Representing not only the knowledge of oneself but also an element of self-love, self-actualization, and a deep understanding of oneself that, while not being exclusive to nonbinary individuals, is a very common feeling we as trans people share. A desire to deeply know oneself is integral to how we as humans experience the world around us, and how as artists we begin to communicate the world around us. As an addition to this series of paintings, it serves as a reminder to the audience that nonbinary people do not all look how many expect, we can be masculine, feminine, both, and neither- and each are valid representations of oneself. It also serves the purpose of showing that trans/nonbinary people are no different than any other; we have things we love to do, to experience, to wear, and individualistic ways we represent ourselves. I think that most of the time trans people are considered in popular media, their identity as a trans person is often made the main focus. This is not inherently a bad thing, but I feel that it is important to consider trans people as unique individuals, just as their cisgender peers are. I myself see being nonbinary as simply one of the many aspects of my persona. It does not define me as a person or make up all of who I am to my close friends and peers.
